2kidult

[2kidult]

rewatching gossip girl and it's making me want a socialite dr. i'm daydreaming about being the kind of person who knows which wine pairs with existential conversations and can make small talk feel like philosophical discourse.

but then most socialite circles are performance art disguised as friendship. all surface-level charm and strategic networking. i want the aesthetic of it all, the flowing conversations, the spontaneous dinner parties, the feeling of being genuinely connected to interesting people without the hollowness that usually comes with it.

maybe what i actually want is to curate my own version. less "desperate housewives meets gossip girl" and more "virginia woolf's bloomsbury group but with more champagne." intimate gatherings with people who read books that matter, who can discuss art, who understand that vulnerability is the most sophisticated accessory.

craving social elevation while simultaneously judging the very culture i want to enter... i want to be desired and admired but only by people who see past the performance to whatever authentic thing exists underneath.

socialite energy without the social climbing. magnetic without the manipulation. is that even possible? probably not. but the fantasy persists.

[2kidult]

there's three weeks until i escape this academic purgatory but first i have to survive these exams that are literally trying to steal my soul.

i've got this collection of half-written drafts sitting in my folder like literary orphans, all these fragments of thoughts that deserve better than my current caffeinated panic state.

once i'm officially free from the institutional machine, i'm planning this whole renaissance moment where i actually finish things and release them into the world. so basically.. i'm in my hermit era by necessity, not choice.

also genuinely vibrating with excitement to share all my drafts and dive into the lore. i've shifted multiple times these past few days and there has been some serious plot twists. can't wait to unpack all of it once my brain isn't being held hostage by academic obligations.

[2kidult]

sorry if this is stupid lol but what's shifting? I've seen like 3 shifting blogs on my tumblr and idk what it is lol

reality shifting 🫶

[2kidult]

Really need to know more about on how you applied the anti method. Did you take some days to shift? What helped you?

it wasn't some magical one-time thing. i tried the anti-method a few times and kept getting frustrated because i couldn't actually let go. like my brain would be going "ok now let go… are you letting go yet? is this what letting go feels like?" which is… the opposite of letting go

after getting annoyed with myself i just stopped trying altogether. took a break from shifting completely for a bit, where i wasn't even thinking about it.

when i then got back to shifting again, i decided to try again but this time i wasn't carrying all that baggage of "i need to make this work" you know?

when you come back from a break you're approaching it fresh instead of trying to recreate some perfect letting-go experience from before. sometimes you need to completely forget about shifting to remember how to actually not care about the outcome.

some nights i feel the old patterns clawing back, the need to visualize, to affirm, to do something. my brain would fact-check me back into limitation: "you're still here, still stuck, still pretending." and i learned and am continuing to learn to let those thoughts move through me like weather. not fighting them, not feeding them, just watching them pass.

[2kidult]

Can I use the same way to manifest?😭

yes you can absolutely use the same approach for manifesting !!!

okay so shifting and manifesting aren't completely identical, like obviously they're different flavors different contexts different intended outcomes. shifting is about stepping into entirely different realities while manifesting is about reshaping this one.

but at the core you're still doing the same fundamental thing: you're moving your consciousness. you're refusing to accept current circumstances as permanent. you're aligning with a different version of what's possible.

the anti-method works for both because it's not really about the destination it's about that core assumption shift. that moment when you stop trying to get something and start operating like you already have it.

so with manifesting instead of "i need to attract money" you hold that same gentle knowing "i already have it, it's already mine" not as a question to solve but as this soft interruption to your brain's scarcity programming

you're not performing manifestation you're not doing techniques you're just... not buying into the story that says you lack anything

your current circumstances become background noise. irrelevant data from an old version of reality that you're not particularly interested in anymore

whether you call it shifting to your rich girl dr or manifesting financial freedom, you're still consciousness rearranging itself around a different assumption about what's real

the labels matter way less than the fact that it works. you stop trying you start assuming and reality catches up because it has no choice

[2kidult]

how to treat our dr as default? people say to ignore the 3d and live there, but i still don’t know how.

you're rewiring your brain's gps system to point somewhere completely different. right now your subconscious has the 3d programmed as this reality, like no matter where your thoughts wander, they always ping back to your cr as the measuring stick for what's real and possible. but when you make your dr the default, you're changing the coordinates.

the ignoring 3d part isn't about pretending you don't see bills or homework or whatever. it's about emotional detachment from those things being permanent or meaningful.

like yeah you might be sitting in math class but internally you're just visiting. you're a tourist. this isn't your real life, it's just where your awareness happens to be focused right now while the universe handles the logistics of getting you home.

your dr becomes the lens through which you interpret everything else. so when something annoying happens in the 3d, instead of taking it personal it becomes "lol this reality is so weird, anyway back to planning my dr morning routine"

you're not fighting the 3d or forcing yourself to feel good about it. you're just... not taking it personally anymore because it's not actually about you

