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[ackrmvvn-levi]

Memories || R.B.

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: Cussing, no happy ending, it’s basically Reiner just having one long breakdown

Reiner was laying awake in his bed, eyes trained on the ceiling above him. His forward was moist, drips of sweat traveling across his skin. His head moved to the side, eyes instead staring at the empty space beside him.

He was sure he’d moved on, he told his comrades that he was fine. After four years, he thought he moved on.

But there you were, in his dreams again. The same face, the same smile. That damn voice, he was sure he’d never get the sound out of his mind. You were gonna haunt him forever.

Reiner had built up a mountain of regrets, but this one, you, he was sure would crush him entirely.

He stood silently, shuffling into the kitchen. A cup of tea seemed like just the thing right now. He quickly poured a cup before sitting down, allowing the beverage time to cool. As it did, his thoughts slowly drifted to your first meeting.

——————

Reiner’s eyes fell on your form as you exited the mess hall, your body moving to lean on the railing in front of you. It was late evening, dusk settling over the training grounds. You hadn’t spoken to each other yet, neither of you introduced yourselves to the commandant earlier that day.

“So how you feeling about the cadet corps so far?”

Your voice snapped him out of his daze, and he felt himself startle slightly. Your lips lifted into an awkward, shy grin. “Huh?” He asked, looking back at you.

“Cadet corps? What do you think so far?” You asked with an awkward chuckle, watching his eyes trail out to the scenery.

“Uh, it’s only the first day, but so far I don’t have any complaints,” Reiner mumbled. You nodded knowingly, a small smile spreading across your features. “What about you?”

You scoffed in response, shaking your head lightly. “As fun as the fields sound, I’ve been waiting for this for a long time,” you admitted, chuckling softly. Reiner’s face softened slightly when you looked back at him, your face flushed in embarrassment.

“Sorry, I don’t think I caught your name,” you asked, meeting his golden orbs, tilting your head curiously.

“Reiner Braun.”

“Y/N Y/L/N.”

You smiled, holding out your hand. He took it gently in his own larger, callused hands, and shook it firmly. “It’s nice to meet you, Reiner.”

——————

When Reiner finally snapped himself out of his own head, his tea had grown cold. His cheeks burned from the sudden recollection of the moment, but it seemed to ease him some to remember the relaxed expression upon your face. You were beautiful from the moment he’d set his eyes on you.

His eyes still stared at his cup, not wanting to look at the clock. He knew it was late, the middle of the night, but insomnia had been a big problem of his since he’d returned to Marley.

He didn’t know what was worse—being unable to sleep or the fact that he couldn’t shake off his memories from Paradis.

He heard another loud sigh escape from his lungs, before he let his hand drop, leaning his head on top of his arms.

“This is so stupid.” Reiner whispered. “Why can’t I ever just forget?”

His finally met the clock. 2:25 am. Reiner still didn’t feel the least bit tired, but he knew if he didn’t try again he’d be up all night.

“Fuck, Y/N. How can you still have this much of an effect on me?” He mumbled as he stood, slowly making his way back to the empty bed.

By some miracle, after what felt like hours of tossing and turning, his eyes closed and sleep overtook his body.

——————

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Your voice made him jump, and he looked at you through the darkness, a smile stretching across your face.

The battle of trost had taken a lot out of all the cadets, both physically and mentally. Most had fallen asleep as soon as they could, but Reiner couldn’t get Marco’s face out of his head.

“Probably, but you should be too,” he shot back, a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips. You nodded in response, moving to sit next to the blonde. A comfortable silence took over the two, eyes trained up at the night sky above.

“I couldn’t sleep,” you quietly admitted, now fiddling with your fingers as you stared at your lap. “I’ve wanted to be a scout for what feels like my entire life, and I never thought I’d second guess that choice. But after today…after watching so many of our friends die, I guess I just wasn’t as prepared as I thought I was.”

Reiner turned to stare at you. His heart ached at the sadness in your eyes, the regret written on every inch of your face. He’d never seen this side of you, he’d never seen you look so vulnerable. He hated it.

“No one is prepared for this. But you can’t look at it like that. The only thing you can do is your best. You keep pushing forward, no matter what. It’s normal to feel sad for the people we lost, but they gave their lives for a noble cause. You can’t use that as an excuse to call it quits. You’re stronger than that, Y/N. We all know it.”

You looked at him, and Reiner was surprised at how sincere your gaze was. “Thank you, Reiner,” you said softly, moving to set your head against his shoulder. “I’m glad you made it out.”

Your words were quiet, but they sent a jolt of nerves through his body. The warmth radiating from your body, your hair softly brushing against his jaw. It took his mind a minute to snap back into reality.

“Yeah…me too.”

——————

It took a few minutes for Reiner to notice the tears collecting in his eyes when he woke up again.

This time, it was light outside, the sun illuminating his room through the curtains he’d forgotten to close last night.

His wiped away the wetness from his orbs before pushing himself into a sitting position. His body protested, his muscles stiff from the countless days without proper rest.

