12amhymmns - Tumblr blog

[12amhymmns]

It can be so tempting to live your life like a prequel. To live as if you're setting up your own story and once you lose weight, once you have the money, once you graduate school, once you're in a real relationship, once, once, once. Then finally, you'll begin to live, and everything you do up until that point is some kind of half-life, some unimportant foreword you can skip. DONT DO THIS!! Inhabit your life completely. Sink fully into the wealth of your existence. The power to manifest is in the fearless owning of who you are, so that you can shape where you're going.

~Unknown

This reasonates with my because the sad truth is that I’m just waiting for my life to be better and exactly how I want. But that’s impossible, perfect is impossible. Especially during this time be greatful for all that you have and live in the moment. You will get where you want be faster if you enjoy the ride.

Xoxo...Ally

[12amhymmns]

Mind is mind. The contents might be difference but the essence is the same. Understand your own mind and you will understand others.

Xoxo...Ally

[12amhymmns]

You want to die? Then throw yourself into the sea & you’ll see yourself fighting to survive.

You do not want to kill yourself, rather you want to kill something inside of you."

~ An Arabic Saying

Xoxo...Ally

[12amhymmns]

Life was good. It came so unexpected yet expected. How would you have lived differently knowing that you would be quarantined for a couple of months? For me, I would’ve bought that Starbucks I wanted that morning on the last day of work, I should’ve gotten all the sushi I wanted instead of counting my calories, I should’ve hugged my mom a little tighter, kiss my boyfriend a little longer. I would’ve put tips on my nails instead of waiting for summer and stayed at the gym longer instead of going home to study. If I learned anything during this quarantine is to always do what your heart desires and do it filled with love. I’ve held back so much from the little things I wanted so that I could look better or be smarter. Those things are important but stop waiting to do the things that make you happy. So what if you have to go to work in the morning spend the late night with your mom. Or if you feel like working out relieves stress do it as much you want even if you have a pile of studying that awaits you. It’s so important to be happy and content with yourself all the time. This quarantine in ways reminds me of death. We live our lives thinking we are happy with all the materialistic things in life or accomplishments that only satisfy others more than yourself. DO WHAT MAKE YOU HAPPY. DONT DIE WITH REGRETS. WHEN COVID19 GOES AWAY REMEBER TO ALWAYS CHERISH THE LITTLE THINGS. BE HAPPY FOR YOU.

xoxo...Ally

[12amhymmns]

It hurts my brain to think about religion, how we got here or where we will end up after this adventure. I like to think that scientific proof is what’s best. How can you deny something that is literally proven to you in the most logical way possible? But when I really think about it how can we be sure? We are on this earth on average 70-80 years, there’s only so much that we can experience in a lifetime. In the entire universe us humans are so small, how do we know exactly what is out there. I’m proud to declare myself a scientist, a logical thinker, sometimes atheist but not necessarily. The truth of the matter is that no one knows exactly everything.

Xoxo...Ally

[12amhymmns]

Hello Tumblr world. Each day we find it harder and harder to fit in. Sometimes everyone tries so hard to bring each other down why not use our wonderful power of words to lift each other up. I’ve had tumblr for a long time using it on and off because I’ve never been able to establish my own platform. I’ve had several pages but struggled with being consistent. After being quarantined for exactly 43 days so far I think this is the perfect time to get my page up and running. I’m really unsure about what I want this page to be like. Often I reasonate so much with all the dark feeds but at the same time I want to be empowering and motivating to others. Hopefully I can do both. I have faith that together we can empower each other and ride our storms together.

[12amhymmns]

[12amhymmns]

And I’ll always wonder about what’s swirling in your mind— what’s blooming in your heart, but I’ll always be terrified of not being able to find my name written inside any of them.

ma.c.a // Please, Say Who I Am (via vomitingwords)

[12amhymmns]

[12amhymmns]

[12amhymmns]

She can be difficult to love. But nothing exceptional ever comes easy.

eamnella (via wnq-writers)

[12amhymmns]

We have become warriors. We are constantly at war — with our demons. There is defeat and victory in giving in.

janicebolen (via wnq-writers)

[12amhymmns]

Afraid of falling asleep

Being afraid of falling asleep was not something that you would associate with him, he was the one who’d fall asleep almost anywhere. Heck, he had even fallen asleep while standing once, I saw him, honest.

Yet, these nights he was frightened, almost wanting to hide somewhere, splashing his face with water whenever sleep tried to overcome him. He had to sleep, it was night, he had stuff to do in morning, he knew and yet he couldn’t bring himself to sleep.

Nightmares, he was scared to face them, what he might see when he’s sleeping soundly. He’d been told he had woken up screaming in middle of the night and was scolded for that. Something he actually had no control over.

He thought he was strong, everyone thought he was, admired him for his strength, but no one knew, of his fear of sleep, fear of facing the unknown, he dreaded it every night.

Lying awake, trying to not let blackness consume him, even though it felt peaceful, he knew it was nothing other than a mere mirage and didn’t want to succumb to the powers of peace that darkness brought.

However, he was just one soul, a lost soul for that matter, and it was no fight, it wasn’t even a handicap, and he lost, drowned in darkness, not knowing what will happen.

