ackx-rman

[ackx-rman]

i loooooove your fic, please don’t let it die 😞😞. i don’t mind if the updates are slow! also i hope you’re doing okay <3

i'm crying at this. thank you so much, this means so much istg. ty guys for reading it. i hope you all enjoy the next chapters <3

[ackx-rman]

tea and you. levi ackerman

part. VI

part. V

Warnings: angst, blood, death, smut, unprotected sex, swearing, graphic scenes, idiots in love

“go away, levi,” you said, your voice low and tight with anger,muffled by the closed door between you. it wasn’t a scream-- it was worse. controlled. clipped. the kind of tone that meant you were simmering beneath the surface, gathering every sharp sword like weapons lined on a battlefield.

levi smirked, just barely. he knew that tone. it was the same one you’d used before slashing into his pride with precision-calibrated words. you weren’t sleep. you were awake, and more than that, you were stewing.

he imagined you now- arms folded tightly across your chest, jaw set, eyes blazing with indignation. maybe pacing. maybe glaring at the door like it had personally betrayed you. his fingers brushed the wood between you. cold. solid. but not impenetrable.

he leaned in slightly, voice low, resolute. “not a chance”

a silence followed-- long and thick. stretching like wire ready to snap. levi wasn’t a man accustomed to waiting. time, for him, was usually marked by bloodshed and orders barked across chaos. but here, in the hallway outside your quarters, each second felt like a slow turn of a blade.

“don’t you have captain duties to do?” you finally said, voice laced with that dangerously sweet sarcasm he knew too well.

ah- you were mad. not annoyed. not irritated. mad.

“i can do those later,” he said, his voice firm but lacking its usual sharpness. “right now, i want to talk to you.”

another pause. this one longer. he could hear soft movement inside, the creak of wood under your weight, maybe the faint rustle of fabric as you shifted restlessly. you were debating. calculating. he could almost feel your hesitation bleeding through the door.

“if you’re going to talk nonsense like earlier,” you finally snapped through the edge your voice had softened just a bit, “i swear, i can bite, levi ackerman. i’m warning you. they don’t call me the strongest woman for no reason.”

there it was- that fire, that heat that first drew him to you in the first place. a thread laced with just enough humor to crack the tension, but not enough to defuse it entirely. levi huffed a short breath- almost a laugh. almost.

“bite if you want,” he replied, unwavering. “i am not going anywhere until we talk.”

there was a beat of silence. then, the soft sound of a lock sliding free.

you opened the door with a slow, reluctant motion, revealing yourself at last. you were clad in a pair of old flannel pajamas-- plaid, slightly faded at the cuffs-- but beneath the unbuttoned top, you’d hastily thrown on a dark pair of sweatpants and a plain grey t-shirt, wrinkled and clinging slightly to your skin. your hair was tousled, strands falling into your face, and your eyes were puffy from frustration--or something else you didn’t want to name.

levi’s eyes flicked over you quickly, his expression unreadable. you looked disheveled. unshielded. raw in a way that tugged at something deep in his chest. whatever frustration he’d brought to your door dimmed slightly in the face of your visible exhaustion.

but then he saw it.

crimson, stark and vivid, bloomed through the white of the bandage. his jaw clenched.

“you’re bleeding,” he said, clipped and direct, his voice taut with controlled concern. he didn’t want to make a scene, again, not when things were already so fragile between you--but the sigh of that blood, fresh, and darkening, ignited something fierce in him.

you brow furrowed, confused, until your eyes followed his line of sight. a flicker of recognition crossed your face, followed by a small, nonchalant, “oh”

you turned away with a jerk of your shoulder, vanishing into the bathroom like it was no more serious than a paper cut.

levi’s eyes narrowed. he followed you into your quarters, the soft sound of his boots dull against the word wooden floor. the room smelled faintly of soap and lavender oil-- things you used when you wanted to calm your nerves, he remembered. he paused just at the threshold of the bathroom, watching through the partially open door as you settled on the edge of the tub, fingers already tugging at the soaked gauze.

the bathroom light was harsh, casting shadows under your eyes. you looked tired. stubborn. determined to downplay your pain, as always.

“that’s all you have to say? ‘oh?’” levi asked, incredulous, arms crossing as he leaned against the doorframe. his voice wasn’t cold--it never was with you-- but it carried a weight that was hard to ignore.

“i didn’t realize it was still bleeding,” you muttered, gritting your teeth as you tried to peel the gauze away from your skin. “it’s fine”

you winced as the sticky bandage tugged at the torn flesh beneath, the edges now darkened with fresh blood.

levi took one look at your fumbling fingers and felt his patience snap.

“idiot,” he said under his breath, his tone sharp. “stop”

before you could protest, he was already moving, kneeling down on the cold tile beside the tub. the air between you shifted. the room suddenly felt smaller.

you stiffened as his hands brushed yours aside with surprising gentleness. his touch firm, his fingers were calloused but careful as he examined the damage. eyes narrowing at the inflamed edges of the wound.

you watched him, quietly. the anger you’d worn like armor moments ago slipped slightly, replaced with something quieter, softer.

“you don’t have to-” you started, but he cut you off with a look. not harsh. just…steady.

“let me”

he peeled the gauze away slowly, piece by piece, revealing the deep gash beneath. his lips pressed into a hard line as he took in the swollen, reddened skin, the torn edge of the wound. you bit the inside of your cheek, more from the way he was looking at it than from the sting of the exposed injury.

levi didn’t speak for a long moment. when he finally did, his voice was low.

“how long have you been bleeding like this?” he asked, his voice tight.

“i don’t know,” you mumbled, eyes flicking to the side. “maybe since i got here…when i tried to get away from you or when i put on my pj’s. probably like five minutes ago.” you shrugged. “it’s fine”

“it’s not fine, you idiot.” levi’s voice echoed against the small bathroom’s tiled walls, clipped and frustrated. “you shouldn’t just bleed like this and act like it’s no big deal. it can get infected if you let all that shit get in it.” he pressed a clean piece of gauze to the wound, firm but careful.

you leaned back against the edge of the bathtub, watching him work. there was a fant, amused curve to your lips

levi huffed, clearly irritated, the sound cutting though the quiet like a knife. he glanced up at you, narrowing his eyes. “don’t smile at me like that”

you tilted your head. “it’s cute when you get worried, sorry.”

“stop thinking this is cute” his voice dropped, flat and cold, but beneath that tone was something deeper-- raw and tense. “you’re in pain, you’re bleeding, and you’re probably catching a cold. there’s nothing cute about that.”

“…okay. fine. sorry.” you smile faded. your gaze lowered to the tiled floor, shoulders slumping a little under the weight of his words. somehow, even after all your back-and-forth, you always ended up apologizing to him. to your captain.

levi noted the change in your posture, and although he was satisfied you’d finally taken him seriously, a pang of guilt twisted in his chest at how dejected you looked. he hated that. he didn’t want to crush your spirit. he just wanted you to care -- to value yourself the way he did.

he continued silently, rewrapping the wound with fresh gauze, his movements deliberate and gentle despite everything. the medical tape stuck with a soft snap as he secured the last layer. he kept his eyes on your arm but spoke more softly now.

“it’s not just about you being injured or sick,” he said. “it’s about how you act like it doesn’t matter. like you don’t matter.”

“it’s not that big of a deal,” you mumbled again, your voice quieter now. “a lot of our friends get killed every day by titans.”

the words hung between you like smoke. heavy. inevitable.

levi froze for a moment, his hands resting on your arm, then pulled away slowly. the smell of antiseptic filled the small space, mixing with the faint scent of iron. blood- always blood. he could almost see them again: farlan, isabel…the others. screams on the wind. eyes fading. futures stolen. he carried them all, and now he carried this too -- you.

“that doesn’t make this less important,” he said finally, “i don’t care if you think it's not a big deal. to me it is. i don’t want to see you hurting.”

you exhaled, shaky. “but we’re soldiers, levi. we die. maybe even tomorrow i-”

“don’t” his voice snapped like a whip. his eyes flashed, cold and fierce, cutting through your words like a blade. “don’t even think that”

you blinked, startled.

“i mean it,” he snarled. his hand tightened just above your bandage, not enough to hurt, but enough to root you in place. “you’re not going to die”

“but-”

“no.” his tone left no room for argument. “you’ll survive. you’ll get through the next mission alive. you’re too strong to die. too smart. and i’ll be damned if i let it happen.”

you stared at him, his words settling over you like a warm, trembling weight. there was a fierceness in his eyes that held back something more than command -- something unspoken, something fiercely protective, just like he always did with you. his special gift. you swallowed, a soft, uncertain smile touching your lips.

“…fine, captain.” the words came out in a whisper.

levi’s posture eased at last. the sharpness in his features softened, the tension in his jaw loosening. he released your arm gently, but his gaze stayed on you, unwavering.

“good,” he murmured. “don’t even entertain the thought of dying. you’re too stubborn for that anyway.”

there was a beat of silence. you let yourself breathe for the first time in minutes.

“thanks for helping me with the bandage,” you said, not looking up. your gaze on the clean white gauze now wrapped around your arm.

levi shrugged, his shoulders finally easing from their usual tension as his eyes lingered on your arm. the small bathroom had grown quiet, only the faint dripping of the faucet breaking the silence. a fragile sense of peace settled over the space like a thin layer of dust not yet disturbed.

“it's the least i could do,” he murmured. he adjusted the bandage again with precision, ensuring it wasn't too tight around your arm, but firm enough to stop any bleeding. “you can't just leave an open wound like that-”

you rolled your eyes, the reaction as automatic as breathing. “i'll bite you, ackerman,” you cut him, your tone dry but playful, a soft deflection you always used when you were feeling too exposed.

levi caught the eye roll, and despite himself, the corner of his mouth twitched into a small, reluctant smile. he recognized the defense mechanism immediately. you weren't truly annoyed- you were trying to push him back to a safer emotional distance, like you always did when someone gets too close. just like he does.

“what's with the eye roll?” he asked, “you know i’m right. you have to take better care of yourself.”

you let out a breath through your nose, half amused, half exasperated. “they gave me three days off from patrol so i can get better,” you replied, your voice carrying a smug undertone as if you’d just won a secret bet.

levi’s eyebrows arched, genuine surprise flashing in his normally unreadable expression. three days? that was unheard of unless someone had lost a limb or worse. either the superiors were finally starting to value your contribution- or they were just terrified of another disciplinary report from him.

“three days, huh?” he said, eyeing you with faint suspicion. “they really are going soft on you. and here i thought you were the ‘strongest woman in the regiment’.”

you smirked, your lips curling into a selfish-satisfied grin. “jealous?” you teased. “you were the one lecturing me about not taking care of myself? now i do, and suddenly they're going soft?” levi let out a short huff, somewhere between a scoff and a breath of laughter. he tried to keep his expression neutral, but it was failing fast. that subtle glint in your eyes, the way your shoulders relaxed now that the pain was in control, it chipped away at the rigid exterior he usually wore.

he slowly slid down the wall, sitting on the bathroom floor at your feet, arms crossing over his chest. his legs stretched out, the toe of one boot tapping rhythmically against the tile. “you really think i’m jealous?” he said, feigning boredom. “as if i’d want to spend three days holed up in this room while you laze around reading some trashy novel”

you couldn’t help it- you giggled. the sound bubbled out of you before you could stop it, light and airy, a stark contrast to the heaviness of just minutes ago. the room didn’t feel like a battlefield anymore. not for now.

“what’s so funny?” levi asked, side-eyeing you. “you think its amusing that i’m out there doing your work?”

“because of me?” you repeated, tilting your head as you stared down at him, still grinning.

he smirked, standing up in a single smooth movement, stepping closer until he was only a breath away from you.

“yeah, because of you,” he said matter-of-factly, “you’re the one getting sick. you’re the one pushing yourself past your limits. and you’re the one making me worry. so yeah, because of you.” his finger flicked lightly against your forehead, just enough to make the point.

you rolled your eyes again this time with a small laugh, with gentleness, you reached up and caught his finger in your hand. the touch was brief, hesitant- but it lingered long enough for both of you to feel the unspoken tension that lay just beneath the surface.

“if i don’t take care of myself, it’s bad. if i do it’s bad. either way, i’m in trouble,” you said with a light laugh, squeezing his finger before letting go.

you turned away, the moment slipping back into casual rhythm as you walked toward the small kitchenette tucked into the corner of your room. “do you want a cup of tea?” you asked, already searching for the kettle.

“tea?” levi repeated, raising an eyebrow, though the trace of a smile still lingers on his lips. “what, are you suddenly hospitable now that you’ve got time off?”

you looked over your shoulder, narrowing your eyes at him. “do you want it or not?”

he folded his arms again, exhaling like he’d been asked to make the hardest decision of his life. “yeah, sure. whatever. i’ll take a cup.”

you moved quietly to the small kitchenette, the clinking of ceramic mugs and the soft hiss of the kettle cutting through the quiet. your steps were familiar, your motions smooth and practiced as you prepared tea- an ordinary ritual, but tonight, it felt like something more. levi remained by the wall, arms crossed, his eyes tracking you with intensity. he didn't say much, but the weight of his gaze was palpable.

steam spiralez lazily from the spout of the kettle, curling into the air and wrapping the room in a calming warmth. the scent of the tea- a gentle blend of floral notes with a hint of spice- slowly diffused, softening the cold edges of the sterile room.

“you know, you're surprisingly good at making tea,” levi muttered, his voice low but clear, as if even much vulnerability was a struggle.

you turned your head slowly toward him, eyebrows raised. a smile tugged at your lips before you turned back to your task. “thank you,” you replied, “that’s probably the best compliment i’ve ever gotten from you.”

levi gave a small grunt in response, barely a sound, but it was his way of acknowledging the moment without giving too much ground. he shifted slightly against the wall, arms still folded, though his expression had softened around the eyes.

“don’t let it go to your head,” he added quickly, defensive as always. “i just said you’re surprisingly good at making tea, not that you’re some damn expert.”

you let out a small laugh, handing him one of the freshly filled mugs. “okay, fiiiine, i just said thank you, jerk.”

levi took the mug carefully as he always do. the heat seeped into his fingers, grounding him. he stared down into the steaming liquid, watching the faint swirl of herbs dance beneath the surface. the silence returned, but it wasn’t heavy. it was calm, almost domestic- something he rarely experienced.

the clock ticked softly in the background. somewhere outside, a distant wind rustled against the window panes. levi took a sip, his eyes closing for a second as the warmth spread down his throat. the blend was familiar, comforting, and god dammit, it was good.

“you’re annoying,” he said suddenly, his voice quiet but tinged with dry affection. his eyes remained on his cup.

you smiled into your tea, lips brushing the rim of the mug. “you love me,” you said, a teasing glint in your eyes- but the words hung in the air longer than they should have, heavier than they were meant to be.

levi nearly choked, the tea catching in his throat. he coughed once, eyes narrowing as he looked up sharply at you. your eyes met his- steady, searching. the silence stretches again, this time thick, fragile, electrified by something unspoken but undeniable.

inside, levi felt his pulse jump. his mind scrambled for a way out of the moment, a lifeline. but there wasn’t one. because it was true. ever since that night- when the walls between you had cracked just enough for the light to slip in- he hadn’t been the same. you haunted his thoughts, steadied him in battle, unsettled him in quiet moments. you made him feel things he wasn’t sure he had the right to feel.

and that terrified him.

