whitebellsleuth

[whitebellsleuth]

> Just a note... [FortunesRevolver here~]

I can’t say I’m returning here just yet. I’ve had a lot of issues in the P4 fandom and I’ve run into a lot of hate regarding the fact that I like SoujiNaoto amongst other things (such as popular fights about certain characters.) 

On top of that, I’ve had a lot of life stress (including multiple ER visits, staying overnight in the hospital more than once, two surgeries, and other things) but I want to get out of this rut I’ve been in and get back on track so I can finally return to this blog and roleplay Naoto with all the passion I used to have.

So, as of right now, I am switching this URL to “whitebellsleuth” (another username that I tend to use almost as frequently as FortunesRevolver) and as of right now my personal blog is over at fortunesrevolver. It’s my hope in reclaiming the name and being productive with it that I’ll get out of my slump and be able to get back to where I used to be.

I’m sorry to everyone who has wanted to see more writing, yet I thank each and every follower who has so kindly waited and be patient with me. 

[whitebellsleuth]

Alex-sempai is adorable!

((This is very true. *nods in agreement* Aneki must admit to this more often.))

[whitebellsleuth]

imouto is really cute

((*squints at inbox* You stop that. *grabs broom and pokes with it*))

[whitebellsleuth]

For a moment, Naoto was afraid Noir might have been leaving the room. Not that she could blame her. She'd disappeared for so long without a word, and given how utterly unhelpful the police seemed to have been, she didn't doubt they didn't bother alerting her family that she'd gone mission. How she hadn't ended up on a wanted list or put under suspicion of having joined the very gang she was captured by was almost baffling. It was as if the police force was both brilliant and dim-witted at the same time.

"Half of a whole or not..." Naoto began as she stood up, "that does not excuse me from disappearing and showing up again without warning with no explanation. I might not have been able to control the circumstances... but you deserve to know something. What better than fact and the truth?"' Explaining to Noir had been decidedly easier than trying to explain all that happened to her grampa. He didn't know of the TV World or anything inside it, and trying to prove such a thing might have caused more trouble than offering a kinder lie. While she still wasn't certain he believed her, she was grateful he'd left it where it was. 

At least a small weight felt as if it had been lifted when she was able to explain to someone.

With slow, careful movements, Naoto made her way forward. She'd only caught a glimpse of it as she'd looked up, but there was no mistaking the shade of yellow she saw. It was different than Noir's normal eyes, and something that filled her stomach with a tense unease. The first time she'd only caught a glimpse of the glow, only to pass out shortly after, but as threatening as it had been before, something about it now just seemed... painful.

Raising her hand slowly, she pressed a slender finger against the brim of Noir's cap and pushed, peering into the other's face. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Naoto faintly hoped she'd simply imagined the whole thing, but the brighter yellow glow was still there and she let the hat fall with a soft sigh as her forehead touched down on Noir's shoulder. "...Regardless of everything, I'm sorry you were left for so long. I should have had the sense to try and contact you in the TV World... but all I could focus on was escape. I might have been home sooner if I'd tried."

Noir listens, which was a comparably easier job. She stores information, recording everything from Naoto’s lips. Somewhere during her explanation, Noir herself realize she also need to explain something to the detective, about what happened here while she was away. But that’s for another time, she looks so exhausted.

And rightfully so, Noir supplied to herself, her hand remain still in Naoto’s to give whatever strength or support there was from such a simple contact. The idea was still unreal, but with the ‘why’ explained away, it was easier to make sense of it. Now comes the hard part, the ‘what now’ part. Horrifying as the story has been, Noir couldn’t shake of the feeling of disappointment at herself. Naoto had been in the TV world? And she can’t tell?

The Shadow don’t want to think why she wouldn’t have felt it at all, especially if Naoto had summoned her Persona in there. The pull should still be there, she should be able to recognize she was there. A neat little theory makes itself known: maybe she wasn’t aware because she wasn’t capable of awareness then.

But again, that’s for another day. The moment is now and it’s time to focus. With a sigh, Noir breaks away from where she sat by her feet and climbed to her own. She took two steps away from the chair, turned around and tipped her hat back, her right eye glow softly, but her left flickered on like a light bulb. In her eye, she can see data, things she’s looking for.

