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Aspec representation is important because kids are still told in health class that everyone feels attraction

Aspec representation is important because somewhere in the world there’s a 12 year old crying because they feel broken

Aspec representation is important because I still get told “that’s not real” when I come out

Aspec representation is important because people still think the A in LGBTQIA+ stands for ally

Aspec representation is important because everyone deserves to see someone like them on screen

Aspec representation is important because people still think that asexual and aromantic are the same thing

Aspec representation is important

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epic aro sculpture i did for class

the heart is made out of plastic bags wrapped with tape, so it's squishy ^_^ and the knife is qtips hot glued together. the knife is also removable!

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I've been seeing more posts that are like "alloaros are attacking aroaces just for existing in aro spaces" and like, we're not

There's nothing wrong with aroaces posting in aro tags or joining aro spaces or existing in general. There's nothing wrong with being aroace.

What's wrong is the fact that our voices are completely drowned out by aroaces. Oftentimes, intentionally. We are called the "extra piece" or "the addition". When we tag our posts as aspec, we're called out on it and said that's wrong. When we make posts specifically about our alloaro experiences they are tagged as aroace or asexual. When we find aromantic communities we have to ask the question "am I welcome here" and the answer is "no" a lot of the time. And even if we are "welcome" we are told to censor ourselves and our experiences for aroaces. When non-ace aros create spaces specifically for non-ace aros aroaces flood in and assume it's for them or call us acephobic for not wanting them there.

Many aroaces actively encourage the silencing of alloaros. Whether that be treating us as scapegoats and pointing to us and saying "accept us because at least we're not them!" or actively pushing us out of aromantic spaces, sometimes even spaces dedicated to non-ace aros.

You cannot shut us into a fucking closet and say "what alloaros?" then when we bust out and express our frustration go "CRAB IN A BARREL!!! WE'RE ALL IN THE SAME COMMUNITY!!! WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING US!?!"

We're not saying "fuck aroaces" or "aroaces cause all the problems we face" or anything like that. We're just pissed at the fact that even our own community, people we're supposed to relate to, fucking hate us.

Our bitterness and frustration at the way we've been treated isn't aroacephobia.

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Why are heart motifs fucking everywhere. Save me, loveless aromanticism.

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What challenging amatonormativity is:

Emphasizing that there are more types of relationships than just romance

Spreading positivity for people who choose to remain single

Explaining how platonic relationships can be just as deep and meaningful as romantic ones

Deromanticizing actions like hugging, kissing, and other forms of physical intimacy

Talking about the ways that society devalues friendships in favor of romance

What challenging amatonormativity isn’t:

Claiming that friendship is so societally devalued that there’s no way aplatonics can face discrimination or stigma for being friendless

Accusing alloromantic aplatonics of being inherently amatonormative because they care more about their partners than friendship

Claiming that people are faking being aplatonic to get out of accusations of amatonormativity

Implying that you must love your friends and be friends with your romantic partners

Associating aplatonicism with aromanticism because you can’t comprehend someone who’s interested in romance but not friendship

All of these are things I have seen. This is not how to go about your activism. Don’t forget aplatonics, especially alloromantic ones.

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Another kind of diversity we need in writing is protagonists without love interests. Give me adults with full-fledged stories that don't include falling in love.

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People who say that aroaces aren't queer/don't belong in the LGBTQIA+ gang are funny to me

Cause I feel like in a world where romance and sex is a human expectation, that aroace makes you the biggest outlier there is

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Sex-replusion is going to exist weather there is a purity culture or not.

Maybe the solution here is to acknowledge yes sex scenes can be in some movies but don't need to be in EVERY movie to have it be a movie geared towards adults???

Stop moralizing sex scenes as "good" and forcing them onto people by putting them in EVERY movie, and maybe other people shall stop moralizing them as "bad" and trying to force you to take them out of movies.

Like, the unfortunate thing here is the assholes pushing purity culture have an actual point in this case, but they're stating it to the incorrect end/motive here.

Also, people calling themselves "prudes" as a reclamation because none of you want to admit sex repulsion is also queer is kind of on you, not the people calling themselves prudes. That isn't a purity culture issue, that's a "I am either asexual, sex-repulsed, or possibly both but do not know it/am not accepted by the queer community in general and am SCARED of you," thing.

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I think it's so hilarious when people (non fanfic readers) assume that you like and are okay with whatever you read because I will sit there and read the most disgusting dead dove smut fic out there with a straight face and feel physically uncomfortable when people ask me out.