“i’m just joking,” you said softly, the words a shield, and escape hatch- maybe for him, maybe for you. but your eyes didn’t waver, and neither did the ache behind them.

levi looked away at first.

“”yeah, well…stop joking like that. it’s annoying,” he snapped, more sharply than he intended. the words hit the air like a slap, and he instantly knew it was a wrong move. again.

your expression changed. the glint in your eyes dulled, your shoulders drawing in a little, defensively. you looked down into your cup, the light in you dimming just enough for him to feel it in his chest. like a punch.

“fine, sorry, again i guess.” your voice flat. distant.

regret twisted in his gut, sharp and immediate. he hadn’t meant to push you away-not really. but it was the only way he knew how to cope. affection made him feel exposed. vulnerable. and that had never been safe.

“tsk, don’t get all depressed on me now, idiot,” he muttered, trying to mask his concerns with his usual gruffness.

“asshole,” you mumbled back, though the word lacked its usual bite.

you needed to change the conversation as soon as possible. the silence in the room was deafening. the scent of tea, which had moments ago been comforting, now felt heavy and cloying. the sting of rejection, however unintentional, was a sharp pain in your chest.

like, wow, yeah, of course levi, mr captain of the no feelings or whatsoever, couldn’t even love you as a joke.

but god how you felt about this man.

the thought echoed bitterly in your mind. but god, the feeling you harbored for this man…they were a tangled mess of admiration, respect, and something deeper, something that made your chest ache and your breath catch in your throat. you couldn’t even describe it. they were a symphony of quiet moments shared, of unspoken glances, of the rare, fleeting smiles that transformed his usually stern face.

this asshole had made you cry. not from anger. not from pain. but from kindness. that quier, gruff tenderness that surfaced when no one else was watching. you remembered the way he stayed by your side during a fever, barely saying a word but always there. the way he patched your wounds like they were the most important thing in the world. because levi didn’t express his care with words- he bled into his actions, carved into the things he never said.

and still, he didn’t understand what that did to you.

you glanced at him now, sipping his tea in silence, brows furrowed, pretending to be unaffected. maybe this was your chance to lift the weight between you, even just a little. you remembered the deal. maybe that could help. a little push to bring the conversation back into familiar territory. a joke, a game- something safer than the feelings hanging unspoken in the air.

but…could you really go through it? could you confess, even directly, that the person you liked was him? could you risk it? could you destroy what you’d built?

“so,” you said, a sly glint in your eyes, breaking the silence that had settled between you. “what about the deal we had? care to talk about it now?”

the deal. how could he have forgotten about it? he'd been so consumed with worry about your injury that every thought of the deal had been completely erased from his mind. now, facing your pointed question, the memory of it resurfaced, bringing it a wave of nervous dread. did he really have to go through this? did he actually have to tell you who he was deeply in love with? the thought was mortifying. it was embarrassing enough to admit it to himself, let alone vocalize it to you. but he had to know who he harbored feelings for. he had to know he could…move on. so he could resign himself to admiring you from afar for the rest of his life.

“you're still holding me to the deal, huh?” he grumbled

“you've been a pain in my ass since then, so yes, i think its the perfect moment, don't you think, captain?” you retorted, your smirk widening, clearly enjoying his nervousness.

levi sighed, running a hand through his hair, his voice tight. “i'll tell you. but you have to promise not to make a big deal out of it, alright?” oh boy. he was nervous. more nervous than he'd been facing down any titan. it was the first time in his life he'd been so…mesmerized by someone. of course, he'd had his moments with other women. he was human, after all. but this…this was different. this was…god, how much he loved you. he really loved everything about you, even the parts that drove him crazy.

“i'm all ears,” you said, your eyes sparkling with anticipation. this is it, y/n, you thought to yourself, there's no way it's me. be prepared for it.

levi took a deep breath, trying to compose himself before he spoke. he looked at you, really looked at you, taking in the way the light caught the h/c strands of your hair, the curve of your smirk, your lips…those lips that drove him crazy. he noticed the way your e/c eyes shone whenever you looked at him. it was embarrassing, truly horrible, to lay himself bare like this, but he knew he had to be honest with you. he'd made a deal, and he wouldn't back down.

“it's you, idiot,” he said, the words coming out more gruffly than he intended, a mix of nervousness and long-suppressed emotion. he met your gaze again, determined to see your reaction. “you're the one i…lo-like.” he stumbled over the last word, the vulnerability of the admission making his throat tighten.

now it was your time to almost choke on the tea you’d been sipping, coughing violently as his words hit you like a punch to the chest. heat bloomed across your face, spreading fast from your cheeks to your ears. levi stepped forward quickly, his hand reaching out to pat your back gently, the contact firm but soft

he loved how easily he could catch you off guard, but this one? this reaction? this was his masterpiece.

“careful,” he said, smirking, “don’t go coughing up a lung on me. i just said it’s you, not that i’m going to propose marriage or something.”

you stared at him, wide-eyed, still catching your breath. “oh my god,” you breathed, your hand instinctively flying to your chest like you needed to make sure your heart was still beating. shock radiated from every part of you, but beneath the disbelief, something deeper appeared- something warm, dangerous, hopeful. happiness, maybe.

levi still had that goddamn smirk, clearly pleased with himself. a self-satisfied glint danced in his eyes, the proud glint of a man who had finally managed to do the impossible- render you speechless. his arms crossed over his chest, and he leaned back against the wall, watching you with keen, calculating precision, as if committing every twitch of your expression to memory.

“yeah, shocked you a bit, huh?” he drawled, eyes flicking down your form, then back up to your eyes. he was dissecting your reaction- every flicker of emotion, every hesitation in your breathing, the slight parting of your lips. there was something there. he could feel it- the tension pulling taut between you like the string of a bow.

“i didn’t expect the strongest soldier of the survey corps to have feelings for an idiot like you either. but here we are.”

a small smile ghosted across his lips- the kind of rare expression that made your knees feel like jelly. the irony in his tone was obvious, but the truth behind it? that was real. too real. and the fact that he admitted it out loud made the walls you've built around your own feelings begin to crack.

you opened your mouth, trying to speak, trying to say something, anything-but nothing came out. just a quiet, incredulous breath. you felt like a fish out of water, your lips parting, then closing again. the words were stuck between your brain and your heart.

levi chuckled- a low rumbling sound that stirred something deep in your stomach. he was enjoying this. maybe a little bit too much.

“speechless?” he teased, arching a brow. “that’s a first”

“oh, shut up” you mumbled, turning your face to the side. it was a weak attempt to hide the color rushing to your cheeks- but of course it didn’t work. you could feel it. the flush was giving you away, and judging by the smug little tilt of levi’s mouth, he’d noticed it too.

he’s clearly savoring the sight of you flustered. you were rarely like this- tripped up, red faced, fumbling. he liked seeing you like this. too much.

“you’re blushing” he observed, his voice low and smooth. “how adorable.”

he took a sip of his tea, not breaking eye contact- like the smug bastard he was- then slowly set the cup down on the table with a soft clink. the sound echoed a little too loud in the quiet room, as if marking a shift in the moment.

his tone turned serious, the teasing edge giving way to something more resolute.

“alright,” he said, “now it’s your turn to spill the beans. you promised you’d tell me who you fancy.”

he wasn’t going to let this go. not now.

you were the one smirking now, trying to summon your usual courage, though your heart was thundering behind your ribs. you locked your eyes with him, and the corner of your mouth twitched with mischief.

“it’s jean”

levi was now the one who nearly spat out his tea, again, a rare loss of composure that spoke volumes. his eyes widened in sheer disbelief, and for a split second, he looked like he was on the verge of full-blown panic. jean? JEAN? that horse-faced, loud-mouthed pain-in-the-ass?

“jean?” he echoed, stunned. “you’re telling me you like jean? seriously?” his voice cracked, caught between baffled outrage and pure offense. his eyebrows shot up so high they nearly disappeared under his bags, and he leaned forward, as if he hadn’t heard you right the first time.

you could see it- how quickly his smugness evaporated into horror. that tiny smug grin he’d worn moments ago? gone. vanished. replaced by a mixture of confusion, jealousy, and something dangerously close to betrayal.

“problem?” you said innocently, your smirk widening with every second his expression contorted. you leaned back, lifting your mug like a toast, watching him unravel in slow motion.

levi stared at you for another beat, his mouth agape. oh, he knew it. he fucking knew it. he knew you had feelings for someone and now he was faced with the absolute, soul-destroying possibility that you’d actually been harboring them for jean kirstein. that idiot. that long-faced moron who constantly ran his mouth, lacked subtlety, and couldn’t recognize his way out of a paper bag

he didn’t get it. what did you see in him? he wasn’t as strong as him. wasn’t precise. wasn’t careful. he wasn’t-

well.

he wasn’t levi.

“are you serious? out of all the people in the survey corps, you pick that idiot? why him?” his voice rose a touch, incredulous and borderline accusatory

you couldn’t take it anymore. the sound bubbled up from your throat and burst out- genuine, unrestrained laughter that filled the cramped room like sunlight. you clutched your stomach as your shoulders shook, eyes watering from how hard you were laughing.

“i’m joking! i’m joking!” you managed to get out between gasps, nearly wheezing from the force of your own amusement.

levi froze

his jaw clenched, and he looked away sharply. of course you were joking. of course. he scowled, half to cover his embarrassment, half to stop the sudden, overwhelming wave of relief that crashed through him.

“..tch” he clicked his tongue and crossed his arms over his chest again, shooting you a glare. “you’re such a pain in the ass”

your laugher only grew louder, your face glowing now. you’d definitely gotten him. and judging by the redness creeping up his neck, he knew it too.

Levi’s expression immediately changed from disbelief to annoyance. He had been ready to start ranting about how Jean wasn’t good enough for you, and then you tell him you were just joking?

"You’re joking? You seriously made me think you had feelings for that horseface? Not funny."

"do you really want to know who i like?"

levi’s eyes stayed fixed on you, unmoving, but you could see the tension that had begun to build in the tight line of his jaw, in the way his arms stiffened across his chest. his posture remained defensive, but his eyes- those storm-gray eyes- were searching, flicking over every inch of your face like they were trying to read your thoughts before you even spoke them.

you took a slow, deliberate step closer.

“don’t mess with me again,” levi warned, his voice low- calm on the surface, but you could hear the undercurrent of uncertainty threading through it. he was starting to suspect something, but he was terrified to hope. hope was dangerous. he’d spent most of his life pushing it away.

but right now, with you this close, breathing the same air, he couldn’t push anything away.

“i’m not,” you said, softly, your eyes never left his, your expression open and steady, “i’m telling the truth right now”

levi’s throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. his heart was thudding in his chest in a way he didn't think was even physically possible. not in combat. not even in the worst moments against titans. this- this was scarier. he didn’t move a muscle, afraid that if he did, you’d disappear or pull back, or worse- say a name that wasn’t his.

“what are you doing?” he asked again, this time quieter, a little more fragile, like he didn’t want to break the moment. his voice cracked faintly, he usual gravel softened by vulnerability. oh he hated this so much.

you took the final step forward.

now you were so close, the tips of your shoes nearly touching his boots. your breaths intertwined in the small, still space between you. he could smell the tea on your breath- sweet, earthy, familiar. your face was tilted up toward his, your lips parted just slightly as you hovered there, right on the edge.

“i’m showing you,” you whispered, “who i like.”

levi froze. he could feel the warmth of your body inches from his. the realization hit him like a punch to the gut, but not in a bad way. in a relieving, terrifying, beautiful way.

it was him.

you liked him.

every instinct screamed at him to pull away, to guard himself, but another part- buried under years of loss and fear and control- begged him to stay still, to let this happen.

“say it,” he rasped, his voice raw now. “say it’s me”

you smiled, soft and sincere, your gaze steady and unflinching.

“it’s you,” you said, “it’s always been you.”

and just like that, the air between you changed. not heavy anymore. not awkward. but charged. with years of stolen glances, unspoken words, thousands of teas, shared pain, and deep, aching affection that neither of you dared to name- until now.

As you started to pull away, Levi quickly snapped out of his surprise and grabbed your wrist, preventing you from moving away from him.

Levi’s grip was firm as he held your wrist, refusing to let you go. His eyes were locked intently on yours, bordering on desperation. you could feel the strength behind his touch, but also the restraint. he wasn’t hurting you. he was just asking you to stay without saying it outright.

"Don’t think you can just drop a bomb like that and walk away," he said, his voice low and steady. pleading. "You can’t just say you like me and then leave it at that."

"what do you want me to do then"

Levi pulled you closer to him, his fingers loosening just enough to trail up your arm before settling on your waist. closing the distance between your bodies once again.

he looked down at you, and for a heartbeat, his eyes flicked over your features as though memorizing them. every freckle, every shadow, every tremble in your lips.

“i want you to stay and prove it to me. prove that you’re serious about this…don’t just drop a bombshell like that and walk away. i want you to show me- with actions, not just words.”

you stared up at him, stunned at how open he was being. the man who rarely said anything unless necessary, was practically begging for assurance- for honesty, for something real. his breath mingled with yours, and the way he was looking at you made your stomach

“how” you whispered, breath catching in your throat

"How?" he repeated, "Like this."

Without warning, he leaned down and captured your lips in a kiss.

levi’s lips were firm and possessive, pressing against yours with the force of everything he had held back for far too long. his hands moved with purpose- one sliding around your waist, the other cradling the back of your head as he deepened the kiss. it wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t gentle- but it was real. raw. honest. unapologetically him.

he tilted his head, deepening the kiss, his tongue gently probing at your lips, seeking entry.

as your lips parted to grant him access, levi didn’t hesitate- he plunged deeper, his tongue sweeping into your mouth with a kind of desperate hunger that sent a shiver racing down your spine. there was no hesitant, no restraint-only need. hot, aching, overwhelming need. his mouth moved over yours with demanding intent, as though he’d been starved for this- for you- for far too long.

his hand roamed over your body with more urgency now, possessive and eager. fingers digging in as if anchoring himself for the moment, to the reality that you were here- in his arms, kissing him back just as fiercely.

the heat radiating off his body turned through your clothes, the friction between your bodies maddening. your chest pressed flush against his, every curve and contour fitting together like you were made to be there. you could feel the tension coiling inside him, the restraint it took not to lose himself completely. his grip on you tightened, and he let out a soft, almost primal growl against your lips when you tugged lightly at his hair.

your fingers clung to the fabric of his shirt, desperately needing more contact. it wasn’t enough- not the kiss, not the closeness- you wanted all of him. his scent- clean and faintly spiced- was dizzying. your head spun as he deepened the kiss again, tongue sliding against yours in a rhythm that was sensual, controlled.

the hard lines of his torso pressed against your softness, and you gasped softly into his mouth when you felt the undeniable evidence of just how much he wanted you.

he broke the kiss, just enough to let air in.

