abloodyicon

[abloodyicon]

// Hey, everyone.

Without going to into detail, I'm just going to apologise and drop in to say that a few things have happened here to keep me from having much time or motivation to be here. I'll sit down to write and I just... can't do it... I'm sorry. I'm here still... I watch, I read. I'm trying to work up what I can to get things done. Hopefully today... thank you for your patience... :/

[abloodyicon]

     "You're wrong. Maybe you took out others in the past... maybe you think you can do it again, but lemme tell you something... they didn't have me to back them up. You wanna pick a fight with this galaxy? It's under my damn protection."

abloodyicon

[abloodyicon]

[abloodyicon]

♣ !! ??

♣ a drunk text

[OmniTool TXT Host]: OMega [OmniTool TXT Host]: hiw did I get rhis number[OmniTool TXT Host]: Can i cal l ypu omea [OmniTool TXT Host]: *omega [OmniTool TXT Host]: lmfap does thiscount as duckin wtih aaria[OmniTool TXT Host]: oMEGA IM FUCKIN WITJ ARIA[OmniTool TXT Host]: YOUR RULE S ARe nno mATH FOR ME

!! a threatening text 

[OmniTool TXT Host]: You lied to me. You think this is some kind of game?[OmniTool TXT Host]: …nice rafters you have here. You like games? Let’s play.[OmniTool TXT Host]: For each minute that goes by and you withhold more information, I test out the new mods for my sniper rifle on one of your guards. Start singing, T’Loak.

?? a strange/vague text 

[OmniTool TXT Host]: If you see a Krogan with a Husk hand on his belt, tell him he owes me my 200 credits and I don’t like being played for a damn fool.

[abloodyicon]

Joker

Joker: What’s one thing that you wish you could do, but can’t? 

Ouch. That was a question that managed to sting… Why? She didn’t know… wasn’t certain.

Perhaps there was quite a bit that the Commander wished she could do… She wished she could work flawlessly… she wished that she could wave her hand and send the Reapers back into Hell. She wished that she could take back Virmire, Tuchanka, Rannoch… She wished that she had focused more energy on Kepral’s… and protecting Thane just as he had protected her… The woman took a deep breath, holding the trembling that resided beneath it to a minimum…

"I wish I could… s-save everyone." Her tone was naught but a whisper, as though the words had caught in her throat, as though she were ashamed of the fact that she had to wish for such a thing…

[abloodyicon]

But aren't you and Jack dating? I mean seriously. Just kiss already. The sexual tension is making it hard to breathe.

"There’s a big difference between sexual tension and regular tension.

     We are not dating.”

[abloodyicon]

THE END {listen}

After all you did, is this your reward? {a mix for every drop of blood Commander Shepard shed for every race in the galaxy}

TRACKLIST:

01:00. HEAVEN - Beyonce

02:00. YOUTH - Daughter

03:00. I WISH I WAS THE MOON - Neko Case

04:00. SATELLITE - Anya Marina

05:00. BALTIMORE’S FIREFLIES - Woodkid

06:00. EXILE VILIFY - The National

07:00. ISCARIOT - Walk The Moon

08:00. TESSELLATE - Alt-J

09:00. HONEST - The Neighbourhood

10:00. STAY FT. MIKKY EKKO - Rihanna

11.00. SHAKE ME DOWN - Cage The Elephant

12:00. WHITE BLANK PAGE - Mumford & Sons

[abloodyicon]

// Hey, guys. I'm gonna be pretty scarce this weekend. dyingassassin is here and we're cosplaying, conventioning, and causing general chaos in this town. I'll be around on mobile but my longer posts will be drafted until Monday or so. <3

[abloodyicon]

No matter how insignificant we might be - we will fight, we will sacrifice and we will find a way. That’s what humans do.

[abloodyicon]

Mass Effect 1 ——> Mass Effect 3

[abloodyicon]

The splatter of blood beneath his hands makes his stomach heave in protest, but he doesn’t let it pull his mind away from the battle raging around him. Leg stinging with pain, he pushes himself to his feet again, his fingers curling in on his palms as he summons his biotics. His gun lies several feet behind enemy lines, and his eyes lock on it for one long moment. What he’d do to have it back in his hands.

Screams echo up and down the battlefield turning his blood to ice. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Everything was supposed to go according to plan… What had changed in the hour since he had arrived at the LZ? Nothing, he promised himself, his eyes pulling themselves away from his lost gun to stare at an approaching banshee. Nothing had changed. The plan had been doomed from the start.

Around him he could see reaper troops closing in on him. He was the last one standing and they were going to kill him. The Alliance would find him and the rest of his squad and they’d know they had failed. Guilt and uncertainty shot through him. What if Shepard had been here? Would she have managed to save them all?

The banshee teleported to his left, his ear popping from the shrill screech it released when it caught sight of him again. The major could almost feel the hot breaths of the mostly synthetic beings, a shiver of terror racking his body. 

