we-create-a-perfect-harmony

[we-create-a-perfect-harmony]

we were supposed to be together forever

you talked about us having a future together

but now you give me the cold shoulder

at first i was worried about you

scared about what you may be going through

but no you were just okay with leaving me in the rear view

then i got angry

pissed at the new life you were making

knowing that you were good with leaving me here breaking

then i was content

knowing trying to get you back would not be time well spent

but i still wonder what brought us to this event

and then you went and wreaked it

sending me happy birthday two minutes before the clock hit

sending me into a spiral and making me realize our relationship was counterfeit

you were the first stable friend i’ve ever had

we used to sit next to each other and talk everyday during class

but now i sit here alone writing my feelings on a notepad

[we-create-a-perfect-harmony]

why do they hate love?

why do they try to blame it on the person above?

why do they try to force me to be some man’s housewife?

why do they hate that all i want to do is be with my wife?

why do they hate my existence?

then say between sin and sinner there is distance

as if the sin isn’t my whole life

as if the sin and sinner aren’t alike

why do they hate my being?

as if my ancestors weren’t the ones who built everything your seeing

then deny and ignore the obvious point

that slaves built the economy so that we could even have this joint

why do they hate my ability to create?

we’ve all seen the declining birth rate

if the government doesn’t get their act together

we’ll have so much more to worry about then some ozone layer

but we know all these problems won’t get fixed

because they just want to keep the pot unmixed

but it makes me wonder why

they have so much room to hate people like you and i

[we-create-a-perfect-harmony]

i’ll always be there for you

ghost me for 10 years

call me up again

tell me you’re at an airport across the country

i’ll be there for you

i’ll always be there for you

[we-create-a-perfect-harmony]

the story goes

you wanted me

you didn’t want me

you wanted me again

but all i hear is that you wanted me

once upon a time you chose me

you were the first person to choose me

you wanted all of me

you wanted none of me

you wanted my body

but all i hear was that you wanted me

you used me for my body

you used ME for my body

you still chose ME

in my polluted mind you still chose me

in my polluted mind you keep choosing me

you made me feel special

you make me feel special

you keep making me feel special

even when you hurt me

you still manage to make me feel special

[we-create-a-perfect-harmony]

you are so special to me

you deserve the world

you deserve to be happy

i want to be special to you

i want to give you the world

i want to make you happy

i do make you happy

like candy to a small child

a small surge of joy

but i’m greedy

i don’t just want to make you happy

i want to give you happiness

like finding color in a colorless world

a lifetime supply of ecstasy

i want to be more to you than i am

but i can’t

i’ve accepted it

even though i can’t give you happiness

i can still make you happy

[we-create-a-perfect-harmony]

i still think about you

i still pretend to talk to you

i still miss you

there’s a version of you in my head

there’s a version of you that’s real

those versions are not the same

i cling to you because i love you

but i only love one version of you

i love the real version of you

the imaginary one is nice

the imaginary one is perfect

the imaginary one is imaginary

the real one is messy

the real one is accidentally unkind

the real one is real

no matter what happens

no matter what you do

i will always like the imaginary version of you

i will always love the real version of you

i will always love you

[we-create-a-perfect-harmony]

[we-create-a-perfect-harmony]

[we-create-a-perfect-harmony]

we texted all night

i found comfort in the fact that you are like me

i found grief in the fact that you are like me

every life experience was shared

you’re like me but in a different font

you’re like me but you’re not me

i wanted to go to sleep

but talking to you is like looking in a mirror

but talking to you is like figuring myself out

i see myself in you

i’m so sorry that we’re the same

i’m so sorry that you are like me

but i’m not alone anymore

is it selfish to hope you stay like me

is it selfish to keep you in my life so i’m not alone

if im selfish does that mean you’re selfish too?

[we-create-a-perfect-harmony]

[we-create-a-perfect-harmony]

i found out

you are just like me

i’ve always known i’m not alone

but the only people i knew who were just like me

i’ve only found them through a screen

but now i’ve met you

it’s so comforting

it’s so scary

now i know i’m not alone in the world

now i know that we have the same experiences

i’m happy to have someone to relate to

i’m sad to have someone to relate to

you are just like me

you have the same experiences as me

i have someone to relate to

i am sorry you relate to me

[we-create-a-perfect-harmony]

i wasn’t forced to kiss you

but i did

and now i want to rip my lips off

i didn’t really want to kiss you

but i kissed you anyway

and now i want to rip my lips off

i’m sorry that you were my experiment

i’m sorry that this is my reaction to our kiss

i’m sorry that i want to rip my lips off

i tried to like kissing you

but i didn’t like it

and now i want to rip my lips off

i wanted to prove that i still like guys

but i am just more confused

and now i want to rip my lips off

[we-create-a-perfect-harmony]

i love you

but just as a friend

we try to push the boundaries of our friendship

turning platonic into romantic

but it doesn’t work

so we retuned back to being friends

but we’re never the same as we were before

we're friends with a history

we're friends who push the boundaries

but the boundaries always push back

i love you

but just as a friend

and only as a friend

because when we try to push the boundaries

they will always push back

[we-create-a-perfect-harmony]

[we-create-a-perfect-harmony]

i hate being treated like i'm dumb

she's a good mom

she has her flaws but who doesn't

but sometimes she treats me like i'm dumb

i hate being treated like i'm dumb

i'm not dumb

i'm not the smartest person in the world

but i'm not dumb

i don't understand everything

but i also don't understand nothing

i'm not dumb

i hate being treated like i'm dumb

it's annoying

[we-create-a-perfect-harmony]

they used to be an inconvenience

i would hear a door opening when no one else was home

it was scary but i just thought the house was haunted

because what other explanation is there when you constantly hear door opening when there’s no one else there to open them?

then they changed

i didn’t hear doors opening anymore

i hear my name

always my name

but it wasn’t the same person saying my name

different people

different tone

different volume

then they changed again

then they became more frequent

it went from an inconvenience to a fear

a fear that if they continue that means i’m getting sicker

a fear that if they continue that means i’m already too sick

a fear that if they continue i’ll be too sick to be loved

this isn’t funny anymore

but was it ever really funny?

[we-create-a-perfect-harmony]

i didnt like when you touched my waist

you never asked if you could touch my waist

i was uncomfortable when you touched my waist

you never asked if you could touch my waist

i felt icky when you touched my waist

you never asked if you could touch my waist

i know it isn’t conventional to ask and you didn’t

you never asked if you could touch my waist

you touching my waist wasn’t inappropriate in regards to societal standards

we were at a school dance

of course you would hold my waist while we dance

of course you would hold my waist while we walked in large crowds so we wouldn’t be separated

but still i didn’t like it

but you wouldn’t know because you didn’t ask

i didn’t register how much i didn’t like it

i didn’t register how uncomfortable it made me

even now i don’t want people to touch my waist

im so jumpy when someone touches my waist

i feel icky when someone touches my waist

i’m reminded of you when someone touches my waist

i hate when people touch my waist because of you

you never asked if you could touch my waist