04ira

[04ira]

invisible string h.rj

how life is with bff Renjun :’)

warnings: none. fluff w/ a little bit of angst

note: not proof read bare w me 😔☝🏻

Renjun have been your friend for 15 years. Both of you grew up together, basically spent half of your life with him. You were used to people assuming that you guys are dating, and both of you usually doesn’t care.

Even your and his friends ships the both of you, sometimes even questions if you guys are really just friends. Because who the hell cancels a blind date just to go grocery shopping with his bestfriend?? who the hell leaves on a clubbing night with his friends because you were craving mcdonalds????

Renjun Huang. Renjun Huang would do that. He was always one call away. He’s always ready to drop everything when it comes to you, and sometimes you wonder “why is he like this?” but you know…. maybe it was an act of kindness..? since you’re his bestfriend for 15 years. You can’t be falling for this can you??

9:35 AM

Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard someone open your bedroom door.

It was Renjun.

“You’re awake. Let’s eat, i cooked breakfast”

He always do this too. It’s like you get a bestfriend premium package. Renjun goes to your dorm every weekends to apparently spend time with his 15 years bestfriend. This only happened recently though. Since his university was far from yours, he came up with this idea to hang out every weekend to stay connected and relevant to each other.

“Will you stop typing on your phone and actually eat and talk to me?” Renjun said while looking at you annoyed because he was blabbering already about his week only to realize you weren’t listening.

“Sorry, i was talking to my friends.” You reasoned, but you were actually tweeting in your private account freaking out because you were still not used to this set up.

“You’re talking to your friends while your bestfriend HERE for 15 YEARS is staring at you because you were supposed to spend time with him and not let him watch you talk to others.”

Rj said completely annoyed. You laughed at his half annoyed half sulking face. You said you’re sorry and actually talked to him happily.

10:28 AM

Both of you finished breakfast and went to watch a movie in your living room. At first, you guys argued about what genre of the movie will be. You wanted to watch a horror movie but he said it was too early for that and suggested watching romance movie instead.

You ended up agreeing with him and both decided to watch Titanic. You guys were halfway through the movie and this isn’t the first time both of you watched this movie. But you hated him and yourself for choosing this movie

because now you’re actually fucking crying at 11:30 AM. Seriously? WHY would you be crying at 11 freaking am??

You’re sitting in the couch laying your head in Renjun’s chest sobbing and crying your heart out while munching your popcorn while Renjun was laughing at your crying face. This isn’t the first time he sees you crying, he just finds it amusing that you really do cry because of a movie.

01:18 PM

You were sound asleep in Renjun’s chest. Tired from all the crying and you were comfortable leaning on his chest. He only stared at you, wiping the dried tears on your face and sometimes giggles everytime he remembers your crying face. He lets you sleep on his chest and slept on his own.

03:10 PM

You woke up without Renjun beside you. You checked your phone notifications and saw his message that said he was buying ingredients for dinner and that he couldn’t wake you up because you were sleeping peacefully. You smiled at his thoughtfulness. You’d be lying if you say that you don’t think about if you guys were something else. But you already accepted that you guys were only bestfriends long time ago.

You liked him back in 7th grade until 9th grade. You only acted as his friend though. You didn’t try sending signals and making a move, you knew he didn’t look at you and think of you that way. He would tell you about girls he like and his type, you would do the same but the difference is you actually talk about him. He just doesn’t know.

7th grade.

It’s monday. You were seating next to the window in your classroom, watching sport players training in the field while listening to music playing in your airpods. You felt someone seat next to you, but didn’t bother looking because you already knew it was Renjun. He would always do this during class break and annoy you, but this time, he didn’t do anything but actually just sat next to you while reading a book you recommended him a week ago.

You looked at him, he suddenly looked different…? Him actually focused in reading a book and his hair styled differently than usual…made you think he looked different..

of course, he looked different. He changed his hairstyle to the hairstyle you also recommended to him a week ago saying that it would look good in him. You weren’t aware that him changing his hairstyle would also make your feelings for him change.

8th grade.

Today was nothing different from your other school days. You went to class, studied future lessons in the library after and now you’re going home. Went to the convenience store first to buy ice cream and eat it while walking home.

You were walking home when you walk past your village’s park. You saw a figure that looked familiar with another figure that also looked familiar.

It was Renjun. With your class muse…?

They were talking. Renjun was saying something while she was only smiling at him and listening. Renjun pulled her into a hug.

And she hugs him back. She was the girl Renjun was talking about days ago. She’s pretty, smart, sporty, and kind. Totally his type.

