20somethingandlearning

[20somethingandlearning]

Gynecologist appt = success!

Hello, everyone! I'm sure y'all have been on the edge of your seats this week, thinking about my gynecologist appointment yesterday evening. I am here to report that...it happens. Yes, that's right. Kinda a letdown. No fascinating stories.

I did strike up an interesting conversation with my gynecologist, though.

(To clarify, that is not my doctor. Or my baby.)

I asked many detailed questions about Pap smears, cervical cancer, etc. and she was incredibly excited and thorough in her explanations. When I told her she should be a teacher, she responded, "Maybe after I retire - this is the best job in the world, except when it isn't." I assumed she was referring to the best as delivering babies (less so, I suspect, Pap smears), and the most difficult part being the tougher cases, like stillborns, babies with birth defects, etc., but then it occurred to me that she might mean performing abortions. So I asked her (in retrospect, I hope it wasn't a rude question) if she performs abortions. She responded, "No, I don't. I believe in a woman's right to choose, but I personally just can't do it."

It's a difficult question, I suppose - if you believe in something, but you recognize how difficult it is - are you entitled to recuse yourself? [Of course, this was most famously 'debated' in The Cider House Rules, one of the first real adult books I ever read and still one of the best.] Of course, everyone would rather deliver a child than an abortion; if everyone made the decision to only do the fun part, we wouldn't have doctors performing the service. Of course, she could argue that we aren't in such a state, so she doesn't have to worry about. But then one could argue that if she, philosophically, believes that abortions are the right of a woman, then doesn't she make a moral differentiation by her actions? That is to say, she is making a statement simply by not performing them. I don't really have an answer for this, I'm really just musing. But if I am true to myself, I think that if I were in her shoes, I too would stay away from abortions. But do I think it's right? I'm not sure.

Anyway, that was a digression, sorry about that.

I was incredibly anxious, but the doctor made me feel incredibly comfortable; she kept apologizing for making me uncomfortable, and her entire demeanor was so welcoming and friendly; it made a huge difference. The breast exam was difficult because her hands were freeeeezing, but that should be the biggest problem in life. The Pap smear was also fine, I just kept telling my body to relax, and eventually, it did, and I was much less uncomfortable. It still hurt a little bit, but I just kept breathing and it was okay.

Anyway, tomorrow is a big day! Ophthalmologist in the morning, should be boring. And then dentist appointment in the early afternoon (I booked a double appointment, because the right side of my mouth has been weirdly sensitive to cold in the past month, and because a tiny piece of filling (gross) came out of one of my teeth last week; funny enough, it was the day after I had booked this appointment. Last, I have a general checkup, and hopefully I can get blood taken too; if I'm feeling particularly inspired, I will ask for a referral to a dermatologist and head over there in the next week or two. It's my last few weeks, I should go crazy!

[20somethingandlearning]

I fiiiinally got my (temporary) New York license!!

Not having a license has been stressful. Driving didn't matter, because my car is chilling in New Jersey, but because I had the necessary documents for my new license (including my expired NJ license) collected and ready to go in a ziplock, I had a lot of trouble getting into a bar on Saturday night. I had to beg the bouncer ("I'm 25. I promise. Want to see my other cards? Credit card? Business card? Health insurance card? Metrocard?") for about ten minutes until he finally said "It's too hot for this; just go inside." Do I know how to charm them, or what?

Anyway, no longer! It finally worked out, thank the Lord, and now I have a temporary New York license; I am an official resident of NYS!

The Herald Square DMV opens at 8 AM, so when I arrived at 7 AM, I was third on line. Awesome. The line formed outside, along the block - there was only a trickle of people until 7:30, when they began to arrive in droves. And the sweetest souls were the dozen or so who showed up at 7:55 AM, shocked that there was already a line.

But we finally got inside, the woman in front of me making absolute sure that we were also first on the line inside, even though we were at the back of the elevator crammed with the first 20 people who had been on line outdoors. (There was some drama, but don't worry, she had a freakout and people were scared.)

Once inside, things went fairly smoothly, except for my horrible hair in my new picture, and the obscene cost (over $60 for a license that only lasts for four years, and rumor has it that renewing the license is even more!) and I was out the door by 8:50, temporary license in hand! I was slightly disappointed that I got a thin piece of paper, instead of a real license (it should arrive in the mail in the next two weeks), but I'll still take it.

Next step: gynecologist appointment Wednesday night! Already anxious about it. (I doubt I will ever be comfortable about that, let's be honest.)

[20somethingandlearning]

Busy weekend - my social security card AND new credit card arrived!

