52catsinatrenchcoat - Tumblr blog

[52catsinatrenchcoat]

The year is 2030.

At the Cincinnati stop of her "world tour", Taylor Swift ends her set. As she walks off the stage, she leans into a nearby mic and says "oh by the way, I'm lesbian".

She's still milking a public relationship with a man named Chett Whitesman, so this is met with a combination of cheers and confusion. Immediately, the media mobilizes. They have to intercept her before she gets onto her private jet, and ambush her for an interview. Luckily, this has become much easier these days. Since the release of her 2027 album, "The Carbon Emissions of my Heart", T Swizzle has performed a ritual sacrifice of an endangered species on live camera every time she boards her jet, a #girlboss way of saying that her emotional pain can only be healed by the tortured screams of drowning polar bears.

(Since this practice started, a devoted faction of Swifties have started a carbon negative algae farming commune, with the express intent of negating taytay sweezie's contributions to climate change. Apparently "her tortured soul deserves to pollute without guilt". They haven't even come close to their goals.)

Taytor Twift is intercepted after this ritual, as she's walking up the steps of her plane. When asked what the lesbian statement was about, she nonchalantly says "oh, I thought it was clear that was a joke. Anyways, G T G!" , before biting into the still beating heart of an emperor penguin.

During her flight, discourse on the newly renamed twitter-X-ElonIsExtremelyVirile Corp goes nuclear like it never has been before.

There's a camp of swifties thoroughly convinced that her relationship with Chett is all a beard so that she can still keep touring in the New Christian Republic of Florida, and the interview at the plane was deepfaked.

A different camp of Swifties feels insulted and betrayed that she would be anything less than a paragon of allyship. To them, this is the worst slight the queer community has ever experienced.

A third camp of Swifties insists that she *is* dating Chett, and is also a lesbian. They get insulted that anyone would police Taylor's labels. Comparisons to the Boulder, Colorado shooter are made.

A group of non Swifties tries to point out that everyone is fucking insane and that 'ole taytay regularly tear gases pride rallies to make way for her promenade to stadium venues, and who the fuck cares about this shit and point out that what a billionaire celebrity does for five minutes of PR is not worth your attention or discourse, nor does it warrant harassing other people for the labels *they* use, and isn't it really fucked up that Taylor is making a joke of how people describe their identities? They are promptly doxxed, harassed, and banned.

Bi lesbian discourse is off the charts. Nothing Taylor said has anything to do with it, but it happens anyways.

A lone transsexual who actually goes outside once in a while tweets "hey guys isn't it kinda fucked up that 2.4 billion people have been displaced by mega storms this year that her jet contributes to and is also specifically designed to fly over" and is promptly doxxed and harassed off the platform.

After an exhausting 9 minute plane ride, Tailing Swiffer lands in Columbus for the next performance of her world tour. She unveils a new single that contains the line "ride my horse after dumping him, stepping up onto my SAD dle".

All is forgotten. All is quiet. The Swifties continue as usual, moving on to the next discourse about these lyrics.

[52catsinatrenchcoat]

[52catsinatrenchcoat]

do you want a hotdog

Not Hungry

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Never fight a man who's fighting his dinner 💥💥💥💥💥

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that chimera ain't right

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LIVE (nothing wrong with me)

LAUGH (nothing wrong with me)

LOVE (nothing wrong with me)

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[52catsinatrenchcoat]

vegans make peace with honey

no shut up do it

[52catsinatrenchcoat]

Laios's drawing of Falin? Crude, childish.

Laios's drawing of cool badass Cerberus aka triple dog aka dogx3?

He's practiced this one. In fact, it's not even particularly necessary for the explanation he's giving. But why not draw it?

[52catsinatrenchcoat]

If I could have even 10% of their whimsy, I would consider myself very fortunate indeed.

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these should be considered animal abuse

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This antique warehouse fucks

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i cannot possibly be the first person who has had this idea

[52catsinatrenchcoat]

sometimes, it destroys me to think about how Max didn’t recognize Chloe in the bathroom. i don’t get why nobody is talking about it. how, when Chloe asks her, she’s obviously ashamed of not recognizing her immediately. how she wishes she would’ve. how they’re both bittersweet about it. because what do you mean you don’t recognize her. this is your childhood best friend. you grew up alongside her. you know her better than you know yourself, she knows you like the back of her hand. but you don’t recognize her. to you, she’s still the 14 year old girl who just lost her father. to her, you’re still the 13 year old girl who left her behind. you didn’t get to see her cut her hair, and dye them blue, and become who she is, so you still know her by heart, but when you see her for the first time after five years, when you save her life, you don’t recognize her. then, she saves you in the parking lot, and you look into her eyes, and then you just know. and she does too. because she’s your childhood best friend, and you know her better than yourself, and she knows you like the back of her hand, and you get in her car, and you recognize her now. of course you do. because after five years you’re still Max Caulfield.