3rrrdddyyy

[3rrrdddyyy]

🤟🏻🤟🏻🤟🏻

[3rrrdddyyy]

12-25-24

Im so glad I have tumblr where I can post anything without filters and all. Tbh I just want to get lost like ayaw ko magparamdam and magpakita na sa mga tao cause I don’t have the energy to? It’s been a month almost since the break up and I still don’t know how to process things talaga. There are time that I’m fine and I can easily shrug it pero there are days na it will come across you naturally. The hard thing about this you want to get over it so much pero I know it will took a lot of time for me. Parang pede ba may fast forward na lang? Can 2024 just end so quickly? So I can move forward na din and start a new one?

[3rrrdddyyy]

12-11-24

My eternal sunshine

Hi Karl! Prolly ur not gonna read this unless isend ko sayo. Pero hey this is our last photo together as a couple. Seeing this photo is full of mixed emotions. I was sad kasi upon examining it, I see how tired you are based sa eyes mo. I know adult life is super hard and I see how you thrive to survive it everyday. I am happy naman because this reminds me of a happy day! It was your birthday! I hope you had fun that day kahit ngayon alam ko na you’ve been dealing a lot lately.

Hold on cause this post is gonna be so long haha

First of all, thank you! Thank you for the wonderful 7 years. If you would asked me if I regretted it? No. Kasi sa span of those years, I learned that I am deserving of love and you make me feel so special. Im really thankful kasi you’re always there for me whatever happens, you became the instrument for my healing and to know myself even better. Kung wala ka during those times, I wouldn’t be here kung nasan man ako ngayon din.

Salamat kasi nakilala kita ng higit pa sa pagiging kaibigan. Hindi ka natakot sumugal at ipakilala ang sarili mo sa akin. Siguro isa yun sa mga bagay na hinangaan ko sayo.

Ngayong nandito na tayo sa puntong ito, sa kagustuhan ko mang na walang magbago sa atin, I think it happens for a good reason. What you did Karl was so painful for me na up until now na sinusulat ko to is it made questioned myself. Where did I go wrong, saan ba ako nagkulang or may mali ba sa akin. Maybe it will become a constant loop of questions na hindi masasagot. Pero I just want to let you know na Im disappointed with what you did, pero not to you as a person. If you would asked me din if masakit? Yes. Oo kasi sa 7 years na yun Karl all I did was to love you unconditionally thou sabi nga nila, Love was not enough.

Hindi ito paalam, siguro more of pagpapasalamat din ito. You are my greatest love, Karl and kung meron man akong hihilingin ay sana maabot mo lahat ng gusto mo sa buhay even thou hindi na ako ang kasama mo para abutin ang mga yun. Pero andito pa din ako will silently support you from afar. I hope din na you get to appreciate me bilang tao at yung mga bagay na nagawa ko for you kasi it symbolizes my eternal love.

Letting you go was the hardest decision, I remember I said before na If mawala ka sa akin, I will forever blame myself for that. And maybe ito na yung time na yun. I may not be good enough or atleast a good partner for you pero I tried.

Sa totoo lang, namimiss kita sobra. Pero Im just glad na nandiyan ka existing. I hope you’re doing well.

I miss you not in a sad way, but the connection we had kasi looking back, sobrang ganda ng kwento natin Karl. If this was a movie, uulit ulitin ko siya. This isn’t coming from a negative place pero there are times na I steal away and made me think na Karl you would love to see this and that. I miss doing random stuffs with you.

You will always have a special place in my heart. Maybe we aren’t meant to be, and that’s completely ok. And as tragic our story was, gusto ko lang malaman mo na lahat ng bagay na nagawa natin ng magkasama ay mananatili sa puso ko and I couldn’t replace it for the world.

I will cherish and love all the memories we had.

Until we meet again, Juji.

For the last time, mahal na mahal kita

[3rrrdddyyy]

It’s 11:34 of Dec 9. I can’t sleep

[3rrrdddyyy]

NOVEMBER 26-27, 2024

The day it ended. Thank you so much Karl for wonderful 7 years. It has been a wonderful ride with you. I love you with all my heart and I don’t regret any bit of it. I will forever cherish you and you will always have a special place in my heart. Healing for the both of us. Only time will tell, if tayo, tayo talaga. Again, Thank you

[3rrrdddyyy]

11-24-24

Ur man's friends are not ur friends. They can be nice to u, smile at u, and even bond w/ u, but once their friend cheats on u, they're not on ur side, honey. Some of them will condone his action and some will turn a blind eye. Always remember that.

