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understandable, thank you.

i guess im just more patchface-autistic than stannis-autistic

genuine question for stannis fans, what is it about him that you enjoy/find interesting?

i can’t for the life of me get invested in him and im genuinely wondering what about him compels people

tho my favorites all tend towards the very weird so maybe he’s just too like,, consistent for me

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me: aeron is the most normal greyjoy. the normal reaction to the ocean is reverence and the normal thing to do when you find seaweed is put it on your person somehow

me after seeing my family’s reactions to the seaweed crown i made today (and the seaweed currently braided into my hair): …huh ok

anyways please appreciate my seaweed crown my family sure doesn’t

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genuine question for stannis fans, what is it about him that you enjoy/find interesting?

i can’t for the life of me get invested in him and im genuinely wondering what about him compels people

tho my favorites all tend towards the very weird so maybe he’s just too like,, consistent for me

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i think if you didn’t come out of the asoiaf books with a morally questionable side character that you are absolutely insane about then you didn’t read them right

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falia flowers best girl ever unlovable unfavorite guilty victim of her own fantasies major bitch justifiably mean enjoyed her 15 minutes of glory and an eternity of agony oh my very own patron saint

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Why do you think Falia Flowers was so willing to believe Euron's promises? Was she just a naive young woman who was taken in my a master manipulator's promises? Was her life in Lord Hewitt's household so miserable that she believed Euron's lies because she wanted to believe them? Or was she a budding sociopath, as evidenced by her cruelty to her stepmother and half sisters, who was offered a chance to indulge her darker desires and got in way over her head?

Alright, imagine you’re Falia Flowers. You’re only 17, maybe 18, and like as not you’ve never left Oakenshield in your life. You know you’re Lord Hewett’s natural daughter, and you know what that’s meant for you for the past almost two decades. You have as much of Lord Hewett’s blood as any of his trueborn children, but his wife and daughters - your sisters - treat you as a servant, forcing you to wait on them. Lord Hewett might have brought you into his home, but you’re no Jon Snow, a doted-upon bastard; apparently, Lord Hewett is either unaware that this happens or simply doesn’t care how his wife and daughters treat his bastard. You’ve probably not been educated much, no more than any other servant would be. You know that your best option is marrying, and that as a bastard your marriage options are low and pretty limited. As far as you can tell, you’re doomed to a life of servant’s work on Oakenshield.

Then comes King Euron Greyjoy. You don’t know anything about him other than that he’s ironborn and Shield Islanders hate ironborn. But he’s not anything like you might expect. He’s handsome! He’s charming! He pulls you into his lap and tells you things that make you giggle! He turns the tables on the Hewett ladies who bullied you, making them the servants and you the lady of the castle. And he’s so attentive to you, listening to you, giving you silks, furs, jewels, gowns, anything you want. Suddenly you’re not the unwanted, unloved, regrettable offspring of the lord. Euron makes you feel desired, important, loved.

This is all new and a very heady experience for you; in a matter of hours you’ve had a Cinderella story, lifted from domestic drudgery to a king’s companion. It’s not that you’re basically unkind, but you’ve lived long years under the thumb of Lady Hewett, and if her attitude is typical of highborn southron ladies she probably made you feel your bastard birth on a daily basis, particularly as you live so close. It’s funny to see her and her haughty daughters do what they made you do for so long, and funnier to watch them do it naked; now you get to boss them around as they did you.

All of this has been possible because of King Euron. You might have known love or lovers before, but Euron would blow them all out of the water. None of them was so good-looking, so charismatic, so full of stories of his adventures far away from dull Oakenshield - and, of course, none of them was a king. So when Euron promises to make you his salt wife, of course you’ll accept. Not that you know the first thing about ironborn culture, but Euron has so kindly explained everything you need to know. It’s a potent thing, thinking that you - the unimportant Hewett daughter, the bastard, the one no one wanted - has by your beauty and charm made a king fall in love with you. You’ll be at the side of a king, and the most beautiful woman in the world (who has dragons!) will be like your sister. Far from spending the rest of your life in obscurity on Oakenshield, you’ll now leave with a king, wearing the richest garments and jewels. Why shouldn’t you believe him? He’s sworn it by his own god, and why would a man take an oath against his own god?

