0712999

[0712999]

29.9

I have to take care of my body cause its a tool to get my needs met

If i ruin it wont serve me or get my needs met

Thats why i have to count calories

[0712999]

25.8.

I wanna kms

Predobro se osjecam kad brojim kalorije i kad sam u defictu.

Onak osjecam se cisto, ko da sam se otusirala

I onak ne osjecam se oteceno i ko da mi je teret na tijelu

Neg onak bas mi je ugodno u vlastitom tijelu, predobro

I to sto brojim kalorije je super jer imam napokon kontrolu nad hranom i koliko konzumiram. Znaci ako imam odredjene kalorije koje moram pojest u jednom danu. Znaci da nece biti dovoljno za mindless snacking. Tqk da se odma rijesavam i tog emocionalnog jedenja, jer nemam drugog izbora. Nego da ne jedem.

Isto tako se odmah rijesavam i svoj sala i imat cu nrutalnl tijelo. Tak da predobro, svidja mi se.

[0712999]

18.8.24

Primjetila sam da me sramota bit na dijeti pred mojom obitelji..

I kontam da me sramota svega s njima.. koliko su mutavi ja nmg

Onak zasto

Ne treba me bit sramota sto zelim lijepo izgledat

Treba me bit sramota sto nista ne radim da lijepo izgledam

Mislim da to treba biti univerzalno da se svi trude oko izgleda. Jedino u mojom glupoj obiteljj su svi tak ljeni i prihvacaju manje neg sto ,aslauzuju.

Koliko me ova glupa obitelj sjebala u mlzak

Jebote tatu je sramota trudit se oko icega. Nek ode u tri pozde materine vise

Ja cu se nastavit trudit i lijepo reap what i saw

A on nek nastavi nepomicno lezat u svojim govnima

[0712999]

Also i cant go back to being ignored and looked down upon, being judged and ridiculed like i was when younger ♡ life is better when im slimmer

Sat, july 13, 2024

Im letting go of fat because:

I deserve better

I deserve a healthy lifestyle and a healthy food relationship

I deserve to have good things in life, i did it before i can do it again

Life didnt stop after college, i can still look good and have fun

Just because im a twacher doesnt mean i have to be ugly and humble

I deserve to feel good in my skin and the clothes i wear

I deserve better, no matter how painfull it gets and how mich it tries to sabotage me i know i deserve better and i wont settle for less

The addictions and my reptilian brain are sabotaging me and trying to destroy me and ny growth but im an adult who can control my implises and be mature without throwing a fit

Im letting go of fat because its holding me back from doing the thing i want to do

Its holding me back from enjoying life

Its holding me back from social life

Its holding me back in everything

[0712999]

Sat, july 13, 2024

Im letting go of fat because:

I deserve better

I deserve a healthy lifestyle and a healthy food relationship

I deserve to have good things in life, i did it before i can do it again

Life didnt stop after college, i can still look good and have fun

Just because im a twacher doesnt mean i have to be ugly and humble

I deserve to feel good in my skin and the clothes i wear

I deserve better, no matter how painfull it gets and how mich it tries to sabotage me i know i deserve better and i wont settle for less

The addictions and my reptilian brain are sabotaging me and trying to destroy me and ny growth but im an adult who can control my implises and be mature without throwing a fit

Im letting go of fat because its holding me back from doing the thing i want to do

Its holding me back from enjoying life

Its holding me back from social life

Its holding me back in everything

[0712999]

Benefiti mršavosti:

Mršavo lice

Izgledam starije i ozbiljnije > vise ponuda za posao, ljudi me ozbiljnije shvacaju

Mršave ruke (bicepsi i tricepsi)

Tanak vrat

Ljudi vole mršave ljude

Sve sro debeli ljudi rade je cringez tako da necu biti cringe

Yawline (nemam podbradak)

Tanak i uzak nos (nije sirok)

