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shoutout to nine-year-old me who was very much aroace but didnt know the difference between hyperfixating on a character and having a crush on them so for the next few years i told everyone that the only crush i ever had was on lord voldemort

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I had an annoying interaction so this is your friendly reminder that the A in LGBTQIA+ does not stand for ally, it stands for aspec people.

Editing because people have mentioned in the tags, thank you for reminding my dumb ass:

Also agender people! The A is for aspec (not just aro and ace, the WHOLE spectrum!) and agender people.

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These are so beautiful.

Credit goes to the wonderful artist: ChibiGreen

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Happy pride to the A's of lgbtqia!

To the asexuals

Aromantics

Agenders

You are just as loved here

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i enjoy being aroace and agender. fuck that shit im out

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Someone, explain to me how me not having sex is your problem? Like genuinely, how does that affect you?

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You know what? Forget the discourse. This is no longer my hill to die on.

You wanna ship canonically aspec characters because “aro/ace people can still date/have sex”? Okay, then. LET’S DO IT.  I wanna see an aromantic character with an alloromantic love interest. I wanna see that confession of undying love and the moment when the aro character says they will never feel the same way—not romantically.

I wanna see the asexual character with their allosexual partner. I wanna see that moment when the ace characters tries sex with their partner for the first time because they want to make them happy only to realize that they are 100% sex repulsed.

I wanna see the two demiromantics who don’t even know if what they feel is romantic attraction, but they adore each other and just want to make healthy snacks together and destroy each other at Mario Kart.

I wanna see the two aces who love sensual affection and are figuring out what they define as sexual or not.

I wanna see the romance + sex neutral aroace who happily and consensually does whatever makes their partner happy…but their partner still struggles with feeling undesired. 

Oh, babe. You thought shipping an aspec character would be just like shipping an allo character? 

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AroAce Saturn?

Twitter

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Someone, explain to me how me not being in a relationship is your problem? Like genuinely, how does that affect you?

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happy pride month everyone :)

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i had a vision please use these for good or evil or whatever

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aspec person:kinda fucked up that some queer people think aspecs aren't queer unprompted allo person: oh but what they mean is that you're not in danger because you're still basically cis/straight. They're right but you're still part of the community

even ignoring the casual aphobia of saying aspecs are cishet-lite, i'm tired of those kind of exchanges so let's be for fucking real right now:

Proof that aspecs go through conversion therapy:

The “A” Is Not for Ally: The Continued Pathologization of Asexual People in Modern Mental Health Practices

Better understanding of the scope and nature of LGBTQA+ religious conversion practices will support recovery

Proof that aspec have high rates of suicidality and self-harm:

Intersectional Impact of Allosexism Experiences on Non‐Suicidal Self‐Injury Among Asexual Youth

An Intersectional Exploration of Outness, Encountered Discrimination and Violence, and Non-Suicidal Self-Injury among Asexual Youth across Gender Identities

Variations in suicidality across multiple social identities in asexual people: An intersectionality analysis

Comparing Asexual and Non-Asexual Sexual Minority Adolescents and Young Adults: Stressors, Suicidality, and Mental and Behavioural Health Risk Outcomes

Proof that aspecs go through corrective rape and assault:

Sexual Violence Against the Asexual Community

A quantitative examination of the role of relationship status in asexual college students’ sexual victimization

Battling Asexual Discrimination, Sexual Violence And 'Corrective' Rape

and that list of reputable sources took less than 20 minutes of research. you just don't want to recognize it.

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Free (mostly academic) ace theory resources

On asexuality

Asexuality: What It Is and Why It Matters - Anthony Bogaert

Asexuality: Classification and Characterization - Nicole Prause et al.

Asexuality - Luke Brunning et al.

Biological Markers of Asexuality: Handedness, Birth Order, and Finger Length Ratios in Self-identified Asexual Men and Women - Morag A. Yule et al.

Crisis and safety: The asexual in sexusociety - Ela Przybylo

On asexuality and HSDD

Reconsidering Asexuality and Its Radical Potential - CJ DeLuzio Chasin

Asexuality: An Extreme Variant of Sexual Desire Disorder? - Lori A. Brotto et al.

Asexuality: Sexual Orientation, Paraphilia, Sexual Dysfunction, or None of the Above? - Lori A. Brotto et al.

Asexuality vs. sexual interest/arousal disorder: Examining group differences in initial attention to sexual stimuli - Julia Bradshaw et al.