You’re Falia Flowers. You don’t know Euron Greyjoy. You don’t know his pleasure in mind games, his sadistic side, his manipulative nature, his disturbing quest for apotheosis. More powerful men than you have been taken in by Euron’s promises, better-educated men, men with more experience than your 17 or 18 years on Oakenshield have given you. He’s shown you his smiling eye, and that’s all you’ve seen.

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Rodrik Harlaw is sailing a quick and sacrifice-proof ship just behind Euron's and he stealthily scoops Aeron and Falia out of the sea and takes them back to Harlaw, where they live in a secret nook of his library. Falia learns sign language and gets a choice on moon tea or not, and they both get lots and lots of therapy and love ❤🥺

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Once, in the dungeon before this one, a woman brought his food in place of Euron’s mute. A young thing, buxom and pretty. She dressed in the finery of a greenland lady. In the lantern light she was the loveliest thing Aeron had ever seen.

“Woman,” he said, “I am a man of god. I command you, set me free.”

[…]

“And who are you, child?”

“Falia Flowers, Lord Hewett’s natural daughter. I am to be King Euron’s salt wife. You and I will be kin, then.” 

Aeron Damphair raised his eyes to hers. His scabbed lips were crusted with wet porridge. “Woman.” His chains clinked when he moved. “Run. He will hurt you. He will kill you.”

[…]

Naked as the mouthless maiden, her smooth belly just beginning to swell with the child she was carrying, her cheeks red with tears, she did not struggle as the boys tightened her bonds. Her hair hung down in front of her face, but Aeron knew her all the same.

“Falia Flowers,” he called. “Have courage, girl! All this will be over soon, and we will feast together in the Drowned God’s watery halls.”

I like the transition from Aeron asking Falia to free him, then urging Falia to run away, and in the end, offering her whatever comfort he can in their final moments together as Euron’s blood sacrifices.

There is also something curious about Aeron addressing Falia only as ‘woman’, in a way that might be considered almost crude (Ironborn typical misogyny), even after she tells him her name. But in the moment when they’re tied up on the prow of the Silence, and Falia has been very obviously dehumanized, Aeron does not deny Falia her personhood and chooses to acknowledge her by name instead. “Aeron knew her all the same.”

I think it could be considered a callback to some of the ideas presented in Theon’s chapters: “You have to know your name.”/“This time I knew you.”

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sometimes. i think about aerons selfless desperation to try and help falia flowers escape in the forsaken and i want to cry

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Rhaella ( Aerea ) and Aerea ( Rhaella ) Targaryen

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I understand patchface was cut out because it wouldn’t have fit with the tone of the show but if they were going to do nothing with Stannis’ character anyway why couldn’t we just enjoy seeing him be followed around by the scary clown that witnessed the death of his parents and now babysits his daughter and sings about how they’re all going to drown? all the characters are followed around by a scary clown called the narrative anyway, Stannis’ case just happened to be literal

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robert baratheon's small council was hysterical actually:

• old ass father figure

• boybestfriend's wife's weird incel friend

• lannister boot licker maester

• the most influential spy in the world who definitely cannot be trusted

• hated repressed younger brother

• hedonistic teenage gay brother as master of laws (??)

• secret targaryen loyalist

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conceptually obsessed with lyn corbray actually

there is an EVIL GAY MAN who is LOOSE in the vale. everyone HATES him. he is REFUSING to sit in a chair like a normal person so that he can LOOM OMINOUSLY instead as he SMILES HOMOEROTICALLY at the guard. if you call out the fact that he is EVIL he will KILL YOU with his SWORD named LADY FORLORN that he STOLE off his DYING FATHER in the MIDDLE OF A BATTLE. despite the fact that every hates him and his EVIL GAY WAYS, they cannot get rid of him. if you pay him money he will be HORRIBLE AND EVIL to you. but on PURPOSE this time.

