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So I am back, was in hospital for 24 hours, they at least took me seriously this time, ct and mri were clear so I’m not dying but I am gonna have to go to neurology, bad news, I can barely walk bc of the weakness :(

Still was basically just left in a waiting room until I couldn’t even sit in a chair anymore, would have been on the floor if not for my wonderful mother, who was standing for nearly the whole 24hrs and is now sleeping for as long as she can (I love her so much)

Love when you go to A&E with stroke/TIA symptoms and they send you home saying it’s just your anxiety, like I live with that shit everyday? And I’m not constantly acting like I’m having a stroke?

To be fair to the doctor, he did try to refer me to the mental health team, but seeing as they are imaginary it wasn’t of much help.

If I were 50 or even 40 I would have been taken seriously, but a 21 year old can’t have a stroke, obviously they’re just anxious.

I literally couldn’t speak, my face was drooping, and half my body felt numb. No imaging done because “radiation is bad for you” and “you had an mri 1.5 years ago so nothing could have developed in that time”

My heart rate was also 135, so fuck me I guess?

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Love when you go to A&E with stroke/TIA symptoms and they send you home saying it’s just your anxiety, like I live with that shit everyday? And I’m not constantly acting like I’m having a stroke?

To be fair to the doctor, he did try to refer me to the mental health team, but seeing as they are imaginary it wasn’t of much help.

If I were 50 or even 40 I would have been taken seriously, but a 21 year old can’t have a stroke, obviously they’re just anxious.

I literally couldn’t speak, my face was drooping, and half my body felt numb. No imaging done because “radiation is bad for you” and “you had an mri 1.5 years ago so nothing could have developed in that time”

My heart rate was also 135, so fuck me I guess?

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This similarity has been driving me crazy.

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My cat has come to comfort me,, I love him <3

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So I’ve been trying to make reservations for my family for a meal just before Christmas and I thought the difficult part would be finding places that still had openings, but it’s actually trying to find places that have food I can eat.

Like it shouldn’t be hard to find a nice restaurant that has something on the menu that doesn’t have bell peppers, red wine or rice but it feels impossible, like I don’t want to be sat there with chicken nuggets off the kids menu,, I’m 20 for fucks sake.

I don’t know I just feel kind of helpless,, like my food issues don’t usually cause me many issues but it feels like normal fucking restaurants just want to be avant garde events or something.

Like,, can a guy not just want a meal that won’t make them throw up?

Noting here that from what I can find this is only not the case for meals in pubs,, which I also can’t deal with due to the fact that men in pubs are fucking awful.

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Also I’m drinking this strawberry wine I got for context,,

I always forget how much wine tastes like vinegar,, like some are better than others but how are people managing to drink enough of it to get drunk? Like with stuff like vodka I can understand, ‘cause vodka actually tastes nice-

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I always forget how much wine tastes like vinegar,, like some are better than others but how are people managing to drink enough of it to get drunk? Like with stuff like vodka I can understand, ‘cause vodka actually tastes nice-

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I’m gonna grow bird wings and learn how to fly,, I just need to,, Emotionally and physically,,

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I love archery, such a satisfying set of movements!!

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My dogs are just,, so snoot,, much nose,, very cuddly and snuggly and wanting to cause havoc,,

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I feel like I could beet god in a fistfight. I may have weak noodle arms but I bet I could do it.

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Woozy, Snoozy and all around Coolzy

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Sleep deprivation finds me irresistible

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Sometimes everything is everything is a lot is just so much is just all

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Minecraft ending,,

emotion,, much,,

yeah,,

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Honestly I shouldn’t be allowed to do most of what I do.

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Emotionally I am a used piece of string.