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atraction is just lie made by the goverment, hope that helps

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it really is fine, but i'll take a lollipop anyway // april 25 2024

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I made this quick info post about using no pronouns bc there’s not a lot of resources on it! Reblogs appreciated :D

[Image ID: Simple blue and white graphic. First slide is titled “Guide to Using No Pronouns” and has a figure waving with a speech bubble that says “Hi, I’m Bee! I prefer using my name in place of pronouns.” The second slide is titled “Reasons to use No Pronouns” and the bullet points read “When no pronouns seem to fit. Sometimes you just don’t vibe with any of them! Avoids misgendering someone who’s not out yet. For fun!” An additional bubble reads “you don’t have to have a reason!” The third slide is titled “Introductions” and reads “Introducing yourself: “Hello, my name is ____. I use my name instead of pronouns.” or “My name is ____. I don’t use pronouns.” Introducing someone else: “This is ____. ____ doesn’t use pronouns.” or “This is ____. You can use ____’s name in place of pronouns.” I find that stating that you use your name in place of pronouns makes your introduction more clear. I would also include a quick example of how to use your name: “So instead of using they/them/their, you can say “Bee is calling Bee’s parents.”““ The fourth slide is titled “Examples” and reads “Here’s some examples using my name! Instead of: “Bee is working by themself.” Do: “Bee is working alone.” Instead of: “They are proud of their work.” Do: “Bee is proud of Bee’s work.” Instead of “I went with them and they were amazing!” Do: “I went with Bee and Bee was amazing!”“ The fifth slide reads “Thank you for reading! Have a good day!”]

Quick FAQ/additional notes under cut:

Keep reading

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I hate how when I come out to other people as aromantic I'm so often met with a version of "don't you think you'll find the one?" and them telling me that I should be open minded and not rule out dating completely.

Like, why do they feel like they need to tell me that? Those words just revive all my doubts that I shouldn't call myself aro and that I'm not "valid" as aromantic. Do they not understand that it took a lot of courage to tell them this personal thing about myself and that them immediately questioning what I've said won't make me feel better?!

It took me over a year of soul-searching to gain the confidence to use this word to describe myself and my experiences, and their first reaction to me letting them in on this knowledge is that I have to be wrong and that it's not okay for me to call myself that.

I literally would have been fine if they just said, "okay, cool."

I hate that aromanticism is still seen as something so negative that people's first reaction to a coming out as aromantic is to console the person coming out (by invalidating them).

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(tumblr post screenshot image: Aplatonic discourse is retreading aro/ace discourse.

You are not immune to exclusionism.

Loveless means even without platonic feelings. They are not exaggerating by "loveless". Even if you think it's necessary, who cares?)

Loveless does not inherently mean no platonic feelings. It does not even inherently mean no romantic feelings. It means none of those feelings are considered "love". You can experience loveless affection, attraction, and any other number of feelings. It's why "emotionless" is a distinct label from loveless.

APLATONIC means without platonic feelings. It's why loveless is an adjective in the first place. You can be a loveless aro, a lovequeer aro, a loveless apl, a lovequeer apl, a loveless aroapl, a lovequeer aroapl, and so on. You can even be an alloplatonic loveless aro or an alloromantic loveless apl or an alloplatonic lovequeer aro or an alloromatic lovequeer apl.

Obviously, exclusion of apl people is bad. We're aplspec ourselves and have been deeply hurt by it.

But not all loveless aros are aplatonic. Not all aplatonic people are loveless. If you say that loveless inherently means "without platonic feelings", you're saying that love is the only kind of feeling you can feel towards others, or perhaps the only type of attraction/affection (as differentiated from things you feel ABOUT others, like happy/sad/angry etc). You can have platonic OR romantic "feelings" without those feelings being love.

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Shout out to mean aros. They keep the world moving

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Gentle reminder here that there are elder queers out there. Real elders, people in their 80s and 90s who survived, who are here. You can get there, old age does exist for us.

I know an old lesbian couple who have been married since the moment they legalized it. One woman can hardly walk anymore but she loves Hallmark ornaments, so her wife supports her against her walker during Christmas so she can look at them more easily.

I know a transgender man who started transitioning only 10 years ago at 60, and he's brilliant and funny and brings his grandchildren by to get sweets.

I know an asexual woman who, beamed and told me she absolutely loved not having a husband, and that she "never once regretted not getting married. I never felt that way about anybody! Why force it?" She lives with her parrot and loves salsa dancing.

Our elders exist. So many of us have been wiped out and erased on purpose, but we're here. And that means you can get there. When you're old and grey, when you're retired and done, there will be people who will love you and will care for you.

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it would be REALLY cool if charactrs in media that are heavily implied to be aroace actually stay as aroace instead of them finding the right person and they end up having sex either way . idk just a thought