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TOP 3 TRAITORS:

3. Brutus 2. Judas 1. Printers when you are in a hurry

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we've done it again folks

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*stabs julius caesar in the back* you're bleeding because you don't floss

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I hate that SEPTember OCTOber NOVember and DECember aren’t the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months.

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So like, do you think the US invasion of Iraq was justified? I’m aware the situations aren’t the same but from what I’ve seen you seem to agree with the notion of “they hit us so we annihilate them with massive bombing

Please for once in ur lifetime detach yourself from this idiotic americacentric way of viewing the world. Iraq is not on the fucking border of America. Baghdad is not 2 fucking kilometers away from your cities. Iraqi death squads didnt infiltrate your towns and massacred ppl in their sleep or raped+tortured them at a party, 1km away from their border with you. It has absolutely nothing to do with "ummmm they hit us so well hit them back :)))" what are you, 5? Israelis have been living under constant, and I mean constant, nonstop threat of death ever since Hamas (and if were being fully honest, before too) took over Gaza in 2007, be it via daily rocketfire, mortar-fire, shootouts from across the border into border towns, suicide bombings and more. October 7th is a culmination of 17yrs of a literal death cult growing right in your backyard. Hamas didnt "hit us", it invaded us and brutalized thousands of civilians. It started a literal war, and literal wars have literal bombs that literally drop from the literal sky and literally kill people. 9/11 was a massive terror attack and Im not surprised the US responded the way that it did. I am not American and it is not my place to agree or disagree with what some other country is doing, thats for the Americans to decide because its their fucking country, their circus and their monkeys.

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Being raised by areligious jews with 0 exposure to christianity outside pop culture is so fun. One time I asked my ex-catholic friend why a picture of jesus had a bristle crown and she looked at me like I was insane. One time I heard someone mention the "lance of longinus" and responded, word for word, "Like from Evangelion?" One time during a history lesson my professor described an important monk and scholar as "Dominican" and I spent the rest of class super confused and hung up on it because I was very sure that the Dominican Republic didn't meaningfully exist as an entity back then, maybe she meant he was a native Taino or something but that's a weird way to say that and I'm pretty sure this was pre- European contact? Really fucks people up when they realize I genuinely have no idea.

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anyway i looked up the post about seeing your grandma's boobs and tumblr has deleted the screenshot of the story where the finnish dude says that americans are "like that" because they haven't seen their grandma's tits

good job tumblr 👍

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I feel like the first class you played in DND tells a lot about you

Reblog and put in the tags what your first class was

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UC or ER?

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I think it would be really funny if Jewish folks started using 🫣🫣🫣🫣 etc as prayer emojis instead of 🙏

🙈⬅️ me saying the shema

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Now that tumblr live is dead let’s put that post button back where it belongs baby it’s okay

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Put a / in the year you were born, so we will have an average age

Before 1990: //////

1990:////

1991://////

1992:////////////

1993://///////////////

1994:////////////////////

1995: //////////////////////////////////////

1996: /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

1997: /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

1998: ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

1999: ///////////////////

2000: //

After 2000: /

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Imagine showing up to work one day and people are like "jesus fucking christ there's a corpse in here", herd you to the back room and everyone who sees you also agrees that there is now a dead body where you are sitting, with the appropriate amount of shock and disgust about it. You figure it's some kind of a prank that they're pulling, but also the people that you know aren't into pranks, or aren't very good actors, are treating you like a corpse. They go weirdly back and forth between talking about you as if you're not there, and politely asking you to stay still while they figure out who you're supposed to call in case of a dead body randomly appearing.

Paramedics show up, study you thoroughly and agree that while they can't see any apparent sign of death, you are, indeed, dead, and ask you to climb aboard the ambulance. You're taken to the temporary corpse storage that hospitals have.

On the way there you ask them whether this kind of shit happens often, and while they won't look at you, the paramedics agree that they've never had a talking corpse before, though they won't question the fact that you're moving on your own.

You're eventually led to a morgue, where you're shown a slab to lay on, and at this point you don't really even question it, you just climb onto the Corpse Shelf and lay down, maybe have a little nap, with no idea what's going to happen next.

Then you wake up to someone walking into the morgue, who has the shit scared out of them when you move, and they're like "dude what the fuck, you're not supposed to be here, this place is for storing dead bodies" and when you're like "aw man sorry I thought I was a dead body" they have no idea whether you're joking and they don't care, you're just chased out of there.

And you just kinda go home and take a shower, show up to work normally the next day and nobody questions it.

And basically that's probably how those ants feel when scientists spray them with the Pheromone That Dead Ants Smell Like, and just hang out at the dead-ant-pile until the smell wears off.

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You guys are never gonna believe what the name of this sculpture is

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literally though if you feel like your life is slipping through your fingers and every day goes too fast… try doing hard things, not just taking the easy route, like reading and making art and exercising and cooking a meal from scratch and journaling, doing these things without distraction, without being absorbed on a screen… the time will stretch and you’ll be reminded that life is long and beautiful if you make it so.