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WAIT I’m back here . I was cooking? literally Armand knew. He knew Armand knew and Armand wanted him anyway… to be fully accepted- PROTECTED, even, by a man… that’s all Louis wants, well he got it but Claudia has to suffer AGAIN . rolin jones I owe you my life

fujoshi moment like what does it mean that Louis could be so direct about his desires, so free of shame with armand and even w the other guy who did him some face, but never w lestat??

clearly lestat saw Louis as being emasculated and disempowered and wanted to give him that power back but he never lives up to it by lestat’s standards right. So isn’t it fascinating that w armand he is so direct - even though Armand is the one giving him what he has and once again replicating the dynamic of guiding him through his vampirity. don’t get me started on the implications that has for their present day Dynamic.

But going back to my previous point maybe his boldness comes from the fact that he’s in the coven and not isolated?? And that Lestat isn’t the master of him anymore (but lestat will always be there!!! his maker his shadow his true love his torturer) or perhaps he’s more easily able to hide and feels more safe to be seen by Armand. To let himself see Armand too? But ofc he’s not really sure about being seen bc if Armand sees him then all he’ll see is lestat.

But maybe there’s comfort in being with someone so powerful they understand lestats hold on him and the things that he allowed to happen to him (the things that he FEELS he allowed to happen to him. The shame). And so the loustat dynamic replicates again - from the abuse of the racist yts to empowerment through love to the abuse from lestat to the empowerment of Love from Armand. FUCK this shit is on different levels Anne rice I’m never reading those books but I owe you my fucking life

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I went outside to the real world and there was nuance. it was fucking terrifying stay safe y'all

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At first, he thought his mom had come back. I guess I did too.

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This season is quite a confronting look at what happens when you really dig into your own culpability to things that you felt you were the victim in, or like ways that you felt were wrong, how much did you play a part in those wrongs. And how much responsibility are you willing to take for your own actions and the way that you manifested your thoughts and feelings. Louis is way more powerful than he would ever admit. He's way more responsible for the tragedy of his own life than he would ever admit.

Jacob on what to expect in Season 2, from The Parting Shot with H. Alan Scott

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this is going to sound uncharitable (it is) but louis just fails claudia again and again because he cannot for the life of him prioritize her. and his failures to do so exist alongside his love for her, his smothering of her, his enmeshment with her, his dependence on her. you’d think an overbearing parent like him would be utterly devoted to the well being of their child and put them above all else but really what louis appears to be most devoted to is his own grief and rage and desire and his almost navel gazey self loathing. he just cannot suck it up for long enough ever to be what claudia needs him to be. because to some extent he’s right about himself, he is weak; he was turned in a moment of weakness and he is stuck in that moment. and compared to what claudia is forced to become in the wake of his abdication of the role that he took upon himself (!!!) weak is a part of what he is. and yes of course saying it like this is very unfair to louis because his mortal life was spent being what other people (including his own family) wanted/needed him to be at great cost to himself, and his relationship with lestat was abusive, and he’s suffered countless traumas & indignities, he’s boiling over all the time, but claudia didn’t have anything to do with that. she didn’t ask to be made. she wasn’t even asked. the absence of metaphor is striking the family is a monster literally why did they make her then, just to suffer? to be an immortal repository for louis’ failures? this is a sick show for sick people. abolish the vampire family NOW let her OUT god you should see my drafts

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and I play the little girl?

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i’m rewatching “the one that got away” and it’s actually so crazy how buck had all of these concerns about what it would mean for him to be in a relationship with someone who would always feel like second best to his job and that his way of life couldn’t possibly be enough for anyone. him being scared of a future in which he loses his family and ends up all alone because everyone would eventually move on and be happy and he would be left behind because of the job that is so important to him that he just can’t let it go - just for said job and family to be the reason he meets tommy.

someone who gets how important they both are to him because that’s how he feels too! he actually really wants to be (and in some ways already is) part of buck’s life in that way. buck doesn’t have to make room for him to fit into it because there always has been a tommy shaped hole in his life even if he wasn’t aware of it. it’s been there since the day he sat down in tommy’s seat at the station. like in the episode with red where all of bucks fears come bubbling to the surface they literally mention him by name when talking about people they used to work with but aren’t as close to anymore, seemingly confirming everything he’s been so afraid of, just for tommy to come back into their lives because of buck, proving that the future he’s dreaming of is not only possible but that he has taken an active role in creating it for himself and that’s just so!!!!!!!

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they look like they run a ceramics studio like the navy

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Interview with the Vampire, S2.02, Do You Know What It Means To Be Loved By Death?

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"You survive this and in some terrible way, which I suppose no one can ever describe, you are compelled, you are corralled, you are bullwhipped into dealing with whatever it is that hurt you. And what is crucial here is that if it hurt you, that is not what’s important. Everybody’s hurt. What is important, what corrals you, what bullwhips you, what drives you, torments you, is that you must find some way of using this to connect you with everyone else alive. This is all you have to do it with. You must understand that your pain is trivial except insofar as you can use it to connect with other people’s pain; and insofar as you can do that with your pain, you can be released from it, and then hopefully it works the other way around too; insofar as I can tell you what it is to suffer, perhaps I can help you to suffer less."

- James Baldwin, The Artist's Struggle for Integrity

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Maddie & Evan Buckley in 911 ⇢ In Another Life 6x11

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INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE 2x01, "What Can the Damned Really Say to the Damned"

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trailers are nothing to me anymore like ohhh dramatic music big title card whatever. if it's worth watching then the gay people in my phone will tell me

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the only bucktommy breakup scenarios I will accept are

Tommy has a career-ending injury (made especially painful by the fact that him and Buck were discussing his retirement plans, maybe he’d try teaching flying? Ideas for the near future now much nearer than either of them could’ve ever predicted) and Buck is IMMENSELY supportive, could not be any more suited to caring for Tommy both physically and emotionally due to the blood thinner lawsuit of it all. But. He’s still a firefighter, and he doesn’t want to put Tommy through the repeated trauma of having to hear about his latest adventures with the 118, so they mutually agree to never see each other again, even though it’s not quite mutual, not really. Tommy knows he’ll be seeing Buck’s heroics on the news, and hell, he’ll probably end up being captain one day. Tommy can only hope he’ll have rebuilt a new life by then - and Buck tells him he’s certain he will, that he can, because their relationship is proof of that. Tommy doesn’t tell him that he learned how quickly everything you’ve built can come crashing down around you, on you—

Absolute fluff, like post-makeout soot beard levels of silliness

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09/03/21 • poem made from the handout for a lecture on the fragmentary historical sources and missing tomb of alexander the great

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