He forced the memory of his most recent dream, as well as the wave of emotions it brought with it, into the back of his head. He didn’t have time to dwell on your previous relationship at the moment. Instead, he focused on getting ready for the day ahead.

——————

Reiner sat outside the training barracks, eyes watching the warrior candidates during their training. They weren’t doing much more than basic drills today, this visit home was meant to be a bit of a resting period after all.

He jumped when Zeke’s hand landed on his shoulder, the older man moving to stand next to him.

“Afternoon, Reiner. How are the candidates doing?” Zeke asked, a friendly smile taking over his face. “Kinda reminds you of us back then, huh?”

Reiner spared him a glance, barely giving the man a nod in response. “They seem alright today.” Zeke hummed in reply, his eyes drifting towards the recruits.

“And what about you? Still having trouble sleeping?”

Reiner stiffened at that. He’d mentioned in passing his restless nights, but he hoped Zeke just assumed it was a product of the war. He couldn’t risk anyone finding out he was still hung up on you. Someone he was supposed to hate.

“Yeah, it hasn’t gotten much better.” He managed to stammer out, keeping his gaze fixed on the kids, rather than meeting Zeke’s eyes.

The old fighter gave him a sympathetic smile before dropping the subject, seemingly satisfied by Reiner’s answer. He was thankful Zeke hadn’t pressed further into it.

“Looks like they’re finishing up, I’ll see you later, Reiner,” Zeke stated, quickly disappearing once again. Reiner waved a goodbye to his friend before returning his attention back towards the soldiers.

He stayed for another few minutes before turning and walking off, deciding he’d been out the house enough today.

He had to hide his groan when Gabi grabbed his wrist, effectively stopping him from going anywhere.

“Reiner! I saw you watching! I’m pretty good, aren’t I?” She spoke excitedly, making Reiner wish he had her energy. He forced a smile onto his lips as he looked down at his cousin.

“Yeah, Gabi. You’re doing great.” Her features brightened up even more, opening her mouth and rambling on some more about how impressive she was.

Reiner tried to hold of his impatience and listen to the girl, but his body felt like it weighed a ton. He wanted nothing more than to lay down, but he knew his cousin well. The girl could talk for hours without getting tired.

“Gabi, I’m gonna go lay down for a bit-“ She cut him off.

“But it’s the middle of the afternoon, you’ll have time to sleep later.” She insisted, looking at him with pleading eyes. Reiner shook his head.

“I’m feeling pretty out of it-“ He, once again, didn’t get to finish his sentence.

“Come on, Reiner! Let’s walk around for a while. We never get to-“

“Gabi!” He yelled before he could stop himself. “I just want to lay down, please!”

He watched as she fell silent, her face falling slightly. The guilt washed over him like a wave, he hated that look on her face, knowing he was the one who caused it.

“Sorry, Gabi. I didn’t mean to yell,” he mumbled, not meeting her eyes.

“Sure, Reiner. I’m gonna go find Falco.” She turned and walked off without another word, leaving Reiner to sigh to himself.

He ran his hands over his face, trying to clear his thoughts. Maybe going to lie down would help, maybe it wouldn't, but either way he had to try.

——————

“Reiner? What’s going on?” Your voice reached his ear, making every muscle in his body stiffen. He hadn’t even heard you walk up behind him, this wasn’t a conversation he wanted you to hear.

He glanced over his shoulder at you, trying to hide his nervous expression.

“Nothing, Y/N.” His tone came across colder than he intended it to, but maybe that was for the best.

“You’re just tired, that’s it, right? Your nerves and shot, you don’t know what you’re saying,” Eren spoke up, placing a hand on Reiner’s shoulders.

Reiner could still feel your eyes burning holes into his back, a sick feeling swirling in his stomach. This isn’t how he wanted you to find out. He didn’t want you to find out period, but he knew he wasn’t lucky enough for that.

“Yeah, it’s the battle fatigue talking,” Bertholdt spoke up quickly, trying his best to hide the nerves in his voice.

Eren pulled his hand away from Reiner, glancing between the two friends. “It’s okay. You’re okay. If you really were the armored titan, what’s the end game here? We wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place. What’d you expect me to do? Say yes, let myself be kidnapped just because you asked politely?”

Reiner almost forgot you were standing behind him, listening to the whole conversation. His eyes bored into Eren’s, his mind racing for a way out of this.

“Right. I’m not thinking straight, am I? I barely know what I’m saying here. Must’ve gone off the deep end.”

Eren turned away from the blonde. “Come on, let’s go.”

Everything felt silent, the wind picking up, setting an eere mood on top of the wall. Reiner didn’t respond when he felt your hand on his arm, your voice trying to get his attention.

When he turned to face you, his gaze met yours, the intense look in his eyes making you take a step away from the man.

“Please, tell me what’s going on,” you spoke in soft tone, desperately trying to keep yourself together. He didn’t answer, averting his gaze once more.

The sound of the nearby flag snapping off its post and falling down the walls made you jump, stepping even further away from Reiner.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’ve been here too long for my own good. 3 years of this madness, surrounded by idiots. We were kids. What did we know about anything? Why did there have to be people like this? Why? Why did I let myself desolve? How did I let myself fall in love with one of them?”