"You’re exhausted, but physically fine." Noir spoke at last, but in a dull monotone like she’s reading a report. "Your brainwave is going haywire, indicating high distress."

And after a moment more, she tilt her hat back on her head. “You didn’t have to explain what happened to me. I would’ve trusted you no matter what.” And something of a tiny smile twitch at the corners of her lips, her voice dropping back to something like a low whisper in the silence of the room. “After all, you’re my other self. If I have to trust just one person in this world, it’s you.”

[whitebellsleuth]

Hey Naoto, what do Nanako and Detective Doujima think of your relationship with Souji?

If I'm to be honest, I've not yet had time to sit down with Dojima-san and speak with him about the situation seriously. It seems one of us is almost always busy when the other has time, and anytime we are able to see one another, it is almost always during an event that involves both Nanako-chan and Souji-kun.

However, Nanako-chan has been most welcoming and has offered her approval more than once. It is something I'm most grateful for.

[whitebellsleuth]

OMG UR BACK

((I... yes. Yes I am. Somewhat. I'm still recovering from surgery so it's a slow process, but... yes?))

[whitebellsleuth]

Have heard of a girl named Noel Vermillion or Makoto? Noel is hard to place, but Makoto, Makoto is comparable to Chie.

I believe they are characters in a fighting game Yosuke-san plays. Though if Makoto is the one I am thinking of... I can understand the similarities between Chie-san and Makoto.

[whitebellsleuth]

I'm a huge fan of yours. You've inspired me to be myself. Thank you Miss Shirogane

If I was able to offer some comfort or inspiration, than I am glad I was able to do so. I can only hope that you will continue to follow in your path and not falter. I have learned well that being myself, even while it might be difficult at times, has ultimately offered the best outcomes in the end.

[whitebellsleuth]

[whitebellsleuth]

(It might take me a few days to reply to anything... or start things. I have a few posts in-queue, but recent surgery makes it much harder to focus than I would have initially though. Here's hoping I recover faster than planned...)

[whitebellsleuth]

It seems they're dumbing down the Suzuki Hayabusa again this year, Shirogane-san. Top Speed and lack of brakes made it into the 2013 on model.

Well, it is to be expected, I suppose... I don't see this as a lasting problem. I have no doubt that Noir and I will be able to solve the issue should it become one.

[whitebellsleuth]

Naoto, what is your view on vigilantes?

You ask a loaded question...

While I do believe that most without legal training and authority cannot always provide the right answer, I also believe that law enforcement can be wrong. It is a slippery slope when one considers what a vigilante can and cannot do, and what an officer can and cannot do. I can easily consider and understand arguments for and against the position, but when I look at it myself... I do not know.

I think it is very possible for a "vigilante" to impede and investigation much more than they could help it. Despite their assumed to be good intentions, it is a problem when evidence must be labelled as unusable due to the actions of someone acquiring it illegally. Not to mention it is possible someone may end up hurt or indisposed because of their actions. Again, this is also a possibility with law enforcement; I by no means believe they are all saints.

Even as a freelance detective, my authority is limited, and in that sense, some might call me a "glorified vigilante" though I would thank them not to. I believe the two are as different as a vigilante and an authorised officer of the law, but I digress. It is difficult to point at the meaning of the word and claim all that associate with it are bad or wrong. Ultimately, I think it comes down to the actions of an individual.

That aside... I can't offer a single answer. There are those who act as vigilante properly; but at the same time, their actions can also impede and ultimately ruin an investigation. While I have been in the situation where I had acted as one before myself, I do not recommend the lifestyle.

[whitebellsleuth]

Do you believe that there might be other persona users out there? If necessary would you come to their aid if shadows were involved?

Assuming their motives were not undesirable for the greater good, I see no reason why myself or any of the others could not offer those like ourselves assistance. It would ultimately depend on if we were located somewhere that allowed us to do so.

[whitebellsleuth]

Tearing her flickering gaze away from the window, Naoto looked down at the hand on her pants. Her mouth worked back into a wry smile as she lifted her own hand, hesitating briefly. Be it that she was seeking comfort of her own or hoping to offer it, she didn't know, but her hand fell gently over Noir's and she could only hope it wouldn't be slapped away.

