abirdinparadise

[abirdinparadise]

my investment journey

May 22, 2024 | 7:32 am

i’ve been longing to share my experience on this part. how it changes my perspective of life, test my faith/relationships and how the impossible can be possible.

this sharing is more about life lesson. i learn a lot this past 5 looooong years and i don’t care what people say (jk i just feel like sharing je) but more importantly for myself, untuk dikenang-kenangkan dan beringat selalu, in sha Allah.

my very first investment was back in 2018, when i was doing intern. i think masa ni i was bored at the workplace that’s why i decided to try. i invested through one of my friends, S and my modal was RM100. i was 23. 23 ok. young, dumb and broke, haha.

i was never believe in investment truthfully. it was more try and error. i want to explore. so from RM100 it grew bit by bit then i decided topup lagi modal with my PT study loan (yg i managed to save) RM2,000. yang ini i memang ‘gamble’ 😂 took the risk, and memang tawakkal just in case duit lesap, i 100% berserah haha. ada rezeki, adalah. masa ni nothing much to think of, jiwa muda, commitment tak seberapa, kahwin pun belum. jadi tak apalah, kita cuba.

before that, i didn’t joined forex tau, things yg pelik-pelik and tak patuh syariah. it was more on properties & hotels like MK Land, Sapura, Desaru, Mah Sing etc. those two tengah top, profit rate was crazy high.

i putted each on different slots with different kind of profit rate. slowly it went from this to that till one point they reached RM56,000 in just several months. happy la. bak kata p ramlee dunia ini “ana yang punyerr”. rasa macam mimpi, in denial but overall, grateful…

i started giving my parents money. pernah sekali masa arwah ayah tengok tv, i handed him few, excited sangat muka dia tau... 🥹 i mean huhu i am very close to my dad.. a hardworking man, very knowledgeable, strive to support us.. siang malam kerja; and ofc that is every child’s goal — to make parents happy. dapat belanja makan, belanja jalan-jalan. i get to pamper myself also. rezeki la memang Allah bagi.

masa ni i rolling lagi and lagi. i never stop rolling. that was my weakness. i joined more properties & hotels serentak and by the time i was 24, i was making almost half of M.

half of M.

wow….

(now i know how the rich becomes richer)

tak puas lagi ni… not sure is it because i was too ambitious, or dah jadi tamak, but i promise myself if i can hit 1M before 25, i want to take my family to perform Umrah.

but lesson learned 😂

never happened YET 😂

when i thought NOTHING could go wrong, BIG MISTAKE 😂😂😂 last 4 months before covid, i put almost 80% of my profit to invest and yeah.. 🥹

covid came.

all. stop.

— including the world.

Tuhan kalau nk uji, kan?

[to be continued]

[abirdinparadise]

repost this bcs i think i deleted it 🥹

[abirdinparadise]

11 ramadhan 1442AH | April 23, 2021

bismillah

it’s been too long i haven’t write anything here. today after fajr, i can’t sleep. decided to write things been happening to me.

today is my 3rd day after surgery removing my left fallopian tube. had surgery at 5:30am on April 21 and warded for 3 days 2 night.

find out i was pregnant late march, had bleeding on April 7-8. quickly my husband and i went nearby hospital. done UTP test + 7 ATTEMPTS taking blood with 2 SUCCESSIVE ONES (if ppl see me they would say i take drugs) waited almost a day for my blood test and the doc said i am pregnant. but bcs i was bleeding heavily and they can’t find amniotic sac (kantung baby) inside my womb, they said i experiencing chemical pregnancy. so they discharged me the same day as they say it will naturally come out. no need to do D&C. no 2nd appointment.........

so the bleeding continued till 2nd day of ramadhan. almost a week plus. then april 20, as i was working, i realized something coming out from my V. again, i was bleeding heavily. but beforehand, that fajr i was having worst cramp ever & it goes to back. i knew there was something wrong but yeah i ignored it (so learn from me, never even ignore ur instincts!) so i stop my work immediately. called my husband & my mum, went back home then to hospital. in my mind, i thought it was an infection or something, but turns out......

i was still pregnant......