He saw Eren pull you back behind him and Mikasa out of the corner of his eye, but it took a moment before Reiner realised you were staring at him intently, tears in your eyes.

He should've known better. No matter how much he'd been trying, no matter how hard he tried to avoid it, he knew it would come to this. He could only hide his true intentions for so long.

He quickly shook off his guilt, his regret, turning away from you.

“It’s too late now. Damned if I know what’s right anymore.” His hands gripped the makeshift sling he wore, ripping it from his shoulders and beginning to unwrap the bandages.

“Who cares? It is what it is. No choice but to face what I’ve done.” He held his arm up, letting everyone see the smoke rising from his arm as his wound healed. “As a warrior, no road left but the road that leads to the end!”

“Reiner, how could you?!” You yelled, trying to push past Mikasa, her hands keeps you in place. Reiner stared you down, silently begging you to leave. He couldn’t look at you now. Not anymore. “This isn’t you! Please, tell me you’re lying!”

“I can’t! Don’t you see?! This is who I am! I have to finish what I came here to do!” He ignored your cries for him to stop, ignoring how shitty he felt in that moment. He choked down his negative feelings, forcing himself to speak the sentence he would always regret.

“It’s time for me to stop wasting my time with a devil like you.”

He swore he could see your heart shatter through your eyes, the pain visible on your features. He couldn’t afford to let it get in the way. No matter how much he wished he could stay there with you, with everyone, he had a mission to complete.

——————

Reiner shot up from the mattress, his chest tight as he fought for breath. He hardly registered the tears pooling down his cheeks, his entire being drowning in the darkness of his mind.

How could he do that to you? The only women he’d ever truly loved, and he practically ripped your heart out and stomped on it. He could never be happy like he thought he might have been. He’d rather die fighting than live without you by his side.

He’d never forgive himself, not fully. He was a monster, a liar, someone with no redeemable traits. He was everything Marley had claimed the Eldian people were. A murderer, a coward, a traitor. He never deserved you to begin with.

[ackrmvvn-levi]

Take me home || E.S.

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: I don’t think there are any??

Look, let’s just all pretend he’s still alive, because god damn it I miss him 😭😭

It’d been 4 years since Erwin had seen you last. He’d barely managed to survive the battle of Shinganshina, but it felt like a part of him had died when you never returned. They never even found your body among the wreckage, they’d searched for days, coming up empty handed each time.

There was nothing left for him to do but assume the worst had happened.

He’d dealt with loss before, being in the scouts, that much was a given. But grief had never taken such a hold on him, leaving him feeling hollow and broken down, unable to think about anything other than you. Every day was hard, every minute felt like an endless abyss waiting to swallow him whole. His dreams were nightmares more often than not, waking from them in fits of shivering cold sweat. It was only by sheer luck he didn’t lose his mind entirely.

He couldn’t have known that across the large body of water, you were alive.

They’d held you captive, only allowing you a semblance of freedom when you agreed to listen to their side of the violence.

But you’d done what you could to make your situation less dire, the Marleyans were surprised when you didn’t try to flee after that.

You learned the secrets of the titans, you’d learned why the Marleyans thought of your people as devils. You’d done everything you could to convince them you believed in their cause, just to stay alive.

You hoped to be able to return home, begging to whatever higher power there was that Erwin was still alive, waiting for you to return to him.

——————

Your eyes grazed over the various fruits the merchant was selling, picking out different ones before moving to start your way to your so-called home.

The familiar voice almost slipped your attention at first, but as the yelling became more prominent, you froze.

You slowly looked towards where the voice had come from, eyes wide in disbelief at the scene in front of you.

Sasha, Connie, and Jean were each holding an ice cream cone, yelling praises for the sweet treat at each other.

You would’ve laughed at how ridiculous the whole situation seemed had your heart not began pounding within your chest. Your breath had caught somewhere in your throat, and you stared dumbfounded at your three old friends who hadn’t noticed you.

You began urgently looking throughout the crowd, desperately looking for anymore familiar faces. Anybody you could call a friend. Anyone who knew you.

You noticed Levi and Hange next, their gazes locked on the three overgrown children, still yelling at each other. Hange had a smile on her lips, chatting to a bored-looking Levi quietly.

You wanted nothing more than to run over to them, to you comrades, but they weren’t supposed to be here. Drawing unnecessary attention to the outsiders would only cause all of you trouble.

You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the pair, only when a third figure stepped up next to Hange did your focus change.

Your heart felt like it nearly stopped, a pair of blue eyes already locked on your figure when you looked at the man.

Erwin stood with his hands casually tucked into his pockets as his eyes bored into your own. The two of you didn’t move for what fell like forever, staring at one another in silence.

You wondered if he realized it was you he was looking at.

You snapped out of your daze when he took a step in your direction, quickly freezing when you shook your head frantically. He paused, eyebrows furrowing slightly as confusion swirled around in his eyes.

