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Hey, so we’re not doing great rn.

We are detoxing, and it’s proving to be a living hell that we just can’t handle by ourselves.

Carrion will be our new fronter for the next few weeks. This alter is convinced our body is dead and decaying. I’m making people aware because idk if he will choose to post or say things or not, and I wanna do potential damage control ahead of time.

Maybe nothing will happen and I’m just embarrassing myself here.

But anyway…

Please don’t reality check him. He is not delusional, despite whatever he might say. This is how he copes. He is taking care of our body as we detox because he can psychologically tolerate the symptoms and cares deeply about our body… even if the reasoning behind it is a little weird.

Just… be kind. Or block me for a bit. Idk. I really don’t know what to expect or how to take responsibility for this while I’m not here, but I don’t want to relapse or do something worse as symptoms progress, so this is what we are doing instead.

Sorry in advance… or not sorry if he literally posts and does nothing. idk. I’m literally so miserable that it’s hard for me to say that in a way I mean genuinely in this moment, but I’ll mean it when I feel better.

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refusing to pick a side or being unable to does not necessarily make you "complicit" or mean you are "basically sided with the 'bad' guys." it takes more for that to actually apply. it also takes both sides not being awful

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Ah, yes, the infamous “why the theory of structural dissociation is ableist.” Another perfect example that I forgot about.

Reblogging for reach.

Here we go again with people interacting with my blog insisting that traumagenic systems or people who have a CDD that internalize harmful ideas about systemhood and misunderstand ISSTD treatment guidelines are bigots.

I need to make a post about this and break it down.

Internalized bigotry can cause harm, for sure. Everyone internalizes bigoted ideas and unintentionally perpetuates them at some point in their life. But there’s a line between someone having internalized harmful ideas and them being a bigot.

Calling traumatized systems… who are also navigating systems of oppression and misunderstood clinical models… bigots… because they’re repeating host-centric or singlet-normative frameworks, is inaccurate, and makes it harder for us to address those ideas without alienating the people often most affected by them… which is traumatized systems and people with CDDs. I hate to break it to you.

Bigots are people who actively and knowingly work to suppress or erase others’ existence. Often from a place of privilege or power. That’s not the same as someone who’s internalized inaccurate interpretations of medical models or treatment guidelines, or is trying to make sense of their experience through the only lens they’ve been handed. Even when it causes others harm. They don’t have the privilege or power to actually oppress people on the basis of plurality alone. At most, they can be bullies and assholes about it, or attack you from a different place where they do have privilege and power.

These ideas need to be challenged. I’m not saying we shouldn’t challenge them. But we can’t do that by screaming at each other and calling each other bigots when we are all oppressed and spreading harmful or bigoted ideas of our own without even realizing. Yes, including you, non-traumatized plurals and endogenic systems. Do not forget our dark roots and how past ideas are still pervasive even today.

Many of the people repeating host-centric and singlet-normative (please give me a better word if you have one) views are also CDD systems, also marginalized, also mentally ill, also neurodivergent, and also likely to be institutionalized, denied care, demonized, or made invisible. We can fight for our visibility and rights without writing off survivors and marginalized people as our enemies.

If we want actual change, we need accountability. But we also need more compassion and nuance. And we need the ability to meet people where they are. We have to hold space for the difference between systemic conditioning and willful ideological harm. We have to stop watering down terms like bigot and fascist and terfs by lumping in oppressed people with them and throwing them under the bus.

Sincerely,

A traumaendo system.

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Here we go again with people interacting with my blog insisting that traumagenic systems or people who have a CDD that internalize harmful ideas about systemhood and misunderstand ISSTD treatment guidelines are bigots.

I need to make a post about this and break it down.

Internalized bigotry can cause harm, for sure. Everyone internalizes bigoted ideas and unintentionally perpetuates them at some point in their life. But there’s a line between someone having internalized harmful ideas and them being a bigot.

Calling traumatized systems… who are also navigating systems of oppression and misunderstood clinical models… bigots… because they’re repeating host-centric or singlet-normative frameworks, is inaccurate, and makes it harder for us to address those ideas without alienating the people often most affected by them… which is traumatized systems and people with CDDs. I hate to break it to you.