Did he confess? Did she say yes?

The ice cream you were eating melts as your heart also breaks. Salty tears were about to fall so you walked fast while trying to stop yourself from crying. So many thoughts was running into your mind. “Why am i crying? why does it hurt? I’m only his bestfriend.”

“What am i gonna say when he tells me about this?”

You finally got up to your room, went straight to your bed to cry your heart out. You already put your phone on dnd to avoid receiving calls and messages from him. And to also distance yourself from everyone. You would just make up an excuse tomorrow why you weren’t able to answer his calls and messages.

9th grade.

It was thursday. You were eating with your other friends at your school watching the sport players train in the field. They were blabbering about their crushes when they asked you “What about you? Are you interested in someone?” Your friend asked smiling.

You smiled back, bittersweet smile. “No, i’m not interested on someone right now.” Your other friend suddenly giggled. “Are you sure? because the first time i saw you, you were with a guy! A little too close with him to only just be friends.” She was a transferee. She didn’t know much about my friendship with Renjun.

You and your friend also laughed.

“That was her childhood bestfriend, dummy!” Your friend butted in. You watched her mouth form an 0 shape and smiled apologetically.

You smiled back. You were used to people mistaking your relationship with Renjun.

But it’s true. You guys were a little too close to each other especially now that he has a girlfriend. And so you’ve decided to avoid him. It’s been 2 weeks actually, going 3 weeks. You haven’t talked to him, not even a single word.

You weren’t replying to his messages, he was restricted from all of your social media accounts and you also avoid bumping into him at school. Though, he tries to talk to you at school but during lunch break he would always be with his girlfriend or his bball team after class.

But today you saw him walking from the other side of the field. Your friends were talking to each other and you were staring at him, it was lunch break. He’s with his girlfriend. Of course.

He saw you. He waved. You also waved back.

Maybe it was time to stop avoiding him and let him go. You thought that it was immature to just throw your friendship with him just like that. Though, you really needed that space.

That day was the day when you accepted that he was only your bestfriend. Only ever will be your bestfriend. Maybe he’s your soulmate. Platonic soulmate. A soulmate doesn’t have to be a romantic partner.

03:49 PM

You smiled at the bittersweet memories as you heard the door open revealing Renjun carrying what he bought at the market. You sat up and walked towards him to help him. He says thank you as you helped him organize the foods he bought.

You went to your room and took a shower while Renjun was in the living room playing PUBG with Haechan and Chenle. You heard their arguments and playful remarks while playing.

04:45 PM

You finished showering and doing your skincare. You cleaned your room and when you went out of your room, you saw Renjun preparing the ingredients in the kitchen to start cooking. You went up to him and asks how can you help.

Both of you did your parts in preparing dinner.

06:35 PM

Both of you just finished preparing for dinner and were just waiting for the rice to cook. While waiting, he opens up the photo album from your bookshelf. It was the photo album of the both of you ever since you guys were kids.

Reminiscing memories with him. “I still remember this. This was the day when you cried because i didn’t want to play princess tea party with you.” Renjun said staring at the picture of you crying while he was standing cluelessly. You were 9 years old and he was 10 years old in this picture.

07:20 PM

You were eating dinner with him. Both of you talked about how university life was treating the both of you. How you both wants to go back to your province and spend time with family.

He smiles listening to you talk about how you miss going to you guys’ spot in the province, you stopped talking as he wiped the side of your lip. “There was a stain.”

Both of you finished eating, as you offered to wash the dishes since he has been doing all the chores since earlier. He agreed.

You thought he went to the living room while you were washing the dishes but he’s actually watching you from behind. When he suddenly comes up behind you and hugs you from behind.

“I really missed you. Wish i could stay here all the time.” You laughed.

“You’re so dramatic.”

“I’m trying to be sweet what.” He said sounding offended as you literally made him feel like you’re rejecting his affection for you.

You’re used to this. His love language was physical touch. You don’t think differently of his actions anymore.

10:45 PM

You’re seating in the couch with Renjun beside you as you watch him play PUBG on his Ipad.

You yawned as you were already sleepy. Renjun heard and also noticed that your eyes were almost closing.

“You’re such a sleepy head.”

“You’re still not used to it? You have to.” You defended as he only laughed at your defense.

You told him that you’re gonna go to your room and sleep already since you can’t wait for him to finish his game. He said okay and kissed your forehead and went back to play his game.

You went to your room and slept. You smiled as you wish nothing of this would change. You don’t wish for anything else and you’re contented with what you have with him. He is indeed your soulmate. :)