4str04b1l1ty

[4str04b1l1ty]

wacky watch update this is not a drill!!!!!!

I’ve changed my mind. I do not know what to think anymore.

[4str04b1l1ty]

my jax containment backpack

do you guys like it

[4str04b1l1ty]

the kill bill weapon

[4str04b1l1ty]

I hate my job

[4str04b1l1ty]

It's a very bad joke, I know

[4str04b1l1ty]

@pannyprainer

Based on this animatic

My Queen, Her Servant

CW: Grief, self harm, suicidal idealization/thoughts, hearing voices, written by someone who lost their dad and is still grieving

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT IN THE RIGHT MINDSET FOR THIS! EXTREMELY HEAVY GRIEF AND ANGST!

It was night, at least the simulated version of night, within the digital circus and nearly everyone had gone off to bed. Everyone, that is, except for a certain kingly chess piece who had just finally left the comfort of his pillows. Something he only really ever did if he wanted to spend time with the others, forced to go on Caine's adventures or at night.

At night, he was able to think clearly for a while longer than usual. At night, he could remember her. He could remember how she was no longer around to keep him company. He could almost hear her if he pressed himself as close to the floor as possible, he could just imagine what she say when he was still around while she had been banished to the cellar. He could almost hear her begging, demanding that he'd join her.

He squeezed his eyes tight, slamming his fists into the sides of his head, just enough to leave small, almost unnoticeable dents. No one had said a thing about them unlike her, she was the only one who had noticed during his entire time at the circus. Only she ever stopped him, he could still feel the light, chaste kisses on the dents anytime she saw them. She was his savior, the only reason he felt he could survive for so long.

At least.

Until she left him alone.

He saw the colorful eyes appear in his vision again, beckoning him. Telling him to join them, join her. He would never have to be alone again. He could stay forever with her. He would never be able to escape but why would he want to when he could be with her.

No.

NO!

NO!!

He slammed his fists angst his head again, denting a bit more. She wouldn't want him to follow her down, she'd want him to live and get out even if she wasn't with him any longer. She told him that before she was fully gone. He felt his chest tighten as he thought about her longer.

Another slam against the sides of his head.

He forced himself to stand and leave the pillow fort. Staying there gave him too much time to think. He needed to move. He needed to work. Get his mind off of his grief. There was something more important to do than focus on his own sadness. Something more important than him.

He went into his long abandoned room. It was covered in a giant mess: molding trash, his bed completely unmade and dirtied with dirt, everything one could imagine to make a room dirty- it was there. The only thing out of place was the pail, scrub and small hand towel- which is what he grabbed before he shut his door. He had no need to be such an alien room longer than he had to be.

No, he needed to be elsewhere. She needed him elsewhere. He was her servant and he needed to serve her. That was his mission. That is why he stayed even when she was gone.

He set the bucket, that was now filled with soapy water, down in front of a door that wasn't his. A door that had the picture of a black queen chess piece covered with an X. His queen. He was just her simple servant.

He placed a hand on the picture with a sad sigh, closing his eyes for a moment. He didn't notice a small jester peeking outside her door at him, seeing a tear fall. Or how she looked up at the picture that his hand was on.

No. By the time his eyes opened again, the hallway was as empty as before. He let out a shaky breath as he pulled out the keys Jax let him borrow every night. He didn't even need to look, he just got her key first try which he used to unlock and open her door.

Everything in the room looked like the complete opposite of his. It was pristine, barely any specks of dust, it was as clean as clean could be. But the queen's servant knew there could always be more to clean, more to fix, more to do. She may no longer be around but he could certainly keep it clean. At least so it could keep his heart warm and at least allowing him to pretend she was still there.

He moved around her room, humming a song that the both of them enjoyed as he swept, mopped, dusted, and scrubbed. Making sure nothing was out of place, nothing was still dirtied. Everything needed to remain clean like his image of her. He paused at a picture frame.

Her image was clear but all he could see of himself was a man who loved but failed to keep his love alive. A pathetic whelp of a man who deserved to be in her place down in the cellar. She was the perfect one. She was the angel. She could've kept everyone sane and happy and kept them from ending in the cellar. He couldn't. He just hid. He was already losing his mind. Why he was still around? Zooble was right, he should've been the next to go. Not Kaufmo.

He hit the sides of his head again, a crack beginning to form on either side.

A word painted in red just behind the nightstand. He hadn't noticed it before, had he? Maybe he just missed it. Or maybe he left it there himself to make himself think about it. To give him an out. He wanted an out.

He moved the nightstand, kneeling down as he let himself stare at the word: Exit.

The word seemed to echo from everywhere in the room, coaxing him to listen. To let himself go. No one needed him up here. Everyone he knew from before was below. She was below.

He let himself listen. He let him see the colorful eyes. Maybe he should just let himself go? No one seemed to need him up here.

She is below

Your friends are down here

Everything is false in the circus

Why stay? Give in.

Give up.

JOIN US!

He felt his body begin to tingle with each echo. He was about to fully allow the echoes and eyes win but

A hand gripped onto his shoulder gently, breaking him from his reverie. He screamed in surprise although it sounded like fear or desperation.

His eyes looked manic for a few moments before his vision and mind registered the small, extremely worried jester who pulled her hand away and held it in her other, rubbing them together.

