2econddesire - Tumblr blog

[2econddesire]

Mystic falls high school is not my favorite place…what’s new?

[2econddesire]

Let the sun warm your soul ☀️

[2econddesire]

Witches Grimoire Aesthetic

[2econddesire]

It’s been weeks, I haven’t heard from anyone. School has stated back and I am passed in the halls like I don’t even exist at all. I know we only hung out briefly but it still bothers me. So far my fresh start hasn’t been fresh at all. I thought I left this all behind me, the old me. The girl with the messed up family who was outcasted. The girl who was always alone and quiet and the only conversation being the millions of thoughts in my head. A lot happened back home with my family, they think I’m weird and different somehow. I don’t disagree I mean I only ever got along or had similarities with my aunt. So that’s why when my family kicked me out she was gracious enough to give me the funds to get back on my feet and start over somewhere new.

This was supposed to be my somewhere new. I guess it’s not though. Everyday I wake up, walk into town for my coffee, chat with Matt for a few as we walk to school together. He’s the only one that will speak to me. Come to find out he is a part of their friend group and whenever they spot us together they speak to Matt and it feels like I’m only briefly acknowledged because I am with him and they aren’t totally rude. Other than that they give me curious looks from across the hall or town or wherever we happen to be at the same time.

I’m in the library right now reading this random book I found in my locker, it was already in there on our first day back. I figured someone must have left it from last year meaning they clearly didn’t care for it much. It was huge and old and full of old words that sounded like gibberish, a different language almost but I somehow understood them. As I’m sitting there reading the book is suddenly snatched from my grasp.

“Where the hell did you get this? Your in town from all of 5 minutes and you’re stealing from people.” I looked up to be met with a very angry Bonnie.

“What are you talking about I didn’t steal it. I found it in MY locker.” I snatched the book back.

“Hey hey what’s going on?” Stefan approached us. I felt uneasy.

“This is my grams and she stole it like a psycho.” This girl was relentless.

“I didn’t steal anything it was in my locker when I first opened it on the first day. God, just when I thought I could actually start over and make friends and live a good life for once, the universe proves me wrong yet again.” I stormed out completely fed up. I had straight for the exit leaving into the parking lot. I shoved the book back in my back planning on heading for my house. As I was doing so I heard something hit the ground, I turned to look and it was the moonstone that fell from my bag. I keep it with my in hopes it would bring me some good luck but I’m starting to think the stupid thing is cursed with the luck I have. I stand up turning around after grabbing it and I’m stopped dead in my tracks. Standing in front of me is Stefan with his stupid perfect hair. I don’t understand how he got here so fast I didn’t even hear him exit the school behind me.

“Hey you okay? Wait where did you get that?” He asked

“I’m fine and I found it why?”

“You have a habit of finding things that don’t belong to you.”

“Oh what are you here to tell me that this is hers too?” I sassed.

“ No, but I am gonna need you to give it to me.” He said with all the seriousness in the world.

“Not happening, finders keepers.” I pushed past him but he grabbed my wrist hard stopping me. He looked directly in my eyes as his pupils dilated. What the hell?

“Give me the moonstone and the grimoire. And forget this happened.” What in the actual hell is wrong with this guy and what does he think he is trying to do.

I laughed snatching my hand from his grasp and walked away. “Not happening. And to think I thought I was the weird one.” I scoffed and continued on my way home.

[2econddesire]

infinite now

[2econddesire]

Good Morning Mystic

Well I got a solid 3 hours of sleep and now I’m off to the grill for that coffee. I’m definitely gonna need it if I plan on finding out what’s going on in this town…

Walking into town I noticed Bonnie, Elena and some guy I hadn’t met yet standing in the town center. They were deep in what looked like a serious conversation. I decided to eavesdrop, I know I shouldn’t but I just could not help myself, after all I am trying to uncover whatever this town is hiding right? I got close enough to hear but not close enough to be spotted.

“I’m serious Elena, she’s like me I could feel it.” Bonnie stated frantically trying to prove her point.

“What do you mean exactly you could feel it?” The unknown guy with freakishly good hair asked.

“Well we sat down right and it felt almost like a vibration of energy between us. If she is like me then she could definitely feel it too. There is no way she could ignore something that strong.”