7 weeks...........

and it was ectopic pregnancy......

shocked. sad. definitely angry at the first doc. the current doc said i have to be warded and do operation immediately as she saw there was bleeding inside my womb. numb. no words could describe how i feel. but one thing for sure, i was afraid... in time of covid, no one can be by my side including my husband. i was alone throughout the process. and it was my first operation.

called my husband who outside hospital. told him i had to be warded. he knows i was crying. couldn’t hide my tone and my eyes. we both cried. he told me i can do this and said how much he loves me.

i said.... ok..... called my mum and close family members/friends about the news. after that all settled, i focus on myself. worst part hasn’t come yet. THE WAITING.

(1)

[abirdinparadise]

13 muharam 1442 AH • sept 1, 2020

it’s been awhile i haven’t post anything here. there’s a lot going on in my life & alhamdulillah on august 16, 2020 i got married to my 5 years soulmate! alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.

may we find ourselves together here and in Jannah, in sha Allah.

[abirdinparadise]

7 dhu’lqaidah 1441H

yesterday i got engaged. exciting, overwhelming, nervous, sad, all in once. sad remembering my dad couldn’t be here and nervous for what’s ahead. so urm... yup. one step closer in marriage.

(really. really. am. nervous.)

to the love of my life, i’m trying not to ruin our moment by being sad and miserable. thank u for the rings, thank u for wanting me as your future wife.

i’m happy and blessed. Alhamdulillah, thank u Allah.

[abirdinparadise]

14 shawal 1441

sometimes i tend to forget kita hidup di dunia ni hanyalah sementara. we end up going to die anyway. losing my love one is so much painful than i could remember — and the last time i lost someone was my dad, almost 6 months ago.

but now, i think my cat might leave us whole family too. just now i took him to the vet and left with teary eyes. last thing i want for him is to suffer while dying just like my previous cat. lesson learned, i decided to cheerish his last moments by giving him good meals and good ending.

looking at his eyes, his whole body, his sweet characters, his non stop meow, his favorite spot, i will truly going to miss this boy once he’s gone.. yes, we are destined to die. sooner or later.. this world is just temporary.. wish i could meet all my cats soon in heaven.. i know they will be at peace but the process of dying that scared the crap out of me.

i love u sayang, i know u knew.

[abirdinparadise]

10 shawal 1441

wow so much going on right now. with riots in the US, political issues here in MY and worldwide dealing with covid-19, we need a miracle. so many people are hurting, emotionally and physically i can say.

even i am.

with negative things happen, i tend to lose control. and it keeps on getting worse. i keep thinking about dunya more than hereafter — even when i pray. i see the changes in me, i don’t focus in my prayer.

may Allah eases this inside burden of me, help me get through this and strengthen my inner faith.

[abirdinparadise]

7 shawal 1441

have u ever just like want to complaint IT OUT LOUD about how terrible ur days are or how gloomy ur feeling is but they won’t come out? have u ever feel like something’s doesn’t go well and ur plans so mixed up? and have u ever cry for having too much concerns in ur head and heavy burden in ur chest?

my dear, u are not alone.

as u walk into those path, bear this in mind, God is preparing u for something good to be true — and maybe, somewhere if u look beyond, He is answering ur prayer. ur dua. when ure making a dua on what u want, He gives u a journey. the journey that urself might not like, the journey where it turns u to a brand new one. the one that u wish for ;)

when u ask make u be a strong/sabr person, He send u hardship. when u ask for sustenance, He send u someone or animals indeed of ur help — and when u in despair and ask for growth of Imaan, u will notice that He’s pulling u right back to Him, maybe when ure scrolling IG/twitter or through ur deep down instinct. trust and hear ur inner self. believe in it. take action on it.

