acnhconfessions

[acnhconfessions]

Happy December! I think that whenever Redd shows up on his boat and Nook gets pissed off about it Sable is jealous. She knows about their baggage.

[acnhconfessions]

pocket camp complete goals:

get my campsite lookin good

plant all the flowers

clap filbert's cheeks in front of the other villagers

finally do stuff with the treasure hunt :)

[acnhconfessions]

i could bring the dodos back from extinction after what i wanna do with wilbur and orville

[acnhconfessions]

Submission from poke-crossing moon: (incorrect animal crossing quotes by me)

marshal: take me to art museums and make out with me

raymond: but they said not to touch the masterpieces

marshal: well somebody’s gotta pin the artwork to the wall

blathers: this is blathers, those idiots are fucking in the east wing again

—-

tom nook: isabelle, i can explain

isabelle: you’re making 500,000 bells and only giving me 240,000?!

timmy: 240,000? i’m only getting 10,000 bells

tommy: ….10,000 bells

scoot: you guys are getting paid?

—-

apollo: from now on, we’re using code names. you can address me as ‘eagle one’. whitney, code name: been there done that. cherry, code name: currently doing that. rosie, code name: happened once in a dream. filbert, code name: if i had to pick a guy. quinn is, 'eagle two’

quinn: oh thank god.

—-

[acnhconfessions]

every day i whip out my switch on the carpool to work just to jack it to filbert. every day i wanna fuck that little blue squirrel and bust fat loads in him until he lookin like a krispy kreme donut. yall basic bitches can keep your ankha and isabelle, all i need is that squirrelussy. not only are squirrels at the perfect dick sucking height, but filbert is also lazy which means he can take it every day and night.

[acnhconfessions]

🇺🇸🦅ITS ERECTION DAY🌭🗓️ 🖊️IN THE UNITED✨ SLAY-TES 🇺🇸⭐️ WILL YOU🫵🏼BE SERVING🫡💁🏻‍♀️YOUR CIVIC BOOTY🍑👅BY CASTING🎣 😩YOUR ✅VOTE 🗳️😏IN HER BALLOT📥 BOX👅👀 WILL SHE🫣GO BALLZ 😈🏉TO THE WALLZ 😼😮OR WILL SHE J 🧎🏼‍♀️🫦ON YOUR D 🫢🥵TILL YOU VANCE ✊🏼💦THIS NOVEMBER 5️⃣TH WE CELEBRATE 🍾OUR RIGHT 🤤TO STAR 🌠SPANK 👋🏼AND BANG 💥HER 🫨IN THE LAND 🏔️OF THE FREAK 😛🔥AND THE HOME 🏠OF THE GAYS 🏳️‍🌈 LIKE THE 🐱CUNTSTITUTION 📜SAYS IN 🕊️🙏🏼GOD WE THRUST 👉🏼👌🏼 SEND 📫➡️THIS TO ALL 🔄YOUR KAMALATOES🐫🦶 IF YOU GET 1️⃣0️⃣ BACK YOURE A 💫🇺🇸NATIONAL TREASURE 🇺🇸👑IF YOU GET LESS ⬇️THAN 5️⃣ YOURE A 🤡😵DONALD FRUMP🎺👎🏼

[acnhconfessions]

filbert and frita would drive a hot dog shaped car through tom nook's office

[acnhconfessions]

villagers from each species who would win no nut november:

alligator/crocodile: del

anteater: olaf

bear: curt

bear cub: barold

bird: jacques

bull: coach

cat: stinky

chicken: benedict

deer: bam

dog: shep

duck: scoot (the overall winner)

eagle: frank

elephant: tucker

frog: croque

goat: kidd

gorilla: hans

hamster: graham

hippo: harry

horse: colton

kangaroo: walt

koala: gonzo

lion: lionel

monkey: flip

mouse: moose

octopus: inkwell

ostrich: phil

penguin: roald

pig: rasher

rabbit: toby

rhino: tank

sheep: dom

squirrel: sheldon

tiger: rolf

wolf: chief

[acnhconfessions]

We NEED dinosaur villagers

[acnhconfessions]

We were robbed of celeste's constellation function in all the later games :( like okay. She runs the top floor in new leaf. Gets to see her brother. Okay.

Now in horizons she doesn't even have a job? Girl is just walking around? Someone help her 😭

[acnhconfessions]

I've been modding my new leaf save to get my dreamies but it's caused a glitch where all my snooty villagers (Portia and Ankha) he/him Katt 😭 Just decided to roll with it and headcanon her as bigender, woe she/him pronouns be upon ye

[acnhconfessions]

We don't talk enough about how weird leopold's ac:hhp request is

[acnhconfessions]

This blog has really opened my eyes to how horny people are for animal crossing villagers. But seriously, apollo? Out of everyone? I feel like there's such better candidates

[acnhconfessions]

WHY IS SOMEONES CONFESSION TO REMOVE VILLAGERS???

Counterpoint add more, add previously removed ones, add moth villagers, add bat villagers, add villagers based on special npc species

[acnhconfessions]

Heyyy hope everyone's had a fabulous 2025 so far. Sorry for going missing in action, my past few months have been hella hectic and chaotic but I'm back & ready to sort through whatever confessions/apollo smut have accumulated in my inbox ♡

[acnhconfessions]

update on the butch saga he walked INTO MY HOUSE so that he could give me a PET FOOD BOWL. it feels like im making it up but this game gave me a petplay daddy and im so into it

-butch's pup

[acnhconfessions]

villager personalities and how they get off:

smug: candlelit bubble bath, glass of wine on the counter and tasteful pinups next to the good lotion

sisterly: kickstart their hitachi wands, open the olive oil, and go on ao3

cranky: 2am, bored, whip out an old mag/vcr tapes and spit on their hands before going to town

snooty: candles, silk sheets, incense and expensive lube that smells good, also fancy themed vibrators. material of choice: tasteful erotica novels

jock: somehow make it into a 17-step workout, spit or sweat. material of choice: pictures of each other

peppy: start by writing on ao3, send their fics to the sisterlies, pics to the other villager personalities, all about the rabbit vibrators

lazy: classic tissues/lotions, on the couch, DON'T LOOK UP THEIR SEARCH HISTORY (especially u, filbert)

normal: one round before bed, just fingering, fantasizes for themselves, always clean up afterwards

I think it's beautiful that you put more effort into this than I did for my college thesis.