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bedtime stories are sleepypastas

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Tumblr is unique bc like. It's collaborative shitposting and you can't opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous

Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you

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activatijg my love laser on u that kills u instantly. and u die. bc ily.

FAGGOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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the police to my mom: ma'am your daughter was driving 110 mph eating hot cheetos with one hand and texting in an imessage group chat titled “boy pussy” with the other and crashed into the back wall of dd’s discounts and died instantly but somehow her body made its way to the accessories section and we found 35 dollars worth of stolen hoop earrings in her purse

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Demure dalmaidtian, 2023, mixed media

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i need to stop going onto twitter bc in every single thread about the submarine sinking ppl are being chastized for not caring and "lacking compassion" meanwhile we're all on here like

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people who upload movies online for free shouldn't face legal action they should get their peanus sucked everyday.....??

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i love you USPS I love you NASA i love you taxpayer funded services that actually contribute positively to society i love you libraries i love you public transport

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the cycle repeats infinitely

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we need to bring back the word square like i don't think it's problematic that you listen to taylor swift i just kinda think it's lame as hell

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simmers will be like "townie makeover 🥰🥰" and then completely deprive said townie of any personality or individuality

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guys i’m looking for advice, is there a word for if i was like a butch he/him lesbian to those close to me but dressed and presented as just some guy in public, binding and packing taking on a new name just for like strangers?

I know this was a queer protection strategy and i’ve heard of lesbians back in the illegal days just flipping a coin to decide who would present as a guy but what if i did this here and now? is there a word for that or do i just have a little trans swag

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I simply don't think that's true eBooks.com but thank you anyway

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That birth order poll going around is so stupid LOL. Only children are seen as SPOILED BRATS. Youngest children are seen as SPOILED BABIES. Middle children are seen as SPECIAL SNOWFLAKES. Eldest children WORK TOO HARD.