Hey y'all. It's been a veeeery busy few days in my Quest to Adulthood.

First thing - my social security card arrived on Friday! As astute readers will remember, New York State loves social security cards. Without a card, I have the same right to a drive as a federal prisoner with a revoked license. But I digress. I got my social security card in the mail. Friday afternoons are always the best time of the week, and this just made entering the weekend a little bit more exciting. Thank you, God, for the kindness you continuously provide.

And then to top it off...my new credit card arrived on Saturday! Of course, I immediately called the number on the sticker to activate the card, the way a mature adult would, and then spent the next 45 minutes on the phone with Discover asking some very important questions like, "How do I pay my bill? Any chance it can be done online? Yeah!?" and "Is there a way to look up what I purchased? Really?? That's amazing!" I am pretty sure that they were blown away by my sophistication. (And because I know you're not just looking for entertainment, you REALLY came to this tumblr for financial advice, you never, NEVER, put something on a credit card you can't pay for immediately. So of course, I set up the account to pay the full balance at the end of the month. Thanks, Mom!)

Next step, DMV! Good thing, too, because my first doctor appt is Wednesday evening. Getting pretty psyched!

[20somethingandlearning]

Approved for a credit card, cross that off the list!!

I was approved! I feel positively giddy! Well, maybe I would feel giddier if the website didn't crash on me multiple times and I didn't spend 30 minutes on the phone trying to clear it up. In the end, the Discover guy gave me a multiple choice quiz about my family history. I was a bit nervous, and it didn't help that I got the first question wrong (it was oddly difficult), but I was approved! I feel so grown up!

Of course, he then proceeded to give me a long list of details re: the card, and I missed them all because I was so focused on my victory. But hopefully they will come in the mail with the card. I did note that I will be getting cash back, so I'm fairly sure I've just arrived.

Oh, also, he asked me about a hundred times if I have any loans. Pretty sure he didn't believe me that I didn't, but he approved me anyway.

To sum up, basically, this is my life now (right?):

[20somethingandlearning]

Who knew they wouldn't just hand me a social security card?

I came so prepared. I had my passport, which is officially all I needed, but then I also brought, because I am insane: my expired license, about a hundred pieces of mail, the lease to my apartment (I don't know why, but that seemed like a super good idea at the time), Atlantic magazine (more evidence that I lived in my apartment, also, something to read while I waited).

I had a good, efficient plan: I still had more to do to prepare for the weekend, so I figured I'd go straight from work, get my social security card, run over the DMV, and pick up my license. Genius! Kill two birds with one stone! Of course, it didn't quite work out that way.

The office was surprisingly peaceful. There was an annoying monsoon raging in NY last Thursday and Friday, but inside the office was weirdly calm. I went straight after work on Friday, a littler nervous about time because I signed in, take a ticket (bakery-style) and wait for your number to be called, which took me about 20 minutes. Then I got to the ticket window, where a bored but very polite woman took my passport (and refuse everything else, even my lease!), presumably 'processed' (though she could have been checking her email for between 5-10 minutes. And then...nothing. She handed me back my passport, with a receipt, and said, "Okay, all done!" I was super confused, and maybe didn't come back with my strongest response of all time. I believe what I said was, "Huh?" It went over well. I explained, even more articulately, I think, "Umm, do I get a social security card?" She then proceeded to patiently explain to me, as if I was one of the dumbest people she'd ever met, that it would come to me in the mail in the next two weeks.

Let's just make it clear right off the bat - this is my fault. I'm sure it was very clear on their website, probably underlined and bolded and all that. But I was just confused. I asked her if I could pay to have it on the spot, and she just laughed.

So basically, that whole plan, social security office and DMV, an efficient Friday, yeah, that didn't work. But at least, I have done part A of step 1, and as soon as my social security card shows up in the next two weeks, I will be able to drive! Of course, that means that there's a good chance I won't have a license before my gyno appointment, in which case, we have some issues. See! #allthedrama!

[20somethingandlearning]

Background: why this summer is the Summer of Change; or, why i must become an adult in the next 45 days

Well, here's a little background for y'all.

I grew up in a small town in New Jersey. I went away for college, but not far enough that I really felt 'away' - I was about a 3-hour drive away, and I had a car, so I came home about once a month. Which means that I always did laundry at home, I never had to find a new doctor, and I never had to really 'leave home,' mentally. When I graduated, I came home for a few months before moving to the city - New York, that is. I've been living here for about a year and a half now, and it's amazing.