- AA

[12amhymmns]

I don't carry around your picture anymore because I can just close my eyes

it’s one thing to be a fuck up & it’s another to be a fuck up fucked up altogether

I can’t remember the nights the stars left like you can

I read our ghosts trying to explain why their tomorrow our yesterday couldn’t stay the same

how my next day & your next day became today

all I really wanted was your laughter after a ludicrous joke I told all I really wanted was your lips after the lights went down all I really wanted was your eyes before fall closed them & winter came

all I want now is to drop past participle & tense

I don’t wish you stop existing I wish you never burn out

I hated, despised, loathed or cursed you I really don’t I think those feelings were directed at myself & the alcohol didn’t give a shit

I hate myself because I was already broken then I broke you too I despise myself for taking the valleys of your dimples I loate myself because love is just a poetic technique for me I curse myself because even in your happiest pictures I see

a blur, light glare, black wings & I know the worst parts of our yesterday is your today & the best parts of our yesterday are the worst parts of my tomorrow

it it was a single night maybe you could forgive me I wanted an apology from you for so long but now I just want you to hear mine now that I’ve replaced glass with plastic

you already hold the branch in your arms if I brought you every Pisciottana trunk

could I hold him so we can talk about

how my next day & your next day

can become our tomorrow?

[12amhymmns]

There is something deeply comforting about the vastness of space. No matter how big our problems are, no matter how large they seem to us, to the universe we aren’t even blips on its radar. We exist so briefly that for the universe we are a millisecond of a milliseconds worth of existence. Whenever I gaze at the stars and then look back at my greatest problem of the day, suddenly everything seems so very small and so very insignificant. We get a millisecond of a milliseconds worth of life. Why not spend as much of that as we can trying to be happy and doing the things we love instead of making ourselves ache?

Nikita Gill (via meanwhilepoetry)

[12amhymmns]

Now, in the midst of my own struggles, I often compare my self to the vastness of the ocean, the murkiness of the sea. I think of how far down I am sometimes and it terrifies me. I have fought my way to the shore and away from the life I was once drowning in, but there’s still an aching in my chest for the meaning to it all. Tears flow and I can’t hold them back any longer. They flow into a sea of all I’ve been longing for. I take a breath and close my eyes and go back in time. My thoughts are like a storm, a hurricane even. I cling to the shore, to the solid ground I’ve found. I pray I don’t get swept away in all that I know. I’ve been restless for quite sometime now, like I said before it’s like there are waves always breaking somewhere inside of me.

Savannah Black (via wnq-writers)

[12amhymmns]

Yesterday, I found out that you weren’t with her anymore. My breath caught in my chest when I first heard. I didn’t know what to think… how to feel about it. Me, being me, had the little ounce of hope that you broke it off with her because you couldn’t get my voice out of your head. After all, you did tell me 3 weeks ago that you couldn’t stop thinking about me. There was a stipulation though. You couldn’t get her out of his mind either. It’s always been the other way around with us. You were so into me that you would’ve left the world behind to be able to call me yours. I had my own world. Now it seems like you found your shining star, your sun, and I am just realizing that your world is much more appealing to me than my own. I always thought you would be there waiting for me when I realized it was you that i needed. I really thought you were different for me. I thought you understood me. Not the me that people at school see me as. I thought you saw me as in my soul, my mind. Yesterday I called you and you didn’t pick up. I left you a voicemail saying, “Hey, I know you’re probably busy, but if you aren’t wanna help a girl out? I need some advice and you’re the first person that came to mind, so here I am. Give me a call back, okay?” You text me, 8 hours later, asking what had happened. That’s when I realized that your girlfriend wasn’t the reason why you couldn’t be with me, but YOU were the reason. You just aren’t into me. This is why I have trust issues. 6 months ago I told you to go find someone else to be happy with, and you told me that you didn’t want anyone else. You said you would be waiting when I realized that you were the one i had to be with, no matter how long it took. Today, I found out you are back with her. She’s very pretty; she’s got a sparkle in her eye that I know you probably adore. Her smile is contagious, and I’m sure her laugh makes your heart fill up with emotions you’ve never felt before. She’s great at basketball and softball, varsity in both. She’s the type of girl that makes you want to become a better person, that makes you want to be good enough. I may not have a sparkle in my eye, but my eyes do change to a pretty hazel color when they’re in the sun. My smile is pretty average, and my laugh is decent on a good day. I play volleyball, and I’ll probably never be the star player. I do have a way with words though; I have a way of making you know that you’re worth something. I take pictures, especially of the things I’m afraid to lose. I give compliments about the less obvious things. I have a way of getting people to open up and feel comfortable enough to talk to me. Also, I listen. I don’t start up a conversation / ask questions because I’m curious or so that I can go spread your secrets around to everyone and their uncle. I ask because I care. I know what it’s like to have no one to talk to, so let me be that person for you. I may have some bad anxiety problems, and I may not be the best at talking to people, but I’m a cool person once you get past that. My soul is pretty rad too. I don’t want to make you feel like you have to become a better person for me; I want you to feel like you are good enough for me, that you don’t have to change yourself to fit some kind of “standards” you think I have. The moral of the story is this: You never know what you’ve got until it’s gone, so enjoy it while it lasts.

emmuuhhhhhh (via wnq-writers)