On the Split Attraction Model

Splitting Attraction: Differentiating Romantic and Sexual Orientations Among Asexual Individuals - Canton Winer

Ace and Aro: Understanding Diferences in Romantic Attractions Among Persons Identifying as Asexual - Amy N. Antonsen

On acephobia

“I don’t know if this counts but…” A report on acephobia in 2021. thank you to @plum-petunia for finding this <2

Examining the Social Tabooisation of Asexuality: The Underpinnings of Anti‑Asexual Bias - Grigoropoulos Iraklis

Chasing Aces: Asexuality, Misinformation and the Challenges of Identity - Adrienne Colborne

An Intersectional Exploration of Outness, Encountered Discrimination and Violence, and Non-Suicidal Self-Injury among Asexual Youth across Gender Identities - Zurong Liang

LGBTQ Minus: Predictors of Anti-Asexual Bias Among Straight, Gay, and Bisexual Individuals - Nicholas A. Ashenfelter

“And Now I’m Just Different, but There’s Nothing Actually Wrong With Me”: Asexual Marginalization and Resistance - Kristina Gupta

On the ace community

Asexuality: A Mixed-Methods Approach - Lori A. Brotto et al.

‘”Asexual” Isn’t Who I Am’: The Politics of Asexuality - Matt Dawson et al.

Asexuality is inversely associated with positive body image in British adults - Viren Swami et al.

“What Can Asexuality Offer Sociology ? Insights from the 2017 Asexual Community Census” thank you to this anon on my main blog for finding this <2

Establishing Asexual Identity: The Essential, the Imaginary, and the Collective - Agata Pacho

2022 Ace Community Survey Summary Report - Ai Baba et al.

Belonging to the Ace Spectrum: Correlates of Cognitions, Feelings, and Desires of Ace Individuals - A. Catarina Carvalho et al.

There’s more to life than sex? Difference and commonality within the asexual community - Mark Carrigan

The lives of asexual individuals outside of sexual and romantic relationships: education, occupation, religion and community - Esther D. Rothblum

On asexuality and the queer community

Queering Asexuality: Asexual-Inclusion in Queer Spaces - Dominique A. Canning

What Asexuality Contributes to the Same-Sex Marriage Discussion - Kristin S. Scherrer

Asexual and Non-Asexual Respondents from a U.S. Population Based Study of Sexual Minorities - Esther D. Rothblum et al.

“I Didn’t Know Ace Was a Thing”: Bisexuality and pansexuality as identity pathways in asexual identity formation - Canton Winer

(A)Sexuality Online: Self-Discovery, Exclusion, and Community in the Digital Age of Asexuality - Lauren Kauenhofen

Too Queer to be Queer? Revisiting the Metaphysics and Epistemology of Asexuality - Abigail Klassen

Uncertain Belonging: Asexuality and Queer Nightlife - Canton Winer

Asexual Borderlands: Asexual Collegians’ Reflections on Inclusion Under the LGBTQ Umbrella - Amanda L. Mollet

On asexuality in different parts of the world

Patterns of asexuality in the United States - Dudley Poston

Patterns of Asexuality in China: Sexual Activity, Sexual and Romantic Attraction, and Sexual Desire - Lijun Zheng et al.

Constructions of Asexual Identity in China: Intersections of Class, Gender, Region of Residence, and Asexuality - Day Wong et al.

Seeing the Invisible: Asexuality in the South - Ellie Campbell

On intersectionality

Asexuality in disability narratives - Eunjung Kim

You have to be normal to be abnormal: an empirically grounded exploration of the intersection of asexuality and disability - Karen Cuthbert

Asexuality and epistemic injustice: a gendered perspective - Karen Cuthbert

“When We Talk about Gender We Talk about Sex”: (A)sexuality and (A)gendered Subjectivities - Karen Cuthbert

Theorizing Conscious Black Asexuality through Claire Kann’s Let’s Talk about Love - Brittney Miles

Variations in suicidality across multiple social identities in asexual people: An intersectionality analysis - Sinéad Kelleher

Contested Intersections: Asexuality and Disability, Illness, or Trauma - A. Kurowicka

Does Everyone Have a Gender? Compulsory Gender, Gender Detachment, and Asexuality - Canton Winer

The Intersection of Gender Diversity and Asexuality Psychotherapy with TGNC Individuals Who Identify as Ace - Katherine Rachlin

Beyond the Label: Asexual Identity Among Individuals on the High‑Functioning Autism Spectrum - Scott T. Ronis et al.

Sexual, Romantic, and Community Experiences of Individuals at the Intersection of Autism and Asexuality - Randolph C. H. Chan

On researching asexuality

Understanding asexuality: A sociological review - Canton Winner

Methodological Issues for Studying Asexuality - Andrew C. Hinderliter

A Validated Measure of No Sexual Attraction: The Asexuality Identification Scale - Morag A. Yule et al.

What can Asexuality do for Queer Theories? - Anna Kurowicka

On asexuality and relationships/sex

Asexuality and relationship investment: visible differences in relationship investment for an invisible minority - Jared M. Edge

Asexual scripts: A grounded theory inquiry into the intrapsychic scripts asexuals use to negotiate romantic relationships - Haefner, Carol

The nuances of intimacy: Asexual perspectives and experiences with dating and relationships. - Brooke Higginbottom

Ace of (BDSM) clubs: Building asexual relationships through BDSM practice - Lorca Jolene Sloan

Sexual Fantasy and Masturbation Among Asexual Individuals: An In-Depth Exploration - Morag A. Yule et al.