[3rrrdddyyy]

11-22-24

Im lost di ko alam if tama lahat ng sinabi ko. Right now iniisip ko naman siya but not totally that it bothers me so much. I don’t know if I’m regretting my decision to still fight for it. I know as much as we wanted it to work, may problem talaga kami when communicating with each other.

I just hope sa mga susunod na araw, mas ma realize ko ito lahat fully. Hoping for our healing phase ni Karl. Mahal ko siya pero ayaw ko din na nakikita siyang nasasaktan and nag susuffer. Siguro I’ll just be here whenever he needs me. And if it permits, kung kami talaga, kami. Only time will tell.

To Karl,

Take your time. Will always be here

[3rrrdddyyy]

Today has been a whirlwind of emotions, and I can’t shake off this nagging feeling of frustration with Karl. It’s not that I want to feel this way—it’s the last thing I want—but something about how things unfolded today has left me upset.

We had plans, or at least I thought we did. I had been looking forward to spending time with him, even if it was something simple like grabbing coffee or just talking about our day. Instead, it felt like he was distracted, almost distant. Maybe it’s nothing—maybe I’m overthinking—but it stung when he brushed off my attempts to connect.

I tried to bring up what was bothering me, but the conversation didn’t go anywhere. It’s like he wasn’t ready to talk, and honestly, I wasn’t sure how to bring it up without sounding accusatory. So, I let it slide, but now I’m left with all these unspoken words and unacknowledged feelings.

I love Karl; there’s no doubt about that. But right now, I feel a little invisible, like my feelings don’t matter as much as I wish they did. Maybe tomorrow will bring clarity. Maybe it’s just one of those days.

For now, I just need to breathe, let myself feel what I feel, and figure out the best way to approach him when I’m calmer. I know we can work through this—we always do.

Here’s to a better tomorrow.

[3rrrdddyyy]

Im doing good, im on some new shit

[3rrrdddyyy]

Please give me a sign not to let go. Pagod na ako with this type of setup. Idk If I’m happy anymore

[3rrrdddyyy]

First week in Manila

July 31 - Aug 4, 2023

Hello 👋🏻 it’s me hi jk

Im writing this at exactly 1:20 in the morning ng Aug 5 lol! Idk it’s the coffee na ininom ko siguro from class earlier.

Ok so where do I start? So this week, I start my onsite review for the board exam. Yes you heard it right. So as usual may conflicts sa paghatid and pagsundo. Classes starts at exactly 8am so no choice ang kekisaur to commute. Lowkey im scared kasi hindi ko alam how the environment from Manila was, thou exciting din naman kasi I get to explore the city.

Tbh I have no idea how to get there at first so I message Tricia to help me since sabi is malapit lang siya from UST. Nakarating naman po ako ng safe opo pero yung kaba ko is unmatched hahaha todo tago ng phone, wallet kahit tumblr kaloka.

[3rrrdddyyy]

Long time no post tumblr

In my almost 6 years relationship with Karl, I don’t remember him giving me actual flowers. It’s not that I wanted it or demand him to give me but it’s not just my thing? Idk or since I haven’t received any flowers from anyone before. This day, even though we are miles apart, I find it so sweet na naalala niya ako by picking this flowers. He may not give it to me personally pero the thought of him giving me one makes me really really happy. I can’t help to reminisce the days when we spent most of our time in each other’s arms.

Thank you for giving me this :>

[3rrrdddyyy]

Tbh I’m kinda expecting this to happened since we are miles away. I always shrug the thought of it kasi I am so busy dealing with a lot of things including work (which I resigned already) and basically adulting life in general.

Part of it, I blame myself because given our situation, we weren’t able to satisfy our needs di katulad dati. But half of it, I think deserve ko magalit or mainis sa kaniya kasi it’s not the first time he did this. Siguro ganito talaga when you love the person. Kahit gaano kasakit yung ginawa sayo, pilit at pilit mo siyang iintindihin kahit na unti unti kang nauubos.

But until when? I don’t want na lagi ko siya iintindihin sa ganito. I want to clarify things pero I’m so scared of what will happened next kasi I know he hates confrontation.

Maybe, it will be the last. It’s hard and difficult for me but this time, I will choose what I know what’s right for me.

I just hope, one day, you’ll realize why we even started and kung ano ba talaga ako in your life, Karl.

[3rrrdddyyy]

4-14-15

Look who surprised me at store?

[3rrrdddyyy]

:(

[3rrrdddyyy]

“Once upon a time, the planets and the fates

And all the stars aligned”

[3rrrdddyyy]

Long time tumblr! Cute lang namin haha 🤪