Wait was she talking about me? She had to have been because that’s the same thing I felt when we were having dinner the other night. But what does she mean I’m like her? I decided it was time to blow my cover.

“Bonnie! Elena! Hey what’s up?” I acted surprised walking over to them.

“Hey Jess we were just out and about. It’s good to see you again” Elena stated very genuinely.

“Yeah it’s good to see you guys to. I just came to get some much needed caffeine.”

“Well the grills got the best coffee you can get in town. Oh gosh I’m so sorry, this is Stefan my boyfriend.”

“Hey it’s so nice to meet you I’m Jessica” I stuck my hand out to shake. He gave me a curious/weird stare for a few seconds before smiling and stating it was nice to meet me to. I couldn’t shake the feeling I got when we shook hands. All I felt was…well death. After this we parted ways and the continued with hushed chatter as I crossed the street to the grill. I turned back as I opened the door. Just as I could feel, they were all staring at me.. what in the hell is going on.

I walked into the grill only to be met with those familiar blue eyes from the their day. Matt was working again. I walked up to the bar and grabbed a seat. “I hope you don’t plan on drinking before noon, it’s not that bad here is it?” Matt was clearly joking and we both laughed. “Nope just need lots of caffeine in my system unfortunately.” I replied. He gave me a smile and started pouring me a large cup of coffee. He slide it my way and I replied with a small thank you.

“So how are you liking it here so far?”

“I love it so far, although…” I pondered my nexts words.

“It’s a little strange here. I feel like everyone knows something I don’t.” I laughed nervously. I watched him careful. His face got so serious.

“Yeah tell me about it, seems like most of my friends have so much more than just school and parties going on, if you know what I mean. But that’s just how it is here, a lot is kept quiet I guess.” He knew exactly what I was talking about I mean he didn’t even question it for a second. He related to how I was feeling which immediately told me I definitely wasn’t going to get any answer from him. We talked a bit more before the morning rush came in then I just grabbed my coffee and decided to explore town for a bit.

The air was cool with a slight breeze that sent shivers down my spine, but it was more than that. With each step I felt the uneasiness grow, there was a large pit in my stomach. As I turned the corner I bumped into someone and my now half full cup of coffee fell to the ground.

“Shit sorry I wasn’t paying attention.” I looked up at the unknown person only to see a familiar face.

“Elena hey again” I laughed but then I noticed she look completely different from when I just saw her almost an hour ago.

“Decided you didn’t like the outfit you were wearing?” I questioned.

“Yeah I always look so drab.. thought I’d switch it up ya know. Anyways got to go see you around” she hurried off. Seeming as though she wanted to be anywhere else than in a conversation with me right now. Makes sense I guess like I said I’ve never been a girls girl. I managed to scare off the only friends I’ve made in only a matter of a few days of being in town. Greaaat.

[2econddesire]

My mind won’t shut off. I closed my eyes in hope of sleep almost 3 hours ago. I’ve only been in town for a few days and maybe I’m still adjusting but I can’t shake the feeling that is has something to do with this place I chose to call my new home. Not in the sense of me not lik8ng it here, I love it I really do but this feels like something more, something darker. As I’ve said before the minute I crossed the bored into the town I could feel the energy of the place. Everyone is so nice but also odd in a sense of that they know something I don’t. It won’t be that way for long.. because I plan on finding it out starting first thing in the morning. Or at least after some coffee..

[2econddesire]

A “moonstone” is all that I found that it could possibly be which is said to harvest the energy of the moon. It also promotes healing and balance and is said to enhance intuition.. speaking of intuition, something tells me this isn’t all that it means.

I feel like I’m being watched, I know it sounds crazy but here me out. Has anyone ever felt eyes on them and sometimes you look up to see someone looking at you? It’s like that but when I look up or turn around here is nobody near me.. a part of me feels paranoid wi5h just moving to a new town all by myself to start over but a part of me also knows and feels very strongly that this means something…

I don’t know, I just hope I can sleep tonight.

I keep seeing this man in my dreams he looks so familiar but I don’t know him..or maybe I do?

[2econddesire]

Currently sitting at my manifesting nook in my new home.. I was able to get a bunch of pretty new crystals for my collection and strangely enough I found a oval clear one right outside of the cemetery I pass on my way home… super weird but I definitely picked it up and brought it home with me it fits perfectly with my collection!