You quickly looked around, noticing no guards, no warriors, no one who would be able to recognize the group of scouts, but you couldn’t be too careful.

Your eyes met the familiar pair again, slightly jerking your head to the alley you knew was a few feet behind you, praying he got the message to follow you into the corridor.

The second you saw Erwin nod to you, you turned and began quickly making your way there, brushing through groups of people unapologetically. You could practically feel your hair standing on end, goosebumps rising across your flesh as you hurried along the dark corridor, only turning around at the sound of footsteps behind you.

You opened your mouth to speak, but the words died in your throat. He was still as handsome as you remembered, the same blue eyes still shone with intelligence and kindness. He was out of his scout uniform, a suit hugging his body, a welcome change from his usual wardrobe.

His steps were slow, as though wary of startling you. When he stopped in front of you, his hand reached up, landing on your cheek gently. You nearly sobbed on the spot, not realizing how much you still craved his touch until that moment.

“Tell me you being here doesn’t mean what I think it does.” His voice was quiet, pleading. You could tell he wasn’t sure what to think or feel, and you understood that this would be difficult for him to accept.

“No, no, of course not. They took me, Erwin. I did what I had to do to survive,” You assured, taking a step closer towards him, wrapping your arms around him tightly.

He leaned into your embrace, squeezing his eyes closed as he breathed deeply and steadily against your shoulder. “God, I thought I lost you for good,” he spoke, holding you against him like you’d disappear if he loosened his grip any.

“Never,” you replied fiercely, pulling back to look him straight in the eye. You smiled sadly when you saw tears gathering on his face. You cupped his cheeks delicately, wiping them away. He pressed his lips against yours softly, letting out a deep sigh as you kissed him back.

He was the first to pull away, your hands still gripping his face as his landed on your hips. His eyes bored into yours, blue irises filled with adoration.

“You’re still so beautiful,” he whispered, warm breath fanning over your red-tinted cheeks. “I’ve missed you so much, darling. Everyday of the last 4 years.”

You felt tears stinging in your eyes, but they were happy tears this time, relief washing through you to see him finally in front of you. The weight of four years was beginning to fade away. You could breathe normally now, knowing he’d made it out alive.

“You can come back with us, right? We’ll sneak you onto the ship,” he suggested, pressing his forehead against yours. “I don’t know if I can go back to living without you knowing that you’re alive.”

Your smile grew at his words, pulling his lips back down into a kiss, pouring all your love for the tall blonde into it. He wrapped his free arm around your waist, cradling you close as you melted into the warmth radiating off his body.

“Yes, please. Get me out of here,” you spoke after pulling away, leaning your foreheads back together lightly. “Take me home.”

“You have to do something for me though,” he replied, a small chuckle leaving his lips at the confusion that flashed across your features.

“Of course, what is it?”

“Marry me. The second we get home.”

A small gasp left your lips, your heart swelling with joy and happiness at those words.

“You want to marry me?” You asked incredulously, unable to help the broad grin spreading across your features as you threw yourself into his arms once again, giggling into his shoulder.

He wrapped his arms around you tightly, peppering gentle kisses across your forehead.

“I’ve been waiting 4 years to ask you that. Of course I want to,” he answered happily, tightening his grip on you, burying his face into your hair and breathing deeply.

You nodded your head quickly, feeling completely overwhelmed by the emotions running rampant in your chest.

“Yes, Erwin. Please, take me home and make me your wife,” you spoke, feeling tears threatening to fall from your eyes. He chuckled lowly, bringing a finger under your chin to tilt your head up towards him as he connected our lips for yet another kiss.

He was kissing you with everything that he held inside, everything that you had missed over the past years. He wanted to show you how much he loved you, how much he was always going to love you.

You felt safe, secure, loved, and cherished. And in that moment, the world could crumble around you and you wouldn’t care, not while Erwin had you wrapped in his arms and was the reason for every emotion coursing through your veins.

[ackrmvvn-levi]

My Angel || J.K.

Word count: 1.4K

Warnings: Smut, swearing, AFAB!reader

The fire was warm against your back, effectively keeping you protected from the cold air as if Jean's arms were doing a sufficent enough job of that.

But then again, he wasn’t really trying to keep you warm at the moment. His hands were moving across your body, sliding under your shirt and down your stomach while his lips trailed kisses along your neck.

You two had snuck away for the night, setting up a little camp in the woods just to spend some alone time together. It was always hard to find any semblance of a normal life with your career choices, nights like this were cherished.

He was taking his time with you, reveling in the feeling of your body straddling his lap, your hands curling into his hair as he nipped at your exposed skin. You moaned quietly when his teeth grazed over a particularly sensitive spot near your shoulder, a smirk pulling at Jean’s lips as he moved to capture yours in a kiss.

“God, you’re gorgeous,” he mumbled, his hand cupping your cheek before he pressed a quick peck on your nose. You smiled lazily at him, eyes half lidded with desire. “And I love you,” he murmured, pressing another kiss to your forehead as he reached for one of your hands and intertwined it with his own.

