Switching over to @lovelyliesx3
I need a fresh start.
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thinspo:
when i wanna eat something, i just think “ is it really worth it? is it really what you want instead of being skinny?”
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this is where scientists conducted genetic experiments on me
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do you "feel fat"? or do you feel unattractive. do you "feel fat"? or do you feel lazy and unmotivated. do you "feel fat"? or do you feel unworthy.
stop using "fat" as a synonym for your negative self image. "fat" is a body type, not a feeling.
what are you really feeling.
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Me: starves, binges and purges on a regular basis
My body: starts feeling sick and has constant stomach issues
Me:
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So apparently my new thing is to
🌟Starve🌟
all day and then
🌟eat at night🌟
like the fat fuck I am
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Person: But, you’re not fat!
Me: I’m not skinny tho
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Getting so thin that my boyfriend can throw me over his shoulder like nothing.
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“Disordered Eating” Things
- Simultaneously eating like a normal person and mentally lashing yourself for it.
- Not eating when you feel angry or sad, but then a few hours later you eat a bag of chocolate marshmallows because you somehow convince yourself it doesn’t count.
- “I shouldn’t have done that”
- Looking at thinspo at night and crying because you feel ugly
- The 5th grader pitch screaming in your head as you take another bite of food.
- a week of super healthy eating and working out followed by two weeks of unhealthy eating
- constantly shifting of wanting to look like a toned fitness model, to a thicc slim, to a skeleton fairy
- *eating something* *someone comments on the thing you are eating* *stops eating thing* *50/50 chance you may eat it later*
- oh yeah, random moments of eating something before spontaneously destroying the food or tossing it
- “Okay, after this weekend, I’m fasting”
- wishing you were anorexic knowing you shouldn't
- body dysmorphia
- Calling it disordered eating because you don’t feel deserving of calling it an ed
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Gonna try and see how much weight I can possibly lose in this doctor ordered isolation!! I have another week off from work so it’ll be easier to work out until I drop!!!
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17kg/37,4lb difference I think?
today vs July 2019 (not my start weight but halfway progress I guess)
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IDK if this is just me
But I just want to be a little underweight, not deathly skinny. I just want to lose fat, then gain a little muscle weight. It might be because I’m massive but idk
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