aboutmyinnerself

[aboutmyinnerself]

[aboutmyinnerself]

Oh well, am I actually better? I cant even answer that, I'm alive, I guess. I'm not crying right now tho, that honestly because I'm in public, that's actually all. I hate seeing him deeply inlove with her, but I'm actually so happy for her, I mean, she deserves it after all, even after breaking me apart. I think I'm over that tho, at least as long as im not thinking about it, I can say taht I'm over it. I felt betrayed, unwanted and worthless, I wanna feel my worth again, but I won't, atleast until I find someone that actually cares, they didn't. They did all that to me. I'm not saying I'm teh best friend or person, I just keep thinking taht I didn't deserve that. Can u understand?

[aboutmyinnerself]

2 days after writing that, I'm better, I guess, still with my airpods always on, but im better

[aboutmyinnerself]

I'm not better, I'm just in public.

[aboutmyinnerself]

No I cant do this anymore, each day I feel worse and worse, I hope deleting socials for a while will improve the way I feel but I just think I might breakdown in tears any second. I feel useless, I feel unworthy I feel disgusted my myself, I simply feel like leaving is a good solution, I honestly thinkni deserve nothing at this point, I am really trying but nothing goodbis coming my way. And everything I have dissaperars, I'm not ok. Leaving that friendship felt like the right decision then, but right now I feel lonelyer than I've ever been while they have a big friend group and have someone to talk to when they need help. What am I doing wrong? Don't I deserve anything? My life's crashing in front my eyes and all I can do is cry because I can't do this anymore, I feel like I might do something that I'll regret every second now.

[aboutmyinnerself]

I'm back, and worse than before, I'm over him tho, just overwhelmed full of emotions I cant describe or talk about, hope I'll open up here

[aboutmyinnerself]

I really miss him, I hate that we didn't keep in touch, we don't talk, we didn't talk since that night, that one night, that will remember all my life, the way we were dancing, and that song "oh my love, my lover I belong to you" I really did belong to him, I miss him so much, I really hope I'll see him again.

[aboutmyinnerself]

I have nothing to say

Luck is never my way

Id say what I have to say

But scared it wont be the same way.

#poetry #myinnerself #aboutme

[aboutmyinnerself]

I ca-n thank elisa lam, for insipiring me to come here, fly high angel🕊, after lostening to her story I thought I could searching for comfort right here, on this app, and make this my blog, to write my story.

[aboutmyinnerself]

I dont actually know what I am supposed to do here, how I actually get to know people, and vice versa.

[aboutmyinnerself]

I dont want to sound jealousy bcs I am not, well, partially, I kind off am, no one count me as their best friend, although I count them as one.

[aboutmyinnerself]

I see I am nothing special to anyone, no one actually cares and I am no ones favorite, yes I have friends, and I do get along with people, but they don't just get along with ME.

[aboutmyinnerself]

I never really cared about apperances, actually, who am I lying too? All my life that was what my love is about, the way I look, how much I weight, and what people thing of me, I never felt confident in myself, I never felt needed.

[aboutmyinnerself]

I am nothing special, a normal girl, a girl searching for her soul, searching for someone that deserves to know what's in her soul.

[aboutmyinnerself]

Hi it's me, my innerself, trying to find a place for me, a place where I belong, is this it?