Bigots are people who actively and knowingly work to suppress or erase others’ existence. Often from a place of privilege or power. That’s not the same as someone who’s internalized inaccurate interpretations of medical models or treatment guidelines, or is trying to make sense of their experience through the only lens they’ve been handed. Even when it causes others harm. They don’t have the privilege or power to actually oppress people on the basis of plurality alone. At most, they can be bullies and assholes about it, or attack you from a different place where they do have privilege and power.

These ideas need to be challenged. I’m not saying we shouldn’t challenge them. But we can’t do that by screaming at each other and calling each other bigots when we are all oppressed and spreading harmful or bigoted ideas of our own without even realizing. Yes, including you, non-traumatized plurals and endogenic systems. Do not forget our dark roots and how past ideas are still pervasive even today.

Many of the people repeating host-centric and singlet-normative (please give me a better word if you have one) views are also CDD systems, also marginalized, also mentally ill, also neurodivergent, and also likely to be institutionalized, denied care, demonized, or made invisible. We can fight for our visibility and rights without writing off survivors and marginalized people as our enemies.

If we want actual change, we need accountability. But we also need more compassion and nuance. And we need the ability to meet people where they are. We have to hold space for the difference between systemic conditioning and willful ideological harm. We have to stop watering down terms like bigot and fascist and terfs by lumping in oppressed people with them and throwing them under the bus.

Sincerely,

A traumaendo system.

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Anyone else struggle to participate in syscourse because they have an irrational fear of being dogpiled for unintentionally saying the wrong thing or not being clear enough with their wording?

I know logically that I don’t have to explain everything to death, and that it’s okay to be wrong, and that you should be open to criticism… but istg I have a mini heart-attack anytime I get a tumblr notification it’s not even funny.

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I started doing this the moment I entered the school system and now I can’t step inside any school without feeling physically ill.

There's a bunch of adhd advice out there that's like "people with adhd tend to work better under deadlines due to the anxiety so here are ways to artificially induce a stress response in order to get you to get work done" and it's like well what if I don't want to be stressed out all the time in order to function

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I’m so tired…

please…

stop comparing traumagens, people with CDDs, and anti endos to bigots and terfs for being moderately mean or misinformed or biased… unless they are actually being a bigot or a terf. I just see this so often and it frustrates me at this point.

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Can we please stop comparing misinformed or rigid people in plural and CDD/traumagen spaces to actual bigots and TERFs?

It’s disgusting, and it disgusts me.

Not only have you flattened a complex issue I was trying to communicate somewhat poetically, but you also fundamentally misunderstand the difference between someone internalizing host-centric/singlet views versus actively working to erase people’s rights or existence. TERFs put their money, politics, and organizing into causing harm. The people I was talking about do not.

What I was talking about was the pervasive social and medical assumption that there’s only one mind, one “true self,” one set of stable, non-conflicting identities. This gets internalized by everyone. Including endogenic plurals. It’s not just people with CDDs or traumagens. Even some clinicians treat fusion or clear host identity as the only legitimate path. It’s systemic.

The spaces I was talking about weren’t filled with people denying my existence or actively attacking plurality. What they were doing was defaulting to frameworks that center singularity, unintentionally or non-maliciously.

That’s what I was critiquing. I was critiquing the pressure to present as a cohesive, consolidated “you.” The assumption of one clear identity or one front, even in spaces that claim to support or center systems.

I am a traumaendo system who VERY likely has a CDD. Our system doesn’t have a consistent fronter or host, and our splitting patterns are complex and disablingly frequent when under stress. Because of the way we chose to cope and help increase functionality while reducing suffering… we don’t have a single host, we have a high headcount, we have pretty strong identity barriers, and we simply just don’t fit the tidy expectations that some other systems find comfort in.

The way we approach the treatment of our system and our trauma is different from western medical frameworks, and is a lot more holistic and worked into my Buddhist practices… and that’s okay. But when we show up in CDD spaces that expect clarity, hierarchy, and collective identity, this is what happens.

And yes, those attitudes often come from within traumagenic spaces. That doesn’t mean those people are anti-plural or bigoted or just hate plural people. It often comes from a place of fear or trauma. Many people are only familiar with one framework for understanding systems: one that’s hierarchical or host-centered or western or very clinical. That framework might be all they’ve had to cope, and it might actually work very well for them. But it doesn’t make them “terf adjacent.” What it does make them is traumatized and trying to heal within a framework that works for them. Unfortunately, it’s just not one that worked for me.

