actliving - Tumblr blog

[actliving]

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[-327] i stopped wishing

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the duality of my unposted hcs.

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Art by Borja Fresco Costal (Nekro)

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i’ve been lonely from the start

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who is your least favorite person and why is it me? 🤗

﹣﹣  ·    𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦 & 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠   ·   //    ❖    @crushng  ❖    accepting    

         ❛❛       𝐈'𝐌 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐘 𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍.      ❜❜         

[actliving]

Which of the twins is your favorite?

﹣﹣  ·    𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦 & 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠   ·   //    ❖    anonymous   ❖    accepting    

❛❛ 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐒. Other than a shared birth date and a penchant for seeking 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 the two don't actually have that much in common.

... As a matter of fact, they were always fighting about something or other, though they'd have you believe otherwise. ❜❜

[actliving]

you  should  ask  marcus  questions  about  ppl  he  knows  bc  he’s  in  a  mood  to  wax  nostalgic    (&  talk  shit)

[actliving]

I just wanna say your blog is incredible!! All your headcanons are so intricately thought out and I love them so much. Keep up the good work!! — 🎭

﹣﹣  ·    𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑒𝑜𝑢𝑠   ·   //    ❖    anyonymous  ❖    accepting      

i apologize for how long this ask has languished in my drafts; i never know how to respond to the kind words of others in a way that's not either excessively grandiose or utterly self deprecating. i do appreciate it, though. the actor's overall story captures my interest ﹠ i try to do him justice, particularly in the areas where i think the community sleeps on his psychological complexity ﹠ general motivations as a character.

overall i'm very glad you like him, ﹠ i hope you enjoy your stay here lil 🎭 anon.

[actliving]

@yournameinlights —

no. no no no no. absolutely not. no no no. no! not even a little bit! no! insistent knock upon the door. again. maybe if Mark is very quiet, it’ll go away.

it doesn’t. his heart’s thumping in his chest in time with the pounding outside his office. where the fuck is security?? Mark ducks under his desk and, as an afterthought, wheels his chair in front of him as a makeshift barricade. you know, as if that matters at all!

﹣﹣  ·    𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑒𝑜𝑢𝑠   ·   //    ❖    @yournameinlights  ❖    accepting      

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆, men  find  it  prudent  to  lock  their  doors. but to cower is nothing but an admission of guilt. i suppressed a sigh at the developer's lack of hospitality, ( as well as the audible clamor coming from within his office ).

❛❛ I'm not going to hurt you. ❜❜ i said, as if that mattered at all. fear is an irrational but powerful motivator, ﹠ the edge in my voice exposed my already dwindling patience. i rapped on the door one more time for good measure -- ﹠ not finding an answer gripped the knob firmly with one hand ﹠ brought my fist down with the other. the pop of metal coupled with that of the bones in my wrist was sickening, but it served its purpose.

the door opened, ﹠ i stepped into the darkened office to a man hiding beneath his desk like a cowering child. i locked eyes with him tiredly, still rubbing the pins ﹠ needles from my hand.

[actliving]

i  think  one  thing  that  the  fandom  gets  wrong  about  the  actor  is  that  his  desire  for  retribution  is  justified.    i’ve  seen  it  recently  pointed  out  that  the  cast  of  wkm  did  not  hate  him  pre  his  subsequent  betrayal    &    of  course  they  didn’t.    as  far  as  the  lore  is  presented  they  have  all  benefited  immensely  from  their  relationship  with  the  actor  with  little  by  the  way  of  consequences  for  either  their  amassed  ‘debts’  or  various  social  duplicities. 

the  actor  is  an  asshole,    &    i  acknowledge  this  in  my  interpretation  of  his  character,    but  aside  this  general  faux  pas,    he  hadn’t  yet  behaved  in  a  way  that  was  unreasonably  cruel  or  immoral  towards  them.    on  the  other  hand,    by  the  time  wkm  rolled  around  the  actor  would  have  been  justified  in  wanting  absolutely  nothing  to  do  with  them  ever  again,    &    in  a  sense  through  their  mannerisms  they  all  seem  to  acknowledge  that    (william  hesitating  by  the  door,    damien  stating  doubts  towards  the  nature  of  the  party  itself,    etc.).    

any  resentment  he  felt  however  was  amplified  supernaturally  by  the  entity’s  presence    &    emotionally  by  virtue  of  misplaced  anger  at  the  entity  itself.    similar  to  how  an  abused  child  might  displace  the  anger  they  feel  towards  a  parent  onto  other  children  who  seem  far  less  futile  outlets  for  their  suppressed  aggression    (in  my  hcs  marcus  was  also  guilty  of  this)    the  actor’s  helplessness  against  his  haunting  resulted  in  the  cliché    “hurt  people  hurt  people”    mentality  towards  many,    not  just  the  people  he  loved  most.

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so  ...    anyway

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⚔️ — no. better luck next time!

💉 — you bled out after being stabbed by the killer ): rip

🪓 — congrats. you’re the final girl!

🔪 — the killer gutted you like a fish

⛓️ — you’re the killer and you killed everyone :) congrats?

�� — you survived but the killer has driven you to insanity

[actliving]

but he’s a hero, you know. the strong kind, the hold-up-the-sky kind, the too-good-for-this-world kind. he’s a hero, and he doesn’t deserve this. 

because he is kind, too-good-for-this-world kind, and i think that’s what makes him a hero. his heart is too big, and he carries it in his hands and i think it’s as heavy as the sky anyway and even if atlas was never a hero, he is. 

and he’s a hero, and he doesn’t deserve this, but we all know how this story ends and even if you rip out the last page it doesn’t stop the story from ending. 

he’s a hero, he is, and one day it’s going to kill him. because his heart is too big, and he carries it in his hands, and no one can hold up the sky forever.

— heroes are only heroes until it takes its toll // p.s.

[actliving]

after a conversation with some friends, I've decided to put my asks on a semi-hiatus, I'm going to be prioritizing threads as best I can. This is no shade towards my ask-based peeps, I love y'all, but shortform metafiction Really isn't doing it for me lately & I realized I was putting myself at risk of losing muse completely. Outside of Tumblr, I'm gonna be working my manuscripts to try & scratch the longform bug when I don't have threads to reply to. Big love, ghost.