“tell me you meant it” he whispered, his breath hot against your mouth. “tell me you weren’t just messing around.”

your response was so low and breathy, he could only hear it. “i meant it”

still holding you he brushed his lips across your jaw, then lower- trailing heat along your skin until he reached the shell of your ear.

“then don’t go,” he murmured, “because if i kiss you again like that, i won’t be able to stop”

your hands slid up his chest, over his shoulders, fingers curling behind his neck.

“i don’t want you to stop”

levi froze for just a heartbeat, as if needing to process your words and that, again, this was real- then his lips crashed into yours again, harder, deeper, his body pressing yours back against the nearest surface. this time, there was no mistaking the fire behind the kiss- the unspoken promise of everything he’d been holding back.

and for the first time, he let it burn.

author's note: okay, long-ass chapter! I KNOW IT'S BEEN TOO LONG. wrote this as an apology. hope you guys remember the story. life has been hell, so I couldn't write much, but here's Chapter VI. also, next chapter is gonna be smutty af, be prepared.⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

[ackx-rman]

SORRY

im so sorry guys i literally abandoned the tea and you series bc of a lot of stuff that has happened to me these couple of months. don't know if i should end it??

[ackx-rman]

tea and you. levi ackerman

part. V

part. IV

Warnings: angst, blood, death, smut, unprotected sex, swearing, graphic scenes, idiots in love

three years ago

the humid summer air hung heavy, clinging to the cobblestones under my worn boots. sweat trickled down my temple, today was it. graduation. the culminating of three years of brutal training, pushing myself until my muscles screamed and my mind threatened to shatter sometimes. a nervous flutter tickled my stomach, a strange mix of anticipation and the familiar adrenaline that always surged before a challenge.

i’d aced the cadet corps, topping my division by a mile. not that the numbers mattered much to me. people seemed to like me well enough- i tried to treat everyone with kindness, and i suppose my knack for strategy and sheer physical strength didn’t hurt. they’d even given me a nickname: “the strongest woman.” it felt…odd. like a label someone else had slapped onto me. it wasn’t me. what mattered was what lay beyond these walls. the scouts. the very thought sent a thrill through me, a yearning so intense it ached in my chest. there was nothing for me here, trapped within these stone confines. it felt like a cage. i was desperate to break free.

being “the strongest” meant whispers followed me like shadows. i’d overhear snippets of conversations, hushed tones of carrying on the dry wind. the military police, those pampered elites stationed in the interior, had apparently assumed i’d be joining them, i could practically picture their pristine uniforms, their polished boots that never touched dirt, their smug smiles. the thought alone made my stomach churn. their comfortable lives, their sheltered existence…it wasn’t for me. not even close. i craved the raw, untamed world beyond the walls, the danger, the freedom. i needed it like i needed air.

the scout regiment, of course, knew about me. how could they not? hange, bless their heart, had practically bounced with excitement the first time we met. their questions about my training, my strength, and their theories on titan biology had come at me in a rapid-fire barrage. leaving me slightly breathless but strangely invigorated. they saw something in me, i think. something beyond just strength. erwin, with his sharp, calculating gaze, had also seen that spark. i felt it in his presence, a quiet intensity that spoke volumes. he didn’t say much, but his eyes held a knowing look, like he understood the fire that burned within me.

and then there was captain levi. he was…different. silent, almost brooding. his grey eyes, sharp as shards of ice, seemed to pierce through me, assessing every move, every breath. he rarely spoke to me directly, but i’d catch him watching me during training, his gaze intense and unreadable. we were polar opposites- my outgoing nature clashing with his reserved attitude- yet there was something there, a silent understanding that hung in the air between us. a shared weight, perhaps. the weight of responsibility, the burden of strength. i could feel it, a tension that crackled like static whenever we were near.

the moment of truth arrived, one by one, the last ten cadets stepped forward, pledging allegiance to the military police, choosing the comfortable, secure life within the inner walls. i watched them, a strange mix of pity and understanding. they sought safety, a predictable existence. but that wasn’t my path. my heart beat to a different drum, a wild, untamed rhythm that echoed the vast unknown beyond the walls. when my turn came, i didn’t hesitate.

a wave of excitement rippled through all the cadets as they could now reach their new destination, but it was nothing compared to the pure joy radiating from hange. they practically vibrated with energy, rushing towards me with erwin trailing slightly behind, a small smile playing on his lips. “i can’t wait to have the strongest woman on my squaaaaaad!” hange exclaimed, their eyes sparkling like a child on christmas morning. they turned to erwin, their enthusiasm barely contained. “she’ll come to my squad, right? it only makes sense!”

before erwin could even open his mouth to respond, a figure materialized from the shadows near the back of the crowd. levi. he moved with a quiet grace that always unnerved me, like a predator stalking its prey. his voice carried across the training grounds with surprising clarity. “no,” he said, “i want her on my squad.” his gaze locked onto mine, those sharp, grey eyes holding me captive. it wasn’t a request; it was a declaration. a challenge.

my heart pounded in my chest. this wasn’t how i’d imagined things going. i’d expected to be placed under hange’s command, as we talked, to dive headfirst into their eccentric research. but levi…his gaze held an intensity that made me feel both seen and utterly exposed. i took a deep breath, trying to maintain my composure. this was it. my first real interaction as now, a member of the survey corps with the commander and two captains, the three individuals who would likely shape my future with the scouts. “commander erwin,” i said, offering a respectful nod. then, shifting my gaze two the two figures flanking him, i added, “captain levi, captain hange,” acknowledging them with another nod, trying to keep my expression neutral, though inside, a storm of emotions raged. this was going to be interesting.

erwin, his expression a familiar blend of weariness and a gentle, almost paternal smile, returned my greeting with an incline of his head. hange, however, reacted with characteristic drama. their face crumpled into a theatrical pout, their lower lip jutting out. “why not my squad?” they whined, throwing their hands up in exasperation. “i met her first!”

levi didn’t even deign to glance away from me. his grey eyes remained locked on mine. “shut up, four-eyes”, he retorted, his voice flat and devoid of any warmth.

hange, undeterred, pressed on, turning their pleading gaze to erwin. “but erwin, we talked about this! she was supposed to be in my squad. we had plans!” erwin chuckled, a wry smile playing on his lips as he glanced between the two of them, a silent observer of their familiar squabble. “you can’t own her, hange,” he said, “i thought you understood that.”

i, meanwhile, found myself simply staring at the scene unfolding before me. hange’s dramatic outburst, levi’s unwavering stare, erwin’s quiet amusement- it was all rather surreal. it felt…nice. just a bit. to be the center of attention, to feel so valued, so wanted. i hadn’t expected to cause such a stir. i continued to stare between the three officers.

hange growing increasingly frustrated by erwin’s calmness and levi’s silent stubbornness, finally turned back to levi, their voice rising in pitch, “but why?” they demanded, throwing their hands up in the air, “why do you want her on your squad? tell me a reason and i can think of letting you have her”

levi’s response was curt, his voice devoid of any emotion, as if he were discussing the weather rather than a person. “the reason doesn’t matter,” he didn’t elaborate, didn’t offer an explanation, as his gaze was still on me, as if daring me to challenge him.

erwin began to explain, his voice calm and measured, attempting to diffuse the rising tension. “i’ts true that hang asked me earlier if y/n could be in their squad-” but levi interrupted him, cutting him off mid-sentence, as he often did.

“i don’t care who asked you first,” he stated firmly, the words were clipped, precise, and carried an undeniable weight of authority. “she’s coming with me.”

hange’s shoulders slumped. they knew better than to push levi too far, especially when he adopted that particular tone. “this is unfair!” they muttered, though the complaint lacked its usual vehemence.

a moment of silence fell over the small group. this was my chance to assert myself, to take control of the situation. my voice, though soft, carried a note of resolute determination that cut through the stillness. “can i have a word?”

the effect was immediate. all eyes were now solely focused on me, their curiosity piqued. the tension in the air became less about the squabble between hange and levi and more about what i was about to say.

“it would be nice to be with hange since we-” i began, trying to find a diplomatic way to express my preference without causing further conflict. but before i could even finish what i was trying to say, levi cut me off, a single, stern “no” silencing me instantly.

erwin, observing the exchange, couldn’t help but smirk, he seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the spectacle. “you know,” he mused, a knowing glint appearing in his eye as he addressed the group, “i think it would be quite advantageous to have the strongest soldier working alongside the strongest woman.”

hange’s eyes widened in surprise, their head snapping towards erwin, they knew they couldn’t fight that, at all. levi, however, remained impassive. erwin chuckled softly, his gaze sweeping across the small group, taking in each of our reactions.

“well,” he continued, a playful tone in his voice, “isn't it a good idea?” he paused, allowing his words to hang in the air for a moment. the implication was clear: he was endorsing levi’s claim.

i glanced at levi, a strange sensation washing over me. it was flattering, to say the least, that the strongest soldier, captain levi, wanted me on his squad. it was intimidating. he was known for his demanding nature and his unwavering expectations. he noticed my gaze, nothing seemed to escape his sharp eyes, giving nothing away. it was impossible to tell what he was thinking.

“well,” erwin announced, “i think y/n will be in levi’s squad,” he paused, then offered me a warm, reassuring smile. “but if you want to change your mind, y/n, there’s always hange’s squad, or even mine.” it was a generous offer, a subtle way of ensuring i felt i had a choice, even though the decision seemed all but made.

hange groaned in frustration, they knew when they were outmatched, and arguing with erwin when levi had already made his intentions clear was a lost cause. levi, on the other hand, simply nodded, as if the matter had been settled from the start. i returned their nods, accepting my fate, or perhaps, my opportunity.

“i can’t believe this!” hange said, crossing their arms over their chest and turning away.

i couldn’t help but laugh at my new friend’s antics. their over-the-top reactions were endearing, even in their frustration. even erwin chuckled, knowing full well that there was no changing levi’s mind once it was made up.

“you’re laughing too now?” hange exclaimed. they turned back to face us, their eyes wide mock betrayal. “i feel betrayed!”

“sorry, hange,” i said, still smiling, “i swear, if its really difficult to be in levi’s squad, i’ll switch to yours,” it was a promise i intended to keep, a way to reassure change and ease the tension

“please do,” hange pleases, their eyes widening with hope, “it’s going to be horrible with him.” they lowered their voice to a whisper, as if levi couldn’t hear them even though he was standing right there.

levi clearly having heard every word, snapped, “shut up,” his tone so sharp it cut through the lighthearted atmosphere like a knife.

“should we go then?” i addressed levi, breaking the brief silence.

he simply nodded at me

and so, i found myself walking beside him, following him onward his squad. the short walk felt significant, each step taking me further into this new chapter. as we approached, levi stopped, his posture becoming even more rigid, if that was possible. “all of you, listen. this is y/n. she’ll be joining our squad from now on. all of you, present, or don’t, whatever.” his tone was dismissive, as if introductions were a tedious formality.

a ripple of murmurs went through the group. i could feel their eyes on me, assessing from head to toe. i could almost hear the whispers in their minds: a new cadet…joining our squad…she is a rookie, their eyes widened, a mixture of awe and apprehension playing across their faces. i could see the questions forming: is she really that strong? can she keep up with levi’s demands?

levi’s already frayed patience finally snapped. he surveyed his squad, his expression hardening. “well,” he barked, his voice laced with impatience, “are you going to keep staring with your mouths open like a bunch of gaping fish?”

his sharp words made the others turn out of their daze. petra, always the cheerful one, was the first to recover. a wife, genuine small was given to me as she waved enthusiastically. “are you really y/n?” she asked, her voice bright and curious. “the strongest woman?”

i blushed, a nervous smile tugging at my lips. “well, uhm, i guess?” i replied, a slight awkwardness creeping into my voice. “i don’t really like that nickname anyway.” it felt…boastful, somehow, and i wasn’t one for drawing unnecessary attention to myself.

levi observed the interaction from beside me, his expression unreadable as always. he stood there, a silent sentinel, taking in the scene. the other members of his squad, still a little awestruck by my presence and perhaps intimidated by their captain’s, started to introduce themselves one by one. there was oluo, with his gruff attitude that seemed more bark than bite; eld, who offered a polite nod and a reserved smile; gunther, who seemed quiet and watchful; and then there was petra, who was still beaming at me with that infectious enthusiasm.

“it’s nice to meet you all,” i said, my smile genuine and warm as i met each of their eyes. “i hope i’m not a burden and that i can be of help,” i meant it sincerely. i wanted to prove myself, to earn their respect, and to become a valuable member of the squad.

my words seemed to put the others at ease. they returned my smile, their initial apprehension fading, replaced by a more welcoming face. i could tell they were already starting to warm up to me, to me not just as “the strongest woman” but as…well, as me. a sense of belonging, however small, began to blossom in my chest.

on the ride to our now, officially new home, i found myself riding alongside levi. the rhythmic clatter of hooves on the road, a steady beat accompanying the nervous flutter in my stomach.

“captain?” i began, my voice a bit hesitant, unsure of how to initiate a conversation with the notoriously taciturn captain

he turned his gaze towards me, a silent question hanging in the air.

“what is it?” he inquired, his tone gruff but not unkind. I could detect a hint of…something.

“i just wanted to say thank you”

levi raised a single eyebrow, “and why are you thanking me?”

“i mean,” i stammered, trying to find the right words, “for the opportunity you gave me to be in your squad. i know hange really wanted me on their team, and i appreciate you…well, you know, choosing me.” i trailed off, feeling a little foolish for making such a big deal out of it.

he looked at me for a few seconds. the silence stretched between us, the only thing i could hear was the sound of the horses. “no need to thank me,” he finally said, “you’re strong and that’s what matters”

“well, i just wanted to thank you,” you mumbled, feeling a sudden wave of awkwardness. “sorry.”

he looked away, a slight frown creasing his brow. “you don’t have to apologize,” he muttered, sounding almost irritated, “it’s stupid”

“yeah, sorry- i mean, nevermind,” you said, feeling yourself blush again

he turned his head to look at you again, his expression unreadable. “do you always apologize so much?”

you bit your lip, a small smile playing on your lips. “sometimes,” you admitted, your voice soft.

“you need to stop apologizing for things you don’t have to apologize for, brat,” levi said, his voice surprisingly gentle despite the bluntness of his words. the unexpected softness in his voice makes a fleeting warmth spread through you.