“Let me see more of you, hmm?” he asked, tugging you impossibly closer, hands moving to the hem of your shirt. You obliged quickly, allowing him to rid you of the fabric with ease, his fingers gliding along your naked skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

He chuckled softly in satisfaction when you shivered slightly, the sensation of Jean’s hands ghosting across your bare flesh sending tingles through every nerve ending. His mouth found its way back to your mouth after another minute, kissing you thoroughly. It was an incredibly slow exploration, one that made you long to be devoured by him.

He broke the kiss momentarily, moving to gently lay you in the ground. Jean’s eyes moved over your body slowly, admiring you as if he never wanted to stop seeing you.

“What are we gonna do with the rest of these clothes?” He teased, running his hands over your thighs and hips before stopping at the waistline of your pants. You lifted your hips as he tugged them down, exposing your legs for Jean to admire even further.

He smiled appreciatively and leaned forward, kissing down the inside of your thigh. His touch made the most delicious shivers run up and down your body, his kisses sending a thrill throughout your entire being. The heat between your thighs burned, begging for release from its confines.

You squirmed impatiently as Jean worked his magic, sucking at your inner thighs as he did.

A small gasp left your lips as he kissed your center through your thin underwear, Jean letting out a breathy chuckle.

“Jean, please…” you groaned, arching up into his grasp, desperate for more, needing it more than ever. “Please what, sweetheart?” He feigned innocence, a teasing glint in his eyes as he looked up at you. You could hear the smile in his voice, feel the warmth in his gaze.

“I need you, please.” Your words came out more needy than you would have liked, but you couldn’t help yourself, not when Jean’s head resided between your thighs. “I want—,” your words cut off as he finally pulled your panties off, tongue licking a strip up your folds.

You let out a choked moan, writhing underneath him as he suckled gently at the entrance to your body. It only took seconds before your hips bucked upwards towards him, your hands tangling in his hair tightly as Jean continued sucking, his tongue moving expertly against you. It sent waves of pleasure cascading through your whole body, each lick making your insides melt and quiver. His hands were wrapped tightly around your thighs, ensuring they stayed open for him.

His teeth grazed your clit, making you arch once more, gasping loudly as a jolt of electricity ran through you. Jean continued flicking his tongue over your clit, reveling in your whiny moans while you squirmed under his ministrations. A satisfied grin stretched across his face, and he looked up at you as his tongue swirled around your clit before he began working a finger into your entrance.

"Feels good, Jean," you breath out, eyes clamped shut while you felt your orgasm building. Jean grinned cockily at you as he continued to stroke your clit, knowing he was torturing you with each pull at your core. "Oh god, don't stop —." Your words cut off with a high pitched whine as the coil in your stomach finally snapped, releasing your climax into Jean's warm mouth and hands. He swallowed it all greedily before pulling away with a smug smirk on his face. "Fuck..."

Your breathing was still ragged, and your cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment as you tried to compose yourself. When your eyes opened again, Jean was quickly removing his clothes, tossing them haphazardly aside and crawling towards you to hover over you. Your hands immediately found their place around his neck, holding onto him as you breathed heavily.

"You ready for more, princess?" Jean purred in your ear, fingers stroking your breasts softly as he kissed the shell of your ear. You nodded excitedly, and Jean smirked in satisfaction.

"Good girl," he mumbled, lining himself up with your entrance. He pushed into you easily, a deep groan leaving the back of his throat as he bottomed out, filling you completely. You gasped loudly, a sound of utter pleasure escaping your lips as you adjusted to his pace.

His weight settled onto top of you as he began moving in and out of you, his movements slow and steady, both of you enjoying the feeling of being so close.

You gripped Jean's biceps, pulling him close as your eyes slipped closed and lips parted as you enjoyed each new sensation. He stayed at the same pace, lips moving down to place light pecks against your neck and shoulders in between thrusts. He sucked lightly at your collarbone before continuing.

"So beautiful," he whispered, fingers gripping the grass. "Just so beautiful, Y/N."

You felt yourself begin to shake at his words, overwhelmed by the sheer blissful emotion you could sense coming off of him. It wasn’t often you got to see this side of Jean, and it definitely made your heart sing whenever he gave himself over to you fully.

Even now, when you were both in ecstasy, you were able to notice the gentle blush coloring Jean’s cheeks, his jaw clenched tight to keep himself from moaning out loud.

You jutted your hands out to his cheeks, pulling his face over to yours. “I love you so much,” you murmured, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss, wanting nothing more than to pour every ounce of passion you had within you into those loving moments.

This kiss ended faster than you would’ve liked as your jaw dropped open, moans falling past your lips in a desperate plea for more. Your noises got louder as he dipped a hand between your bodies, fingers toying with your clit.

“Jean, I’m gonna come,” you breathed, your arms wrapping tightly around his torso. His thumb brushed over the bundle of nerves buried beneath your clit in rhythmic circles, bringing tears to your eyes as you cried out.

Your orgasm shot through you once more, this time more forceful and strong as you dug your nails into the flesh of his lower back. He watched you with such adoration in his eyes that it was almost painful to watch.