"I'd said in the note I left you I wouldn't be in contact for a few weeks if the case wouldn't allow it. They'd intended for me to go undercover. They didn't have officer who were young enough to play the part, and most of their faces in the area were too well-known to work..." she paused, sighing as she played the events that had lead up to everything over in her mind. "I was called in on a whim of their's at best. I was foreign and a face not known in the country. They sent me in as an 'exchange student' at a local university and I was meant to work from there."

In truth, the case itself had been going quite well. Much to Naoto's surprise, the cover had been intended for a male officer, but having played the part before and convinced an entire country that she was male, it hadn't been a difficult role to play. The sudden cut-off from her outside connections had been difficult, especially after she'd formed a handful of close bonds, being unable to reach out for them was more difficult than she'd anticipated. But she hadn't expected it to last long. Especially not as long as it had.

"Everything was going well... so we'd assumed. I found the suspect I was supposed to be befriending and perusing. I'd made my way into their inner circle, and while it worked up to a point... something went wrong. The culprit they'd wanted to capture was in something much deeper than any of us could have ever imagined." She hesitated again, not sure if she wanted to elaborate on everything she'd stumbled into. It was grotesque; a world she'd taken the role of the detective to stop, not be part of. "...imagine something akin to the yazuka. That might be the simplest way of explaining what they were; they had a strong hold on the underground markets as well. I was never trained for any of this, and when delivering one of my reports I was careless... and caught."

Trailing off, Naoto's hand tightened unconsciously as she remembered what had happened. It was almost like being captured by Namatame again. Though where he'd been careful not to cause more harm than necessary, the group in question had had no qualms about forcing her into submission. Her head still throbbed whenever she thought about the blow that left her unconscious.

"When I came to, I was in a room. I had no idea where I was or where they'd taken me, but as one would assume they'd taken precautions to tie me down. There were no windows, and all my mobile devices had been stripped of my person. I can't say for certain how long I'd been trapped with them, just that I was fed twice, but there was no pattern to the time of meals. They didn't want me to know how long I'd been there. I tried to estimate, but the best I could manage was close to two weeks. After the first few days... it was much harder." 

It had been terrifying beyond belief, counting seconds to minutes in her mind and trying to establish some form of solid ground to stand on. Torture had, surprisingly, not been one of their tactics, so she could only assume information hadn't been what they were after. Guards only spoke to her when she was given food and when it was being picked up, and three times a day she would be escorted to a bathroom. As minimalist as it was, their efforts to keep her alive were a double-edged blade; terrifying because she had no idea what their game was, but comforting in the sense of not standing quite so close to the edge of a slow, painful death.

"I was in a room for a long time. Sleeping and meals are all I really remember... they were the only consistency I could make for myself. I was always blind-folded if they took me out, and I could never heard sounds distinct enough to figure out where I was." Pausing, Naoto shut her eyes as she inhaled shakily. What had happened next was an accident at best; had she not been given the slim window of chance, she'd likely still be with her captors. "One of the guards made a mistake once; they didn't tie my blindfold tight enough and it slipped down. Before they could fix it, I saw some form of break room down the hall... and a television. It was a foolish, ridiculous choice to make, but it was all I had. I ran for the screen and... obviously they couldn't follow me inside. Had any of them managed to grab me before I'd gone through completely..." She shook her head, not wanting to imagine it. Even if she would had had the advantage of Persona in the TV World, she wouldn't have had the proper strength to take them on in a fight for long; not with as exhausted as her holding had left her.

"I had no idea where I'd landed... but at least I was safe. I must have fallen asleep, but when I came to I was... in a field of some kind. It was old and the plants were dried out, but it wasn't infested with any reformed Shadows. I'd guess it was still somewhere unaffected by the peace we'd managed to bring a year ago. But... once I'd gathered my strength back, Yamato-Sumeragi was able to cut my bonds free and from there... I simply searched for a way back home." Walking day in and out had been taxing on her body and mind. Most directions looked completely the same, and they'd never explored enough of the TV World to find land markers that made sense -- most of the 'locations' they'd spent a year exploring had disappeared along with the majority of Shadows with the goddess they'd confronted.