She was saying something but he could only barely still hear just the echoes. They were still calling for him but her presence made them muffled.

He saw her kneel down next to him- such a small little jester. She didn't belong in this circus... she should still be able to be around her parents... but the only parent she had was him. She chose him. He never understood why.

She put the scrub brush in the soapy water and used it to clean off the red paint that he was staring at. Gently. He could tell she didn't want to ruin the wallpaper underneath.

The echoes became quieter. But they still refused to leave him entirely. Not yet.

She noticed his dents and cracks on the sides of his head. He felt her wrap a bandage around his head despite how he wasn't bleeding. How silly. But why did it make him feel warmer?

She helped him up. He moved the nightstand in place. She said something muffled but it sounded like she was praising his queen's room. It made him feel lighter. Happier.

She gently took one of his hands, leading him out of his queen's room and to a room he only vaguely recognized. She said something about a surprise and that everyone helped.

She opened the door.

The room was almost as sparkling clean and beautiful as his queen's. It felt like a room fit for a king, not a lowly servant.

Everyone was in there: Ragatha, Jax, Zooble, Gangle, and Pomni went inside from behind him. They were all smiling. Smiling at him- even a tiny smile from the uncaring rabbit and something akin to a smile from the mix match.

He didn't understand why. Why they did this.

His eyes landed on a picture frame that held a drawing inside of it. A drawing of the entire troupe- including those underneath. All proudly standing around two chess pieces who were obviously in love.

It broke him.

He fell to his knees and trembled. Sobbing. Wailing.

Everything he kept inside for all these long, long years. All coming out in hard, crashing waves.

Everyone in the room knelt down, hugging him gently. Holding him as protectively as he's tried holding them.

Maybe he could stay a bit longer.

Maybe he was wanted.

Maybe he wanted them as well.

-------

A/N: This one hurt to write. The entire time my heart was thinking of my father who passed away back in December. How hard it was to lose him and how, even now, I'm grieving.

Grief doesn't go away. You can only try to help it ease up. Don't let yourself fall.

[4str04b1l1ty]

[4str04b1l1ty]

I'm back from the dead with some Fiddleford angst! This literally took me over ten hours but I'm actually really happy with how it turned out so it's worth it lol

[4str04b1l1ty]

Spent 7 solid hours on this damn dude, and he looks like ass. Whatever. Worm is now real

[4str04b1l1ty]

Gothni 🖤🦇

[4str04b1l1ty]

What's wrong dude Missing your boyfriend? 🤨

[4str04b1l1ty]

"I once considered him the center of my life, the sun in my galaxy, when all along he was a black hole sucking everything bright into his bottomless ego"

Ok Ford, weird way to say ur gay... But go off ig

I wanted to make a full body illustration of them, so here u go, them in the happy days

[4str04b1l1ty]

You can only reblog this today.

[4str04b1l1ty]

I forgot about these :P

I really doubt tadc is gonna go more into Queenie and who she is, but I really want it to 😭 anyway this was a little experiment with the lasso tool back in December.

[4str04b1l1ty]

Help a Family in Need

I am reaching out on behalf of my dear friend, Mohamad S., who is facing one of the most challenging times of his life. Mohamad is 37 years old and left his homeland in 2015 in search of a safer and better future. He’s a kind, hardworking man, and his small family has always been his greatest priority.

Living abroad, Mohamad has recently endured unimaginable loss and financial strain. Amidst the ongoing conflict in his homeland, his mother passed away, leaving behind his sister and her five young children—the last remaining members of his immediate family.

As the situation worsened, Mohamad managed to help his sister and her children escape to safety in Egypt, covering their immediate needs and securing a temporary refuge for them. Since then, he has been fully responsible for providing everything they need to survive during this transition.

In his efforts to support his family and cope with this devastating loss, Mohamad has found himself deeply in debt. To make matters even more difficult, he recently underwent knee surgery, which limits his ability to return to work for the foreseeable future. This has made it even harder for him to manage his financial responsibilities and the pressing need to provide his family with a stable future.

Mohamad is now working to bring his sister and her five children to join him in Belgium, where he hopes they can find stability and opportunity after all they’ve endured. This transition, however, requires significant resources that he is currently unable to meet alone.

For privacy reasons, we are not sharing Mohamad’s full name, as he has chosen to keep his identity discreet. While he initially refused the idea of asking for help, I couldn’t stand by and watch him struggle alone. I insisted on doing this for him because he deserves a chance to overcome these challenges.

Your contribution will help Mohamad repay the debt incurred during this difficult time, cover ongoing living expenses for his family, and assist with the costs involved in bringing them safely to Belgium.

Mohamad has been a good friend of mine for years, and I’ve always admired his resilience and generosity. Any support, no matter the size, will make an incredible difference in helping Mohamad and his family rebuild their lives after these painful experiences.

Thank you for reading his story and considering helping a man who has always done everything he can for his loved ones.

Adam

✅ Vetted by Association: @bilal-salah0

Donate & share: Donation Link

[4str04b1l1ty]

[4str04b1l1ty]

You'll be the saddest part of me...

A part of me that will never be mine.. It's obvious...

Tonight is gonna be the Loneliest...