[2kidult]

i saw your post talking about how it took u 2 years and u shifted, and i feel stuck in a similar place

on and off since 2021-ish, i have started to lose hope. i genuinely believe in shifting with everything i have, i have had very little doubts on it’s existence, i just feel like i can’t do it. i have tried so many different things and i just haven’t found what’s right for me. i almost got to the void state once a few months back but since then i haven’t had any luck with anything. i tried the anti-method a few times recently and i didn’t have any results. i know it’s not YOUR method, but you shifted with it, so im wondering if u have any advice with it in general. tysm.

i read a lot of ur posts btw, i love them, keep it up 👍

what you're describing, that place between belief and breakthrough, where hope feels fragile, it's not failure. it's the exact landscape where transformation lives. you've been circling something real for years now, not because you're doing it wrong or because you can't shift, but because you're approaching the edge of something that requires you to dissolve rather than construct.

the anti-method isn't really about technique. it's about recognizing that the very premise of "trying to shift" is the thing creating the gap. when you almost reached the void months ago, what happened wasn't luck running out, it was your mind rushing back in to rebuild the story of separation. that's what minds do. they're meaning-making machines.

the fact that you almost reached the void means you already know how to let go. your consciousness already knows how to dissolve the boundaries. the only thing that's changed is that your mind got scared and started working overtime to convince you it was a fluke.

when you approach the anti-method again, don't chase that almost-void moment or you dr like it was a destination you missed. let your brain scramble for proof. let it catalog every sensation, every doubt, every reason why "this can't be it." but underneath that noise, hold the gentlest possibility: what if you're already there? what if you just forgot?

sending you so much love. you're closer than you think. 🤍

[2kidult]

Do you plan on shifting back permanently? How did you even shift back was it like a lapse?

yes, i plan on permashifting one day. but i also know i don’t want to drag my current self there half-formed and panicked. not because i’m afraid of that life, but because i want to meet it fully.

also a part of me isn’t completely ready to give this reality up. there are threads here i still want to finish weaving. people i still love. lessons that feel mid-sentence. walking away without honoring that would feel like leaving the lights on in a house i’m not done living in.

as for shifting back. no, it wasn’t a lapse. it didn’t break. i didn’t fall out. i wasn’t “kicked out” or jolted awake. it wasn’t dramatic at all, and that almost made it harder to explain. it was soft, weirdly quiet. like my consciousness just folded inward and turned the page. i went to sleep there and woke up here.

[2kidult]

hi ;) a question about your recent shift, if you don't mind: did you mean to come back, or did it just happen? by your post, i got the impression that you spent an entire day there and went to sleep on your bed there and woke up here, is that it? anyways, congrats on shifting <3

hi <3

i had scripted people in that i was supposed to encounter around town in the upcoming days, and suddenly the weight of actually meeting them felt enormous. like i'd spent so long daydreaming of this life but never considered what it would mean to actually live it. to show up for conversations and relationships. it wasn't fear exactly, more like standing at the edge of an ocean you've always wanted to swim in and realizing you're still learning how to float.

so when night came and i was lying in that cloud-soft bed with its lavender scent clinging to the pillowcase, there was this quiet knowing. not defeat, but recognition. i wasn't running away, but i was choosing to meet it from a place of readiness rather than overwhelm.

but now i'm approaching it differently. less desperate wanting, more gentle becoming. preparing not just to visit but to actually inhabit that life fully. i want to meet people feeling comfortable instead of overwhelmed.

yes, waking up here was jarring because it was chosen. but it helped knowing i could return when i'm ready to fully inhabit that version of myself.

[2kidult]

[2kidult]

[2kidult]

heyy so what did it feel like when u shifted did u keep asking and spiraling and then what happens did u feel anything or see anything ?

hii !!

so, i was spiraling and overthinking and it was like being trapped in a hall of mirrors made of my own doubt. every question created three new ones until i was basically cross-examining myself into paralysis. it was mental quicksand. the more i struggled, the deeper i sank.

but i stopped trying to win against my own thoughts. i didn’t fight them, silence them or reframe them into something positive. i let them exist. fully. like background static i didn’t owe a reaction to. once i stopped putting so much of my energy and focus into those thoughts, they stopped mattering.

it didn't happen during some perfect meditative moment, but it was more realizing that i was already there.

so no, i didn't feel myself leave one reality and enter another. the best way to describe it is recognition. i recognized that i was somewhere else, the way you recognize your own handwriting or the sound of your own breathing.

it wasn't dramatic. it wasn't some portal opening with sparkles and movie music. it was more like... closing my eyes in one reality and opening them in another?

the mind really does love to complicate what's actually quite simple.

[2kidult]

the urge to steal olivia rodrigo’s entire discography for my fame dr. sorry. but those songs are mine now. i lived them. i cried in a recording booth about a boy who doesn’t exist here but ruined my life.

