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The Marvel(ous) Animated GIF’s Of Kerry Callen

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House of X/Powers of X #’s 1 (Theories)

We got some thoughts not all of them strictly “sane”. This post will be spoiler-ific, so not only do we recommend you read these issues first, but we doubt anything we say will make any sense without it and we’re already going to sound crazy as it is. Conspiracies [and SPOILERS] after the jump....

The following is a list of the many theories we have entertained, debated, and obsessed over after issues #1:

The (This Is All A Dream) Theory: Xavier has a very powerful mind, so he probably has very powerful dreams. 

Evidence: This whole enterprise has an undeniable dreamlike quality to it. Many of the key figures in the present timeline appear as what we could imagine are Xavier’s ideal version of them. Jean appears in a costume that she wore previous to her interactions with the Phoenix. Cyclops appears to have a similar vibe to his Utopia incarnation. The point in his life where he embodied the leader Xavier raised him to be, but before he went full rogue terrorist. Magneto plays the role of strong lieutenant, and not unhinged rival. Many other characters appear in their most iconic looks, most of which have been abandoned years ago. 

Other Characters appear out of place in time. A young Moira has the knowledge of an older Moira. A still healthy Magneto appears 100 years into the future, during what appears to be a visit from a 1910s circus in the swinging 60s on the grounds of present-day Charles’ school. Also, they keep referencing dreams and sleep.

Implications if this theory proves true: A dreamscape scenario could result in one of two scenarios. 1. None of this is actually happening, and this series will end in the most cliched fever dream ending ever and infuriate Marvel fans everywhere [Unlikely]. 2. Dreaming Xavier is projecting his will onto every being in this galaxy and mind controlling them into playing out his Utopian nightmare [Horrifying]. 

The (Xavier is Possessed) Theory: Xavier is acting against character because Xavier isn’t home right now. 

Evidence: Hickman has done an excellent job of alluding to important storylines from all era’s of the X-Men. One of the most important involved the reality-warping mutant Proteus. House of X #1 states that Proteus is alive and somewhere on Krakoa (he is listed among the Omega-level Mutants). We also know that Proteus requires a host body. Could that host body be Xavier? The last time Marvel had a big “House of...” event, the world was rocked by another reality-warper (Scarlet Witch). Proteus’s Reality Warping is a (marginally) localized ability, so it makes some sense that he would try and gather all mutants together in a singular location like an island. 

The inclusion of Proteus’ mother, Moira MacTaggert, is also a curious inclusion to the series. 

Finally, it should be noted that Cyclops has already referenced another major reality warping mutant, Franklin Richards, and invited him to Krakoa via his parents (and wasn’t that a dick/power move???). 

Implications if this theory proves true: Proteus is mind controlling all the mutants involved in Krakoa to do his bidding, against their own will. There is already evidence that Jean Grey is fighting that control (if it exists). One of the other Omega-level Mutants are likely to break said control and go rogue, destabilizing Proteus and defeating him, but potentially too late to save them all from the Sentinels.

The (Xavier is Evil) Theory: Xavier’s mind has been tainted by all the evil he has rubbed up against.

Evidence: Over the recent past few years Xavier has 1. Died 2. Had his brain grafted to Red Skull 3. Had his Red Skull brain go full onslaught 4. Been tortured on the Astral Plane by Shadow King  5.Implanted into the body of mutant sentinel Fantomex. That is a whole load of questionable influences before we remember that the Professor was a pretty questionable dude to begin with. 

Implications if this theory proves true: Everyone’s fucked? Everyone’s fucked.

The (That isn’t Xavier!) Theory: That isn’t Xavier under that helmet. 

Evidence: Xavier looks an awful lot like The Maker (the evil Earth-1610 version of Reed Richards) The plan of a contained nation of evolved beings that get further modified is very similar to a plan The Maker tried with some success in the Ultimate (Earth-1610) universe. Xavier is wearing a very Maker-ish helmet. The only non-X characters we have encountered are the Fantastic Four, and we do so in the very first issue with Cyclops trying to lure Franklin to Krakoa. 

Implications if this theory proves true: ???

The (This is a Simulation) Theory: This is all a scenario being run by Karima. 

Evidence: For those of you who don’t know, Karima is both an Omega Sentinel and often an ally to the mutant population. Perhaps this is all a simulation run by Karima to find a solution to the Mutant/Human problem. Perhaps that is why so many characters are acting out of character. Karima is playing out possibilities and not trying to accurately roleplay characters. Likewise Nimrod (who is the basis for her Sentinel programming) is portrayed as almost sympathetic. Karima’s personal conflicts are influencing the simulation creating chains of cascading conflicts and pain. 

