acinonyxantidote

[acinonyxantidote]

i’m such a “i want your attention” but “won’t bother you” kinda person

[acinonyxantidote]

@ranposboyfriend

TG: its a rough life out there for bishie desu mfers like us bro

TT: You took the words out of my mouth, man. Took them straight out of my fuckin' mouth.

[acinonyxantidote]

poor memory is a huge deal and i wish people wouldn't diminish it by saying "oh yeah i can't remember what i had for breakfast lol."

i can't remember the first 10 years of my life. i can't remember entire days, weeks, months at a time. i can't remember entire people, i can't remember names or faces. i can't remember when things are scheduled for, my calendar app on my phone is booked to the max with reminders and task checklists. i can't remember when i moved into what home when, i can't remember important milestone dates like when i got or lost certain jobs, or when i started a new hobby.

that's what i mean when i say i have poor memory. poor memory is so scary for the person who has it. it's not a quirky thing, everyone forgets small details. memory problems are scary because you can go through entire events or days with no memory, or plan for things in the future that you can't recall ever even looking into or scheduling. it's not a funny haha kind of thing, it's serious, and it affects a lot of people in very unavoidable ways.

not being able to plan for appointments or work schedules, not being able to remember people's names or faces, not being able to recall whether or not you were present for something or whether or not you met someone, not being able to keep track of what's happening on what dates and losing track of items because you can't remember where you put them are all very real problems, and anyone dealing with them deserves to be taken seriously, and not diminished when they choose to speak up about it.

[acinonyxantidote]

like okay if we're talking about this anatomically the ear holes on a human skull and a cat are actually in the same spot it's a difference in the shape of the cranium. you can see what's happening if you look at hairless cats

ears is big. so you can put the cat ears wherever you want if you start them at the same point as where the human ears would go.

just like. pull the sideburns back a little and it's fine. it's fine.

it's the best way to catify your blorbos with visible human ears. but that's just my........ purrsonal opinion..............

[acinonyxantidote]

systems with niche and/or "cringe" introjects raise your hands

[acinonyxantidote]

something kind of weird about bodily growing older than the protectors in your system

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being a fictive-heavy system is like witnessing the craziest crossover episode ever

like what do you mean wednesday addams is babysitting charlie slimecicles not-daughter daughter what is this

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this disorder is crazy like wdym i share a room with gamzee homestuck

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seeing fanart of john sad is so much more heart wrenching to me than seeing one of the striders sad. cuz like. you always see the striders sad. its like their thing. seeing a strider sad is just kinda par for the course. but seeing john egbert openly sad? seeing him express his emotions as something other than ":B"? now thats when you know something went WRONG. john egbert is the master of repressed emotions. if something stressful enough happened to cause HIM to acknowledge and process how he feels, the world might just be ending. again.

[acinonyxantidote]

Ruth Madievsky, All-Night Pharmacy // Suzanne Scanlon, Promising Young Women // Robin Roe, A List of Cages // Hayao Miyazaki, Kiki's Delivery Service // Susan Sontag, As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks, 1964-1980 // D. H. Lawrence, The Plumbed Serpent // Jennifer S. Cheng, "So We Must Meet Apart" // Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart // Alice Oseman, Radio Silence // Franz Kafka, Letters to Felice

[acinonyxantidote]

[acinonyxantidote]

@ranposboyfriend

Dave Strider, Roxy Lalonde

Meat, page 32

DAVE: ok so

DAVE: what ive learned is

DAVE: coming to terms with all this bullshit is a thing you sort of do in stages

DAVE: like stage one is you making jokes about how sweaty dudes standing close together in tv shows seems really gay

DAVE: stage two is making jokes about that and not immediately adding no homo afterward

DAVE: stage three is flirting with all your male friends ironically and not even thinking about adding no homo afterward because youre so fuckin woke and secure in your ironclad straight masculinity that you dont have anything to prove to anybody anymore

DAVE: or thats just what you say out loud

DAVE: inside you start being like

DAVE: oh shit

DAVE: maybe yes homo

DAVE: stage four is freaking out about that and putting the no homo back on all your statements even objectively heterosexual ones which just stupidly makes everything you say sound extra gay

DAVE: stage five is

DAVE: actually wait the next few stages are various permutations of the same thing that i already described

DAVE: it starts being like a gay fractal

DAVE: anyway eventually you arrive at like stage nine

DAVE: which is reminding everyone who will listen that youre gay minimum six times a day

DAVE: in really lame ways like

DAVE: oh cool dude are you making hot pockets

DAVE: better make mine a gay hot pocket

DAVE: cause im a gay homosexual who only consumes homo ass snacks delivered right to my mouth by a big queer butler

DAVE: servin it right up on his huge gay dick

DAVE: but that all only applies to the extent which i am technically gay

DAVE: which in my case is only about maybe 30% to 70%

DAVE: so only cook 30% to 70% of my gay hot pocket

DAVE: cause you know straights are fucking animals who never defrost their pepperoni

DAVE: and i gotta rep for that like 50% straightness still lurking inside me like the idiot who fell asleep in the shopping mall when it was closing for the night

DAVE: so now theres just this straight dude locked in a dark fucking mall for some stupid reason haunting the place like a cryptid and rummaging through the trash in the food court

DAVE: also just in case janes opposition research is listening in on their illegal wiretap i know the word bisexual exists btw im just choosing not to use it in service of spitting some fuckin chuckle jokes here so lets all calm down and not let this one become a distressingly literal federal issue

DAVE: anyway when all is said and done

DAVE: you eat a half cooked hot pocket because all your roommates think the height of humor is taking what was obviously an improvisational riff at unironic face value to punk you

ROXY: dave...

DAVE: what

ROXY: nm

ROXY: i was gonna ask you why ur like this

ROXY: then i remembered about how ur half me and half dirk

DAVE: yeah it really is crazy how those dope late game familial reveals actually did explain everything

ROXY: so whats stage ten

DAVE: stage ten is uhhhhhhhh

[acinonyxantidote]

Minor inconvenience happens

Split

Minor inconvenience happens

Split

Minor inconvenience happens

Split

Minor inconv-

[acinonyxantidote]

"I want to kill myself" --> ❌ overly negative, conditions you into harmful thought patterns, makes everyone else uncomfortable "I feel like Knuckles" --> ✔ positive spin, knuckles is powerful and has many friends, still expresses you want to die

[acinonyxantidote]

“why are you tired? you haven’t done anything all day” the simple fact that i exist drains me. hope this helps

[acinonyxantidote]

“what have you been up to lately?” i don’t leave the house