Patterns of Genital and Subjective Sexual Arousal in Cisgender Asexual Men - Malvina N. Skorska et al.

Physiological and Subjective Sexual Arousal in Self-Identified Asexual Women - Lori A. Brotto et al.

Deepening Sexual Desire and Erotic Fantasies Research in the ACE Spectrum: Comparing the Experiences of Asexual, Demisexual, Gray‑Asexual, and Questioning People - Filippo Maria Nimb

Asexuality, Affect Aliens, and Digital Affect Cultures: Relationality with the Happy Objects of Sexual and Romantic Relationships - Charnell Peters

Other interesting ace related reads

Contradictions in the Representation of Asexuality: Fiction and Reality - Gwendolyn Osterwald

Asexuality and the Potential of Young Adult Literature for Disrupting Allonormativity - Patricia Kennon

A mystery wrapped in an enigma – asexuality: a virtual discussion - C. J. Bishop

‘You have to coin new things’: sexual and gender identity discourses in asexual, queer, and/or trans young people’s networked counterpublics - Zach Schudson

Asexuality, the Internet, and the Changing Lexicon of Sexuality - Jo Teut

“I am not a Robot, I am Asexual”: A Qualitative Critique of Allonormative Discourses of Ace and Aro Folks as Robots, Aliens, Monsters - Ben Brandley

Other lists of ace resources

Asexual theory 101 by @leikeliscomet. thank you to @plum-petunia for finding this <2

The Asexuality and Aromanticism Bibliography

If you know of any other free ressource about asexuality please consider adding to this list

Free (mostly academic) aro theory resources

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Free (mostly academic) aro theory resources

On Amatonormativity

Amatonormativity, Aromanticism, and What Defines a Relationship - Rilee Granger

Amatonormativity in the Law: An Introduction - Silver Flight

"Allonormativity and Compulsory Sexuality" (chapter 6 of Encyclopedia of Queer Studies in Education) - Stephanie Anne Shelton

'I Dont Want To be a Playa No More': An Exploration of the Denigrating effects of 'Player' as a Stereotype Against African American Polyamorous Men - Justin L. Clardy

On Relationship Anarchy

The short instructional manifesto for relationship anarchy - Andie Nordgren

The Relationship Anarchy website

Thinking Relationship Anarchy from a Queer Feminist Approach - Roma De las Heras Gómez

Beyond romantic love – an analysis of how the dilemma of closeness vs. autonomy is handled in relationship anarchy discourse - Ricardo Guillén

The Ethics of Relationship Anarchy - Ole Martin Moen

On community

Examining aromantic and asexual inclusion in queer-serving organizations - based on Lauren Lichty's work

Exploring Aromanticism Through an Online Qualitative Investigation With the Aromantic Community: “Freeing, Alienating, and Utterly Fantastic” - James Fowler et al.

Community Listening Sessions with Aromantic People: Summary and Recommendations Report

Aurea Aro Census

Sexuality, romantic orientation, and masculinity: Men as underrepresented in asexual and aromantic communities - Hannah Tessler

On QueerPlatonic Relationships

Queerplatonic Zucchinis: A Short Primer - Omnes and Nihil (unsure)

Queering the Nuclear Family - Katie Linder

Queer(ing) consensual nonmonogamies, queering therapy: queer intimacy, kinship, and experiences of CNM in LGBTQIA+ lives - Christian Klesse et al.

On intersectionality

Intimacy and Desire Through the Lens of an Aro-Ace Woman of Color

Being Aroflux & Black - Kimberley Butler

Transitioning into Aromanticism as a Trans Student - Amethyst

Existing and Defying Stereotypes as an A-spec Disabled Person - Sapphire Crimson Claw

A Reflection on the March Carnival of Aros (several testimonies by aros of color and non-cis/non-het aros are linked in this article)

Other aro-related interesting reads

New Dimensions, New Directions: Asexualities and Aromanticism in the 21st Century - Megan Carroll et al.

Enriching the Story: Asexuality and Aromanticism in Literature - Adrienne Whisman

The Importance of Representation for Lesser-Known Sexual Identities on the Example of Asexuality and Aromanticism - Jasmin Kiechle

Experiences of Italian Asexual and Aromantic Individuals in Healthcare Settings: from Explicitly Aggressive to Affirming Interactions

Other lists of aro-related ressources (not all sources listed in these are free though)

by Aurea

The Asexuality and Aromanticism Bibliography

If you know of any other free ressource about aromanticism please consider adding to this list

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ayyyyyy, shoutout to bunnings stocking a colour called “ace of spades” for giving me this idea

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I had to make these memes featuring the Ace King himself. Congrats to everyone on the aromantic and/or asexual spectrums for dodging the nuclear warhead that is modern dating.