You could barely feel his thrusts become sloppier as he chased his own high, panting against your skin as you felt his seed fill you up. As his orgasm ebbed from him, he collapsed against you, chest rising and falling rapidly as he caught his breath. His arms tightened around you for just a second before they loosened again, and then he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours.

His lips curled up into a wide grin as he peppered soft kisses along your jaw line, making your eyes flutter close. “My angel,” he murmured, a soft giggle leaving his lips as you pressed small kisses to the crook of his neck.

He shifted his weight to rest his upper body over yours, nuzzling your neck as he held you. He brought his hand up, smoothing it along your face gently before pressing a delicate kiss to your temple. You hummed contently, snuggling closer to him, feeling content.

It didn’t take long until you drifted off to sleep, body held tightly against Jean’s. He grabbed the extra blanket you’d made sure to pack and tugged it over your bodies, watching you with a fond look in his eyes as he fell asleep next to you.

[ackrmvvn-levi]

I couldn’t hold back || J.K.

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: Mentions of death, bad language

“The name of that good friend of yours, that one you told me about. Oh right, it’s Marco.”

Your eyes bored into the bowl of stew held in your hands, doing your best to remain calm through this conversation.

“You said Annie was involved in his death, didn’t you?”

You didn’t need to look over at Jean to know he was scowling. Marco’s death had taken a toll on both of you, finding out Annie was involved was even harder.

“Have you asked about it yet? The truth behind his death.”

Your head flashed up, eyes snapping between Yelena and Annie quickly. You hadn’t, truthfully, You didn’t think Jean had either. Up until now, you weren’t sure you really wanted to know. The point of it was Marco was dead, you didn’t need to know the details.

“I took off Marco’s ODM gear.” Annie spoke before anyone could inquire more information. “That’s why a titan ate-“ Reiner cut her off.

“Annie was only following my orders.”

The anger in your chest burned, bubbling under the surface. You could’ve assumed he’d have something to do with it as well, but hearing the words come out of his mouth was a different experience entirely.

“Marco overheard a secret conversation I had with Bertholdt. In fear of our cover being blown, I thought the best way to silence him was to have a titan kill him. I slammed Marco into a roof while in the air. And while I held him down, I had Annie take off his ODM gear. Marco was stuck there until a titan ate him.”

It was deathly quiet as Reiner finished, no one quite able to believe what they were hearing. You felt sick, you were furious. You couldn’t bring yourself to look back at either of them, knowing what they’d done to Marco.

“Did Marco say anything at the very end?” Jean spoke up, eyes trained at the fire in front of him. His tone was hard, cold, his body language seemed stiff, almost like a wall.

“He asked why I wasn’t willing to talk to him.” You looked towards him then, meeting Reiner’s eyes for the first time in years. There was nothing but pure regret in them, and it made something twist deep within your stomach.

“I think that question still applies. We hardly tried to talk, we all just kept fighting, assuming it had to be to the death,” You said finally. Your gaze fell back onto your stew as if suddenly uninterested, unable to maintain eye contact.

“I stood and watched the titan as it devoured Marco and then a switch flipped and I couldn’t figure out why it was happening. I just snapped. I flew into a rage, hellbent on avenging Marco. I cut down the titan myself.”

Your grip on the bowl tightened, your body stiffening at Reiner’s words. Anger fired up again in your blood, fueling a burning sensation behind your eyes that made you want to scream.

“We get it, Reiner. You feel guilty and it screwed with your head,” you snapped, your fingers digging further into the bowl, your glare focused only on the blonde man across from you.

“Don’t forgive me. I’m truly worthless.”

It was silent for another few seconds, Reiner’s eyes refusing to meet yours, but the tension was thick. You were on the verge of exploding when he spoke again.

“I’m sorry.”

You were moving in an instant, your half empty bowl of stew thrown to the side, your body moving towards Reiner before you could even register it.

“Y/N!” Hange’s yell fell on deaf ears as you lunged forward, tackling Reiner to his back. You barely registered your fists connecting to his face, your mind buzzing, eyes seeing red.

He made no move to fight back, your hits only stopping when Mikasa grabbed your wrist. “Stop!” You looked over your shoulder, sending a harsh glare up at the girl before yanking your arm out of her grasp.

“Listen to me, Reiner,” you spoke, turning back on the man under you in a flash, your hand roughly grabbing his shirt to force him to look at you.

“You lied to me, for years. You made me fall in love with you and then broke my heart in the worst way possible. You killed how many innocent people? How many scouts? People I knew, people I cared about. And now I can add Marco to that list. My best friend! Now, you’re gonna sit there and try to apologize? After everything you put me through?! I’ll act civil until we stop Eren. But after that, if I ever see your face again, I’ll fucking kill you,” you growled, glaring into Reiner’s eyes, a level of anger you’d never felt before flowing through your veins.

His eyes widened slightly, as he processed what you had just said. The rage inside of you was something you didn’t know how to handle. The need to hurt Reiner overwhelmed everything else, even logic. It was like an instinct. One you could hardly deny.