i just realize this new perspective few minutes ago. as im going too much lately, i started question WHY this is happening. it just struck me that this is what i have been seek/pray/ask/want for. the forgiveness of Him, the wanting to have higher Imaan and faith, the wanting of helping out my family financially, etc.

i heard of this quote said we need to have good impression with God in good or even u are in deep ocean of negativity. it can get hard sometimes, but i believe it’s related. when u put ur trust on Him (tawakkal), insha Allah the difficulties ur facing will be ease. u inner self will be in ease, everything. i know, easy to say but hard to be done, but at least we need to try and practice in our life.

also, keep saying positive things in everything. ignore and avoid surrounding that would effect ur mood. u have control of urself. u can do this!

[abirdinparadise]

1 shawal 1441

it’s sunday and eid ul fitr. time doesn’t just fly this time, i think it uses lightning. so fast i barely believe we are already the end of ramadhan. and as i writing this, it’s 8:02am. takbir is everywhere.

first day and first year raya without my dad. kinda gives me that sad-overwhelming feeling. did got myself teary eyes but i try to be strong. i have to, i got to. today isn’t about remembering sad but to embrace joy.

i’m going to miss ramadhan. for the very first time, i truly am. the month where i did my best to perform more ibadah, the month where i struggle yet made it into the world of calmness and the month where i tryna figure out why/who am i. it is such a beautiful month indeed, i just realized that.

salam eid ul fitr u guys, may we get a chance to experience next year ramadhan, inshaAllah ♡

[abirdinparadise]

wish i could help everybody

— literally everybody.

but now all i can do is help as much and possible as i can. there are so many people out there who struggle to survive; in need of money, place to stay, food to eat, clean clothes and other necessities as well.

this doesn’t include stray animals on the streets and wild animals run by NGOs. since mro, i know they strive to finance the costs of the animals plus to pay their staffs. definitely not an easy thing to do.

scrolling through twitter, i see their struggle, i see their pain. a father lost his job, a single mother have to be prisoned for going out during mro, some SMEs have to close down, worst — a family who doesn’t has anything to eat.

nothing more i wish, except a time where i could help them all. a wish and a dua.

inshaAllah

وَارْزُقْنَا وَأَنتَ خَيْرُ الرَّازِقِينَ

“and provide for us, and You are the best of providers”

“dan kurniakanlah rezeki kepada kami, kerana Engkau jualah sebaik-baik Pemberi rezeki”

(surah al-ma’idah: 114)

[abirdinparadise]

21 sha’ban 1441H

as ramadhan is getting closer and quarantine extended further, it’s definitely a good time to upgrade more good deeds.

there’s so much i want to improve myself especially my relationship with god and humans. also, i’m honesty glad that somehow quran has become part of my daily routine (alhamdulillah) and hopefully by Allah’s will, it goes on for a long-term ♡

بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ

[abirdinparadise]

[abirdinparadise]

April 5, 2020

Today i started my day doing chores with pramlee’s songs such getaran jiwa, ali baba’s ost, maafkan kami and many more. I realize listening to nostalgic with such soft melodies REALLY help improve my mood — and bring back the old era that ive been imagined in my head.

U know when u watch pramlee movies or read kampung boy journey — ladies wearing kebaya, the outside toilet, the buildings, the dance (omg) and my most favorite part is the housing area — u can see the friendliness within the neighbors, semangat perpaduan is there. Malay, Chinese, Indian.

Nothing to be worry, nothing to be upset about. Hidup dulu-dulu so simple, so nice.. they don’t have technology like nowadays but they do have life ♡

....seems i do have an old soul after all.

P. Ramlee & Saloma - Malam Bulan Dipagar Bintang

A beautiful classic from the classiest pair ever.

[abirdinparadise]

[abirdinparadise]

Decided to open back tumblr as i feel like writing. it has ALWAYS been my thing to write and record every. single. things. that is happening. My cats die, the nature, my mum’s cook, etc etc la.

And now currently it’s been phase 2 quarantine which should be ended April 14, 2020 but let see how. This might be a good time to write back hehe.