a-scary-filociraptor

[a-scary-filociraptor]

sometimes i look down, and i am surprised by my wrists.

for a moment, i am caught off guard. they are fragile, thin. bracelets slide up and down my arms without anything substantial to hold them in place. i use the last hole on every watch band.

in my head, i’d like to think i have wrists like steel ropes, wrists like a boxer. thirteen years of piano had to have given me some kind of impressive forearm strength. all those concertos and sonatas. passages comprised entirely of nimble octaves played at a rumbling forte. in my head, i’d like to think it gave me something. my head, as usual, is probably wrong.

but my wrists. they look like they don’t belong to me. they look like they belong on a different girl, hospital girl, suicide girl. they could also belong to a different kind of different girl, athletic girl, track star girl. i am neither, yet my wrists are still a part of me, awkwardly out of place.

in my head, i’d like to think i’ve filled out. i struggle to do bicep curls, weighted squats, my shaking body evidence of the fervent, hidden wishes i used to hold. i used to wish i could wrap my hand completely around every single part of my arm, hand to shoulder. i used to wish i could comfortably hold my thigh in the cradle of two closed hands.

i don’t wish that anymore. i wish, instead, for strength, for tough ACLs, for more substantial glutes. i try barre, to correct my posture. i try kickboxing, to make me fearless. the instructor tells me i’m the tensest person he’s ever seen.

i am coiled up, tight as a ball. in my head, i’d like to think it’s because i’m ready to strike. in reality, it’s because i’m ready to flee. i try to relax. i even try yoga despite a grudge i am sure every mentally-ill person is familiar with. yoga is nice. i can barely feel the stretches anymore.

and that is something my head and reality can agree with. i am flexible. i am the only person in my class to hold a perfect wheel pose. i can wrap my legs behind my head, and do all sorts of weird little contortions that never fail to make others shudder. i am flexible.

i will do anything you require of me, bend to accommodate change. in my head, i am supple and smooth, but in reality, i am creased from my efforts. but it is not bad, being flexible. try to stab swords through my boxes, through me, but i will dance out of their way. try to snap my delicate body, i will fold into your palms. i am stronger than i seem. i am flexible. and it is not bad, being flexible.

it is better, always better, than being breakable.

ctg || flexibility

[a-scary-filociraptor]

I wonder if the idiots against pipelines for environmental reasons realize that having a pipeline wiuld significantly reduce the need for vehicle transport, and therefor emissions from trucks. I mean honestly

[a-scary-filociraptor]

Russian cosmonaut, Oleg Artemyev, has posted stunning pictures of the supermoon, giving a preview to one of the most dramatic space events of the year. On Sunday, stargazers will be able to view the biggest and brightest moon in 20 years.

Source - Instagram

[a-scary-filociraptor]

I don't see why Iron Mans portrayed as the kind of bad guy in Civil War

The entire movie makes it seem like Cap is doing the right thing? Like I know I'm biased as fuck because Iron Man is my fav, but honestly, he's right? I mean the Avengers should not be able to just disregard civilian casualties. I mean, in real life, if there's a terrorist group originating in Poland (idk first country to pop into my mind), you can't bomb the entire country! I mean sure you get rid of the "bad guys", but you kill too many innocents, which happens literally every single time the Avengers do anything! I mean, sure they're saving the world, but the government doesn't even wanna stop that. Like pretty sure they just wanna stop the Avengers from seeing a non doomsday attack, and making the body count rise exponentially. Maybe I just didn't grasp the plot very well, but it seems like Captain Americas biggest concern is being able to do what he wants? And I wouldn't have this much of a problem with it if it weren't Captain fucking America, the guy who's supposed to look out for the "right thing" and the "common good"! I mean since when is Tony Stark gonna accidentally kill one kid, and become the moral centre of the group! And yes this is what goes through my mind at midnight... I need to get a life 😧

[a-scary-filociraptor]

Does it count as getting pussy if I catch it in a pokeball?

[a-scary-filociraptor]

cute breadling goes for a swim :)

[a-scary-filociraptor]

[a-scary-filociraptor]

AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[a-scary-filociraptor]

ANOTHA ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[a-scary-filociraptor]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[a-scary-filociraptor]

I'M SORRY BUT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POKEMON GOOOO

[a-scary-filociraptor]

why was I ever friends with that kid bro honestly. god

[a-scary-filociraptor]

Boy what a day

Lost a championship and one of my best friends. Cool sauce.

[a-scary-filociraptor]

So its fucking bullshit and god and idk and fam bro ughhhhhhhhh. Why'd LeBron win. Fuck. Oh well. Go Lakers 2017!!!!!!!!!!

[a-scary-filociraptor]

god damn it...

[a-scary-filociraptor]

ok

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