Implications if this theory proves true: The futures we see in Power of X will warp and change as events within House of X unfold, much like a time traveler stepping on a butterfly in the past (or Fry becoming his own grandfather).

The (we are going mad) Theory: maybe we are losing it.

Evidence: Our coworkers have no idea what we are ever talking about and the Marvel Wiki is saved to our hotlinks on every computer we touch. 

Implications if this theory proves true: We end up traumatizing at least five children with our insane ranting. 

Have a favorite theory? Did we miss something? Let us know!

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Happy 4th of July

That time Captain Britain and Cyclops fought in the revolutionary war.

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Happy Holidays, everyone! 💕

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I always expected Kraven was too hot for this site.

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Thank You Stan

Stan Lee didn’t just create comics. He created readers. He created writers and artists. He made responsibility cool. He made heroism attainable even for the outcasts and the bookish. He didn’t just write about heroes, he helped us see the hero inside. Thank you Stan. Excelsior!

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MsCaptainWinchester's Pull Box

Spider-Girls because I might not like Jessica Drew, but I'm here for all other Spider ladies

Deadpool needs no explanation.

Fence, the most adorable comic about a fencing school ever. Also so so gay. Just so gay. I adore it.

Runaways because Rainbow Rowell is my Patronus

FUCKING SHATTERSTAR

Spider-geddon because there's now a universe where Peter Parker is a suit full of spiders who think they're Peter Parker. We have reached peek Peter Parker.

Juggernaut, because Juggie

Emma Frost, the badass I wish I was

West Coast Avengers, because Kate is the best Hawkeye, obvs

KRAVEN THE HUNTER KILLED SPIDER-MAN DO I NEED TO SAY MORE

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Get you a ManThing who can do both

Badass Monster who will destroy you for looking at them wrong

Protective mother hen

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Punisher #11

(Badman comes to Monster town)

Synopsis

The whole world is stuck in a F5 shitstorm and nobody is safe. The surface world is being run into the ground by Norman Osborn (who I hear is a very stable genius). Monsteropolis on the other hand is being waylaid by some pseudo cyber samurai fuck boys with a murder boner for monsters. The Punisher aka Frank Castle took a try at taking out Osborn. Problem was, he missed, and when you're hunting Goblins, you better hit what you're aiming for. The result is that Frank got the old slice and dice from Wolverine’s shitty kid, Daken. Frank's remains get dropped in the NYC sewer system and collected by some moloids and their buff plant buddy ManThing. Back in Monsteropolis, Morbius stitches Frank back together in the hopes that Captain Gun Violence can turn the tide in favor of the monsters. The problem is that Frank Castle is not known for being overly reasonable or charitable. The comic ends with Frank walking out of Monster town lookin' like a Smith & Wesson Brand Velveteen Rabbit.

MsCaptainWinchester’s 3 Thoughts

These monsters are so fucking cute, I can't even handle it. I feel like I'm reading a grotesque Hello Kitty spin-off, and I love it. A lot.

The little moloids gathering up all of Punisher's severed body parts like my cats trying to steal cheese from my sandwich off the kitchen table is my favorite thing. They all looked so shocked when the H.A.M.M.E.R. guys found them, but like, not willing to drop the limbs while they run away, because treasure. Morbius obviously promised them treats if they brought back the parts. I hope they got lots of head scritches. 

Every monster who interacts with Frank post-op brings up his family or god or some other major trigger for him, and I feel like they should have known that was a terrible idea. Dude's pretty famous as the dude whose family was slaughtered. Read the room, Werewolf by Night. FFS

9th_Pawn’s 3 Thoughts

The artist draws Morbius as balding, and while living in a sewer city probably isn’t great for scalp health, I really do think he has a mostly full head of hair.

Nice to see Werewolf by Night still getting into dick-measuring contests with barely functional carcasses.

ManThing is infinitly more lovable than Swamp Thing becuase let’s be honest, Man-Thing secretly listens to Ke$ha and Swamp Thing listens to shitty emo.

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Next Up: Frankencastle

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Literally nothing. Neither of them ever show up in the comics again. They're mentioned in an off-hand comment on Civil War, and that's it.

Same.

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fans self

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Else Bloodstone, queen of snark.

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I made a thing at work. Being a librarian is weird sometimes.