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6/1/2023: the Day of Cory.

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The perfect ambush predator, ish.

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Let this be a warning to the others not to bite me on the face at 4:30 a.m.

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For all my JewishTM brothers and sisters.

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So I guess this is where the N train lets off now.

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Things could be worse.

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Dear Sir, I demand satisfaction. SATISFY ME.

So, any ideas as to why I lost my tiny little mind after the Chris Lehmann launch party last night?  Y'know, besides lingering adrenalin from the social anxiety that chesbursts Aliens-style whenever I go to parties solo, and is the reason I will never successfully work in media in this town?

Anyway, I guess I e-mailed Colin Robinson of OR Books that evening, aside from splashing up the bitchy comment on the Awl. In the name of full disclosure, not to mention self-shaming and maybe some faint desire for absolution (but also a faint desire for a free book, because I left a party sad and drunk), it is verbatim:

Colin-- I was privileged to get a heads-up via the Awl for the Rich People Things launch party. I was a little surprised, however, at how little interest OR had in selling me a copy of Chris' book. See, it turns out I was exactly $.09 short, and the woman working the table refused to accept $14.91. This makes perfect sense.  There's no reason why she should accept $14.91, as the book costs $15.00. So I went to the ATM on the other side of the wall, and got out $20.  This involved a $2.25 service fee, but hey, I went to your launch party, and I did so because I would like to read the book that was being launched! Needless to say, I was summarily informed that she wouldn't make change.  And also she still wouldn't accept the $14.91 for the $15.00 book. I'm somewhat pissed because I ended up being socked with a completely unnecessary $2.25 service charge at the ATM. But, okay, argument goes there was no reason I HAD to go to Le Poisson Rouge's ATM instead of my own bank's. Indeed, I guess it's my own fault for going to your launch party without making every possibly accommodation for your imprint's customer service needs.  And of course, you stood on principle to guarantee that Chris would make $2.00 instead of $1.91.  Furthermore, it clearly made financial sense to stand on principle, because there was no chance I would recommend this book to my friends, or buy it for anyone for Christmas.  Way to defend the future of publishing, you guys!

Nice book you put out.  Very populist. 

Long story short, I'm somewhat pissed, for reasons that should now be obvious.

Sincerely,

[redacted]

Consumer

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Just So You Don't Get the Wrong Idea, pt. 1

God, I've been tired and achy for like a month now. NO MONO.

Mmm, Little Debbie's Snack Cakes. NO HOHO.

I'm really pathetically late on sarcastically embracing this meme. NO POMO.