But you released him, standing and stalking off from the group, ignoring the calls of your name as you did. You needed time alone to process all this. To calm down. Time away from Reiner and the constant reminder of all those you had lost because of his actions.

You hadn’t noticed the footsteps following closely behind you, not until you heard the familiar voice cut into the silence.

“You got him pretty good.” Jean’s tone held a bit of amusement, but there was concern hidden beneath his words. You knew Jean well, if you hadn’t blown up on Reiner, it was likely he would’ve. He cared about Marco just as much as you did, you knew he was angry too. He had just gotten better at masking it.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like that.” You turned to meet his gaze, his eyes soft, his expression kind. He was worried about you.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been that angry,” you replied, shrugging lightly. “I know I probably shouldn’t have done that, but I couldn’t stop myself. I’ve wanted to see him again for so long, just to yell at him. But hearing him talk about Marco, I couldn’t hold back.”

Jean nodded thoughtfully, running a hand though his hair. His gaze wandered towards the ground as he thought. Then he looked back at you. “I thought it was hot, honestly, but that’s just me.”

You met his eyes again, a second passing before a small laugh left your lips. You grinned at each other for a moment before breaking out into laughter together.

The laughter soon died down, Jean’s arms moving to pull you into his chest. You sighed into his body, melting into him as you dug my face into his shoulder. Your heart calmed itself, settling against the comforting warmth of Jean.

“Are you alright?” Jean asked softly. You could feel his breath ghost across your head as he spoke. “Yeah, I think I am. Just exhausted, honestly.”

As Jean pulled back to check on me, you smiled weakly, his fingers reaching up to push back some stray hairs around your face. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against yours. Your hands moved automatically to rest on his waist and you felt his hands cup your cheeks gently as he closed the distance between you.

Our kiss was light, yet filled with emotion. You could sense the sincerity of it, in the way Jean held you tightly and pressed himself closer. Our lips were moving rhythmically, your breaths mingling together. His thumbs stroked circles over your cheeks, soothing your nerves. You relaxed further into his touch, sinking deeper into his embrace and basking in the moment.

When you finally pulled apart, your bodies remained close, both unwilling to let go. Your cheek rested gently on his shoulder, holding him tight. He ran a hand lightly up and down your back, his touch reassuring.

“Thank you. For being here, with me.” Your voice was slightly muffled, still pressed against his body.

“Of course. Always.” His arms wrapped tighter around you. I could hear his heartbeat slowly starting to steady, his breathing calming once more.

[ackrmvvn-levi]

Please don’t leave || R.B.

Warnings: I don't think there are any?

Word Count: 1.7k

He knew this would never last, not nearly as long as he desperately hoped it would. He'd known you for three years, he knew at some point, some point soon, you'd find out what he'd been hiding from you since the day you met as cadets. He was smart enough to know you'd hate him, there was no way you wouldn't. He wished he could keep you, take you home when it came time to, but he knew better. It was painstakingly obvious to him he was just going to get both of you hurt in the end, he was in too deep and there was no hope of ending things before the time came. But he couldn't help himself.

He's doomed both your hearts as he leans down to catch your lips in another sweet kiss. He's drowning in guilt as he wraps his large arms around your frame, pulling you into his chest. His heart is breaking all over again and he hates how much he loves you, even though he shouldn't. He hates that there's so little he can do about it. He hates that he's just going to end up breaking you.

But he can't bring himself to pretend he doesn't love you. He can't force himself to stay away from you, not when you care for him this much. He knows that eventually you'll come to resent him, but for now, he'll allow himself these precious moments. If only to give you a small taste of true happiness, however brief it may be.

It will only make everything worse, he tells himself silently, as he holds you tighter. It will only make it hurt more later on. He knows this all too well.

———————-

Your mind was racing to catch up with the events unfolding around you. You were unable to register the hot tears pouring down your cheeks as your eyes stay trained on the back of the armored titan. You hadn't realized you'd fallen to your knees, unable to make any move against the man you'd fallen in love with three years ago. You only snapped out of your daze when his eyes momentarily looked up, meeting yours for only a second before focusing on Eren in front of him. You can finally feel the blood boiling in your body, burning through your veins like lava, threatening to consume your entire being and rip you to shreds.

Your eyes stayed watching the fighting titans on the ground below you, a ping of hurt stabbing into your chest as you watched Eren gain the upper hand. This is it, the enemies you'd been fighting so hard to find, Eren had him in a chokehold, so why did you feel so desperate to free Reiner from his grasp?

You were quick to use your ODM gear as Reiner roared out, causing your blood to run cold. Your eyes studied the empty field around you, waiting for more titans to show, but none did. It was only when the sound of cracking bones reached your eyes that you found out his plan. Bertholdt began falling from the top of the wall, slowly toppling down towards the two titans, steam exploding from the impact, nearly blowing you and the rest of the soldiers from your positions against the wall. As soon as the steam cleared, you used your hooks to attach to Reiner's retreating figure, holding yourself tight against the cracked armor.

