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you guys ever think about how it's such a question for the ravens why jean is the only one of them kicking about, not having committed, not being crushed under the weight of the team falling apart and not being able to return to their normal.

and all along it's all because of his softness and his ability to love? his kindness and his empathy and his compassion kept him alive inside that hell because he allowed himself to bond with kevin and keep his promise to him.

his belief in the partner system as a code of law to protect the one you're assigned to allowed him to look after neil in the very short time he was in the nest, and pledge his loyalty to him, because neil was always meant to be his and that Meant something to him. which then painted him in a light that neil saw his devotion to him and said "this one we can pull away" (and they did!)

his love for beautiful people allowed him to form a bond with renee, that he probably told himself daily didn't really matter in the grand scheme of his life because he was going to end it one day. but despite all that he still wanted to reach out to her in what he thought were his last moments to thank her for being there for him and then she saved his life.

his craving to be seen and cared for and understood for who he really is allowing him to fit himself into the trojans, to accept their silliness to see how they move through the world with kindness even in the face of such aggression, allowing him to learn from the open way they love and express themselves and that being the ultimate way he's kept himself alive where the other ravens have struggled immensely.

the ravens wondering why jean is so "okay" post his time in the nest and is doing better than all of them and it being all because jean's heart is so big and it craves so massively that even when he tells himself it "doesn't matter" he still never stops reaching for what he wants

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nora has the opportunity to do the funniest thing by writing kevin’s book about kevin explaining game strategies and technicalities of how the game should be played for 300 pages straight. no thoughts no feelings just pure exy

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the oopy goopies :)

sorry for the inactivity on here!! </3 i am bad at using tumblr but ill try to be more active now that ive graduated too yipee anyways heres andreil

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jerejean vampire au where jean is a vampire who has loved and lost jeremy for centuries. over and over again, jean has had to watch his human lover die in every form he's taken because for some reason he is never able to save him on time.

until one day. modern day. jean makes it on time and he saves jeremy's life after a bad car accident. but jeremy has a horrible head injury. he doesn't know who jean is because this time jean saved him before he knew him. jeremy's head injury keeps making him have these strange flashes. almost like he's remembering his old lives. the doctor's tell him it's just the effects of the concussion he had and they'll stop with time. but they don't.

then there's this man. tall, dark, beautiful, but strange. he's been sitting outside jeremy's hospital room waiting for him to wake up. the girls (cat and laila) tell him he's the man that saved his life. jeremy thanks him. jeremy gets to know him. they become friends. they flirt. jeremy can't explain it but something about this man feels different.

as their friendship grows and they get closer, the flashes get worse. more vivid. sometimes jeremy feels phantom aches and pains on his body (places he suffered injuries when he's died in a past life) and among every flash there is a figure. a man. but his face is always blurry. his voice is never clear. but something about him feels safe. feels familiar.

jeremy doesn't know who this man is. and he doesn't understand what's happening to him. and nobody believes him when he says it feels like his past lives except for jean.

throughout all this jean keeps quiet. he remembers every memory jeremy describes to him when he has his flashes. can recall each moment with so much clarity and detail. jean remembers. in some of these lives jeremy found out he was a vampire and in some of them he didn't. sometimes he was afraid and sometimes he wasn't.

jean's life long friends (kevin? neil?) tell him he should give up. jeremy's going to die sooner or later. even if not by accident old age will get him. unless he turns him too. but jean refuses. he won't make that choice for jeremy. jeremy who lives life like every day is his last. who thrives on the idea that life is short. even more so after his accident and miraculous survival.

so jean won't say anything. jean won't ever tell him.

until jeremy stumbles across a room in jean's house one day. purely by accident. he finds a treasure trove of antiques. a collection of items some of which he can tell just by looking at them are centuries old and probably worth a lot. he thinks "huh? jean's a collector" until he spots something that's familiar. something he's inexplicably drawn to. something he can't stop himself from reaching for. then there's another. and another. then he realises these are all things jeremy's seen in his flashes.

how does jean have these? what is he doing with them? has he been researching them? researching jeremy's problem? why hasn't he told him? shared this with him?

jeremy's just turning away when he spots something tacked up behind the door. many somethings. sheets of paper and old parchment. faces. sketches of people. so many people. men and women from so many time periods.

something in him stills. he studies each portrait carefully. until he recognises the curve of a cheek. the bow of an upper lip. the fullness of a bottom. a scatter of freckles here. a birthmark on a throat there. he's touching his face, tracing the uncanny features in each drawing where they'd sit on his own. and in every single one, the same brown eyes he's known his whole life.

something in him shifts. suddenly he can't breathe. his head is pounding as it drags him through each and every life time. he feels each person's joy and pain. their first moments and their last. and swirling around every lifetime is love. aching, blinding, all consuming love.

that's how jean finds him. crouched on the floor of this room. sketches scattered on the floor all around him. jean panics. jean's scared. has jeremy put the pieces together. he goes to him, worried about him. jeremy asks. what is all this? how do you have all this? jean is speechless. he stutters through trying to get out an explanation but he can't.

jeremy feels...he's not sure how he feels. he has to get away. he needs space. he needs time to think. about what, he doesn't know. but he just needs to get out. the grief of all these lives around him is swallowing him whole. he feels their pain and losses so strongly like he's experiencing them for the first time. jeremy shoots up, ready to bolt out the door. jean grabs for him, terrified that if jeremy leaves he'll never get him back.

as soon as his hand wraps around jeremy's wrist - skin on skin - it's like he's been shot in the chest and suddenly the face of that figure, of that man, from all of his memories comes flooding into stark clarity. the truth and pain of it is too much and jeremy's brain feels like it's on fire. his knees give out and he's falling, his mind going blank and his eyes flickering shut, and the only words that leave his lips are "it's you. it's us..."

