a9athy

[a9athy]

hey there. i just had some things i wanted to say. first off, im sorry ive been so cold in the time we’ve been here. you constantly pushing me in a direction i had no want to go in frustrated me and me knowing i could reciprocate any feelings anymore made me sad, which in turn made me angry. and i didn’t know how to deal with it, didn’t have a way to deal with it. so i just kinda took it out on you. but i need you to understand something. things between us will never be mended. i have found my person. every time ive been with someone, ive loved them even more than the last one. i always told myself “just trust in love one more time” after a heartbreak. i stayed with you because it was familiar, and even if i threatened it when i was angry at you, i wouldn’t have ever put you out. i couldn’t do that to someone. but i let those resentments and that anger build up, and it poisoned the love and affection i had for you. i ruined what we had, i wont deny that for a second. consciously.

[a9athy]

-i appreciate the apologies

-i didn’t say you were psycho or a stalker but u did some kinda crazy shit

-i never said i didn’t do anything bad

-i let my resentments build up to the point that it ruined the love i had for you and that’s on me

-i understand you think i should’ve give you a chance but i had and have no room in my heart to do that

-i’m sorry, but once i got to know joseph, that was the end of us.

[a9athy]

hi there. a lot of days have passed, almost 2 years to be exact. i’m a little happier than i could have imagined i’d be. i’m in sober living in dallas, texas. i’ve tricked everyone into believing in a good person. except for one person. and he loves me more than i could imagine for it. i get to see him tomorrow. he’s my favorite. he’s taught me true unconditional love, genuine happiness, mind numbing yearning. he’s so beautiful. i only wish i could’ve met him earlier. i wish he could’ve seen my pain in its true form.

[a9athy]

you know what. fuck you both. you have walked all over me. fuck you. i’ll get it back.

[a9athy]

you want an insufferable death you stupid bitch

[a9athy]

no knowledge. you know nothing. i’m sorry i’m so angry but wow. i’m jealous.

[a9athy]

there’s crazier shit than u can comprehend dude. really? there’s people with both

[a9athy]

it’s not in the STARS

[a9athy]

shut uppppppppppppppp

[a9athy]

AI is fucking scary why are you playing with it for shits and giggles, you’re giving it info

[a9athy]

please shut up oh my god

[a9athy]

you two need a goddamn therapist and a wake up call

[a9athy]

i watched your insufferable ass go cold turkey off the pills not once, not twice, didn’t stop at three times, and you never wanted help wiping the sweat off your forehead while you leaned off the toilet

[a9athy]

i wouldn’t do thais if i wasn’t losing my fucking mind

[a9athy]

no i’m losing my fucking mind. i’m not doing drugs or alcohol or dum shit to do it, im doing itv

[a9athy]

hey, i know isn’t a fan of u talking to me so i don’t wanna be that girl, but i just wanted to tell you about this. remember a while ago when u came to chill and i gave you a shot u DEMANDED to pay me for? i told you “idgaf” and you said “well, i give a fuck.” i’ve still got that dollar and it helps remind me that someone gives a fuck, even if it isn’t you. just wanted to let you know, it helps me a lot with what’s going on in right now, its a nice reminder. thanks for coming to that celebration with my friends a year ago, it meant the world to me. planning another after. you should bring girly with. hope you have a good day dude. hope you’ve been happy.

[a9athy]

i don’t know if anything in doug. if what insuppisrr to be