Shepard.

There was so much he had to tell her. Everything he had left unsaid bubbled to life on his tongue, and he inhaled shakily. His lips moved as he began slowly reciting the list of things he wanted to say to the commander.

"I forgive you." 

A sharp gasp of pain left his lips as a sharp fragment from a nearby explosion caught him in the shoulder, but he continued, “I’m sorry.”

The reaper troops were closing in around him, their eyes gleaming with glee, if such monsters could feel such emotions. He was breathing heavily, his breaths coming in quick, short bursts. Kaidan heard and saw rather than felt the banshee’s claws slide through his stomach severing his spinal cord as it lifted him off the ground. Head falling backwards he looked up at the night sky, and picked a star.

Praying it was the right one, he whispered, “I love you.”

[abloodyicon]

     So, what, that was her game?

     She needed some sort of feeling of entitlement? For a moment and a half, Shepard almost pushes the biotic right the Hell off of her and stands up... but she takes an extra second or so to think better of the option, and instead allows that daft grin at her lips to fade haphazardly into a smirk, through which comes a cool muttering of, "You think you can just come into my cabin and order me around?"

     Her eyes are narrow, though more due to focus than to glare, and one of the Commander's hands traces backwards upon that orange fabric of Jack's pants, fingertips heavy upon the threads, short nails scraping almost soundlessly. She reaches out with her index finger, middle finger following suit, both looping through a strap on what (to the slightly inebriated Shepard) seemed to be a very complex piece of clothing and using her newfound grip as a vantage point. Her wrist flicks inward, elbow draws back, and sharply, effortlessly, Jane tugs the woman closer by the hips.

     "That's not how I run this ship, Jack. I thought you of all people would've figured that out by now." She pulls her knees up, further accentuating the fact that she's the one with the say... her voice lowered in tone, but not in volume, "You invited yourself up here. I let you in but don't push it-- I'm not gonna sit here and beg for the company."

With Shears So Sharp and Neat. | Jack and Jane.

    "Oh my god," she mutters, eyes rolling so hard they nearly drop out of her skull. Her facial expression turns into a coy, somewhat irritated smirk while she watches Shepard skitter like a clueless dumbass beneath her. “You are really fucking stupid, you know that?”

"Hey. HEY," she snaps, slapping her palm across Shepard’s cheek, as if to force the other woman to realize that she’s currently sitting atop her legs, pinning the other woman tightly beneath them. She’s got Shepard exactly where she wants her, and yet she refuses to force herself in any way upon Shep.

     "Hey. I know you’re still sober enough to know what the fuck is going on," she snaps as she pulls away, nudiging herself forward and away from Shepard’s lap. God, she doesn’t want to leave, but… this half-assed bullshit definitely isn’t good enough for her. “So I know you can understand me when I say I’m gonna fucking leave, unless you ask me to stay.Unless you tell me that you wabt me. I wanna hear shit. And I wanna hear it now.”.

[abloodyicon]

     "As well as I dance..." The woman murmurs a baffled repetition, seemingly before taking in the realisation that Jack is now for all intents and purposes on top of her. A stupid grin of sorts tugs at one corner of her mouth, a scar beside it glinting with the shift, "When've you seen me dance?" That shouldn't have been a question...

     When hadn't anyone seen her dance?      If by no other means than some poorly-recorded omni-vid.

     Shepard's head falls back as she tilts it to look at Jack more clearly, her skull making a solid thud against the base of the fish tank... but she doesn't seen to notice that. Red eyes squint as if to focus, and her hands raise a moment, unsure of what to do before they seem to decide that resting upon the other woman's legs is the best option, "I can handle my booze..." Her fingers drum off-beatedly against orange fabric.

With Shears So Sharp and Neat. | Jack and Jane.

   ”… right, yeah. Let me just—” As a set of slender digits reaches across the plastered, inebriated commander, clawing at the neck of the wuss juice bottle so she can toss that shit as far away from Shepard as possible. The loud, glass-like CLANG! that signifies it’s landed across the cabin barely even registers to her. “—cut you off, because holy fuck you’ve had enough.”

It’s hard not to smirk at how drunk this idiot is, though it’s not like she really makes an effort either way. Before the commander can scramble away to gather up the bottle and suck the last bits of intoxicant out, Jack lithely leans herself over, drapes one leg over Shep’s midsection, and plants herself directly atop her lap to pin her there.

    “So,” palms pressing against Shep’s shoulders now to keep her back against the fish tank, her voice impossibly coy. “The rest of the crew know you handle your booze about as well as you dance, or is that gonna be out little secret?”

[abloodyicon]

     She closed her eyes now, not out of anger, as she had averted before, but with an understanding,  dizzy sort of nod, her free hand swinging forward gently to catch his, fingers intertwining with his in an almost tangled manner... which, as broken a thought it might have been, seemed oddly appropriate... "You wish me happiness, Thane?"