I’m not sure what kind of crystal it is but I plan on doing some research… I don’t know why but i keep getting this pit in my stomach and feeling that it’s something really important..maybe I’m crazy though.

[2econddesire]

“

Tell me darling, would you still love me If I told you about the monsters I need to sing to sleep every night?

If you understood the way I need to tiptoe across my own mind so I can fall asleep before daylight?

if you knew where the nightmares came from, if you saw my scarred soul, would being with me terrify you?

If you knew the full extent of the damage they have done to me, would you stay, would you still want to?

”

— Nikita Gill, Questions I Am Too Broken to Ask

[2econddesire]

“Perhaps it is true that we do not really exist until there is someone there to see us existing, we cannot properly speak until there is someone who can understand what we are saying in essence, we are not wholly alive until we are loved.”

— Alain de Botton, Essays in Love

[2econddesire]

Why can’t I remember who he is?

The smell of his cologne lingers in the air.

The accent thick on his tongue, but what were the words he spoke?

Was it all a dream? A fiction of my imagination?

[2econddesire]

Dinner with New Friends?

I walked in to the mystic grill and of course I’m the first one here. I didn’t know if I should go ahead and get a table or what, so I was just standing there awkwardly looking around to make sure I didn’t possibly overlook them.

A few seconds later a boy with bright blue eyes walked up to me and and asked if everything was okay.

“ hey is everything okay? You look a little lost.” He shot me a charming smile.

“Oh yea sorry.. I’m new in town and was supposed to be meeting some girls I met today here for dinner.” I looked down anxiously.

“ no worries! I’m Matt, Matt Donovan. Go ahead and sit anywhere you’d like! And welcome to town...” he paused briefly looking to me for my name.

“ Jessica, but everyone calls me Jess. And thank you it’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, Jess.”

I walked over to the booth section and grabbed one. I waited for a good bit and when I checked my phone for the time, they were 45 minutes late.. they probably decided to bail. I don’t blame them, they don’t even know me.

I grabbed my things an started to exit the booth I bumped right into Caroline.

“Hey oh my gosh I am so sorry we’re are so late! We uhh got kind of held up with something.” She looked to the other girls nervously.

“For 1 we have got to stop meeting like this, secondly don’t worry about it although I will admit I thought you guys didn’t really want to bother with the new girl.” I laughed. They all smiled sympathetically and said their “of course nots”.

The four of us sat down in the booth and anxiously looked at the menu. I was trying to focus on the menu but I couldn’t shake this odd feeling I’m having. I’m sitting next to Bonnie and I feel this weird sort of vibration between us.. it’s like our energy is connected some how. I’m trying my very best to ignore it but from her hesitant glances out the corner of her eyes and can’t help but wonder if she feels it to..

Eventually we finished up with dinner and it was time for us to go our separate ways.

“Thanks for being so welcoming, if I’m being honest I had no intentions on making friends so fast.” I admitted.

“Of course it was so nice meeting you! We should exchange numbers so we can hangout again soon!” Elena exclaimed sweetly while grabbing my phone and giving me hers. I got all of their numbers and they got mine, we said our goodbyes and I was off to my new home to unpack more boxes.

I’m not sure what exactly happened on my way home but all I remember was walking and as I was about to pass this man he stopped me.. It’s strange because I can’t remember what he looked like or what he said. The only thing I can remember was his accent..

Anyway I am home now taking my sweet time unlocking the door because let’s be honest, I do not want to tackle all of this unpacking tonight…

[2econddesire]

“

Tell me darling, would you still love me If I told you about the monsters I need to sing to sleep every night?

If you understood the way I need to tiptoe across my own mind so I can fall asleep before daylight?

if you knew where the nightmares came from, if you saw my scarred soul, would being with me terrify you?

If you knew the full extent of the damage they have done to me, would you stay, would you still want to?

”

— Nikita Gill, Questions I Am Too Broken to Ask

[2econddesire]

[2econddesire]

“Why must I choose between being an angel and speaking my mind?”

Blog Aesthetic for @aureate-gutierrez

[2econddesire]

Time to go to dinner at the mystic grill... here’s to new friendships I guess, fingers crossed.