Many systems with CDDs or trauma… including me… are in constant survival mode. That can make it harder to sit with or identities that don’t quite fit what they know. I know this because I’ve lived that too. We didn’t always see ourselves as equally real either. Denial is a big part of having a CDD, and that often includes not acknowledging that you’re an alter just like everyone else. It took a long time for me to understand that “the host” (if you could even call ours that) wasn’t inherently more legitimate than the rest of us. Just more visible. So when I see others still tangled up in that fear, I try to have compassion because I have been there. It’s terrifying, and not something most endogenic plurals without a CDD can understand.

There’s also just a lot of misinformation about the treatment of CDDs in general that leads to a lot of this. I highly recommend reading the ISSTD treatment guidelines for DID:

And also keep a lookout for an updated one seemingly coming soon (?)(maybe it’s already here and I just can’t find it):

It is entirely possible to critique the dominance of host-centric frameworks and singlet expectations in plural and CDD/traumagen spaces without implying that anyone who uses or clings to those frameworks is evil, hateful, or a bigot.

And lastly, I ask that anyone engaging with my posts avoid weaponizing real-world oppressive comparisons… like to TERFs, fascists, or others against other neurodivergent, queer, or traumatized people. If anyone else repeats this kind of behavior towards my traumagen/CDDs siblings, I'm blocking them. No exceptions, no excuses. I’m not tolerating it, and I don’t wanna see it in my reblogs again.

“What is your system name/collective name?”

“What is your collective gender?”

“What is your collective stance on [thing]?”

Idk stop it!!! We don’t have one!!! Just ask for names and pronouns!!! We are many with various viewpoints!!!

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I think this is exactly what that is. Which is weird, considering these are all questions I have been asked in plural or otherwise traumagenic-centric system spaces.

I especially get told “you are all parts of one whole.”

Every time, I ask, “who do you mean when you say ‘you’? Who is ‘you’?” And then I get looked at funny and called difficult and stubborn.

But I think it’s a valid question.

Some people reply with “the host” or “you, who is fronting now,” and also, “the one who has been here the longest,” and I still get confused because a lot of us are conscious and experiencing the world at the same time, and we have been since the beginning. There’s no true host or singular headmate fronting at any given moment.

So then I ask again, “who is ‘you’?”

Then people get frustrated with me, and they’ll say some variation of “alters are not separate people,” once it clicks what I’m trying to imply… but I don’t like what they are implying either. Yes, we have fragments and incomplete parts, but a lot of us are whole. We don’t need a singular “you”, and we don’t want one.

We have worked very hard to build senses of identity and fullness so we can function and suffer less. To imply that none of us are whole and that we are all fragmented and need to come together to form a singular “you” is a little offensive and counter-productive for us.

We recognize we all share a body and a brain, and are one entity from a legal standpoint, but that does mean we are all one. We collaborate, make compromises, and care for one another within this shared space that is our brain and body. We take accountability for our actions and hold each other accountable because what one of us does affects all of us.

Anyway, we do technically have a collective “singletsona” we use when interacting with the world, but we don’t wanna continue to use it in system spaces where it’s less weird to be multiple, damn it!

“What is your system name/collective name?”

“What is your collective gender?”

“What is your collective stance on [thing]?”

Idk stop it!!! We don’t have one!!! Just ask for names and pronouns!!! We are many with various viewpoints!!!

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Okay cool I am intersex and I am allowed to identify as such

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Sorry why are you spreading misinformation about pcos? Pcos isn't an intersex condition while some people with pcos may have an intersex condition they aren't one and the same at all. Growing excess facial hair has nothing to do with your sexual organs

intersexuality is not exclusively about sexual organs. hyperandrogenism has long been considered intersex because it greatly affects secondary sex characteristics. it's a major feature of several other intersex variations.

interACT includes PCOS as an intersex variation. are you really going to argue with a widely respected intersex activist organization because you're a little gatekeepy piece of shit???

there are also plenty of intersex variations that don't involve sex organs. you're ignorant as fuck and don't know what intersex means.

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I have never considered identifying as human otherhearted, but how you describe it also describes me.

Is it just me, but does anyone else also identify as.. human otherhearted? Would that be called it? I am not a human, but from my point of view — humankind is quite interesting, and silly, and weird. I have human friends and I have human sysmates, and I have grown to know humans, but I do not identify as one. Just *with* humans. They are odd creatures and I would love to bond with them.

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reblog if you're traumaendo and you feel alone in the system community.

the point of this is to see how many people feel similarly.