Bertholdt's eyes were wide when he landed beside you, the shock clearly visible through his expression. "Y/N…?" you heard him whisper quietly, reaching an arm out to touch your shoulder, almost unsure if it really was you or not, his brow knitting together in worry and confusion.

He hadn't expected you to follow them, he had listened to Reiner talk about you for what felt like hours. He had also been convinced you would hate them when their secret was found out. But you didn't seem interested in hurting either of them, Bertholdt was human again, you could fight him easily, but you made no move to.

Reiner had been running for what felt like forever, but he finally stopped next to a tree, allowing you and Bertholdt to climb onto the wide branch before reverting to his human form and joining you two.

His eyes were trained on your figure, leaning against the bark behind you, tears still streaming down your face. His gaze was intense, almost pleading for you to look up at him, but you refused. You continued crying quietly. You couldn't meet his gaze.

A startled gasp left your lips as you felt his arms encase you against his body, his fingers running through your hair as his lips pressed against your forehead gently.

“You don't have to cry, I don't want to hurt you, Y/N." His voice sounded raw and broken, filled with anguish. You could sense that he wanted to say something more, but words failed him. After a few minutes, you heard him pull himself away slightly, taking your shoulders and turning you so you'd look him in the eye. Your hands were still gripping his shirt harshly, trying to hold yourself steady as you watched him. "We're both safe now."

He whispered hoarsely, his breath hot against your skin. "Please understand." There wasn't much more he could add, but the sincerity evident in his voice gave you pause. You let go of his shirt and instead wrapped your arms tightly around his waist, burying your head in his neck. He returned the embrace with a sigh, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. "I'm sorry."

He apologized once more, his grip on you tightening slightly, as he buried his face in your locks, breathing heavily. You shook your head quickly and pulled back, wiping at your face with a shaky sigh, before leaning forward to place a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth, your eyes shining. "I still love you." You said softly, your voice shaking slightly. "I always will."

He blinked at you and then smiled softly, cupping your cheek tenderly. You felt his thumb trace your jawline before he leaned closer to press his lips against yours, kissing you with a passion you hadn't anticipated, a passion that told you he'd never stop loving you.

"You don't care about what I am? About what I did?" He asked softly, pulling back just to see your reaction. Your eyes grew wide for a moment, your mind reeling as you processed his question. You stared at his golden eyes, wondering if they held even the tiniest bit of remorse. They weren't showing any kind of hesitation. They were begging for you to tell him that no, you cared for him, truly. That you loved him. That you wouldn't leave him. That you'd believe in him.

"I don't," You murmured after a moment, melting into the honey hues of his eyes, "because I love you." You said simply before moving to plant a slow yet thorough kiss on his lips. His arms immediately slid around your waist and drew you impossibly closer, your hands fisted in the fabric of his shirt, feeling as though your life depended on every single inch of contact you shared with the man. You gasped as his hands gripped your skin tightly, his tongue brushing against your lower lip, teasing you for opening your mouth to him. You obliged, parting your lips just enough for him to slip inside, tasting your tongue in return. He hummed at the contact and you could practically hear his smile against your lips, and the way you were able to make him forget his worries just by touching you.

But he pulled away all too soon, leaving you wanting more of his kiss than you'd ever known. He rested his forehead against yours, keeping his eyes shut. "We don't have a lot of time for this right now, but when return home, we'll continue, I promise." His warm breath ghosted across your skin as he spoke. His warm hands moved from where they rested on your waist to caress your face lightly, stroking your cheeks with his thumbs. You felt yourself growing dizzy from his touch and you leaned forward suddenly, resting your head against his shoulder.

"I can't go home, Reiner. You should know that better than I do." You breathed out sadly.

"That was never my home to begin with, we're going to my real home." He explained gently, lifting your chin up so you had to face him. You looked up at him curiously, his words causing you to raise an eyebrow. "Where's your real home?" you inquired.

"You'll love it there, I promise. I'll keep you safe." He whispered reassuringly, placing another gentle kiss against your temple.

———————-

The battle against the scouts had been hard, by the time you'd reached your destination, Reiner was on the verge of collapse. But he'd trudged along, leading you to where you'd be sleeping, quickly situating himself on the ground to finally get some well-deserved rest. "Hey…" You called out, walking over to the blonde, sitting next to him. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, it's just… been a long day." He replied shortly, looking over at you through half lidded eyes. You could see the exhaustion in them, in every part of him. Even after the battle ended, he was exhausted beyond belief, his body all but falling against you as he moved into a comfortable position. The both of you sat there for a while, silent, simply enjoying each other's presence, neither of you daring to break the calmness between the two of you.

"Please, don't ever leave my side." It nearly scared you, you thought he'd fallen asleep already, but he was fighting to keep his dropping eyes open as he looked at you.

"I won't." You promised earnestly. "Don't ever think I will. But please, sleep. You need it." You begged softly, bringing your hand up to stroke the side of his face.

He hesitated for a moment before his eyes closed, relaxing beneath your touch. A small smile spread across your lips as he finally fell completely asleep.