"I couldn't create exits like Teddie or sense where they were like Rise... so I just kept moving. I rested where and when I could... then kept moving Yamato-Sumeragi's magic was enough to give me quick escapes when I needed them, but..." she shook her head again. She'd had no idea she had been inside the TV World for so long. The time distortion had been much greater than she'd ever expected, and it was a small miracle in and of itself she'd managed to convince law enforcement she had no memory of what had happened. The entire case had been a mess, but they'd captured their mark, and it seemed to be enough for them. "A number of plants in the TV World were surprisingly sustainable, and some locations had sustenance that proved useful for eating, but... given where I was, I didn't experience hunger or thirst often. ...I still don't know how I made it out -- all of it blurs together after some time. I just... remember stumbling across an area that looked like the outskirts of a city near Inaba and now..." Now I'm here... she finished silently, staring at the floor.

A part of her doesn’t want to know, she just wants to let loose everything she had kept bottled up since she was gone. The other, bigger, part of her scold her for such childish and immature thought, so she bite her cheek and kept quiet, even when Naoto comment about her upset.

It’s for the best, Noir thinks, watching as Naoto tiredness seems to just grow with each passing second. She’s still not sure how to approach her. It simply has been too long since she’s within contact with her other self. Their link still exists, fainter than it has ever been before, but still there, vaguely allowing Noir to feel what the detective feels. Inwardly, Noir herself flinch too. That’s not a way to greet someone you had been waiting months, maybe even a year or two for.

So she slowly reaches up and wrap her fingers around Naoto’s pants, feels the rough fabric on her finger tips. It’s not much, it’ll do for now. A little request, or is it permission?, for Naoto to continue. After all, physical contact was hard to come by these days and she has long since forgotten how to touch something without breaking them.

[whitebellsleuth]

"Then in other words..." Naoto hummed, "you're 'playing hooky' as Yosuke-san would put it." As much as she disapproved, she'd missed a number of class periods on her own. Being able to work more frequently with law enforcement was a blessing she'd never looked down upon, but it had proven to be stressful for her studies. "And I'd thought you were a senior, Souji-kun. You're setting a poor example for younger students."

As much as the words sounded like a reprimand, she had intending to be teasing. Naoto knew well that she was not the only one guilty of encouraging such tactics to see their former 'leader' again. Even if one took the investigations into account, there was no denying Souji had a gift and he'd shared it with so many. "You realise if you show up... I won't be the only one who wishes to see you. While I am tempted to answer to my selfishness and keep your visit a secret, it wouldn't be fair to our friends."

The idea of damage control almost made her laugh. She'd seen some of Souji's paranoid tactics before, but they were as ridiculous as much as they were a comfort. He really had no reason to be so worried about everything. She hadn't intended to accept chocolates from anyone, as per usual, unless perhaps from close friends.

"I should know better than to omit anything from a professional detective," chuckled Souji softly. "I just finished my final exams and pretty much guaranteed to graduate, so I’m willing to make a few sacrifices for a day to ourselves. Besides, I’m no stranger to skipping school if a good cause is involved."

Souji looked out his own window, the moon partially obscured by a highrise apartment building. He found himself missing the days when he could actually look up at the night sky and see the stars with perfect clarity - perhaps because those days were the ones he spent so much time with Naoto…

"I know you will possibly disapprove, but… I miss you. And I want to be there for you on that day, especially if being with me will help simplify matters and ‘control the damage others might cause,’ you might say." The last thing Naoto needed was her shoebox stuffed full of honmei-choco, after all.

[whitebellsleuth]

What was your wedding day like Naoto?

What... what on earth are you talking about? A wedding? That's--I'm still too young to even consider partaking in such a ceremony, and Souji and I--we're not... Our relationship isn't far enough for that. Not remotely close.

[whitebellsleuth]

(I'll be bowing out early tonight; I have to get up with the sun tomorrow. The city inspectors are coming. Such joy, such rapture. I can't wait.

But I'd like to thank everyone who has followed me today... I didn't expect anyone to really care for my return save for two friends. So thank you, truly.)