“fine, captain,” you muttered, subtly increasing the distance between you. you weren’t sure why, but the urge to create a little space between you and your new intimidating captain was almost instinctive. his presence was…intense. like standing near a tightly coiled spring, ready to unleash at any moment.

levi watched you with a curious expression, his gaze following your movements. “what are you doing?” he inquired

“uh…i guess going with the squad and leaving you…alone, until we arrive?” you said, your voice trailing off as you realized how that sounded. you immediately regretted it, your cheeks flushing crimson. i wanted the ground to swallow me whole. god.

he huffed, an almost imperceptible sigh escaping his lips. “stay close,” he ordered, moving closer to you again, “you’re the new one, i don’t want you far if we have an attack”

“yes, captain,” you replied, a slight smile playing on your lips.

he didn’t say anything else, his gaze fixed on the horizon. his expression remained unchanged, a face that betrayed no emotion. he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, not even to himself, but a subtle sense of satisfaction settled within him. he was glad that you were in his squad. glad that, ultimately, you’d been placed under his command rather than hange’s. your presence…it was…he trailed off in his thoughts, unable to define the feeling. it was unfamiliar, a subtle shift in the usual order of things. you were, on the surface, mostly like any other soldier in his squad- strong, skilled, dedicated. and yet…there was something different about you.

he found himself observing you, almost unconsciously, drawn to details he normally wouldn’t even care about. the way the sunlight caught in her hair, turning the strands into a halo of light. the determined set of her jaw as she navigated the rough terrain, a clear indication of her focus. the way your eyes crinkled at the corners when you smiled, the expression of warmth that seemed to illuminate your entire face. the gentle way you caressed your now horse’s neck.

without you knowing it, he’d started frequenting the training grounds more often. he would position himself at the edge of the camp, a silent observer amidst the trees, his gaze fixed on your movement. he liked, enjoyed, watching you train. your movements were so fast, precise and powerful. he found himself anticipating your presence, scanning the crowd of cadets until he found you, even before this official transfer. he’d never spoken to you directly until now, but he’d been watching. waiting.

he pushed the thoughts down, dismissing them as irrelevant. he was a soldier, not a poet. emotions were weaknesses, distractions that could get him killed, or worse, get his squad killed. there was no room for such frivolous things in his life. duty and survival were all that mattered.

“it’s going to be fun,” your voice cut through his internal thoughts. he turned his head and saw you looking at him, with that smile, that smile that radiated optimism everywhere.

he looked back at you, your gazed meeting for a fleeting few seconds. your smile. it was…something. it truly was. a warmth seemed to emanate from it, a light that momentarily pierced through the hardened shell he’d built around himself. he quickly looked away.

“you don’t know what you’re talking about, brat,” he muttered, his voice again gruff, the familiar harshness returning as a defense mechanism. he scowled internally. he needed to focus.

despite his gruff words, a small thought lingered in the back of his mind. yes, he thought to himself, it’ll be interesting.

author's note: short but y/n pov cause yeah. thank you for reading, next chapter will be interesting *wink wink* and long. ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

pt VI

[ackx-rman]

tea and you. levi ackerman series.

here are all the parts for now from the series tea and you, so its more easier this way. love y'all ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

pt I

pt II

pt III

pt IV

pt V

pt VI

[ackx-rman]

tea and you. levi ackerman

pt. IV

pt: III

Warnings: angst, blood, death, smut, unprotected sex, swearing, graphic scenes, idiots in love

the first silver of dawn had barely pierced the barracks when levi was already awake, a knot of restless energy coiling in his gut. sleep had been nonexistent that night, not even his daily three hours of sleep, it was plagued by unwelcome images: you with jean, the easy curve of your smile directed at him, the sound of your laughter echoing in levi's mind like a mockery. the memory chafed, a constant irritant beneath his skin. he's stared at the ceiling for hours, the rough texture of the wooden planks blurring in the dim light. now, the remnants of that sleepless night clung to him like a shroud, casting a deep scowl across his features. 

he pushed himself out of his bed, the floodboards groaning beneath his weight. the air in the room was stale and cold, in contrast to the burning frustration in him. he dressed quickly, his movements fast, he needed to move, to do something. 

he entered the main hall, he hoped, against his better judgment, to find you there, already at breakfast. so you can finally answer his question. the heavy wooden door creaking shut behind him, the sound echoing in the large, sparsely furnished room 

levi's gaze swept across the hall, a practiced scan that took in every detail: the early risers already huddled over steaming mugs, the clatter of cutlery against plates, the low murmur of conversations. but his eyes were searching for one thing: your face. he scanned the table, his eyes lingering on each figure, dismissing them with a flick of his gaze until they landed on an empty space. a space where you should have been. 

a deeper frown etched itself onto his face. the knowledge in his stomach tightened. he tried to ignore the sharp pang of disappointment that shot through him, a feeling he refused to acknowledge as anything other than professional concern. who am i lying to? the question echoed in his mind. the image of you and jean resurfaced and a wave of nausea washed over him. were you with him?

 where the hell were you. jealousy. jealousy. 

a new, colder fear gripped levi. what if something had happened to you during patrol? the thought pierced through his simmering anger. an image flashed through his mind: you, fallen, injured, perhaps even…he cut the thought off abruptly. no. he wouldn't entertain such possibilities. not yet. 

he turned on his heel, the abruptness of the movement almost causing him to stumble, and strode out of the mess hall. the walk to the infirmary was a blur, his mind racing, each step fueled by a growing sense of urgency. he practically burst through the infirmary doors, the sudden intrusion causing a few heads to turn. the air inside thick with the sterile scent of disinfectant and herbs, a smell he associated with pain and loss. 

his eyes frantically scanned the room, a desperate search for your familiar form among the rows of beds. each occupied bed brought a fresh wave of anxiety, each empty one a chilling premonition. he saw a few familiar faces- a cade with a bandaged leg, another with a sling- but not you. his heart pounded against his ribs, a heavy, non stopping rhythm.

then, he saw you. 

you were standing near a window, talking to a nurse. relief washed over him in a dizzying wave, so intense it almost made him weak. you were alright. you were talking, gesturing your free hand, a small smile playing on your lips as always. the tension in his shoulders erased, and he let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. 

but the relief was short-lived. his gaze dropped to your arm, and his blood ran cold again. a bandage was wrapped tightly around your forearm. you were hurt. the sigh of the injury ignited a fresh surge of anger, hotter and more intense than before. it was a possessive anger, a protective fury directed at whatever had dared to harm you. 

he stopped directly beside you, his presence radiating an intensity that made the nurse subtly step back. his grey piercing eyes fixed on the bandage. the lines around his eyes deepened. 

“what the hell happened?” 

you looked up, startled to see him standing there. your eyes widened a little bit in surprise, a small, involuntary smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

“oh, hey. it's nothing, really,” you began, trying to downplay the situation. “we ran into a few abnormally large titans on patrol, and…well, i got a bit of a scrape. it’s just a deep cut, nothing serious. the nurse patched me up. it's fine now. though,” you added with a slight shiver, rubbing your uninjured arm, “i think i might be catching a cold. it was absolutely freezing out there when the sun came down and we ended the pa-”

levi's eyes narrowed, his irritation spiking as you continued to ramble, dismissing your injuries as if they were mere inconveniences. the casual way you spoke about a deep cut- a wound that could easily become infected- sent a fresh wave of anger through him. 

“you idiot,” he interrupted, cutting through your words like a knife. he didn't care if he sounded harsh; someone had to make you understand the gravity of the situation. “that's not nothing. a deep cut and a cold? you're injured and potentially getting sick, and you're just talking about it as if it's a trivial matter.” his gaze intensified, his dark eyes boring into yours, a hint of worry that he quickly masked with a scowl. 

“it's not a big deal,” you repeated, rolling your eyes, a slight smirk playing on your lips. “i could be dead right now, and i'm not, and we only lost one cadet tonight. so, i'd say that's a win.”

“don't say that,” he growled, “you act like your safety and health mean nothing. you can't just brush it off as if getting a deep cut and catching a cold are trivial matters. you have no regard for your own wellbeing.”

the nurse, sensing the rising tension between the two of you, quietly slipped out of the room, leaving you and levi alone. 

“levi,” you began, you pushed yourself up from the edge of the examination table, ignoring the slight twinge in your arm. “you've sent cadets on missions with far worse injuries, even with the flu.” you tilted your head, the smirk widening. it was a valid point, and you knew it.

he hated that you were right. he had sent cadets out in far worse condition. it was the reality of their situation, the constant pressure to maintain their ranks and fulfill their duties. but this was different. this was you. you weren't just another soldier. 

“that's not the point,” levi retorted, “those were different circumstances. you're…different.” he struggled to find the right words. “you shouldn't be so reckless and careless with yourself. you should take care of yourself better.” 

“i do!” you exclaimed, your voice rising in frustration. the accusation stung. was he questioning your competence as a soldier? was he calling you irresponsible? you glanced down at the bandage of your arm. you remember the tiny scratch from a few days prior, easily concealed beneath your sleeve. this was different. this was a wound you couldn't hide. 

“do you?” levi snapped, his eyes with anger and concern. “because you say you take care of yourself, but clearly you're not doing a very good job of it. getting a deep cut and catching a cold aren't exactly signs of self-care and maintenance.” 

“what’s your problem now?” you demanded, your annoyance reaching a boiling point. his condescending tone, his scrutiny, it was all too much. every single cadet faced the risk of injury; it was the nature of their duty. why was he singling you out? 

“my problem,” levi said, his voice dropping to a low, dangerous growl. “is that you won't care for yourself. you're treating this like it's nothing, as if it's just a small inconvenience.” he took a step closer, his presence looming over you. “i'ts not nothing. it's a sign that you're pushing yourself too hard, that you're not valuing your own life”

“it was just a patrol, levi,” you repeated, your voice laced with exasperation. “i got hurt, that's it. i'm not dead, you know. this kind of thing happens all the time. i'm not the first cadet to get injured in battle. you're making it sound like i'm…i'm…” you trailed off, sighing heavily. 

“i know that,” his frustration reaching a new peak. of course, he knew injuries were a common occurrence. he'd witnessed far worse. but your stubbornness was driving him to the edge. “but that doesn't mean you should take your injuries lightly, especially when you're already getting sick,” then fueled by anger and a desperate need to make you understand, he said something he instantly regretted. something he shouldn’t have said. 

“i don't want that kind of soldier in my squad” 

your expression changed instantly. the annoyance and frustration were replaced by a look of stunned disbelief, followed by an almost painful flash of hurt. without a word, you tuned abruptly, quickening your pace, desperate to escape the suffocating  weight of his words.

levi instantly realizing the impact of his harsh statement, felt a pang of guilt shoot through him. he hadn't mean it the way it sounded. he hadn't meant to imply that he didn't value you as a soldier, as a person, gosh, you were the most perfect person and soldier he had ever met. he just wanted you to understand…to care about yourself as much as he did. 

he wasn't about to let you walk away. with a swift movement, he closed the distance between you, his hand firmly grasping your uninjured arm, halting your progress. his grip was firm, but not painful.

“don't walk away from me when i'm talking to you,” he said, his tone stern, yet laced with desperation. he needed to explain himself, to take back those hurtful words. 

“we're not talking,” you snapped. you tried to yank your arm free from his grip, but he held firm. “this is nonsense.” you couldn't believe he had said that. after everything, he'd just…dismissed you like that. did he even realize how much his words stung? did he even care?

“damn it, this isn’t nonsense, and you know it,” levi said, frustrated. he hated this, he hates when you are mad at him. 

“i’m going to rest now,” you said, voice sharp and cold. you wrenched your arm free from his grasp, the sudden movement causing a sharp twin in your injured arm, which you promptly ignored. without another word, you turned and stormed away.

“hey, wait a damn minute. i’m not done talking to you,” levi called after you. desperate. 

“but i am,” you replied back, the finality of your voice was like a slap in the face.

you reach your room. slammed the door shut behind you, the resounding thud echoing through the hallway, a clear message to levi that the conversation was over, at least for now.  you leaned against the door for a moment, catching your breath, your heart still pounding in your chest. this was becoming a frustratingly regular occurrence.

levi stood in the hallway, staring at the closed door. a frustrated sigh escaped his lips. he knew he’d messed up, that his harsh words had only pushed you further away. he watched the door for a long moment. he wanted to knock, to demand that you open up and listen to him, but he knew that would only make things worse. he had to give you espace, but leaving you upset and injured, distress him.

he made a decision. he leaned against the wall beside your door, crossing his arms over his chest. his posture was relaxed, but his eyes remained fixed on the wooden panel, as if he could see through it, as if he could somehow reach you through the barrier you’d erected. he would wait. he would wait, no matter how long it took. he would wait until you got out, even if it meant standing there all day. 

jean, passing by, spotted levi standing rigidly outside your door. he approached, a concerned expression on his face. 

“oh, captain,” he began, “i was just going to check on her. she has a pretty deep cut-” 

levi’s irritation, which had been simmering, flared up again. perfect. just what he needed. jean, arriving to further complicate the situation. he didn’t even bother to turn around, his gaze remaining fixed on your door, as if willing to open. “i know,” he replied tersely, dismissively. 

“uh, okay?” jean replied, a bit taken aback. he paused, glancing from levi to the closed door, confusion in his eyes. he raised a hand as if to knock, to see if you were feeling better.

“wait,” levi pushed himself away from the wall, and walked towards jean, blocking his path to your door. he wasn’t going to let jean barge in and see you before  he had a chance to speak with you himself. 

“don’t knock,” he said, his tone leaving no room for argument. “her door is closed, she’s probably sleeping. you should leave her alone for now.” his eyes a silent warning to jean to heed his words.

his possessiveness, while perhaps a bit excessive and certainly fueled by his own complex feelings for you, stemmed from a deep-seated care. he wanted to shield you, to create a space where you could heal. he wanted to be the one to offer you comfort and reassurance, the one to ensure you were alright. it was, in a twisted way, his attempt to keep the promise he had made to you, even though he is the one who fucked up with his words this time. 

