a-wild-osborne

[a-wild-osborne]

webp. more like wet ppee.

also on bsky

[a-wild-osborne]

people love extolling the virtues of ball-and-socket joints and how it makes us more advanced and all that but I don't see any fucking octopuses in slings now do I. Bones are overrated and I want a refund.

[a-wild-osborne]

he has a name :(

[a-wild-osborne]

Whats the opposite of a girlboss. Im like a girlfailure

[a-wild-osborne]

left: green carpet owlet, Ichneutica plena

right: south island lichen moth, Ipana egregia

[a-wild-osborne]

Attack for @dreamingrobots ! my AF profile :D

[a-wild-osborne]

me and coworker: okay. we're getting rid of a ton of old records. they're sorted into price piles, you just need to write down the price and stick them to the record sleeve. if it doesn't have a sleeve, do not stick it to the vinyl bit, because the adhesive gunks up the grooves and affects how they play. okay?

new guy: yeah man!

us checking up on him 20 minutes later: 😨😂

him: i did not put stickers on them 🫡

[a-wild-osborne]

no one slaughter me right now ok I'm so flooded with stress hormones the meat would taste terrible

[a-wild-osborne]

The ozone layer is not only healing, but will likely be back to its 1980-state within a Millennial's lifetime

[a-wild-osborne]

when i tell you i had an aneurysm

[a-wild-osborne]

[a-wild-osborne]

ADHD will really have you googling things like “history of coffee in Russia” because you’re aware that “Russian coffee” or Raf coffee became a popular thing in the 1990s—

—which you only know because your Russian immigrant neighbor growing up in the UK would make it for you if you wriggled through the hole in the hedge, and your mother who used to put caffeinated “baby tea” in your sippy cup (because that’s what her mother did because she started having babies during World War Two when milk was heavily rationed and the water wasn’t safe to drink because of repeat typhoid outbreaks, so she’d give them all weak tea to drink, and your mother did it because that’s what her mother did so you were both essentially suckling from the teat of caffeine before you even had all your first baby teeth, which with hindsight might explain why your mother thinks ADHD isn’t real despite you being a carbon copy of her, what was I saying? Oh yeah, the Raf coffee) and your mother’s only objection to the Raf Coffee wasn’t the caffeine content but the sugar—

—but you’re not sure if Russian coffee has always been served sweet like that or if it’s something your blorbos from your show would encounter if they just so happened to be in Russia in the early 1980’s and ordered a coffee and you wind up down a rabbit hole of research to ultimately type, “he order tea” instead.

[a-wild-osborne]

Happy Valentine!!!

[a-wild-osborne]

4 months on T vs 1 year + 5 months on T

[a-wild-osborne]

My favourite translator said that when she was an ambassador for Hungary she took all these Japanese politicians on a tour and she was trying to circumtranslate ‘merry go round’ cause she didn’t know the Japanese word for it by calling it a ‘horse tornado for children’ and they had no blessed idea what she was saying and she finally started running in circles going up and down and they go ‘ohhhhh, in Japan we call those ‘merry-go-rounds’“

[a-wild-osborne]

Being a weird little girl as a kid provides two options to you: becoming transgender or becoming a weird adult woman. Both of which are things the world needs more of

[a-wild-osborne]

I just saw a screencap of a tweet that said, “married couple looking for experience dom to tell them what to make for dinner each night” and honestly, yeah. Same.