But, like most people in my age bracket and social circles, although I live in New York, my life is tied to my parents' home. My bank account statements and the rest of my mail comes to their house - heck, my college mails their donation requests (ha) to my parents' house - all of my doctors are within a 10-mile radius, etc.

But, alas, no longer. Everything will be changing this summer. And here is why:

1. My parents moved.

This picture is not my house, but it could have been! The important implication of that move, because remember, we are the selfish generation, is that the address I have always used, for EVERYTHING - is no longer valid. This affects everything, credit cards, insurance, magazine subscriptions, drivers license. Which leads us to...

2. My drivers license expired.

I'm pretty sure this is a picture of Scotty Pippen, but that's not the point. The point is that, silly me, when I saw that my license was expiring, I thought A. Who cares, I have plenty of time to deal with this and B. I never drive anyway, I live in NY, I can TOTALLY ignore this! (Guess if I was right about either of those.)

3. I am turning 26 this summer.

As 20somethings know, in this age of Obamacare, 26 has suddenly turned into a milestone where we are finally pushed off of our parents' health insurance and forced to spend gobs of our hard-earned money on our own. I love my job - it's intellectually, spiritually and personally fulfilling - but one of its drawbacks is the lack of health insurance. Which means that although I've been taking advantage of my mother's excellent insurance for 25 years and 10 months (and it really is excellent - covered new glasses every year, braces, no sweat!), it will now be time for me to venture out into the world on my own. The expensive world of health care.

Of course, realizing that I have two more months of virtually free healthcare have pushed me over the brink. I made frantic doctor appointments last week - to my primary physician, dentist, eye doctor, and gynecologist. I'm super not looking forward to any of them, especially, as you might suspect, the gyno.

But here's where it gets more complicated. You see why #3 might cause a problem, and my solution (go to the doctors) is a good solution. And #2 isn't such a big deal, is it? Well, normally it isn't, but please refer back to #1 - I don't live at the address listed on my license anymore! Okay, you answer patiently, but who cares, you live in the city, do you really need to drive? Good point, you, but then we have to refer back to #3 - I'm going to a billion doctor appointments IN NEW JERSEY over the next few weeks! And I need to drive! Ahhhhh! So I need a new license, and one that represents my actual address. Please note the symbolism dripping.

And then things just snowballed. I decided that this was the Summer of Change. I am going to do things that adults do, that I haven't gotten around to doing, because you know what, it's time.

So, this is what needs to happen over the next little while. I've already started the process, and don't worry, you'll hear all about it. Every excruciating detail:

Get a new social security card. I lost this card when I was about 10, which is valid, because kids lose stuff. (Frankly, I blame this one on my parents.) Why do I need this? Because...

Get a new licence, one that represents my true NY address. And - surprise! - to get an out-of-state license transferred to a NY license, you need a social security card! Like, literally. It is in caps and underlined all over their website. It doesn't if you show up with birth certificate, passport, a hundred pieces of mail, the doctor who delivered you, etc. Without that little card, you'll be taking the subway forever.

Doctors, doctors, doctors. In chronological order of my appointments:

Gynecologist (obviously will be terrifying)

Opthamologist (just because it can't hurt)

Dentist (pretty sure I have a cavity; #horrified)

Primary card physician (again, cuz why not)

Things that don't need to happen before I'm 26, but should just happen  because, you know, Summer of Change:

Get a credit card. I currently have the same cards I've had in my wallet since I bought my first wallet at 14. The debit card hooked up to my bank account and the American Express which my name on it that my mom pays for. Since college, I don't even remember using this card, honestly, because my mom doesn't really pay for my things, but I always have it, just in case. But I'm growing up, and it's time to get a credit card! It's time to get miles, and cash back, and other grown up things! (Any and all advice is appreciated on this one.)

...Other things I have not yet fully thought out. Examples include: returning items to the store when I can still get cash back, not only store credit; take better care of my body (diet and exercise both); start thinking about which shoes to wear with which outfit.

And that's my story! Follow my adventures for the next few months, as I begin this whirlwind. (Well, that might be dramatic. It might be more like...semi-interesting. I hope.)

Also, I do want to stress that there are some awesome benefits to this process, though it seems like a pain in the neck. And that's besides for, like, 'taking care of my body' - cuz whatever, amirite? No, the REAL benefit here is that as soon as I get my NY license, I get to vote for the mayor of NY! Which is so much more fun than any local elections in NJ. Right now, I'm leaning towards Bill De Blasio, partially because of his awesome progressive political opinions, partially because of his son's awesome hair. (See family picture for evidence of said hair.) So that's that.