     Jane bowed her head as she spoke, feeling some kind of motionless close-in between them, perhaps something soul-based... something Drell. Something that a human didn't and couldn't quite comprehend... or maybe it was just something so human that the hardened soldier alone couldn't wrap her once-dead head around...

     "Stop trying to push me away. I knew the cost of this when I walked into it. I still love you. And I'm not gonna just stop because of some ti--" Time constraint... She looked up at him again, "If anything, I want to be closer than ever to you now."

     Where the Hell was Shepard? This certainly wasn't the Commander with the scary scars and cold demeanour that the rest of the galaxy had come to steer clear.

"I know no such thing," he said softly, and a muscle jumped in his cheek as her fingers brushed across it. His eyes opened again, found hers watching him. "I know you fight to save a galaxy. I know you soothed the demons of your entire crew before the Collector base mission, my own included. I know you have brought hope to many people who were lost in darkness. I cannot fathom why you should not deserve happiness for such efforts…"

He was babbling almost — unusual for him, but he could not stop himself. Her dark appraisal of herself pained him. He lifted one hand, placed it over hers where it touched his jaw. 

"I wish you only happiness, siha. If I may provide it, I will as long as there is breath in my body, but…"

But…but…but…

But nothing lasts forever. And you and I know that better than most…

He turned his head, let his lips brush her palm. “I would not have you feel trapped,” he said quietly.

[abloodyicon]

     With every word from his mouth, Shepard could feel a fraction of relaxation upon her fingers, fists slowly releasing, and in turn, her shoulders sinking... the Commander didn't make a habit of looking weak, or even mildly saddened... but right then, she was unmistakably both. She swallowed hard over the lump in her throat, and drew in another breath, fairly certain that she had been holding the last one since her own query had been vocalised...

     "You give me so much more than that." she practically whispered, finally forcing her eyes upwards, turning towards him again... only to find that he had closed off as well.

     One hand raised cautiously, almost withdrawing before her fingertips grazed Thane's scaled cheek, "You know damn well that I don't deserve a thing in this galaxy... I don't know what kind of fate let me run into you, Thane, but don't you try to turn it on me." She offered a halfhearted (if even half) smile, brows tilting at the corners as she studied his face.

"Siha…"

He heard the anger in her voice, the pain. He reached out cautiously, touched her upper arm lightly, then drew back. He had hurt her with the question, and the thought pained him greatly.

You are so different from everyone I have known, siha. You have brought me back to life. You are the last person I could ever mean to hurt…

"It is not that I doubt you…it is not that I question your feelings, or your motives. I…"

The words stuck in his throat. He had to force them past lungs that stubbornly refused to voice them — and for once that stubbornness had nothing to do with his illness. 

"I wish you only happiness, siha," he said softly. "And perhaps that happiness will not come from loving a dying man. If I may…if I may ease the burden on you by releasing you, if it will soften the blow for you to draw back before it lands…I cannot object. I ask not because I doubt you meant your feelings…but because I love you too much to desire you to feel shackled to them…"

His voice broke and he looked down, away. “I wish I could give you what you deserve,” he said, almost inaudibly, his large dark eyes squeezing shut.

[abloodyicon]

'An asari walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why so blue?"'

     ”…is there more to this story?      I think I’m late for… something

[abloodyicon]

Letters from War || Shepard and Kaidan

Shepard,       I’m sorry for running off. If that’s the right way to put it. It just seemed like the smartest idea at the time, and we both seemed to need space. I didn’t want to leave though. My friends are on the Normandy, not here within Hackett’s inner circle. I honestly thought that leaving would be better. I’d be able to change the galaxy a little, balance out your ruthlessness with some of my less abrasive tactics, but now that I’m here… I don’t do very much.       And yet being away from you… It gives me time to clear my head. When I’m around you I just can’t stop thinking, reliving old memories and wondering were everything fell apart. And I think, no I know it was Horizon, and it’s entirely my fault, but what else was I supposed to do? I lost two years of m life waiting for you, and just as I was starting to turn myself around you appeared, and suddenly I just… I didn’t know what to do with myself.      And the thing is… I still have feelings for you.      I know you don’t feel the same, which makes it harder to be on the Normandy. I look at you, and I want what we used to have, and I know we never will. You’re too busy fighting this war, and I… I’m too busy trying to keep you from killing yourself and everyone following you. Not that I’ll be able to do much from here. But God, Shepard. I just… I just want you to do the right thing. And yeah that means I got angry, but I wanted to make sure you were doing the right thing.      I’m sorry. For everything… But I did what I thought was right. And I jsut wanted you to know that in case… In case I don’t make it back to the Normandy to tell you. Good luck, Shepard.                                       Kaidan