1outside

[1outside]

while frustrating, the funniest response to historical erasure of same sex couples is people wildly overcorrecting and assuming any interaction between two men in history was a secret homosexual relationship covered up by Big Historian. i saw someone on r/sapphoandherfriend sincerely ask if Thomas Jefferson and John Adams were lovers.

[1outside]

It’s really funny when people who enjoy content that’s easy consume think they’re somehow oppressed for this preference even tho the entire entertainment industry caters to it

[1outside]

this is the glossary of english-language idioms derived from baseball and if you're american, even if you have never interacted with the sport in your entire life, you're gonna be blown away by how many regular everyday phrases we say that actually come from BASEBALL.

[1outside]

unironically people need to learn to say “they haven’t done anything wrong i just find them annoying”

[1outside]

How can millennials unlearn queer purity culture?

Empathy. We need to stop viewing online discourse as something we can "win" and recognise that even when we disagree with someone or they say something we think is uninformed they are a PERSON. Try talking to them about why you feel what they said might be insensitive, or ask them how they came to that view and share your view.

Why the fuck should we argue over what fanfic someone reads or if a historical figure was technically homo or bi sexual or whatever else we have done. We can just... dislike it and move on.

And I mean that, you really don't have to like the art someone else likes. And we can definitely talk about problematic art, but it doesn't mean that people who like it are bad people. And content creators can make mistakes and you can dislike them but saying "x person is y bigoted and if you follow them unfollow me" is...bad.

People might have a number of reasons to support a creator you think is a bad or did a bad, they might ultimately decide that the good outweighs the bad. Hell, some people still watch Roman Polanski movies and I'm OK with that. I'm not ok with Polanski himself or anyone who defends his actions, but if you are a cinephile that wants to watch Rosemary's baby then that is your personal call and it does not mean you are a "child abuse enabler".

If someone works at ShittyCorp as a janitor and ShittyCorp happens to sell baby formula cut with cocain to kids in Australia to get them hooked on the white stuff, the janitor is not "someone who is down with baby drug lords in the southern hemisphere". And while you could say that working there is an immoral or less moral choice, it is not the totality of who they are.

And remember that all of this behaviour, of being the good queer, the lefty leftist, being Mx Woke Congeniality will eventually make things harder for you. You have helped build a smaller box to put yourself in and it will eventually bite you. There is not a single person who has clean hands.

You know how edgelords accuse us of eating ourselves? I don't think they are entirely wrong. The way we dogpile on when someone is revealed to be less than perfect, the way we will compile a list of their sins to make it look lot a "pattern of behaviour "even though it is like 6 tweets and a video over a 15 year chronically online period.

The way we gatekeep forgiveness... yeah, no one is entitled to your forgiveness. But if you are still really holding shit against someone for something uninformed they said 5 years ago even though they eventually learned, apologised and wouldn't do it now... maybe you should look at why, and what benefit you get out of still talking about that one thing.

Because it does come around to us. We have all said something dumb, uninformed, way out of our lane and when the dogpile comes for you then you will realise that nothing you say matters. People don't really want you to improve, we are here for our pound of flesh. And we love watching a fall from grace.

If a creator did something Uninformed and there are 1000 people tweeting at them with suggestions and insults, ask what you could contribute. Has it already been said? Then maybe don't say anything. Because I can tell you from experience when 100 people are reacting in bad faith and insults, it becomes harder to hear the 2 or 3c that are genuinely making suggestions for improvement. It just feels like a wave. So don't be part of it.

Or be part of a positive wave and tweet "I know x creator made a mistake and I hope they are able to see it, adjust accordingly and keep making content, because they add so much value to our community".

We have got to start viewing each other complexly. Why did that person say That Thing? Is it because they are a bigot who hates x group? Are they uninformed? Was it taken out of context? Where they speaking from hurt and lashing out and accidentally hit out at another group? All of these things matter.

None of us are endlessly patient and no, it's not our "job" to educate anyone, but some of us need to start doing it more often because otherwise we end up in an echo chamber of purity. And if we don't talk to them, don't understand and empathise with them, do you know who will? People far away from the fringes of good intentions.

If someone tries to reach out with empathy to a group that we, rightly, fear or hate, they are very unlikely to be a bigot who enables them, they might be trying to deradicalise them or other well intended means.

I was once tagged, many years ago, to condemn someone who was talking to a paedophile. When I looked into it the person themselves had been a victim and was talking to them... not to enable them, but to try and adjust some of the things they (the paedophiles) thought were healthy interactions. During this the poster gave some advice that was... not very well thought through. It could have and SHOULD have been gently corrected. But instead they were, a victim themselves, labelled as an enabler and supporter.

I've been tagged or had asks telling me that someone I reblogged from once liked or reblogged some incest art or something.

And I totally get not liking that art, it's not for me either. But I don't feel the need to condemn those who do like it, for whatever reason, to the depths of hell.

Hell, I even saw callouts because people shipped some kids together in a fictional, animated kids show. Not even for anything nsfw, it was just... wanting them to wind up together in a show. And the person happened to be in their mid 20s and thus it was problematic.

I'm not saying you have to suddenly engage someone in the intricacies of the omegaverse and have them explain knotting to you in the name of tolerance and empathy.

But we need to learn that things can squick us out without deciding that someone needs to pay for it, that someone needs to be held accountable. We can examine trends, tropes and talk about of we think there are real life consequences of that kind of art or media, but we have got to stop trying to invent new ways to shit on each other so we don't truly have to engage in critical thinking.

Labelling someone homophobic, racist, antisemetic, biphobic, misogynistic, transphobic or another host of things and then dropping the mic is not a "win". And just because someone says something that falls within one or more of those claims doesn't mean the whole person is trash. If you find yourself wanting to do that, to label then as bad, to throw them away, to drag them and wanting that to happen... you need to take a step back because it sounds personal.

And that doesn't mean that shit should go unchecked or that a person shouldn't be deplatformed sometimes. It means you need to engage in good faith, are you interpreting things the way you want to? Why are you doing what you are doing? What do you think would be a good outcome here? Why? Is there an outcome that is good for everyone, including the person who did wrong? Can we strive for that?

This is already an extremely long post and I'm writing on mobile so chances are that I doubled up my points. But a breakdown is: empathy and critical thinking. What do you want and why? Is there a way to look at things more complexly? And is it possible that ignoring this situation and moving on is actually the best course of action? Can you add anything positive?

And for gods sakes, go easy on kids. Gentle corrections and modelling good behaviour is the way to deal with them.

[1outside]

THE DIPLOMAT 1x06 Some Lusty Tornado I am wounded! And I don't like speaking in front of a lot of people.

[1outside]

KEELEY JONES in TED LASSO VIVIAN WARD in PRETTY WOMAN

[1outside]

[1outside]

[1outside]

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) dir. John Francis Daley, Jonathan Goldstein

[1outside]

the richard ramirez documentary has many flaws but I’m obsessed with this woman and her take on serial killer groupies 

[1outside]

"Jason" is a name from ancient greece that sounds like it was made up in the united states in 1979

[1outside]

bilf (book i'd like to finish)

[1outside]

[1outside]

[1outside]

1928 Poster for Imperial Airways. From the Jazz Age Vehicle Archive, FB.