“but-” jean began, but levi cut him off

“no buts. i said she's probably sleeping, and we shouldn't disturb her. you can come back later if you want to talk to her,” and with that he ended the conversation

jean, sensing the finality in levi’s tone and not wanting to push the issue with his captain, simply nodded and went down the hallway towards his room. he cast one last curious glance back at levi standing guard outside your door before disappearing around the corner. 

levi watched jean go away. he stood outside your door, a wave of uncertainty washing over him. were you truly asleep, or were you simply ignoring him? did he cross the line with his harsh words? of course a part of him hoped it was the former, that you were resting and recovering. but another part, a more selfish part, wished you would open the door and let him in. 

meanwhile, inside your room, you were most definitely not asleep. you were lying on your bed, staring at the ceiling, a small smile playing on your lips. you knew levi’s routine when the two of you were at odds. you were certain he’d be pacing outside your door, replaying the argument in his head, overthinking every possible scenario. but this time he had been hard on you, he hurted you, but you knew deep down that he was regretting it. 

what you hadn’t anticipated was jean’s visit. it was a kind gesture, you knew, and you appreciated his concern. but the real entertainment, if you could call it that, came from overhearing levi’s overprotective behaviour. it was funny. 

ever since he’d made that promise to you a year ago- a promise to protect you- he’d been like this. it was subtle at first, but it gradually intensified over time. sometimes, you’d catch other cadets glancing at him curiously, their brows furrowed in confusion, wondering why the captain was so unusually protective over you. even you didn’t always understand the depth of his concern. but you felt his concern for you ever since your first real conversation, the moment he had personally chosen you for his squad. 

but at the same time, you knew he knew you were capable of anything. you were, without a doubt, the strongest woman he’d ever met in his life, both physically and mentally. he’d seen you in action countless times, since you were training, witnessed your determination, your relentless drive, your sheer refusal to give up, even in the face of impossible odds. he knew that if anyone could literally defeat him in a sparring match, it was going to be you. he’d even admitted it once, after a particularly grueling training season where you’d nearly bested him. 

you knew, deep down, that he felt a fierce pride in your abilities, a quiet admiration for your strength. it was a pride he rarely expressed verbally, but it was there, evident in the way he watched you during training, in the subtle nods of approval he gave after a successful maneuver, in the way his eyes lingered on you just a fraction longer than they did on other cadets. 

part. V

author's note: i'm just gonna say: bring back yearning men. also next chapter it's gonna be a flashback too, i love that the story goes from past and present so you can understan better the characters. i hope you guys are loving it as much as i do. thank you all for the love. ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

[ackx-rman]

hello babies, just wanted to say that I'm open to commissions or requests!! that would made me so happy!! meanwhile I'm writing tea and you, I would love to write what you guys want.

I can write aot and jjk characters mainly so feel free to ask! •̀.̫•́✧

[ackx-rman]

tea and you. levi ackerman

pt. III

pt. II

Warnings: ANGST, BLOOD, DEATH, smut, unprotected sex, swearing, graphic scenes, idiots in love

a year ago

levi set his cup of black tea on the polished table, the clink of the porcelain echoing softly in the otherwise quiet room. one spoonful of sugar, precisely measured, disappeared in the dark liquid, just the way you preferred it. he settled into his usual seat across from you, the late afternoon sun filtering through the window, casting long, dusty beams across the worn wooden floorboards. the light caught the fine lines around his eyes, a testament to years spent under harsh skies and in the face of constant danger. 

this daily ritual had become a sanctuary, a fragile bubble of normalcy in their lives. you had initiated it weeks ago, a casual invitation for tea after a particularly grueling mission. it had started as a simple gesture of companionship, but it had quickly evolved into something more. now, the mess hall felt empty if you weren’t there waiting, and he found himself unconsciously yearning back from patrol, anticipating this quiet moment. 

as he sipped his tea, his gaze, observant as always, drifted to the small, crescent-shaped scar that arched over your left eyebrow. it was barely noticeable, almost hidden by a strand of hair, but it held a story, a silent testament to a past he knew little about. 

it was the first thing he’d noticed about you when you two both met- a small imperfection that somehow amplified your otherwise striking features. your beauty was undeniable, but that scar…intrigued him. he’d been meaning to ask about it for days, the question lingering on the tip of his tongue. scars were a part of a person, a map of their experiences, and he was inexplicably drawn to understanding the story behind this one. 

“gosh, today really drained me,” you sighed, sinking into your chair with a weary slump. you rubbed your temples, a faint smudge of dirt still on your cheekbone

he offered a small, almost imperceptible quirk of his lips, handing you the steaming cup of tea. the delicate floral scent of the brew filled the air. “i’d say it’s an everyday occurrence that you get drained,” he teased

“well, yeah, but today was even worse than most. and connie…,” you grimaced, “connie’s stomach decided to stage a full-blown rebellion after whatever he’d eaten. he was throwing up all over the place during patrol. it was absolutely disgusting.” you shuttered at the memory. 

levi’s expression shifted to one of mild disgust. he pinched the bridge of his nose, a sigh escaping his lips. “of course, he had to ruin your shift with his…digestive issues,” he muttered, taking another sip of his tea, as if trying to cleanse his palate of the imagined unpleasantness. he set his cup down with a soft thud. “honestly, sometimes i wonder how that idiot even manages to dress himself”

you giggled, “i’m not saying it’s his fault,” you clarified, “but you know how much i hate seeing someone throw up” you made a face, your nose wrinkling in disgust. 

he could see the genuine disgust etched on your face, a subtle shudder rippling through you at the memory. he held back a smile. “right, you’ve got a weak stomach when it comes to that kind of thing. i remember the first time a new recruit lost his lunch in front of you just because he met you. i honestly thought you’d be the next one joining him” he chuckled

“how could you possibly remember that?” you exclaimed, a mixture of embarrassment and amusement in your voice. “oh my god, that was absolutely mortifying,” you laughed, a hand flying to your mouth as you cringed at the memory. “i nearly fainted. hange was practically bouncing with excitement, though. it was…a unique experience.” 

thirty minutes drifted by in comfortable silence, punctuated only by the clinking of teacups and the distant sounds of the barracks. levi found his gaze drawn repeatedly to your eyebrow, his attention fixated on the small, pale scar. 

“is something wrong? do i have something on my face?” you asked, a hint of genuine concern flickering your eyes. you reached up a hand, instinctively touching your cheek. 

“oh, nothing. it’s just.. i’ve been meaning to ask about your little scar there,” he said, his eyes following the delicate curve of the scar. 

your expression shifted, you touched the scar with the tip of your finger, an unconscious gesture. “hm, this scar? uhm, it's nothing, really,” you replied, your voice a touch strained, the easygoing tone from moments before replaced by a hint of reserve. 

he could sense your hesitation. it was as if a curtain had been drawn, veiling a part of you he hadn’t seen before. but his curiosity piqued. 

“it’s clearly not ‘nothing’,” he insisted gently, setting his now-empty teacup on the table with a soft click. “it’s a scar. scars usually have a story behind them, don’t they?”

you hesitated for a moment, toying with the handle of your teacup, your eyes fixed on the swirling patterns in the porcelain. 

“well, back home, i didn’t exactly have the…’ideal’ family situation, you could say,” you replied 

he leaned forward vaguely, his interest now fully engaged. you’d never spoken about your family before, and the sudden vulnerability in your voice drew him in. 

“care to elaborate? or is this a sensitive topic?” he wanted to know, but he didn’t want to push you if it was something you weren’t ready to share. 

you sighed, the delicate porcelain felt cool against your skin. 

“back home…” you began, your voice low and steady, a controlled anger simmering beneath the surface. “my father abandoned my mother, my little brother and me, my brother was only two, and i was just eight. he was constantly traveling between wall maria and wall rose, going back and forth to the city to work. sometimes, he’d be gone for days, even weeks. then, one day, he returned home and told my mother, so casually, that he’d fallen in love with another woman. he was going to start a new family,” your jaw tightened, a hard edge creeping into your voice. 

you took a slow, deliberate breath, as if trying to contain the fury that threatened to erupt. “desperate, my mother…she married another man. a cruel, abusive drunkard, but he had money,” your hands tightened around the teacup, your knuckles whitening. the grip looked painful, but you didn’t seem to notice. “he…he would often beat us,” your voice was flat, devoid of emotion, but the underlying anger was more than palpable. “once,” you said, your eyes hardening, “once, when i wasn’t home, he struck my brother so violently that…he killed him.” the words were delivered like a punch, sharp and brutal. 

you stared straight ahead, your gaze fixed on some distant pont, as if relieving the scene in your mind. “when i returned from work, i found my mother cradling my brother’s lifeless body. she was…broken.”  a bitter, humorless smile twisted your lips. “the man…he’d gone out to drink, as usual.” your voice dripped with disdain. “in a fit of rage, i picked up a knife. i went to confront him.” your eyes flickered down to your hands, clenching and unclenching into fists. “when he saw me, knife in hand, he knew what i was capable of, he grabbed a chair and threw it. it landed here.” you touched the scar on your eyebrow, the gesture more defiant than sorrowful. “my mother, already shattered by the loss of her son, couldn’t bear it. she died soon after.” you finally met levi’s gaze, your eyes cold and hard. “i was left alone. so i joined the survey corps” 

levi was taken aback. he’d expected sadness, perhaps grief, but not this raw, controlled anger. it radiated from you like heat, a palpable force in the room. he saw the pain, of course, but it was overshadowed by a burning resentment, a deep-seated rage that seemed to fuel you. he was silent, absorbing the weight of your words, the intensity of your emotions. he recognized that kind of anger, the kind that came from deep loss and injustice. it was a familiar companion

how could someone so vibrant, full of life, have endured unimaginable hardship?

“you don’t have to say anything,” you said now softly, an almost resigned smile gracing your lips. “i’m not here for pity. though,” you added, a faint glimmer of your usual spirit returning, “i don’t think you’d offer it anyway.” 

he returned her sad smile, shaking his head. 

“pity? i wouldn’t pity anyone. just…surprised,” he admitted, his voice thoughtful. “it made you the strong soldier you are now. the strongest woman i’ve ever seen.” a hint of genuine admiration entered his tone. “and…i truly don’t understand how someone can still be so…bright, after everything you’ve been through,” 

“well,” you said, a forced smile on your lips,” someone’s gotta bring the sunshine, right?” you shrugged, a subtle tension still visible in your shoulders. “besides, dwelling on the past won’t change it.” you finally met his gaze, your cheerful facade already put on. “at least now i’m helpful,” you added, “since i couldn’t… you know…” the unfinished sentence hung in the air, a testament to the guilt and pain you still carried.

“right…” he murmured. he saw past the forced smile, the carefully constructed facade. he could see the lingerie pain, the shadows that still clung to your e/c eyes. yet, he also saw the fierce determination, the unwavering strength that shone through despite everything. he recognized that strength, that refusal to be broken. it mirrored his own. 

“you don’t have to hide from me,” his voice softly, his voice surprisingly gentle, laced with a rare sincerity. 

“it’s the first time i’ve told anyone this,” you admitted. you traced the rim of the cup again, your fingers trembling a little.

“well,” he said, his voice softening even further, “im glad you trusted me enough to tell me,” he watched you avoid his gaze, a flicker of concern in his eyes. he reached across the table, his hand hovering for a moment before gently closing around yours.

this was the first time levi had touched you with such deliberate intent. it wasn’t a casual brush or a necessary contact during training. this was a conscious gesture of comfort, of connection. his hand was warm and calloused against yours, his thumb gently rubbing small circles on the back of your hand. he didn’t let go. he wanted you to feel his presence, to know that you weren’t alone, that you could rely on him, even if you weren’t ready to fully accept it yet. 

“what about you?” you asked finally, a hint of curiosity replacing some of the tension in your expression. “you never talk about your past either.” 

it was a fair point; you had laid yourself bare, sharing a deeply painful part of your past. he owed you a similar honesty, a reciprocal vulnerability.

“well, honestly, it’s not the most cheerful past either,” he paused

“you’re from the underground, right?” you asked, your tone gentle, not accusatory.

a surprise crossed his features. he hadn’t expected you to know that. he nodded. 

“that’s right. how did you..?” 

“oh,” you blushed, a faint pink tinting your cheeks, “erwin told me once,” you quickly added, almost apologetically, “i asked him about you” 

of course erwin told you. the old bastard had never been one for secrets, especially when it came to information that might benefit the corps- or, levi suspected with a wry inner thought, information that might encourage some… interaction between members. 

“right,” levi muttered, a ghost of smirk playing on his lips, “that old bastard never keeps his mouth shut, does he?

“don’t blame him,” you said, “i asked” you smiled at him, “so… how was it?”

the memories, sharp and vivid flooded back: the oppressive darkness, the constant struggle for survival, the ever-present threat of violence. 

“hmm,” he murmured, his voice distant, as if speaking to himself, “let’s just say it’s like the world inside the walls, but worse. people kill people for a bite of food. you basically survive only with the people who are close to you. and trust me, it’s not a world for the easily offended…or the weak.” 

you nodded slowly, absorbing the words. you were drawn into the conversation, eager to learn more about the man beneath the stoic exterior. any glimpse into his past, any insight into his character, felt like a small victory.

“i see…” your voice filled with empathy, “what about…family or friends? if i can ask” 

levi looked out the mess hall window, the afternoon sun glinting off the glass. a sudden, unexpected lump formed in his throat, a phantom ache for two faces he'd never see again. farlan. isabel. the names were like old wounds, scarred over but still tender to the touch. he swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the tightness. 

“uhm, i did have someone i could…trust,” he managed. he kept his gaze fixed on the outside world, anything to avoid the inquisitive look in your eyes. he hated talking about the underground. it was a place of shadows and desperation, a chapter of his life he’d rather keep buried. 

you nodded, sensing his hesitation, but waiting patiently for him to continue. levi knew you were listening, genuinely interested, and a strange sense of obligation compelled him to speak.

“there were these two…friends. farlan and isabel. they were…the only ones i cared about.” the words felt heavy weighted with the years of grief and regret he'd carried. 

“farlan and isabel…” you repeated softly, testing the names on your tongue, like if you have listened of them before, for some reason. 

levi nodded, closing his eyes briefly. the memories were vivid, almost painfully so. 

“yeah, they were more than friends, really. we were…family. we'd gone through so much together down there. hunger, betrayal, the constant threat of the military police. we could trust each other blindly. that was rare in the underground. trust was a luxury no one could afford, except us.” 

he paused, his gaze drifting back to the window. the image of isabel's bright smile flashed through his mind, followed by the crushing weight of her absence. isabel would have loved her so much. he thought, thinking of you.

“we…were inseparable. we looked out for each other. we stole to survive, fought to protect ourselves. we were all we had.” 

“what happened?” you asked softly

levi gave a bitter chuckle, a harsh, humorless sound that betrayed the deep pain he carried, like yours before. he looked down, his gaze now fixed on the worn wooden floor of the mess hall, as if searching answers in the grain of the wood. 

“they died…both of them.” 

“i'm sorry…” you whispered. you could see the torment in his eyes, you could always see it, but now more than ever. a wave of empathy washed over you like a tsunami. 

it was the first time since their deaths that levi had spoken about them to anyone. the words felt rusty, unused, yet there was also a strange sense of release in finally voicing the burden he had carried for so long. 

“levi” you called his name 

he looked at you immediately 

“do you want to talk about it?” you asked with a hint of worry in your voice, thinking that maybe was enough for the day, or maybe it was better if he took it all off his chest

levi took a shuddering breath, the air catching in his throat. 

“we were trying to get to the surface, isabel was obsessed,” he began, “we heard rumours of a way out, a chance to escape the underground and see the sky. we were desperate…living down there, it was like…being buried alive. we just wanted…a chance.” he paused, the memory of their shared dream, the yearning for a life beyond the shadows.

