20yearstostart - Tumblr blog

[20yearstostart]

I’m sorry, but why would she have Nesta and Eris have such a fire dance number if they is going to be nothing there? I know for a fact my baby Eris is a good man in a bad situation, and once he overthrows Barren it’ll be all good. 

But chances are there will be no over throwing barren because isn’t Rhys just going to become King or something? I mean, good for Rhys, but like I want more spice then Nesta and Casian just doing it everywhere. I mean, thanks for helping her or whatever, but I aint satisfied. 

[20yearstostart]

Nothing about this is romantic or cute. You’re an idiot being disposal to another fucker who doesn’t give two fucks about you. 

[20yearstostart]

It’s okay now, I am better than everyone else

Getting on Tinder to get over him, only to realise I really did like him. And my heart hurts thinking of another person in that way, and no one I’ve ever met compares to him, and I don’t think anyone ever will. I don’t know what I could’ve changed but god, my hearts so much I can’t breathe. But it’s good material, haven’t felt these emotions in so long. But I want to be loved too. I want to be loved like he loves her and more, so much more.

[20yearstostart]

Getting on Tinder to get over him, only to realise I really did like him. And my heart hurts thinking of another person in that way, and no one I’ve ever met compares to him, and I don’t think anyone ever will. I don’t know what I could’ve changed but god, my hearts so much I can’t breathe. But it’s good material, haven’t felt these emotions in so long. But I want to be loved too. I want to be loved like he loves her and more, so much more.

[20yearstostart]

Dear Blank, 

When I was younger, I used to lie in my bed and stare at the ceiling. I spent so many nights counting the glow in the dark stars, and the rest just thinking. One ear would be fetched far away in the other room, the other would listen to my head. 

Every night when I cried and wished for something more, I kept telling myself “This is not my life.” 

It was almost like a mantra that kept me going through those years. This was not my life, this was not it, this was not it would all be. I would leave one day, one day it’ll all be different. 

It is different now. 

I barely have the same people in my life anymore. I barely have the same problems.

The problems have gotten bigger, more added on the ever-growing list. But I can do this. I can, and I will. 

Failure is an option, but stopping is not. 

I won’t stop, no matter how much i want to, I won’t. 

I’ll take a step back. I’ll go to the beach, look at the stars and cry my heart out, but I will not stop. 

I won’t let what happened define me. I will never let things that happen to me define me. I will be defined by the things I do. 

I made a stupid decision, but he was a bad person. He was terrible, not me. I was a normal girl in her twenties living her life. He is the one who should live with the fear of it all catching up to him one day. He is the one who should feel ashamed when he thinks of me that night. When he remembers what he did, the way my body, I, was saying no. I hate that my face showed him fear, and I hate the fact that that was what got him going. My face was what made him finish within seconds. 

The quickest sex of my life left the most scars. 

I can’t sit in other people’s cars anymore. 

I can’t drink and sit in other people’s cars anymore. 

I can’t watch a movie without getting triggered. 

I can’t sit and think too long because every thing, everything just comes back to that one night. I can’t wear the cute outfit anymore, not have chicken nuggets from McDonalds. I can’t do so much anymore. 

But life moves on. 

And I will be okay. I am okay. 

[20yearstostart]

Sometimes I take pictures of myself and it’s a work of art. And then sometimes not, and that’s okay. But when it’s good, I want the whole world to see it and be like “oh is this how you see yourself?” And I’ll be like “yeah” and they’ll be like “cool, that’s how I see you too” and then we live happily ever after.

[20yearstostart]

Actually the MOST cottagecore thing is fighting for indigenous sovereignty and then working communally on the land to support each other as well as the environment while not upholding colonial ideologies

[20yearstostart]

So far no benefits, barely would classify him as a friend

Guess who entered another friends with benefit? And this one is going to be a train wreck! Can’t wait! xoxo

[20yearstostart]

Guess who entered another friends with benefit? And this one is going to be a train wreck! Can’t wait! xoxo

[20yearstostart]

Prediction:

Joo Woo-Jae will become the new member of running man.

[20yearstostart]

How do y’all sleep on call with someone? Aren’t you worried about snoring?????

[20yearstostart]

IVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR YEARS NOW!!!!

[20yearstostart]

"[...] as one in a trance, at a Greek gem carved with the figure of Adonis.

He had been seen, so the tale ran, pressing his warm lips to the marble brow of an antique statue that had been discovered in the bed of the river on the occasion of the building of the stone bridge, and was inscribed with the name of the Bithynian slave of Hadrian.

He had passed a whole night in noting the effect of the moonlight on a silver image of Endymion."

Oscar Wilde, A House of Pomegranates

[20yearstostart]

MISCOMMUNICATION TROPE SUCKS FUCKING ASS OMFGGGGGGG

[20yearstostart]

I like listening to Lana del Ray and imagining a self-indulgent life where I live only for myself and no one else

[20yearstostart]

with the right mind, every fic is a fanfic.

[20yearstostart]

I’m sorry but the way miss taylor been talking about joe had me thinking he’s just a boy from her hometown she reconnected with. not a whole ass successful actor.