acutetubularnecrosis - Tumblr blog

[acutetubularnecrosis]

im so resentful that everyone is hellbent on keeping people alive when they’d be objectively happier dead. im resentful about how hard it is to kill yourself. the devastating consequences if you fail. like sure maybe for people who make spur of the moment decisions but ive felt like this for five years now — and on top of that, my life isn’t even objectively bad. i have enough friends. family that loves me even though there are so many insurmountable barriers between us. more than enough money to live comfortably. a well-paying, respected career pretty much set up for me. and yet. and yet. there hasn’t been a single day, a single moment, where i would’ve turned down an offer to just be snapped out of existence. a bottle of nembutal. a tank of helium and someone kind to watch over me to make sure i go. maybe in some of my happiest moments i would’ve been sad to leave. wistful. but i would’ve taken it anyway. because objectively it is the better choice for me. the world isn’t made for people like me to be happy. too picky. too volatile. too obsessive. happiness, contentment, stability — maybe they’re out there, for a version of me, in some lucky timeline, but the risks are too great for me to weather, were it not outweighed currently by the risk of trying and failing to die, along with the sheer amount of effort it takes to even get started on the path to a peaceful death.

[acutetubularnecrosis]

I can’t remember the specific point where I pivoted to thinking that death was infinitely preferable to being alive but now I can’t fathom living without the constant spectre of dying

[acutetubularnecrosis]

I always found it really weird that in their very first meeting, Hannibal and Will didn’t greet each other in the traditional way: “Hello I’m Hannibal Lecter.” “Hi, I’m Will Graham.”

I used to think that it was because their conversation about eye contact was their introduction and that normal greetings weren’t required.

Then I got to the finale, and the iconic “Hello Dr. Lecter.” And it clicked. When they first met, Hannibal was still hiding under his person suit. Will didn’t know who Hannibal really was. But in the S1 finale, he finally did. THAT’S when the official introduction happens - ChampionAshley on the Hannibal subreddit. (x)

[acutetubularnecrosis]

Why does it just get harder and harder im so fucking tired of wanting to kill myself for six hours a day

[acutetubularnecrosis]

Feel like absolute shit, know that when I’m done this series I’m going to have a terrible hangover if I’m not absorbed in it I feel like mainlining helium so what can I do

[acutetubularnecrosis]

HANNIBAL LECTER; haunted and haunter

Hannibal 3x03 ‘Secendo’ / Fatima Asghar ‘How’d your parents die?’ / Hannibal 3x03 ‘Secendo’ / Joy Harjo ‘We must call a meeting’ / Hannibal 3x02 ‘Secendo’ / Jane Healey ‘For Gothic Heroines, haunted houses are always too big.’ / @filmnoirsbian ‘Why are you haunted?: a survey’ / Hannibal 3x03 ‘Secendo’

[acutetubularnecrosis]

WHY ARE YOU HAUNTED?

A survey

[acutetubularnecrosis]

Disney plus is not even available in china i am begging you to stop blaming American homophobia on China

[acutetubularnecrosis]

my child is completely fine

fuck you your child is celebrating an anniversary of a minor french revolution because they got attached to a bunch of revolutionary gays in a 1.5k pages long book about parisian sewer systems

[acutetubularnecrosis]

Creative & DIY

[acutetubularnecrosis]

First rule of magic: always be the smartest person in the room.

[acutetubularnecrosis]

Some men are born to plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others to be great kings.

[acutetubularnecrosis]

More ask answer about Word of Honour (山河令, WoH) and the so-called “Dangai 101 phenomenon” under the cut ~ with all the M/M relationships shown on screen, does it mean improved acceptance / safety for the c-queer community?

Due to its length (sorry!), I’ve divided the answer into 3 parts: 1) Background 2) Excerpts from the op-eds 3) Thoughts This post is PART 1 ❤️. As usual, please consider the opinions expressed as your local friendly fandomer sharing what they’ve learned, and should, in no ways, be viewed as necessarily true. :)

(TW: homophobic, hateful speech quoted)

Keep reading