nixster627 - Tumblr blog

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Wei Wuxian: You can't be mad at me!

Jiang Cheng: I still feel pretty mad.

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Wei Wuxian: Mark the date Huaisang, May 18th, 4PM.

Nie Huaisang: Oh, honey... we are well into October.

Wei Wuxian: Really?

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Lan Wangji: I'm at family dinner and you're on speaker phone so behave.

Wei Wuxian: Or what, you'll spank me?

Lan Qiren: *about to qi deviate*

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Lan Xichen: Do you mind if I slyly mention you are single?

Lan Wangji: Don't do that.

Lan Xichen: Don't worry, you won't even notice.

Wei Wuxian, entering: Xichen-xiong, why did you want to see me?

Lan Xichen: Wangji is single!

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Wei Wuxian: Ducklings I'll be honest, daddy's about to kill himself.

Lan Sizhui: ...

Lan Jingyi: ...

Jin Ling: ...You are not my father.

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I always hear people on the mdzs fandom talking about how Jiang yanli’s weapon is listed as “soup” at the end but nobody talks about some of the other funny ones. “Long lectures and Closed book exams” are listed for lan qiren. “Hooves, teeth and raw fury” are listed for little apple. “Claws, jaws and the only brain in the room (usually)” is listed for fairy!!! I’m sorry but that is arguably much more hilarious than “soup”. Pics if you didn’t believe me:

More you probably missed:

A-Qing : street smarts

Ouyang zizhen: a sentimental heart

Wen chao: bigger, stronger people to hide behind

Wen Qing: a steady hand and an endless supply of acupuncture needles

Honorable mentions:

Nie huaisang: unnamed saber (ostensibly), crying (actually)

Wen Ning: fists, feet and metal chains

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Wei Wuxian: What do you do if a stranger says "hey little boy, do you want to see the puppies in my car?"

Lan Jingyi: Yep!

Wei Wuxian: No.

Lan Sizhui: Yes, please?

Wei Wuxian: No!

Jin Ling: Oui.

Wei Wuxian: Don't change the language.

Ouyang Zizhen: You say "okay"

Wei Wuxian: No! You say "no"!

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Wei Wuxian: Oh no! Jing Zixuan isn't here. Who will I bully now?

Wen Ning: You can bully me!

Wei Wuxian: *dramatic gasp* I would never!

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The backstory that I want to know the most from MDZS is Madam Lan. I have so many questions about how that story went.

Why did she kill the teacher? I doubt it was just a fun little murder she committed cause if it was then they never would have let her live let alone let her children be the heirs of the sect. Plus a woman killing a man in a position of power is usually for a good reason.

If she and Qingheng-jun were in seclusion in different houses, how did Wangji and Xichen come about? Like did they have conjugal visits with each other or something? Was it only because Qingheng-jun needed and heir? If so, why was Wangji also allowed to be born?

How did she die? Was it suicide because she was confined to a home and only allowed to see her children once a month? Did she get sick?

Why were her children only allowed to see her once a month? That is a really long time to go in between visits especially for kids who were probably taken away from her right after being born.

I just think there is a lot about her that needs to be explained.

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Wei Wuxian: Happy birthday!

Wen Ning: If only the day were actually happy.

Wei Wuxian: ...But you are our sunshine baby.

Wei Wuxian: If you are depressed what hope is there for the rest of us?

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Wei Wuxian: I just figured something out. I gotta go!

Nie Huaisang: Aren't you forgetting something?

Wei Wuxian: Uh... *kisses Huaisang's forehead and leaves*

Nie Huaisang: No! Pay your bill!

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Jiang Cheng: You could have died man!

Wei Wuxian: I wasn't hurt that badly.

Wei Wuxian: The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood is supposed to be!

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If WWX calls LWJ "daddy" then does that also make LWJ "the yiling grandfather"?

Lan "the yiling patriarch calls me Daddy" Zhan

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Wei Wuxian: Why do I feel like I haven't seen you in a while?

Jiang Cheng: Because every time I have been home this past week you have been asleep no matter what time it is.

Wei Wuxian: Wow! I didn't realize the depression had hit that hard yet.

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Nie Huaisang: Hi, welcome to our restaurant.

Jiang Cheng: I would like to ask about the menu please?

Nie Huaisang: Well, that's not your business but they seem pretty satisfied.

Jiang Cheng: ...

Nie Huaisnag: Oh you meant-

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Jiang Cheng: What do you think Wei Wuxian will do as a distraction?

Nie Huaisang: He’ll probably make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Nie Huaisang: Or he could do that.

Wei Wuxian, who has been standing behind them the whole time without them knowing: This was an even better distraction though right?