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Brandywine Falls. 

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Why blend in when you were born to stand out?

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Friday August 30th, 2019

Amasa Stone Chapel - A few weeks ago, I attended a special memorial service with my classmates. We dressed our best, listened intently and absorbed the various emotions of the room. We said our goodbyes to our first patients that day, while their families bid a perhaps, solemn, final farewell.

Cadaver dissection is a rite of passage in the embarkment to learning medicine. It is where we are first introduced to the human body. We are introduced to its awe-inspiring physiological workings, the pure fragility of life itself and the whirlwind of life stories that are uncovered with the aid of a single cut. 

I will never know if the nail polish on my patient’s fingers was her favorite shade and what memories she created from those eyes. What I do know well is her heart. Her heart, the size of a small dragon fruit, was big, big enough to tell a wise tale to 38 students on what it means to have heart. 

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Content

Lake Erie - Last weekend, I needed to decompress from a long day of intense studying. I had a strong urge to wallow into nature and get lost in the woods, my usual retreat during stressful times. Life can get busy and these past couple of months have felt like a marathon. My current joys include: my morning walks to school as the moon and sun say their hellos and goodbyes, the s’mores chocolate chip cookies served at a quaint coffee shop within campus and nights that I get a full 8 hours of sleep. Deprivation is a word I have learned to caress. In light, without deprivation, true appreciation cannot transform. 

So be it, I will not forget the immense waves of clarity that washed over me as soon as I stepped onto the short 0.5 hike that would eventually lead me to this. The dimly lit sky, the song of crickets filling my ears, the vast trees and tall grasses that swayed to a warm breeze; I felt at ease, at home, truly content for the moment.  As I watched the sun drift off, I was later joined with company- a young couple, who arrived for a picnic date and a young man with a camera around his neck. Strangers, at last, but connected through this beauty.

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Anatomy Shenanigans

Today in class, I learned a useful tool: how to use my entire body to pretend that I am a uterus...

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Changes

...I am living in Ohio now, in the city of Cleveland. Oh what fun it has been. Moving here was an adventure. When I left John Wayne Airport, I became very emotional. I tried my best to keep my composure at the airport with mom, dad and Levi, but I let loose once I got on the plane. Sitting in the middle seat between two strangers, tears ran down my cheeks as I closed my eyes and thought of all the sweet memories I held onto - memories with family, friends, work colleagues; they were all rooting for me to thrive. So why was I sad? Everyone would be right there waiting for me. No one was going anywhere...except me. I sat there, quietly reminiscing, looking like a crazy person with my eyes closed, hair in my face, scrunched up forehead. I couldn't tease out my real feelings. All I knew was that I was taking a big step forward. There was no going back. The best that I could do for myself was to remind the irrational side of me, as to why I started - 'always strive to be the best version of yourself.'

Settling in was a crazy process in and of itself:

1. I arrived around midnight, eastern time

2. My uber driver turned out to be a kind, older and wise man who gifted me with his knowledge of the ins and outs of Cleveland

3. My airbnb host waited for me to arrive at the stay to personally hand me the keys to the place, as she feared the danger of me arriving alone at night

4. The next morning, me, myself, my backpack and two luggages rolled out to the streets to walk 2 miles towards my new home

5. About a mile into my walk, I noticed a car on the opposite side of the street slow its speed and make a u-turn towards me...The car stopped right next to me and in the passenger side, out popped out a head of a girl, seemingly in her early 20's, offering me a ride to wherever I was going. Both girls claimed to be of students at Case Western and although my mom's voice echoed in the back of my brain, my aching feet, back and arms said yes. But fear not! This story has a happy ending. I arrived at my destination safe and sound

6. Upon arrival, my landlord offered to help with my move, even offering a trip to the grocery store. As my mom's voice again echoed, "Don't talk to strangers, don't look at strangers, be a stranger!"...I politely declined

7. The whole day consisted of me settling in, organizing my room, making 4 trips to Walmart with multiple, full carts-worth of necessities...my poor uhaul truck

Around 10pm, I called it quits, had a cup of noodles for dinner and passed out shortly after. Although the process was extremely tiring, physically, mentally and emotionally, in retrospect, I wouldn't have wanted to experience this big change in any other way. The first couple days alone were the hardest. I felt so homesick. I felt out of place. I didn't know where the nearest boba tea place was, if such a place even existed, I missed the smell of my dog, the sound of my neighbor's kids' chit chat, the corn man honking his horn around the corner of the street. My only life support were text messages, old videos, photos and calls from my dear family and friends. But I guess it is all part of growing up. Before leaving, I did not see it in me to be capable of doing all that I have done and am currently doing, but that is a story for another day. I have voluntarily jumped out of a plane twice, bungee jumped off a bridge, twice, and took a ride on the perilous zipper ride at our annual Strawberry Festival. Nothing compares to moving to a new city, solo. It is a must try...I promise, you will not regret it.