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current mood is being so upset over how game of thrones adapted the kingsmoot

also the general lack of color in the show

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feastdance dashboard simulator

💋queen-cersei-defense-squad Follow

it’s so sick that people keep criticizing queen cersei as if she’s not the first female ruler of westeros??? literally elevating bastards and women to her small council is super fucking progressive as is creating the precedent of dismissing unfit kingsguard??

🪨dragonstoner Follow

aren’t all of her children literally bastards born of incest

💋 queen-cersei-defense-squad Follow

oh so now you’re going to listen to stannis baratheon, known misogynist, kinslayer, fornicator, team green supporter, and homophobe, huh.

🦑pykedyke

okay guys i know there’s no “perfect candidate” but you have to vote in the kingsmoot anyways not voting is how someone like e****n g*****y wins and literally anyone is better than him. suck it up and row to the polls

🦈reaveherihardlyknowher

ohhhh not this “vote your crew no matter who” “blue lips man bad” bullshit again. fuck off idgaf which godless man sits the seastone chair i’m not voting for asha shes literally a neoliberal

🦷 lastoftheegiants

first i had to give up my rights and then i had to give up my gods just to not get killed by fucking wights but i literally cannot believe the nights watch made me give up my strap as part of the treasure ransom. shit was expensive it was IVORY. i hate southerners so much i hope the lord commander dies

🌪️kinslayerr

DO NOT COME TO THE RIVERLANDS

🍓silverspurs Follow

why

🌪️kinslayerr

there’s riverlands here

🧜‍♂️theythemderly

freys

🌾maidencool

my cousin got eaten by rats in harrenhal

🐎brackennation Follow

dumb cunts wearing raven feather cloaks strutting around who think they’re better than you but they’re not better than you

🌟sevenstar

i saw a guy get killed and then just stand back up and start fighting again because his friend kissed him on the mouth down here once

🦌whitehart

giant feral pack of 60 wolves running around

🍓silverspurs Follow

ok understandable have a nice day

🫧bastardwaters

i hate the fucking sparrows can we be normal for five minutes or can we just not have shit in the crownlands

☠️real-stormlands-patriot Follow

ITS LORD COMMANDOVER #RIPBOZO

🐦‍⬛mormonts-raven-bot Follow

CORN! DEATH! CORN!

(CAW! I follow members of the Night's Watch to remind them of their oaths!)

🦷 lastoftheegiants

????

🍋floriansjonquil

Loras Tyrell x Queen of Love and Beauty!Reader Imagines

Keep Reading

🪻maidens-smile Follow

girl this is notttttt the time he literally just fucking died at dragonstone?

💎oathkeeper

should’ve stanned jaime #LORASFELLOFF

💐flowerknight

one kill yourself jaime lannister is an honorless kingslaying turncloak two i heard loras tyrell was literally fine?

👊fleabottomtop

lord davos seaworth, the class traitor from the stannis baratheon administration, is a nasty little thottie and just died from making it clap in white harbor

🌅girlheir

this tower fucking sucks.

🌅girlheir

i’m just like rhaenyra targaryen for real

🌅girlheir

🐀ratcook5000 Follow

people meat tastes good asf when you don’t have a wench in your ear saying it violates guest right

🐺threeeyedwolf

🍒ladylance

need that targ girl in mereen to get those lizards over here and liberate this website by any means necessary cause what the fuck is going on

[a-feasting-crow]

justice for all the women of westeros but especially ASHA GREYJOY who ran for president on a platform of “I’ll finally end the forever wars that have brought us literally no gain whatsoever” and still somehow lost to an evil wizard who did the fantasy equivalent of bringing back plutonium rods from Chernobyl

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Rhaegar won, damn him… He has Lyanna now

Here’s to the women who are only remembered through the lens of the men who live in the shadow of their sepulchers.