“there was this job, this guy offered a lot of money to do it, and the possibility of living out there. he said it was easy, just a simple retrieval mission, i didn't like the idea, at first i hesitated, but we didn't have an option either.” his voice trailed off, he closed his eyes again, the image of farlan and isabel, full of hope and excitement, flashing before him. if only he had known…if only he had made a different choice.

he opened his eyes, his gaze distant, lost in memory. “the target was actually erwin. they wanted us to kill him and get some document. we didn't know much about him back then just that he was a high-ranking officer in the survey corps. the man who hired us, he told us erwin was the key to getting to the surface, that eliminating him would open up a path for us. he promised us a life above ground, a life free from the filth and the darkness.” 

levi's jaw tightened, his expression hardening. “we were naive, desperate. we believed him. we thought we were doing the right thing. for ourselves, for a chance at a better life.” he shook his head slowly, “we were wrong”

“we joined the survey corps. we were good, we were efficient. we blended in, gathered information, waited for the moment to striked.”

“then came the expedition outside the walls. it was supposed to be our opportunity. i went ahead…alone, to try and find erwin, to finish the job. i thought it would be quick, clean. i thought i could get back to farlan and isabel before anything happened.” his voice dropped to a near whisper, the memory of ensuing chaos and the sheer horror of what followed still haunting him. 

“but when i returned…it was a massacre.” his breath hitched, “the titans…they had attacked. it was carnage. i found them…” his voice cracked, the raw pain of that moment, the helplessness he felt as he saw…

“farlan. isabel. they were gone.” he couldn't bring himself to describe the details of the brutality of their deaths. the images were burned into his mind, a constant reminder of his failure.  

“i killed it, the titan. i didn't even think. i just attacked. i tore it apart, piece by piece. i didn't stop until it was nothing but a bloody mess.” his voice now low and guttural. 

“i was too late. I couldn't save them. they died…because of me. because of my stupid decision.” he looked up at you, his eyes filled with a deep, bottomless sadness. “i thought i was leading them to a better life. but i led them to their deaths.”

“and then…erwin, he saw what happened. he saw what i had done. he could have arrested me, he could have had me executed. but he didn't. he offered me a choice. join him, join the survey corps, and fight for humanity;” he sighed, “i joined because i owed them. to make their deaths mean something, even when i didn't want to”

then, he felt a warm touch on his hand. you. you had taken now his hand on yours, just as he had done for you a few minutes ago. the gesture, simple yet profound, pulled him back from the abyss of his memories. he looked up at you, his eyes still filled with pain, but now with something else too- a fragile hope, perhaps, or simply the comfort of human connection. 

your eyes were soft, filled with understanding and compassion. you squeezed his hand gently, your touch firm and reassuring. “it was not your fault, levi,” you said, your voice clear and steady. the words, though simple, carried a weight of sincerity that resonated deep within him. just like erwin's that day. 

“but i made the decision. i led them into that… i should have known better.” the guilt was a heavy burden, one he had carried for so long, and it was difficult to simply let it go. 

you shook your head gently, your grip on his hand tightening. “you were young, levi,” you said softly but convinced, “you were desperate. you wanted a better life for yourselves, for you friends. it wasn't your fault.” 

you paused, your eyes filled with unwavering conviction. “you did everything you could to protect them. you loved them. and even though…even though things ended the way they did, that doesn't erase the fact that you cared for them, that you tried your best.” 

“holding into this guilt, it won't bring them back. it won't change what happened. but it will continue to hurt you. it will keep you trapped in the past.” you squeezed his hand again, your touch conveying a message of support and understanding. “you have to let go, levi. you have to forgive yourself.” 

levi looked at you, your words slowly sinking in. he had never considered forgiving himself. the guilt had been his constant companion, a form of self-punishment for his perceived failure. but your words, your belief of his innocence, offered a different perspective. a perspective that, despite the pain and difficulty, offered a glimmer of hope. 

he looked down at their hands, his fingers intertwined with yours. the warmth of your touch, the sincerity in your eyes, it was a lifeline in the darkness. he took a deep breath, the air catching in his throat. he didn't know if he could truly forgive himself, not yet, but your words had planted a seed, like erwin did. a seed of hope, a possibility of healing. and for the first time in a long time, levi felt  something other than grief and guilt. he felt…understood. 

 levi took another breath before he continued, 

“and about my family…i don't have one, not really. my mother died when i was a kid. i grew up only with my uncle. if i'm being honest, he wasn't the greatest either. basically, i was just and extra mouth to feed. he never really cared  me,” he said quietly, still holding your hand. but a small, almost imperceptible smirk appeared on his face as he noticed something. 

“what is it?” you asked, noticing the change in his expression

“well, i find it a bit ironic,” levi said, amusement in his voice, “you told me your sad past, and here you are, trying to feel bad for mine” 

“true,” you smirked back at him, “don't get used to it, ackerman.”

a peaceful silence settled between them, a comfortable quiet that spoke of a growing understanding. after a moment, you broke the silence with a gentle question. 

“how was she, your mom?”

levi leaned back in his seat, his expression becoming more serious as the mention of his mother. the smirk vanished, replaced by a softer, more reflective look. 

“my mom was…probably the only person in my family who truly loved me. she was very kind, loving and caring. from the few memories i have of her, she was an angel.” he chuckled softly, a genuine smile touching his lips as he recalled her image. “she was very protective of me. even when she was ill, she always tried to protect me. she made sure i was always warm when it was cold and fed when i was hungry. even on her worst days, she was always worried about me. she always…did her best”

he paused, his gaze dropping to his hand, specifically to how he was holding his teacup. a faraway look in his eyes. “we always had tea together. it was my favourite part of the day, just like us now.” he paused again, a hint of sadness entering his voice. “and…well, of the cups that we used to drink tea from one of them fell from my hand and broke when she was already gone. since then, i’ve been holding my tea like this” he demonstrated, holding the cup delicately, almost as if he were afraid of breaking it again. 

you smiled at the sigh before you. you had never seen him this vulnerable, speaking so openly and lovingly about someone. it was a side of levi you hadn't expected to see. 

“what was her name?” you asked, wanting to know more about this important figure in his life

levi's smile warmed, a genuine, and never seen before fond smile that reached his eyes as he reminisced about his mom. 

“her name was kuchel,” he said softly, “my sweet, lovely mother.”

you bit your lip, a tear tracing a path down your cheek as you, too, were truck by the pang of memory, the echo of your own mother's love.

“kuchel…” you whispered, her name a soft sigh on your lips.

he squeezed your hand, his thumb gently wiping away the tear that had escaped. the simple gesture spoke volumes.

overcome by a wave of emotion, you couldn't contain yourself any longer. you leaned forward and hugged him, your arms encircling him. it was a spontaneous gesture, an outpouring of empathy and connection. 

“i know kuchel is feeling proud of her son,” you murmured into his shoulder

levi’s surprise was palpable. he stiffened as your arms encircled him, the unexpected contact a jolt of his senses. he hesitated for a moment, his mind reeling from the unfamiliarsensation. it had been so long since he had experienced such physical closeness, such open affection.

then, slowly, he returned the embrace. his own arms wrapped tightly around you, his grip firm yet gentle. a sigh, a long, drawn-out release of tension, escaped his lips as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. the sensation was both foreign and comforting, a contrast to the cold, lonely existence he had grown accustomed to. it had been years since he'd felt such a raw connection, such a genuine sense of belonging. the warmth of your embrace, the simple act of human contact, was a balm to his wouden soul. 

he closed his eyes, allowing himself to sink in the moment, to absorb the comfort you offered. the scent of your hair, the gentle rhythm of your breathing, the warmth of your body against his- it was a symphony of sensations that stirred something deep within him, something he thought long dead.

for a brief moment, the weight of the past seemed to lift, the burden of grief and guilt lessening its grip. in your embrace, levi found a fleeting sanctuary, a moment of respire from that darkness that haunted him for so long. it was a small gesture, a simple hug, but it meant more than words could ever say. it was a connection, a shared moment of humanity in a world that had tried to strip him of everything. 

as the moments passed, levi clung to you, reluctant to break the embrace. it was a new feeling, a strange combination of comfort, warmth and that sense of belonging he hadn't experienced ever. the world outside the mess hall, the sounds of the other soldiers, the weight of his responsibilities, all seemed to fade away as he focused solely on the warmth of your body pressed against his and the steady rhythm of your breath against his ear. it felt…right. 

finally, with a soft sigh, he pulled back, his hands still resting on your arms. his eyes looking into yours, his gaze intense, searching. but beneath the intensity, there was a tenderness, a vulnerability that he rarely allowed anyone to see. his calloused fingers, usually so precise and controlled, traced the delicate line of your scar, a silent promise passing between you. the touch was feather-light, almost hesitant, as if he were afraid of causing you pain, yet it held a deep depth of meaning. 

“you'll never have to be afraid again,” he murmured, a quiet vow spoken only for you. “i won't let anyone hurt you” the words were simple, yet they carried the fierceness of his protectiveness. it was a promise forged in shared pain and mutual understanding, a promise that he would guard you with his life. 

in that moment, as he gazed into your e/c eyes, levi ackerman felt something change within him. it wasn’t a sudden, dramatic explosion of emotion, but rather a slow, steady awakening, like a dormant seed finally sprouting after a long winter. 

he recognized, that he was falling, irrevocably, in love. he was irrevocably, undeniably, yours.

pt. IV

author's note: i cried writing this for real lmao. hope you guys liked it, i really liked this one. happy new year!! ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

[ackx-rman]

tea and you. levi ackerman.

pt. II

pt. I

Warnings: angst, blood, death, smut, unprotected sex, swearing, graphic scenes, idiots in love

he closed his eyes, the rough texture of the door pressing against his forehead. he listened, straining to hear any sound from your room- the rustle of fabric, a stifled sob, even the softest breath. the silence was absolute, broken only by the distant, muffled sounds of the barracks settling for the night. the air in the corridor was still and cold, clinging to him like a shroud.

after a minute that ticked by with agonizing slowness, he pulled back, the wood scraping faintly against his skin. a defeated sigh escaped his lips, a small puff of white in the frigid air. the thought of leaving you alone, consumed by whatever demons were tormenting you, was a heavy weight in his gut. he didn’t want to face the emptiness of his own quarters without first seeing the light in your eyes, without knowing you were safe, even from yourself.

on the other side of the door, you held your breath, listening until the echo of levi’s footsteps faded into the silence of the corridor. only then did you release a long, shaky sigh, the tension finally draining from your body. you moved mechanically towards the small washroom, the thought of a shower was a small comfort for all your mixed emotions of today - basically, too much emotions.

it had been a long, grueling day, and all you’d craved was the familiar ritual: a steaming cup of black tea with levi, a shared moment of quiet conversation where you could recount the day events, the small triumphs and frustrations of patrol.

as you stripped off your uniform, the sigh of a small cut on your arm brought a fresh wave of frustration. it was nothing, just a minor scrape from a skirmish with a few smaller titans - an easy fight for you, all things considered. your coat had snagged on a low-hanging branch, the twig slicing through the fabric and grazing your skin. you knew levi’s sharp eyes would immediately spot it, his brow furrowing in that familiar, almost disapproving frown of concern. with a practiced movement , you carefully draped the coat over your injured arm, the rough fabric concealing the small wound. it was a small, almost childish gesture, a way to postpone the inevitable. but a part of you wanted to show levi, to share the small details, to feel his concern, however fleeting. but she had been there, her presence a constant reminder of the boundaries you couldn’t cross.

it wasn’t as if you had any right to be jealous. you and levi were nothing more than captain and cadet, bound by duty, not affection. but the whispers, the knowing glances, the unspoken understanding that you were…his favourite. everyone knew that.

that single hour of shared tea could illuminate your entire week, month, and year.

also…how did he know? how had he sensed the hidden injury? that man possessed an uncanny sixth sense for injuries for sure.

the next morning levi dragged himself through his usual duties throughout the rest of his patrol. his mind and thoughts were completely elsewhere, the events from the other night in his mind over and over again like a broken record. but he kept pushing through, doing what he had to do, trying to finish his patrol as quickly as possible so he could return to see you. he headed straight for the mess hall the moment he returned, shedding his gear and discarding it onto the nearest table as his eyes quickly scanned around the mess hall, looking for your figure. a part of him hoped that you would have at least waited for him, like you usually did. for tea.

and there you were. your h/c was pulled back in a near braid, a single strand escaping to frame your face. a cup of tea warmed your hands, just as it always did when you waited for him.

but you weren’t alone. you were with…jean?

that morning, duty had taken you elsewhere. you found yourself in the stables, shovel in hand, alongside jean. lately, you two had become an almost inseparable pair, not out of any deep-seated desire, but thanks to hange’s chaotic scheduling. patrols, stable duty like this, even mess hall cleanup. hange seemed to keep you two tethered together. at first, it had been a source of quiet annoyance, but something had shifted, jean was not as annoying as you thought when you got to know him better. the tedious chores didn’t seem quite so soul-crushing anymore. in between the scent of hay and the occasional snort from a restless horse you found yourself laughing at jean’s dry jokes, a welcome distraction from the anxieties that had plagued you the night before.

the stable clock chimed twelve, the sound echoing through the cavernous space, and a familiar sense of urgency settled in your stomach. levi will be back soon. tea. you had to prepare tea.

you’d wavered this morning, the memory of last night was a burning ember in your chest. you’d almost convinced yourself to skip, to avoid the inevitable awkwardness. but the thought of breaking the routine, of leaving the empty space in your day, felt wrong.

maybe, just maybe, if you both acted as if nothing had transpired, if you simply followed the familiar steps of your “shared ritual”, everything could go back to the way it was. to the way it needed to be.

having finished storing the last bale of hay and giving the final horse a quick brush, you wiped your hands on your trousers and sighed. “i think that’s everything. i’m heading to the mess hall.”

jean grinned, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “tea with the captain, huh?” he leaned against a stall, crossing his arms.

you rolled your eyes, “well, yeah. it’s.. a routine. and non of your business too”

jean glanced at the clock on the stable wall, the pendulum swinging rhythmically. “well,” he said, pushing himself off the stall, “i think i’ll have another one if you’ll allow me to escort you until your…best friend arrives, m’lady” he offered a mock bow, a playful smirk playing on his lips.

levi's eyes narrowed as he instantly recognized you across the mess hall. relief washed over him- you were here, after all. but the relief quickly curdled into something far darked as he registered the scene before him. you were seated at the table you two always shared, a steaming mug in your hands, your attention focused on jean. the horse-faced idiot kid.

his jaw tightened, his hand clenching into fists at his sides, the knuckles turning white. he couldn’t hear the conversation, the din of the mess a hall a constant hum in his ears, but he didn’t need to. he could see the way you were laughing, your head thrown back. it was a laugh he hadn’t heard since…well, the last time you two had tea. the day before yesterday. it looked like a long time ago.

he took a step forward, his resolve hardening into a familiar sense of purpose. he would march over there, interrupt whatever trivial conversation you two were having, and reclaim his rightful place beside you. he didn't like seeing you with someone else, laughing so freely, smiling with that horse-faced. he should have been the one sharing tea with you, the one eliciting that genuine smile.

but as he began to stride across the mess hall, a chilling thought stopped him in his tracks. a wave of dread washed over him, making his steps falter. perhaps…perhaps you didn't want to see him. perhaps you were finding jean’s company more…enjoyable. the thought twisted his stomach into knots. he didn't want to believe it, but the evidence was right there in front of him: you, relaxed and smiling, completely absorbed in a conversation that excluded him. he paused the near entrance, his hand gripping the cool stone of a pillar for support. he hated how easily you seemed to connect with others, how comfortable you looked sharing something as simple as…tea. when you literally told him it was between you two.

levi continued to watch you from a distance, trying to get a sense of what you and him were talking about. he saw you laugh again, leaning back a little with a smile saying something to him. was that… flirting? levi clenched his jaw and felt his heart sink lower and lower. he couldn't take it for much longer. he was close to just marching over and forcibly separating the two of you. he had to keep himself from snapping. he continued watching, his jaw clenched so hard you could probably hear his teeth grinding. he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. but with every laugh, every smile you sent to that damn guy it was taking all of levi's willpower to not just walk over and drag you away from him.

finally, jean excused himself, leaving you alone at the table. a small sigh of relief escaped your lips as you took a sip of your tea, the warmth spreading through you. on the table before you sat another cup, steaming gently, the one reserved for levi.

levi breathed a silent sigh of his own. finally. he straightened his posture, smoothing down any wrinkles on his uniform, and strode towards your table. he stopped in front of you, the scent of his familiar cologne reaching you. his usual stoic mask firmly in place. he had to keep his emotions in check, to prevent the simmering annoyance from surfacing.

