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Early morning post

I read back all my old post today. I can’t believe that I would write those words. Some were too emotionally driven. Now that years has passed, I look back and wonder if the person who wrote it is still in me. For once it felt like I was reading something written by a stranger. I had felt despair, hopelessness, fear, anger while also feeling hopeful, encouraged, and brave.

I used this platform to let myself know that it is ok to express what I feel. It also helped me to see that in a matter of days, months, years all those emotions can change be it good or bad.

One thing I admire from myself is that I had made many post about a person whom only may well be living in my imagination. Someone so far from me, that there would never be a way for our paths to cross ever again.

If only I can be this persons lover. All my long post will turn to reality but then life is unpredictable it may or may not happen but one thing I know for sure is that those words that I have written only says how much I really really love to be with this person.

If there is chance for us to meet again in this lifetime, I definitely would take the chance to tell … how I feel

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believe in his ever constant presence 🙏

keep faith

the things that is meant to be in your life will come to you💪

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something that i learned today. There are moments when you feel that you have greatly lost your battle with life and suffer through depression but if you look deeper and try to widen your view, you will see that there are areas in life where you win. you just have to broaden your mind, find the good in every situation everyday. be grateful even if its a small victory. find the strength and peace in it. you will never truly win in life but it will all depend on you. so choose to see the win. and keep living.

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when faced with the question “How do i know if I made the right decision?” my answer would be: It does not matter if it is a right or wrong decision what matters is your attitude to whatever consequences it brings. Be brave enough to accept that whatever choice you make it will bring out results be it good or bad. Don’t let it stop you from making that Decision. Take that step, say those words. Have faith that everything will be alright.

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A letter to myself.....

What is it really that is suppose to happen? My life has been full of questions, uncertainties and doubts. When would I find certainty in my life? I try to be strong and think positively every single day but whenever reality hits me I dwell back to my misery and it is affecting my health it may not be physically but mentally I am growing weaker. I know that every person has their own problems and I am no exception to that but I don’t know how much more I can handle I don’t know how much more I can take each day feels like I am slowly dying it may not show in the outside but inside, my soul feels dead. I ask for His strength every night I pray to Him that He will watch over me. I am just scared that even He will not listen to me anymore but I know and I believe that He will get me through this even though every tomorrow seems darker than yesterday. What I am learning right now in my current situation is that when life is not treating you well, you are only given limited options cry or smile, pray or worry, be weak or be strong, love or hate. If you are dealing with the same problem or in the same situation as me. I hope this brings you comfort by knowing that you are not alone. I pray that you may be given strength to face reality as it is. As they say every storm shall pass. Just keep your head low and stand firm. Be brave my friend for I am with you.

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be strong heart, keep loving and living❤️

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I hope i can find my peace knowing that things will work out soon. life will be better

i will be on a different place soon

i am claiming it, i will reach it

i am going for it

i need me right now. i need all of me

🙏

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I am learning to let go so i can take a step to where i want to be

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i have to keep reminding myself

i should look towards the bright side

He will never let me down

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I guess i can just keep living like this, you being my escape in this cruel reality. You give me comfort without doing, you give me happiness without knowing, and mostly you are my safe place when everything is messy. Weird how life works. Maybe that is why i got to know a person like you cuz one day i will be needing you to continue living this crazy world.

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rant post:

My intuition is clouding my judgement of others

What feels real but it does not manifest in reality

I don't want to think badly of another person and

I just want to go back to my old self

I just want my innocence, my faith, my trust, and my mindset back

I feel so broken by things I cannot even understand.

Please help me Lord 🙏 Listen to my heart

I believe in you🙇‍♀️

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lord i 🙏

let me out of this please, i dont want to get involved🙏

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take away the hate

take away the anger

take away the pain

😔😔😔

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Lets hide in the mask of maturity where you learn to tolerate something that is not right and just wish the other person god bless for whatever reason🥸

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How have you been

Seeing your photos now makes me wish i should have been brave before

Cos now your happy building a life with someone else, It hurts to realize that there is nothing I can do but to accept that maybe we were never meant to be

After all the years that I kept on wishing and hoping you where the one for me, from what i see now destiny played a trick on me

How can I change our history so that you can be with me instead

At least show me that I became special to you even tiniest bit is ok, because now i realize how much i really liked you

You are the only person i kept thinking about throughout this years that gives me sanity and inspiration, you made me look forward to tomorrow without even knowing, without even talking

I never realize how much i liked you before

So please give me a bit of you to keep, for me to live