Komplimentiii za tanak struk

Odjeca mi bolje stoji

Hlace mi super stoje

Mogu nositi sto god hocu i izgledat brutalno

Mogu nositi kratke hlace i sorceve

Mogu nositi kratke haljine

Imam cheekbones

Donekle cisto lice

Bijeli nokti i zubi

Velike oci

Komplimenti zbog tijela

Manje novaca trostiti na hranu

Disciplina

Samokontrola

Bolji fokus i razmisljanje

Brutalan je osjecaj vidi broj 55 i manje na vagi

Mogu se ic kupat na plazi

Kupaci mi brutalno stoji

Lagano mi je sagnit se

Izgledat cu kjut na dejtovima u slatkim haljinjcama

Imat cu ravan stomak

Mogu nositi crop topove

Mogu sjesti bez problema i imat ravan stomak

Imam tanke listove

Mogu nositi tajice

Mogu ici na plazu se kupat, suncat i flertat

Mogu obuc sto god hocu i sve ce mi dobro stajat

Mogu nositi visok rep i imati sharp jawline

Pretty privilege

Mogu obuc bilo koje hlace i otic do trgovine

Mogu obus onu sivu donji tenerku

Me moram se skrivat dok jedem jer nevu jest

Jedem samo zdravo i svi ce to vidit, ne skrivam slatkise i to ce se sve vidit na mom tijelu, znaci da cu imat vise samopostovanja

No guilt

Nedostatci debljine:

Podbradak

Sutost i uspavanost

Osjecam se odvratno

Imam hrpu cista na licu

Debele ruke

Debel vrat

Ogroman struk i stomak

Debele noge

Smrdim

Izgledam ko krmaxa

Nemam energije, stalno mi se spava

Debeli prsti i ruke

Izgledam kao musko

Nista me ne stoji od odjece, nemogu nista obuci

Nemogu kbuci usku majicu

Nemogu obuci krake hlace

Kad sjednem sve mi se srola preko hlacq

Stalno me boli stomak jer vari gluposti

Ruzne slike, ljudi ne vole bas debe ljude, nece se htjet druzit samnom, vjv misle da sam svinja debela

Sirok ildebel nos

Decki ne vole debele cure

Izgledam ruzno na slikama i onda ce to ljudi vidit kad me budu trazili 😵😵‍💫 wtfff

[0712999]

29.5.2024

Pozz,

Nisam dugo ovdje pisala. Puno toga se promjenilo od 2022. Um imam prijatelje i neprijatelje... nisam vise ruzna, samo sam debela al pokusavam smrsavit. Mall me iznenadilo kak sam tak bila stroga prema sebi prije. Onak ne zvuci mi dobro zivit s takbim glasom u sebi. Ugl imam sada growth mindset.. ide mi ali mislim da mi fali te strogoce puno. Mislim da sam takav unutarnji glad razvila jer mi je pomagao.

Al ovaj ne zelim da me ljudi mrze zbog moje steogoce hah. Onak blazek mi rekao da sam prije bila jako neugodna i nezainteresirana i da sam se bas jako promjenila u pozitivnom smislu. Kao da sam bila nekomuninaktivna.. tak da se bojim bit na djeti jer znam da cu opet bit ko zombij hahah. Al sad se super osjecam onak ko podmazan auto mogu bas kvalitetno razmisljat :)

Ali kao N mi reko da sam malo preambiciozna i da nevjeruje da cu stic to napravit, al kaze da su koljena bila sjajna. Al to nije dovoljno ja zelim jos! Zelim da mi se divi! To je moja sebicna zelja. Zelim da bude opsjednut samnom i da ne moze vjerovat koliko dobro radim i koliko sam savrsena da ostavi onu zenskj zbog mene i da se pocne druzit samnom.Ono nezelim opet ispast ko da neooga molim da me voli i da misle da sam nesposobna i pareticna kao "L" sto je mislio... jebemu misa.

I zelim bit mrsava jer je istina da ljudi mrze debele ljude i da se vise zele druzit sa lijepim ljudima tak da cu izgubit na teputaciji ako budem ruzna... i debela.. onak ne zelim vise bit takva... zelim si popravit zivot.. zelim da me ljudi sa akademije zapamte za cijeli zivot zbog toga kak sam ja super .. i dq me pamte godinama nakon sto ja odem ...

Koja mala sebicna zeljam.. samo mene.. mogu pamtit i druge al ja isto zelim da me ljudi vole i pamte..

[0712999]

Pet, 16 Rujan 2022

23:24

Slušaj sad. Nitko ne voli slabe, prljave, neuredne, niskosamopouzdane cure. Ali ti nisi cura, ti si žena od 22god. Daj se molim te uozbilji. Sa toliko godina imaš dovoljno pameti da obraniš taj rad kako treba. Ne ponašaj se ko derište neće ti to ništa pomoći.

Sama si primijetila da dečki vole samopouzdane, jake, inteligentne cure koje znaju biti romantične i znaju se šaliti koje nikada ne daju da ih drugi ponižavaju. Traže cure koje znaju svoju vrijednost i rade na sebi. Takve cure bi uvijek odabrali umjesto cure niskog samopouzdanja, zbunjenosti, zatvorenosti, slabosti.