“may i sit?” he asked, his voice even and controlled. “i would like to…talk”

he felt his annoyance begin to dissipate as you smiled, a genuine, warm smile that reached your eyes. the familiar cheerfulness had returned to your voice, and the sound of it sent a wave of relief through him, easing the tension that had been gripping him for the past hour. god, he thought, how he'd missed that smile. his face, however, remained neutral.

he settled into the chair across from you, leaning back slightly, trying to appear nonchalant while his heart did a small, almost imperceptible leap.

“i'm sorry i kept you waiting,” he said, the words coming out more gently than he'd intended.

“oh, no, you didn't. it's fine,” you replied, picking up the cup of tea you'd saved for him, the warmth spreading through your hands. “did everything go well on patrol?”

levi nodded curtly, but his mind was elsewhere. he needed to address the elephant in the room, to understand why you'd been spending your tea time with him. a frown flickered across his face,

“why were you talking to that horse-faced idiot?” he asked, his voice carefully controlled.

you almost choked on your tea, a laugh escaping your lips.

“oh, jean? i was waiting for you, and he was just keeping me company.”

levi's eyes narrowed slightly. he didn't like that answer. not one bit.

“what were you talking about?” he pressed

“oh, you know, many things,” you replied, taking a long sip of your tea. you could feel his gaze burning into you, strangely, you knew that gaze, he was mad, for some reason, maybe bad patrol? “are you going to drink yours? you like it hot as hell, and it's going to get cold” you gestured towards his mug, a weak attempt to change the subject.

he held your gaze for a long moment, ignoring completely the cup of tea, searching for the right words. the image of jean's easy smile directed at you, the memory of your laughter, kept resurfacing, fueling a slow burn of anger again within him. the thought that jean might have been flirting…with you- he forced his gaze downwards finally at the cup of tea in front of him, offering a curt nod of thanks.

“anything specific?” he asked

“are you that interested?” you asked back

“just curious,” he said, his voice a touch sharper. “just asking,” he internally cursed himself for sounding so defensive.

he attempted a shrug, his gaze focused on you, like a compass needle drawn to the north. his eyes, sharp and focused, lingered on your face as he took a sip of his tea, the ceramic mug warm against his lips. a relentless loop played in his mind: had jean tried anything? had he crossed any lines? or, even worse, had you actually enjoyed his company? the uncertainty gnawed at him, a persistent, unpleasant feeling hard to swallow. he needed to know. he had to know.

the mess hall was quiet, the usual clatter of cutlery and boisterous conversations replaced by the gentle sounds of nature. sunlight streamed through the windows, casting long shadows across the empty tables. the air was warm and still, a peaceful counterpoint to the anxiety that had been clinging to you since the previous night. you shifted in your chair, your fingers nervously tracing the rim of your teacup. the silence stretched between you.

finally, you couldn't bear it any longer.

“also…levi,” you said, “i'm sorry for yesterday”

his gaze softened as you apologized, the tension draining from his shoulders. he'd been torturing himself with what he could have said what he should have done.

“you don't need to be,” he said, his voice low and sincere, “it’s me who should apologize. i…never meant for you to feel like that” he met your gaze, his eyes searching yours.

you looked back at him, surprise evident in your eyes. it was clear you hadn't expected him to apologize, especially considering he'd done nothing wrong.

“no, no, i shouldn't- look,” you sighed, your voice laced with frustration and self-deprecation. “i was being an idiot. you can talk to whoever you want- i'm just…sorry”

the word “idiot” grated on levi's ears, a harsh sound that made a frown come to his face again. he hated hearing you talk about yourself that way, as if you were somehow less that deserving of respect and understanding. he wanted to shake you, to make yourself as he saw you: strong, capable, and worthy of all the good things in the world.

“no, don't call yourself that. you’re not an idiot” he met your gaze again, his eyes holding a sincerity that made your heart flutter. “you're allowed to feel what you feel. it's valid. and you weren't wrong. there's nothing to be sorry for, believe me”

a soft smile touched your lips, a genuine expression of gratitude. he always knew the right words, the precise phrases that could soothe your insecurities and ease your troubled mind.

“thank you,” you murmured, the words laced with warmth.

“you don’t have to thank me,” he murmured back, the words almost automatic

he leaned forward in his chair, the movement subtle but deliberate, closing the small distance between you. his gaze intensified, his eyes boring into yours with a focus that made you shift uncomfortably. he hesitated for a moment, gathering his thoughts.

“i do have a question, though…can i?”

you nodded slowly, your fingers tightening around your teacup, seeking the warmth it provided.

levi took a moment. gathering his thoughts before he spoke again. his voice was quiet, almost hesitant even.

“jean. was he…hm, flirty with you?” levi asked, his eyes narrowing slightly as he watched your reaction.

you laughed, a carefree sound that grated on levis nerves. “well, yes. you know how jean is. gosh, he's so…so…” you trailed off, searching for the right word, unaware of the storm brewing inside levi.

his jaw clenched involuntary for the fifth time today as your casual information. a wave of anger washed over him, hot and sharp. jealousy. a feeling he had never experienced before, twisted in his gut. he could practically picture the scene: jean, with his usual smarmy grin, shamelessly flirting, making you laugh and smile. probably making some ridiculous comment about your appearance. how could anyone not be drawn to you? you were…completely out of this world. breathtaking. the thought sent a jolt of possessiveness through him. he took a steadying breath.

“did you…like it?” levi asked, the question barely above a whisper, his eyes fixed on your face, searching for any hint of an answer he didn't want to see.

you tilted your head, a playful glint in your eyes. why was he asking these questions? you wondered, a small smile playing on your lips. was this some sort of test? some elaborate scheme concocted by erwin or hange? whatever it was, you decided to play along, a spark of mischief growing in you.

“well,” you began, drawing out the word, “we've had this…game, since we joined the scouts and since i'm older than him it was funny. and since hange seems determined to keep us glued together lately…” you paused, tapping a finger thoughtfully against your chin. “he's a jerk obviously,” you paused again, letting the silence hang in the air for a moment longer. “but we don't have anything serious. if that's what you're asking…at least, not yet.” you met levis gaze, your smile widening slightly. you didn't actually like jean, of course not. but there was no harm in seeing levi's reaction, was there?

“yet.” the word hung in the air between you. the image of you and jean together, not just as comrades but as something more, sent a shiver of unsease down his spine. he did his best to keep his expression neutral, but the tension radiating from him was palpable.

“and how do you feel about him?” he asked, emphasizing the pronoun, his voice carefully neutral.

“uhm…” you paused, tapping a finger thoughtfully against your teacup. you didn't want to give him a definitive “no” just yet. it was too much fun watching his reaction. if only he knew…you thought, a small smile playing on your lips.

he watched you closely, seeing how suddenly you got quieter, clearly avoiding his gaze. his heart beat faster in his chest as he waited for your answer. he tried to hide his emotions but his mind was shouting at his heart telling him that you were actually having feelings for that bastard.

“i actually like someone else so…” you blurted quickly, how had a casual conversation but jean had turned into this?

oh, but he was stunned. he hadn’t expected that, his heart leaped in his chest, a sudden, jarring thump that sent a wave of heat through his body. he felt his breath catch in his throat, his palms suddenly clammy. please, please, let it be me. the silent plea echoed in his mind, a desperate mantra. he hated this feeling, this vulnerability, this desperate longing for your affection. it was unlike him, completely at odds with his usual composure.

but you…you were different. you were an exception to every rule he'd ever lived by. but when has anything “normal” ever happened between the two of you? you were an anomaly, a breath of fresh air in his otherwise rigid world. you were…perfect, in your own unique way.

“you like someone else?” he managed to ask

you nodded, offering no further explanation.

a small spark of hope ignited within levi, spreading through him like wildfire. it was a fragile ember, easily extinguished, but it was there nonetheless. he still needed to hear it, though. he needed the confirmation, the reassurance that his hopes weren't misplaced. “who do you like, then?” his voice betrays him with a hint of underlying tension.

“levi!” you exclaimed, a playful laugh escaping your lips, your hand instinctively going to your chest, as if to shield your heart. “i can't say that. it's a secret.” you tried to brush off the moment with a playful tone.

a sharp pang of disappointment pierced through levi's hope. he desperately wanted to hear you say his name, to have his suspicions confirmed, to finally know, without a doubt, that your feelings mirrored his own. the frustration simmered beneath his carefully controlled exterior.

“what do you mean you can't say it?” he asked, his voice laced with a hint of impatiente. “it's just a name, y/n. we're not teenagers.” he shrugged trying to dismiss the importance of the question, but his eyes remained fixed on you, searching for any flicker of a clue.

you laughed, a light, teasing sound. he looked almost boyish in his frustration, a rare and endearing sight. he really looks like a teenager right now, a smile playing on your lips again. but then again, this was levi ackerman, the captain of the survey corps. even seasoned veterans could feel like nervous recruits in his presence.

his annoyance intensified. why were you being so evasive? why were you treating this like a game? he'd just learned that you didn't reciprocate jean's affections, and that you harbored feelings for someone. but your playful teasing was threatening to extinguish it. he could barely contain his impatience, the urge to demand the answer bubbling just beneath the surface.

“why are you laughing?” he asked, his voice tight.

“it's funny,” you replied, your smile widening. you decided to turn the tables, to see how he handled the pressure.

“what about you, levi ackerman, the captain of the survey corps, the man everyone thinks is incapable of feeling anything? do you like someone?” you raised an eyebrow, challenging him with you gaze.

the table had turned completely. he hadn't anticipated such a direct counter-attack. a faint blush crept up levi's neck, staining his pale skin a delicate shade of pink. he quickly averted his gaze, focusing on the swirling tea in his cup, a mumbled response escaping his lips. “you're on to talk,” he muttered, his voice strained, “you didn't answer my goddamn question”

“hey!” you exclaimed, your smirk playful and teasing. you pointed a finger at him, your eyes sparkling with amusement. “that's not fair, you know”

levi rolled his eyes, a small smile tugging at his lips despite his best efforts. you were deliberately avoiding the question, and it was driving him crazy. but the way you were doing it, with that playful smirk and that little gesture, was utterly disarming. he couldn't help but be charmed, even as he fought against it. this wasn't how this was supposed to go at all, he thought.

“don't use that bullshit on me. answer the question”

“i guess we’ll never know then”

he let out a low growl. why were you acting so calm and annoying, just sitting there sipping that goddamned tea with a little smirk on your face.

“damn it. stop being such a smartass”

you winked at him. you loved teasing levi; there was something undeniably satisfying about riling up the usually impassive captain. besides, weren't the grumpiest people the easiest to tease? it was a proven fact, try it, its fun.

you glanced at the clock on the wall and stood up, you still had a smile on your lips. you were running late for patrol.

“i have to go,” you announced, your tone light and airy. “duty calls”

levi's heart plummeted as you stood up, the chair scraping against the floor. he felt a sudden, almost desperate urge to reach out and stop you. he hadn't gotten his answer, and the thought of you leaving, or remaining in this state of agonizing uncertainty, was unacceptable.

“wait a second,” levi said, a warning in his tone. “we're not done yet”

“i think we are, cap,” you replied, a nervous laugh scaping your lips

the crape of levi's chair against the floor echoed through the now empty mess hall as he stood, his figure looming over you. he crossed his arms over his chest. “no, we're not,” he repeated, his voice firm. “you're not leaving until you answer.”

“why do you care so much?” your fingers fumbling with the buttons of your jacket. a blush warmed your cheeks, betraying your carefully constructed facade of indifference. “it's just a man.”

the captain clenched his fists. a vein throbbed in his temple. his patience, already stretched thin, had finally snapped. you were seriously starting to tick him off. each evasive answer was a tiny pinprick, inflating a balloon of frustration within him, threatening to burst. but beneath the anger, a deeper, more vulnerable emotion layed. why did he care so much. you were killing him, slowly, since he met you.

he just wanted to know who held your attention, to put his heart at ease. it was a selfish desire, he knew, but he couldn't help. the thought of you with someone else twisted in his gut like a knife. but he couldn't admit that to you, couldn’t reveal the raw vulnerability that lay beneath his gruff exterior. so he scowled at you.

“stop being stubborn and just answer. who is it?”

you shifted your weight nervously, glancing towards the door. “i really have to go,” you said, your voice a little breathless, “but if you tell me first, i'll tell you, deal?” a small, almost desperate part of you hoped this would finally bring some clarity. it was a risky gamble, but you reasoned that however bad this could be, at least you wouldn’t get your hopes up for someone who didn't reciprocate your feelings. at least, this would finally end the agonizing uncertainty.

you could hear him groan softly, a low rumble of frustration that vibrated in the air between you. he ran a hand through his hair, his fingers tangling in his thin strands. he was trapped.

“tsk,” he clicked his tongue against his teeth, his mind instantly making a decision. his gaze locks onto yours, piercing, searching, lingering on the soft color of your e/c eyes.

“fine. deal”

levi's heart was right now a rollercoaster, his now insistent rhythm against his ribs s he accepted your deal. he swallowed hard, the simple act suddenly feeling monumental. those constructing walls around his heart that had protected him from the vulnerability of exposure now were crumbling, brick by brick.

“i like someone,” he said, the words coming out rougher than expected. he kept his gaze now fixed on a point just over your shoulder, unable to meet your eyes, afraid of what he might see reflected there.

you gasped, a sharp intake of breath so loud and sudden that it echoed in the relative quiet of the room. i was the kind of gasp that could probably have been heard all the way down the hall, maybe even reaching hange's ever-attentive ears.

a shiver ran down levi’s spine.

hange and gossip were a volatile combination, a force of nature that could unleash a whirlwind of speculation and teasing. the thought sent a fresh wave of anxiety through him. now you're doomed forever, a small, panicked voice whispered in his mind, because we all know how hange is with gossip.

