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Favorite Harry Potter books.

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Favorite Books

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My piano

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My bro just came prancing into my room with a Burger King crown. We don’t have Burger King in Belgium. He drove all the way to the Netherlands.

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and uh yeah

every student at the end of their presentation (via sassykardashian)

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WELCOME TO CANADA WHERE WE LITERALLY PUT UP WARNING SIGNS FOR NESTING CANADIAN GEESE

BECAUSE LET ME TELL U ABOUT THESE FRICKERS FIRST OF ALL THEY HAVE FUCKIN TEETH ON THEIR TONGUES DO YOU WANNA GO NEAR ONE? “AWW IT’S JUST A LITTLE GOOSE YOU SAY” N O  THESE FRICKERS WILL CHARGE YOUR ASS IF THERE IS A NEST OR NEWLY HATCHED GOSLINGS AROUND THIS IS THE STRUT OF A GOOSE WARNING YOU THAT IT’S ABOUT TO KILL YOUR ASS ONCE THEY DO THIS? YOU RUN FAST AND YOU RUN FAR BECAUSE ONE OF THE PARENTS WILL FLY UP TO YOUR PUNY HUMAN FLESHBAG AND KARATE CHOP YOUR GODDAMNED NECK AND TRY TO BITE ANYTHING WITHIN REACH OK? WHILE THE OTHER PARENT, CONSUMED WITH BLOODLUST AND THE BURNING VENGEANCE OF A SPECIES HAVING NEARLY BEEN EXTINCT AND BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE GOES AND LITERALLY TRIES TO BITE YOUR ACHILLES TENDON IN HALF. WITHOUT FAIL THESE HELLSPAWN WILL ALWAYS GO FOR THERE. DON’T KNOW WHERE THAT IS?

CONGRATULATIONS YOU NO LONGER CAN WALK OR RUN AND REQUIRE EXTENSIVE SURGERY BECAUSE OF A FUCKING GOOSE. I ASSUME THEY EAT YOU ALIVE FROM HERE OUT. THEY’RE THAT FUCKIN CRAZY. CANADIAN GEESE ARE TERRIFYING AND THE SOURCE OF ALL CANADIAN STRIFE IN THE HISTORY OF FOREVER. I’M CANADIAN. TRUST ME. I KNOW. THIS IS THE BRAVEST PERSON IN THE COUNTRY.

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SERIOUSLY BE NICE TO YOUR ANIMALS BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU DESERVE AND MORE THAN ANY HUMAN EVER WILL

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#dying

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COMING SOON [speakers blow out] TO OWN ON DVD [children scramble for the remote] AND VIDEO CASSETTE [atomic bomb explodes in living room]

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it’s not a sunday unless you completely waste it then feel really sad around 8pm

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Why we all love Australia! Sources: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

For more posts like this, follow Ultrafacts

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My updated rainbow bookshelf

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if you think you have a better blog than me prove it by stapling water to a tree

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untitled by chooseanalog on Flickr.