absolutegenius

[absolutegenius]

You know, I always thought that when you get into a relationship, the arguments wouldn't be that bad. Especially not so bad that I end up crying at the end of it. If I can't make jokes with you because you end up taking it serious, then that's a problem. I'm not perfect, & I get that, but to be accused of basically being selfish, when that's not the case at all, really hurts. I get that we had plans, & I get that I made a promise; but if I fell asleep & didn't wake back up till later, are you really going to hold that against me? & then when I try to tell you or explain the situation, you don't wanna hear it. You only think what you want to think. I can't fall asleep on command, so clearly I must've been a lot more tired than I thought. If you wanted something, you should've waken me up, or had said something when you saw that I was falling asleep! Why wait till after the fact, to bring it to my attention? I'm not a mind reader nor can I pick up on emotions the way you expect me to. I'll only know if there's something wrong if you tell me. But you can't even do that without being hurtful. You accuse me of being selfish & not caring because YOU'RE not getting what you want, when you want it. So because of that you lash out like a child? Then you're gonna tell me it's my actions????? I FELL ASLEEP. Idk how else to put it. That tantrum shit, I'm not here for. If we're adults, then speak to me like one? You can't get mad cuz I did something as simple as falling asleep. & if you think I truly did all of this to avoid giving you what you want, then you clearly have some other issues you need to sort out. Idk what shit you went through when it came to your last relationship, or any other one before that, but what you need to understand is that I'm not them & this relationship isn't the same type of relationship you've been in before. Stop relying on me or expecting me to start up everything. Stop expecting me to take the wheel with things. You're a grown ass man & if there's something you want then ask or say something. It's not always going to be handed to you. You're my boyfriend, not my master or anything of that sort. You're not some prince that's just given everything just because you want it. & I'm your girlfriend, not your servant, not a slave, none of that. & the sooner we fix this petty ass situation, the easier it will be. Because I'm honestly tired of crying every time you decide you want to be so rude & hurtful towards me. Instead of thinking about just yourself, how about you think logically about the situation & think about how I feel or see things for once?

[absolutegenius]

[absolutegenius]

Just an update. Hello, everyone. 🤗

This is just to basically let everyone know I’m not dead or anything lol. I’m still alive & kicking. I know I’ve neglected my tumblr (both blogs) & the only things you guys every really see from me are my Instagram posts. Things have just been really crazy, & emotional, & stressing for me lately. All the more reason for me to come back & write on here, I guess; but still, I just had some stuff going on. But I’m gonna try to post more (not that anyone has really been looking for my posts or anything. I actually highly doubt that anyone even noticed I was gone!) even if it’s just once a day. One thing I can share about my life right now though, if any of my followers that have been with me on here since the beginning of my blog might remember that I’ve been living in Florida since 2011 & that I’ve been dying to move back home to NYC ever since. Well, I’m so pleased to announce that after 5 years of the frustrating on & off depression & the constant feeling of isolation, I am finally moving back to NYC for good! I’m so happy that I haven’t been feeling as depressed as I used to. I sometimes still wake up unmotivated & super unhappy, but it happens randomly now. It’s better than everyday, but I’m hoping this move with either fix how depressed I feel sometimes or at least stop it from happening all the time…or even stop it from happening as much as it does right now. Because, even though it’s not everyday, like it used to be, I still feel as though it happens too often in week (let alone in one month). But yeah, that’s the update I wanted to post up. Hopefully I’ll be more active on here, or at least remember to post more. ✌🏿️😘

[absolutegenius]

Finally finished my drawing of Belle. Not gonna lie, her face was really frustrating me & I had to keep erasing & redrawing over & over again. It wasn't till after like my tenth time (or more) that I just decided to leave her face as it was. But I think it looks pretty alright. Maybe I'll redo it....in the very, very, VERY distant future.

[absolutegenius]

♫A Nerdy World We Live In♫ turned 3 today! (2 days ago, actually, but still, yay!!)

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I feel like a total hypocrite...

& boy, do I feel stupid.

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My Perry & Agent P drawings! It's been a while since I've drawn something, so I drew the cutest character on Phineas & Ferb!

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Bout to be like "look, are you gonna tell me why you're not speaking to me? I think I at least deserve to know why so I can figure out if it's over between us or not. Kinda hard to move on properly if you don't know what's going on." Nah, idc what anyone says, I'm doing this on Thursday. . .cuz I'm not trying to have no complicated ish going on.

[absolutegenius]

So fucking pissed right now. I'm not going back to the depression that worked so damn hard to get away from. But seriously I was better fucking off with my ex. You make me miss my verbally abusive ex. At least with him I didn't have to worry about being ignored for no reason & I didn't have to watch him disappear for weeks during our relationship.

[absolutegenius]

I literally try so hard not to cry, & it tell myself that everything will be okay, & that I don't care. But it's so hard to do so when the best part of me, the part of me that was able to go from being heartless to being filled with happiness & the best love I've ever had is with you. How can I move on when you've got that missing piece is with you?

[absolutegenius]

Forgot to post this a couple days back (it's been a very hectic life for me lately) but this was my first painting. I had gotten paints about a week or two ago, & I decided to draw Pooh for my little sister.

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So fucking done with this dude. You can do all this shit & talk to everyone else but can't even say hello to me? Honestly, fuck you...& fuck your bullshit excuses. Just leave me the fuck alone.

[absolutegenius]

Omgsh, thank you! :D

Okay soooo naturally, like all my other drawings, this one is not my own original thing. There’s this blog (& page on Facebook) I follow called comic-who that draws these little Doctor characters. So all the credit definitely goes to them. But anyhoo, I just wanted to try drawing him cuz Eleven is my favorite Doctor & everyone knows how in love I am in when it comes to Doctor Who. Sooo, here’s “Smithy” ☺️ ❤️

[absolutegenius]

Okay soooo naturally, like all my other drawings, this one is not my own original thing. There’s this blog (& page on Facebook) I follow called comic-who that draws these little Doctor characters. So all the credit definitely goes to them. But anyhoo, I just wanted to try drawing him cuz Eleven is my favorite Doctor & everyone knows how in love I am in when it comes to Doctor Who. Sooo, here’s “Smithy” ☺️ ❤️

[absolutegenius]

Okay so I know I say this all the time but this really was one of the most challenging drawings I’ve done! Like I was getting really frustrated! But I did the best that I could. Like the shading & lighting was sooo hard to do! & the balcony??? Don’t even get me started. Buttttt, it’s okay I guess. But I will say this, drawing two people kissing is so hard lol!! My obsession with drawing these two just might be over now lol

[absolutegenius]

Awww!! This was on the 24th! ^_^

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Princess Jasmine & Aladdin being all cute & in love & whatnot.