“are you for real?!” you exclaimed, your voice laced with disbelief. your eyes were wide.

he couldn't help but roll his eyes. why was that so surprising? had he been so successful in concealing his feelings that the mere suggestion of him having them was enough to elicit such a dramatic reaction? he wanted to be like that with others, but not with you.

“of course i'm for real,” he retorted, “do i look like a liar?”

you giggled by his reaction, his ass always so dramatic you couldn't help but chuckle. “okay now that's interesting wh-” when you were finishing the sentence you heard jean calling your name.

of course it was jean. levi clenched his jaw to keep himself from saying anything, but he felt his eye twitch as he saw the smile that appeared on your face. you were looking forward to going on patrol with jean.

“i have to go, but i'll see you tomorrow?” you stated as you were walking already to the main door. he nodded curtly at you, still annoyed that your attention was being directed to horse-faced and not him. but he tried not to let the irritation show too much as he spoke. “yeah sure. i'll see you tomorrow.”

he watched you walk away with jean, he had to admit the sight of the two of you together made his heart ache. as much as he hated jean, the fact that you spent time with him made something inside him twist unpleasantly. he turned around and stormed out of the mess hall, walking with quick, angry strides as he headed back towards his quarters. he felt frustrated and annoyed, not even sure what to do with these feelings inside him. all he knew was that he didn't like seeing you with jean. or with anyone. not at all.

pt III

author's note: okay so i'm not really really happy with this chapter but it's going to get better, this trasition was needed. but i hope you guys are as excited as i am. sorry for not posting these days, holidays and spending time with family are getting my time from writting. hope you guys are having a good time these weeks wheter you celebrate it or not ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

[ackx-rman]

happy bday to my husband💖

[ackx-rman]

tea and you. levi ackerman.

pt. I

Warnings: angst, blood, death, smut, unprotected sex, swearing, graphic scenes, idiots in love

levi, a fixture by the barracks entrance, shifted his weight from foot to foot, the cold seeping through the soles of his worn boots. the biting wind whipped at his cloak, carrying the faint scent of woodsmoke from the distant cookfires. a steaming cup of black tea, its smoky aroma a stark contrast to the frigid air, warmed his numb fingers. he periodically glanced down the path, his grey eyes scanning the deepening twilight for your return from patrol. 

his anticipation, however, was abruptly interrupted. cadet elara müller, her face flushed crimson from the cold, emerged from the shadows cast by the looming barracks wall. her voice washed over him in a relentless tide. 

“captain levi, i was wondering about…the maneuver during patrol today…” 

levi’s brow furrowed slightly, a subtle sign of his growing impatience. he offered short, “polite” responses, his gaze drifting back to the path every few seconds. 

lost in the labyrinth of short responses. levi nearly missed your arrival. almost. the tension on his shoulders eased the moment he caught sight of your figure emerging from the treeline, the faint moonlight glinting off your sword hilt. he walked towards you, not even saying goodbye to the woman, the steam from his cup trailing behind him like a small dissipation cloud. 

“long patrol?” he asked you, his gaze searching your face for any sign or injury or exhaustion

you glanced at the woman standing behind levi, her arms crossed and a thin smile plastered on her face. her eyes, sharp and assessing, flicked from the caked your boots to the grime on your cheek, a flicker of disaster crossing her features before settling on the insignia on your shoulder. you knew her, of course - cadet müller, always vying for levi’s attention during training - but it was odd seeing her in such close proximity to him outside of drills. her gaze seemed to hold a dozen tiny devils, each intent on driving you away so she could resume whatever one-sided conversation she’d been having with the captain. “y/n,” she injected, her voice smooth as silk, but with a definitive undercurrent, “i was just asking captain levi about the optimal blade angle for disarming a larger opponent. such fascinating insights.”

a hint of a smirk played on her lips, and you sensed a familiar undercurrent of competitiveness - one that had been simmering since the last sparring session. you shift your weight, feeling a prickle of annoyance. “uhm, if you’re busy i can go to my room, i have to take a shower anyway,” you said, meeting müller’s gaze directly. let her have him, you thought, i’m not going to play this game

“no, no, im not busy.” levi replied, his brow furrowing as he shot a quick, almost apologetic glance in your direction. he waved his hand dismissively in müller’s direction. “she was just…talking my head off, that’s all.” he didn’t want you to think he was busy - no. that he was too busy to talk to you. the thought was abhorrent. he subtly shifted closer to you, putting a definite distance between himself and the cadet. 

your gaze darted between levi and the woman. she leaned against the barracks wall, arms crossed, one hip cocked in a pose that spoke of practiced nonchalance. her dark hair, usually bound tightly for training, was partially loose, framing a face that could indeed grace the pages of those fashion magazines you sometimes pilfered back home. a faint smile played on her lips, but her eyes - sharp and assessing - held a clear challenge, a silent dare for you to retreat. 

she was undeniably striking, her figure slender and poised in a way that made you suddenly acutely aware of the dust and grime clinging to your uniform. you were five years younger than levi - a fact that felt pronounced at this moment since müller and levi were the same age, and of course, he was your captain. why are you thinking about this now?

everyone told you you were beautiful, -your mother when she was alive, your friends, even the occasional drunken recruit- but their words always felt hollow, bouncin off a core of self-doubt you’d carried since childhood. men will compliment anything, you thought bitterly, the old insecurity rising to the surface. even a sack of potatoes if it only wore a bra. 

you were called the “strongest woman” but in this case, you felt tiny, tiny compared to the woman behind your captain.  

müller’s gaze flicked to levi, a subtle but possessive glance that seemed to say, he’s mine. you felt a pang of something akin to defeat. there was no point in competing. 

“it’s fine, levi. i should just go,” you said, forcing a smile that felt brittle and thin. you avoided looking at müller, focusing instead on a loose thread on levi’s sleeve. 

“no.” 

levi's voice was firm, as always. he reached out, his fingers closing around your wrist with a surprising firmness that made your breath catch. he couldn’t let you go. not now. not after…he finally had you here. it was a moment you two shared. a need, raw and undeniable, pulsed through him - the need of your presence, the simple, desperate need to have you here. “stay,” he said, his voice softening just slightly, but the command was still clear. 

“i want you to stay” 

cadet müller hadn’t moved. if anything, the possessive gesture - levi’s hand on your wrist, a touch he rarely offered anyone, to be honest, no other person- seemed to have ignited a fire in her eyes. her jaw tightened, and the thin smile vanished, replaced by a hard line.

those looks…those were the looks you’d seen him give you before, fleeting but unmistakable. a warmth spread through you, a fragile bloom of hope amidst the tension. but it was quickly overshadowed by the weight of müller’s gaze, which felt like physical pressure. the air crackled between you three.

“please,” levi added, his voice dropping to a near whisper. his gaze, his grey beautiful eyes, usually so steely and controlled, held a flicker of something that looked almost like…pleading. he glanced over his shoulder at müller, annoyance crossing his features before he turned back to you. he sighed, and his grip on you loosened, his hand sliding down to intertwined his fingers with yours. the contact was warm, grounding, a silent reassurance in the face of the other woman’s unwavering stare.

“okay…” you mumbled. you knew arguing with levi was futile, a lesson learned long ago. besides, a small, traitorous part of you admitted that you didn’t want to be anywhere else. you’d seen the way he’d looked at müller - like everybody else. It was the way he looked at you that mattered. 

levi nodded. he didn’t want another second of his stolen time with you to be tainted by her intrusion. with a gentle tug on your hand - a silent invitation - he led you down the deserted corridor that runs alongside the barracks. the only sound was the soft echo of your footsteps on the wooden floor. 

once you were both enveloped by the deep shadows, safely hidden from prying eyes, levi finally released your hand. the contact had been brief, but left a lingering warmth on your skin. 

he didn’t want to let go. the memory of your touch, the feeling of your smaller hand in his, was a sharp, almost painful reminder of what he desired. for some reason, being close to you. he leaned back against the cool stone wall, exhaling slowly, his gaze drifting across your face. the dim light cast long, dancing shadows that accentuated the soft curve of your cheek and the slight furrow of your brow. 

he took another deep breath, suddenly self-conscious about the intensity of his earlier action, he looked far away from you. 

“how…how was the patrol?” levi asked, the earlier tension replaced by a gentle concern.

“uhm…it was fine, just tired,” you replied, the words falling flat. the usual spark in your voice, the playful sarcasm that levi had come to - secretly - cherish, was absent. 

levi’s brow furrowed, a crease forming between his sharp grey eyes. he tilted his head, studying you with an intensity that made you want to squirm. he’d grown accustomed to your vibrant energy, the way your presence could light up even the dreariest of days. this subdued version of you was unsettling.

“you seem more than just tired,” he noted. he stepped a little closer, his gaze searching your face in the dim light, as if trying to decipher some hidden message.

“it’s fine, really. just tired…” you repeated. you dropped your gaze to the rough wooden floor, your arms instinctively wrapping around yourself in a gesture of self-protection. just tired. the oldest excuse in the book. you could practically hear your own mother's voice echoing in your head: “if you don’t want to talk about it, just say you’re tired.”  the irony wasn’t lost on you. 

levi's gaze followed the movement of your arm and his frown darkened. he stood up a little straighter and took a step closer to you. 

“are you injured?” his eyes quickly took in your frame, looking for any sign of a wound. a habit he'd picked up from having to patch up his squad-mates so many times. he was looking for any sign of a tear in your uniform, a flinch, a wince - anything that would betray a hidden wound.

“oh no, sorry, no, no…i'm fine…eh, uhm, what about you?” you stammered, the nervous energy radiating off you in palpable waves.

levi's frown didn't ease. he wasn’t buying it. he knew you. knew your stubbornness, your tendency to downplay pain. he had a sinking feeling that if you were hiding something, he’d have to pry it out of you. 

“bullshit” he muttered his breath. he took another step closer, his usually cold eyes searching your face as he stopped right in front of you. he could see a little clearer in the shadows now. 

“what?” you asked, tilting your head meeting his gaze. a genuine confusion crossed your features, mixed with a growing sense of unease. okay, yes, maybe you weren’t acting like your usual self. but the situation with müller ten minutes ago had been…unsettling, to say the least. this, however, was escalating from uncomfortable to downright perplexing.

levi's brow furrowed again as he tried to deduce just what was wrong. he could tell you were trying to downplay it. his eyes scanned your face again, reading your expression while he spoke with a steady tone. 

“don't lie.” he said, the words low and even, carrying a weight of authority that brooked no argument. he paused, a silent plea for honesty. “what’s wrong? i can tell” 

“i’m sorry, i’m being a little…idiotic right now. it’s just-” you cut yourself off, your words trailing into silence. what are you going to tell him? the truth felt absurd, vulnerable. that you’d felt a sharp pang of jealousy watching him with müller? that a ridiculous, nagging voice in the back of your mind whispered you’d never be enough for him?

“nothing,” you mumbled, attempting a nonchalant shrug that fell flat

“no, don’t bullshit me, what’s wrong?”

the dam finally broke. “can you believe i was…a little hurt…that i saw you with that woman, having tea? instead of…me?” you rushed the words out, the confession tumbling from your lips in a nervous rush. “like, who am i to feel that way? it’s stupid. but since you and i, you know its our thing i- i’m sorry” a nervous laugh escaped you, but it sounded strained. even in the dim light of the hallway, the heat rising in your cheeks, your face burning like a furnace. you couldn’t help it. better to face the awkwardness head-on than try to deceive levi. he saw through your lies far too easily. 

he hadn’t been expecting that. jealousy? the realization hit him like a physical blow. you were…jealous. of him. talking to müller. he hadn’t considered that you would even notice, let alone care. a wave of guilt washed over him, sharp and immediate. the thought of causing you any pain, even unintentionally, was unbearable. 

he took a moment to study your face. the faint blush staining your cheeks made his heart clench in his chest. it was a vulnerable, endearing sight.

“i…” he hesitated, the words catching in his throat. a rare fluster, an unfamiliar tightness in his chest, held him captive. he wanted to say so much. to reassure that müller meant nothing to him. that his thoughts were consumed by you, every damn minute of every damn day. that the conversation with that woman had been nothing than a brief, unavoidable social obligation - a charade he rarely engaged in. but the words, usually so readily available when delivering orders or reprimands, refused to form. they were trapped behind a wall of ingrained stoicism and a sudden, overwhelming fear of vulnerability. instead, he did the only thing he could think of. he closed the remaining distance between you, reaching out to gently take your hand in his. his fingers intertwined with yours, a silent promise, a wordless apology. 

“you don’t have to say anything. i’m sorry for acting like that. i should just go,” you mumbled, pulling away from him and turning abruptly. the words tumbled out in a rused, breathless apology, your cheeks burning with shame. without giving him a chance to respond, you fled, disappearing down the corridor in a blur of motion. running away - it was the only logical course of action, wasn’t it? the only way to escape the crushing weight of embarrassment. 

“wait-” levi cursed under his breath, his voice catching in his throat as he watched you vanish. the suddenness of your departure left him momentarily stunned, a knot of anxiety tightening in his chest. he stood frozen of a heartbeat, his mind reeling, trying to process the whirlwind of emotions that had just passed between you. 

then, with a surge of determination, he was moving, his long strides eating up the distance as he took off after you. there was no way he was letting you run. he wouldn’t let you stew in your self-doubt, wouldn’t let you believe you’d made a fool of yourself. he needed to talk to you. 

he rounded the corner at a run, his boots echoing sharply, and continued down the next corridor. he knew your usual route back to your room by heart - every twist and turn, every shadowed alcove. he just hoped he wasn’t too late. he pictured you locking your door, retreating behind its solid buried, and a surge of frustration propelled him forward. he wouldn’t let you shut him out. not this time. he lengthened his stride. 

but, oh, it was too late. you were already in your room, the door slammed shut behind you, the lock clicking into place with a decisive finality. you’d collapsed into a tight ball, your back pressed against the cool wood of the door as if it could somehow shield you from your own thoughts. you felt like the biggest fool in the world, the heat still burning in your cheeks. overthinkin - it was your specialty, your own personal form of self-torture.

levi stood outside your door, his hand raised to knock, then hesitating. the silence from inside confirmed that: you’d locked yourself in. a sigh escaped his lips. he ached to know what you were thinking, to reassure you, to erase the doubt that had clouded your eyes. a part of him - that fierce, and protective part - urged him to simply force the door open. but he resisted. he couldn’t cross that line. not with you. instead, he leaned his forehead against the cool wood of the door, closing his eyes for a moment. his voice was low, a whisper.

“please, come out”

pt II

Author’s note: hello guuuys!! first fic of leviiii i'm SO excited for this one, i have already all the parts done and written, and when i tell you its gonna be LONG. but i hope you guys like it. let me know. ANYWAYS TSYM GUYS FOR READING. LOVE U ALL. ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