upperranktwo
upperranktwo
Eternal Paradise
43K posts
Sky|29|4th June|She/Her| tracking #tusersky Manga Colourings & Gifs Douma's Wife ♡
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
upperranktwo · 5 days ago
Text
In case it's not obvious, I've been having a bad depression episode lately which is why I've been on nothing. I keep thinking about dying and how I have nothing to live for, I have nothing at all and I want it all all to be done with. I really am struggling so badly I've hardly left the house in weeks and I've neglected everything I love. I'm seriously wondering why I'm still alive and why bother with anything when nobody likes me anyway.
Idk I just feel like I should at least say I'm alive, I don't feel it, but I am, anyway I'm probably gonna just idk, try to not kill myself for a few weeks and just delete all my apps. Spiraling, breaking and neglecting is my favourite thing ♡ ily, don't forget I'm still the number 1 Douma fan, I think seeing him again is helping me not kill myself, is that tragic? It definitely is, but it's something small I guess. Anyway, see you all in a few weeks or maybe a couple months, I just want to sleep and not think at all.
#q
8 notes · View notes
upperranktwo · 5 days ago
Text
In case it's not obvious, I've been having a bad depression episode lately which is why I've been on nothing. I keep thinking about dying and how I have nothing to live for, I have nothing at all and I want it all all to be done with. I really am struggling so badly I've hardly left the house in weeks and I've neglected everything I love. I'm seriously wondering why I'm still alive and why bother with anything when nobody likes me anyway.
Idk I just feel like I should at least say I'm alive, I don't feel it, but I am, anyway I'm probably gonna just idk, try to not kill myself for a few weeks and just delete all my apps. Spiraling, breaking and neglecting is my favourite thing ♡ ily, don't forget I'm still the number 1 Douma fan, I think seeing him again is helping me not kill myself, is that tragic? It definitely is, but it's something small I guess. Anyway, see you all in a few weeks or maybe a couple months, I just want to sleep and not think at all.
8 notes · View notes
upperranktwo · 14 days ago
Text
Another day of heaviness, it's 8pm and I haven't ate yet, I'm not sure why I'm writing these posts, I think it's just a diary thing, like I am throwing these feelings into the avoid. I've promised my mum that I'll force myself to spend the day with her on Sunday. She doesn't want me on my own. She wants to watch me and make sure I'm safe and not hurting myself. I haven't, I promise. I am always too scared even when I've been on the edge. Something holds me back. I wonder what it is that does that? Maybe it's just fear, or maybe there is a bit of subconscious hope?
I've had a drink today, I'm still feeling like something is crushing me. I saw myself in a mirror and cried, not fun I wouldn't recommend but all I saw was something I hate. I'm really struggling right now, is it my worst episode? Probably not, but I know I don't like it.
Anyway, like I said, I'm talking into the void, wondering why people want to help me, why people want to know me or even why anyone would care about me when I'm like this. I feel like everywhere I go I'm hated, people find me annoying. I always feel so left out. I feel like I'm not supposed to be around anyone and just sit in darkness.
1 note · View note
upperranktwo · 15 days ago
Text
Another day of feeling like I'm being crushed by a weight that I know is there but can't see. All I've had today is a square of chocolate and slept on and off. I've not left my bed properly in days i haven't even been in the living room or seen family members in days. I don't want to do anything. I get messages asking if I need help and what people can do to cheer me up and I cried. I truly hate people worrying for me, wanting to help me because I don't deserve it.
I don't deserve people loving me or helping me, I don't deserve anything at all. I hate this feeling of dread and the tightness in my entire body, the way time moves so slowly so I'm stuck in this feeling longer. It's hard, I'm not sure if I wish I was dead? Sometimes I do, but other times... I just wish people didn't care about me because then I can have these feelings without guilt.
1 note · View note
upperranktwo · 16 days ago
Text
I feel so heavy rn, I've not left my bed other than a couple times in 3 days, all I've had to eat in 2 days is a handful of grapes, my jaw hurts, my head hurts, all I feel is weight is crushing me down, time is moving so slowly, and I should be used to it but I hate it so so so much. I stared at a wall for about 3 hours yesterday. I feel just.... rn
2 notes · View notes
upperranktwo · 19 days ago
Text
I miss this diva! Smiler they will never make me hate you (again)
0 notes
upperranktwo · 19 days ago
Note
hiiii!! long time no talk! i logged back into my account because i thought of you while watching the new demon slayer trailer. how do we feel about the douma crumbs we got?? :D
Omg!!!! Hello!!!!
I feel like going insane at any moment in time 😭 my friends really wanna watch it with me but I don't want them knowing just how normal I am!!!!! I'm honestly so excited for all this!!! But I'm also gonna end it all over Akaza I stg he is my best friend in the world!!!! The animation looks so good and I can't wait to see my fave do nothing wrong ever!!!!
I was with my friend at a zoo in Wales when the trailer dropped and I was literally at the snow leopards with my face in my hands when he had some crumbs. Never kill yourself besties!!!
1 note · View note
upperranktwo · 20 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
If anyone would like to follow me on instagram I would greatly appreciate it ♡ since the start of 2025 I've been posting everyday and I post animals from every zoo I visit! Thank you to anyone who considers following me on there!
6 notes · View notes
upperranktwo · 24 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
What a wonderful night.
534 notes · View notes
upperranktwo · 24 days ago
Text
We're gonna ignore that I am a day late gifing Douma from the trailer. I was so tired yesterday after going to Wales and have only just got back to my laptop 😭
3 notes · View notes
upperranktwo · 24 days ago
Text
Padme doing a big yawn and a big stretch
Tumblr media
16 notes · View notes
upperranktwo · 24 days ago
Note
SKY DID YOU SEE THE NEW KNY MOVIE TRAILER? THE ANIMATION LOOKED STUNNING.
^_^ I hope you are doing well.
I did!!!!! I am so excited it's actually unreal!!!
1 note · View note
upperranktwo · 24 days ago
Text
I saw him as an 8 week old cub in August 2024 and yesterday was my second time seeing him and I just adore this baby boy so much
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Little Qilian. 1 Yr old snow leopard at The Welsh Moutain Zoo
20 notes · View notes
upperranktwo · 24 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Little Qilian. 1 Yr old snow leopard at The Welsh Moutain Zoo
20 notes · View notes
upperranktwo · 29 days ago
Text
The penguin experience was so fun 😭 I spent half an hour feeding penguins and learning each ones names! I also got given a keyring of my favourite penguin, a bag and a water bottle which is cute! Worth every penny to me!!!
0 notes
upperranktwo · 30 days ago
Text
I'm super bored so I'd love some silly lil things to answer!!!!
1 note · View note
upperranktwo · 30 days ago
Text
Getting the opportunity to feed penguins tomorrow and I'm actually so excited it's unreal 😭😭😭
4 notes · View notes