Ne budi slaba 22godišnjakinja moraš biti jaka. Svima se gade slabe ili kako kažu "šljampave" cure-Leo V.

Već znaš kako svijet funcionira nikog nije briga kako se osjećaš. Svi tražimo neki pozitivni uzor i povezanost.

Ne daj nikom NIKAD da te ponizi. Imaš svoj glas i iskoristi ga. Prozovi ako se neko ponaša neprikladano ili kopka po tebi.

Imaš dovoljno godina da znaš i sama šta treba napravit ne slušaj druge koji te tretiraju ko dijete.

A tako te tretiraju jer se tak ponašaš.

Odvratno

Imaš toliko vremena u danu da stigneš sve napravit

STIGNEŠ RAZMIŠLJAT I DOK RADIŠ

Dok radiš stigneš se sjetiti boljih opcija koje nikada ti nebi došle na pamet da samo buljiš u ovaj mobitel

[0712999]

Sun, May 29th

I have a lot on my mind. Im going to start with the happier things that happened in my life because i think my depression is gone.

So first. I finnaly made friends and I couldnt be happier with my situation at my college. I really like that person and I'm going to maintain this friendship as long as I can because I cant afford to lose her I cant let my doubts ruin this for me because shes I think she is the reason my depression is gone. I might cry but im really happy i met her.

Second things are my work at academy is kinda good but i can definitely do better. I AM going to do better

Third, people are finally seeing the snakes real faces. I saw it since the start but god bless. Also im kinda worried about this one cause i thing this is the only topic we talk about in college and i dont want this thing to define our friendship im worried this is the reason why we bonded. And i dont want to be the person that hates others and makes people uncomfortable. Im stopping talking about them right now ive decided i dont want this in my life. Removing all toxicity from myself i dont want to be a negative person its draining.

And finally the guy i was attracted to approached me at a party. But the thing is you know he is twofaced and how mean he can be. dont let him break you, he is testing you again. Dont fall for it maintain your cool. Also dont avoid him cause its obvious and it gives people an impression like you hate him which is not true. Treat him like a human being even tho he is a shit person dont let other people control your emotions you are in charge of that. You control how you feel. Also you know how you feel when someone avoids you dont do that to other people but that doesnt mean you can let them break you show them you are a serious person who wont let other people to step on you.

[0712999]

Just know that losing isn’t the worst position to be in. The worst position in which to find yourself is when you have stopped caring.

Something happens to us as adults where we begin to mask apathy as wisdom. It’s a devilish thing — trying to pretend that caring is a sign of immaturity and weakness.

[0712999]

A body in motion stays in motion.

[0712999]

Im just a stranger in peoples lives

[0712999]

Happines is not the absence of problems its the ability to deal with them

You're not streesed because you're doing too much you're stressed because you're doing too little

[0712999]

20th March

I wont stop untill i get the life that i want.

Ugly people have it harder in life. Socially, financially etc..

[0712999]

19th March

You are here at your own will, noone is forcing you to stay here

"Hardwork can beat talent but can't beat a hardworking talent."

[0712999]

13th march 2022

You will live till youre 80

That gives you 60 more years damnnn

[0712999]

7th March 23:41

Some people are praying on your downfall. And you exactly know who those are. At work there are about 3 colleagues, 3 professors. In driving lesson there is one.

And you know what will make them lose their shit? Thats right, your glow up, your success.

Theyre always trying to find a reson to hate you and put you down. They just love it. they feed off it. They know you have something they dont do it just makes them even madder.

Just dont give them a reason to hate you. Keep your calm and thrive. Theh hate it when you thrive and they theyll come back crawlinh at your feet being all nice and shit.

Lol girl just do your own thing and thrive in succes and hardwork. Be happy with who you are, you are beautiful and i know you know it too and theyre just so fucking happy seeing you all miserable.

God im just glad you opened my eyes and when i asked you to give me a clear functioning faster mind ive been seeing things more clearly.

Keep doing you! Enjoy ur life and work hard for the things you deserve. Snd youre beautiful fuck those whl try to pjt you down they jjst want to be above you. Aint noone above me bitch were all eaqual.

Fucking energy vampires. I never in mu whole life believed there are people like that trying to get me lol i was so delusional. Living in my own perfect world well girl welcome to the real world where we pay bills and get our hearts eaten alive. Protect yourself and take care