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kids turn 13 and literally say this:

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I love being in college because there are no actual adults around so everyone is just going around bullshitting their way through basic tasks. Like I can be like “I think I got better from my cold because I ate an orange yesterday” and everyone is like “Yeah makes sense” and somebody could just be like “I’m gonna put my pillow in the washing machine to clean it” and everyone’s like “Sounds like a great idea John”

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i need to get 6 liters of mountain dew baja blast through an IV in my arm every day or i’ll become violent 

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how do i overthink so much and then Still make the wrong decision

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Poughkeepsie, 3/9/2019

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Marilyn Monroe’s The Girl from The Seven Year Itch, possibly one of cinema’s first on-screen monster-fangirls

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I’m begging y’all…. please take this woman’s soundboard away from her

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Solange “Binz”

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Internet Wokeologist: Wow… things are bad in the US… we need change

Literally any person of colour esp women: yeah the history of the US is terrible and unfortunately Democrats have actively contributed to this as well, we need to find a better way of doing things

Internet Wokeologist: um you are clearly a Russian spy, you HAVE to be a spooky scary patriot-hating foreigner to suggest that even our Good Guys have done bad things. Take them away officer. God bless the REAL America. I am immune to propaganda

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outfit idea: a tshirt that says “I CAN’T BE KILLED” across the chest paired with booty shorts that read “GOD WON’T LET ME DIE” across the ass

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I hate rich white people

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As I near 200,000 followers here at fishingboatproceeds, I just wanted to say Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m satisfied.