[2kidult]

hey congrats on shifting again omg!!! if it’s okay to ask, did you use any method this time around or was it more like mindset + letting go? i’ve been trying for a while now and i’m super curious if something in your routine changed or if it just happened 😭 either way i’m so happy for you fr <33

hiii thank you so much!! <3

after almost 2 years of trying literally every method on the menu (including redoing my nighttime routine 40 different ways), i hit a point of cognitive fatigue. i realized i wasn’t failing because i wasn’t doing enough. i was failing because i kept assuming i had to do specific things in order to shift. so i used @hrrtshape’s anti-method (linked here) and let the assumption unravel. i laid down, let my brain spiral, and held a single thought like a match in the dark:

“what if i already shifted and just forgot?”

that was it. not a hypothesis, not a question to test, but just an epistemic interruption. something that bypassed all my intellectual resistance. the shift happened when the assumption collapsed. i stopped treating the dr like a destination and started recognizing it as default. i wasn’t locked out. i was just still playing along with a story that said i was.

and yeah, my brain fought it. it tried to fact-check me back into place. “you're still in your room.” “you're not shifting.” “you're still in your cr.” and that’s fine. it’s supposed to do that. i didn't argue back. i just kept holding that thought that i'd forgotten i'd shifted. once you let go of the narrative, the mind doesn't know how to defend its own limitation.

so if you’re exhausted from trying? good. that’s your entry point. that’s the system cracking. let it. not in defeat, but in relief. the void isn’t something you summon. it’s what’s left when you stop performing.

i didn’t shift by effort. i shifted because i stopped assuming i hadn’t. you’re already in your dr, you have already shifted.

<3

[2kidult]

Hii!! How did you stay hopeful during those 2 years of not shifting?? Like mentally what helped you come back to it again? I’ve been feeling super disconnected from my DR lately and seeing your post gave me this weird sudden rush of hope lol congrats again btw 🫶 You deserve everything

hi angel !!! i didn’t stay hopeful at all. there were months where i didn’t even try and where the thought of shifting felt like pressing on a wound that wouldn't heal. i was angry, sad, numb... and then the rot set in and i was fully ready to kiss the idea of ever shifting again on the forehead and let it drift out to sea on a door from the titanic. but what kept me tethered wasn’t the certainty that i’d shift but the possibility. the fact that even on the most dreadful nights, there was still this sliver of a chance that tomorrow i’d wake up in my dr. also realizing i didn’t need to be healed or perfect or a walking affirmation machine to shift. i just had to stop treating it like a thesis defense.

so yeah. i didn’t stay hopeful. i gave up a hundred times. i buried it. rolled my eyes at it like it was a bad ex who still thought we had a shot. but it never really left. and eventually, i stopped needing it to feel sacred or holy. i stopped waiting for signs. stopped begging for proof. and i started letting it be ordinary. the more mundane it became, the more real it felt.

[2kidult]

✶ local girl shifts realities, finds god in a small town & lavender linen spray (storytime)

GUYS. GUYS. GUYS. I SHIFTED. I SHIFTED I SHIFTED I SHIFTED I SHIFTED I SHIFTEDDDDDDDD. i haven't had a successful shifting attempt in almost 2 years. TWO YEARS. i was starting to think it wasn't going to happen again??

i woke up in a bed that wasn't mine but also was. u know the type. perfectly rumpled, cloud-level soft, the kind of bed that has seen gentle mornings and lavender linen spray. sunlight pouring in through my window like god personally decided i deserved a cinematic morning. like okay??!!?? i stared at the ceiling like some idiot. and just. laid there. not thinking. not blinking. just existing. like some tragic victorian window except instead of mourning my dead husband i'm mourning clarity. or a single functional brain cell. for a second i thought i had died. it was too peaceful. too quiet. just birds and the soft sound of the curtain moving slightly in the breeze ❪ it also smelled like pines and clean laundry??? ❫

ANYWAY. i got out of bed like some dainty renaissance wife. the floors were wood, warm, and sort of creaky. i explored my very own apartment. because yes i have one. my very own. no parents. no siblings. just me. my kitchen had a espresso machine and a bowl of white peaches on the counter. there were books stacked on the windowsill, a vase with oriental lilies on the table, and a mug that looked like i had already made tea and forgotten about it.

it's above a bookstore. A BOOKSTORE!!!!! the kind with a crooked wooden sign out front and a little bell that jingles when the door opens. shelves that go all the way up to the ceiling. books in piles on the floor like no one had the heart to organize them. i went down just to look and somehow ended up talking to the shop owner about poetry for like. 40 minutes. i think i love her.

i made my way to the university i'm attending once the summer break is over. the campus is stupidly gorgeous. ivy on the walls, girls reading poetry under the trees, some guy with headphones on sketching something on a notepad under a gazebo. the buildings smelled like rain and old books and just the right amount of despair.

i didn't do much on the first day, i think i was just overwhelmed. i mostly just wandering around town with my hands shaking and my brain was switching between being too loud and too quiet.

and yes. i woke up in my cr and i think something inside of me has died. back where everything is too light and too bright and smells like bad decisions and capitalism. how do you return to normalcy after shifting? how do you go to your 8am classes and pretend nothing happened?

[2kidult]

i love scripting people into realities they don't belong in, like whats gojo doing at hogwarts ⁉️