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quietly manifesting more small jerejean touches in tbc like jean tapping jeremy on the temple to wake him or jeremy carefully tugging at jean’s pinky to get him out of his head. more of that. soft jerejean you are everything to me ✨

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nsfw-ish: can’t stop thinking about jerejean having morning sex in jean’s bed. jean leaned up against the headboard and his large, strong hands gripping his lover’s hips while jeremy rides him lazily. the sun coming up off the horizon and bleeding into the room behind jeremy in a way that it basks him in gold as he moves and moans and pants quietly, making his hair shine brilliantly and his sweaty skin glisten. he is truly a picture of perfection and jean almost can’t believe he’s real. every now and then he leans in to kiss a moan off of jeremy’s lips just to be sure, murmuring sweet nothings against the shell of jeremy’s ear that never fail to have the blond man shivering and grinding down on him, his toned thighs clenching in a way that jean can’t help but run his hands over them and squeeze. nothing but the sounds of their love fill the room as jean gradually moves his hips to grind up against jeremy, the friction too good, too perfect. the moment is theirs, theirs, theirs and neither of them could ever ask for more than this bliss.

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You know how Stargazing is not only jerejean’s anthem by Myles Smith. Stargazing is when the boys are looking at the night sky and Jeremy’s pointing to the stars, telling Jean what constellations are visible tonight. Stargazing is when later on Jean is tracing freckles on Jeremy’s skin with his fingertips, connecting them into constellations and whispering their names to Jeremy in French

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jean as superman. jeremy as lois lane. jab as krypto. do i need to say anymore???

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i'm so i'm soooo obsessed with the idea of jean being so hungry, deprived, and desperate for jeremy. just so much pent up need and want for him bubbling over that when they first kiss jean is diving lips first and bodying jeremy against a wall. smacking their heads together a little, jeremy letting out a soft "oof" that jean swallows. teeth clicking, spit on chins because it's so messy and jean just wants all of jeremy. every little inch of his mouth. and he's so tense because he's so nervous, his hands almost ripping jeremy's shirt to shreds in his desperation to hold on with a white knuckled grip.

and jeremy, breath caught in his throat, huffs out a laugh into jean's mouth. he lets jean do his thing before cupping his jaw and slowly easing him back until there's a fraction of distance, a tiny web of saliva connecting their bottom lips. but jeremy is smiling, beaming, his jaw aching a little from how wide he opened his mouth to welcome jean in. but it's a good ache. the best ache. he smooths his lips against jean's and exhales a soft "like this, jean" and then pecks jean's lips. once. twice. three times. the fourth is a longer press. so is the fifth. it's more audible too. on the sixth jean presses back. his eyes aren't clenched shut anymore, but they aren't open either. and the tension is seeping out of his jaw under jeremy's fingertips.

jeremy tilts his head and goes in again, this time taking jean's upper lip between his own and sucking softly, letting jean take his bottom lip. jeremy breathes out through his nose and moans very softly. then it's a little peek of the tongue, tasting jean's lips. jeremy pulls back. smiles wide. does it again. and again. jean copies him. then, because jeremy has timed it perfectly, both their tongues catch each other and it's a delicious warm wet slide that has jean sighing so beautifully against jeremy he feels it in his own body. and so they do it again. and again. a little faster. a little more frantic. until oxygen is inevitably needed. but jeremy can't stop smiling and he can't stop pecking jean's lips while he catches his breath. and jean doesn't stop him either. won't stop him. not then. not ever.

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going to lose it if i have to see one more fuckass 'joke' about jeremy's trauma on twt

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trojans talking about dating and the topic comes to jean and they all start saying stuff like how he can get any girl or boy he wants he needs to start dating etc etc jean just waves it off and jeremy bites his tongue and doesn’t say anything. it’s not until it’s just the two of them when jeremy says “they’re right, you know. you can do it if you want. dating. anyone would be lucky to have you.” this is what he should do, right? encourage jean to do the things he never got to do before. he deserves everything best, he deserves some pretty girl or a nice guy who would look at him with stars in their eyes. so this is what jeremy should do no matter how the thought of jean with someone else makes him sick to his stomach or his heart feels as if it’s physically crumbling out of his ribcage. so he holds his hand to his chest to not let the pieces drop to the ground, and he risks a glance to jean. jean is too busy studying the smile on jeremy’s face that doesn’t reach his eyes to say anything, so jeremy hurries to fill the silence “sorry. it’s not my business. it’s just- im not the best person to talk to anyway. cat or laila would do so much better. it’s not like i know much about dates. or girls.” jean looks at him dead in the eye and says “you’ve never been on a date?” it’s the last thing jeremy expects jean to say, that wasn’t his point at all, jeremy was just trying to be a good friend. jeremy looks at him with wide eyes before he awkwardly laughs it away. of course he has never been on a date. who even would take him? he lets the conversation end there.

next day jean tells him to get ready and meet him outside. confused, jeremy obeys and finds jean by his bike.

“we are going somewhere?”

“anywhere you need to be instead?”

jeremy shakes his head and lets jean adjust his helmet. he tells himself the reason his heart is beating out of his chest is because he’s scared of the bike, right? so he lets himself cling to jean’s back as they ride, jean doesn’t seem to mind.

they spend the day on some edge of a cliff, watching the sunset. jean gives him sandwiches he made at home, his favorite. cheese and ham with tomatoes. no olives. never olives. jean knows that.

they talk for so long that the sun leaves her place to the moon and the stars shine so much brighter when they’re this close to the sky but jeremy cannot look away from how they reflect on jean’s eyes.

“i have no idea what brought this on, but thank you. truly. it was a beautiful day.”

jean just nods and they fall in to a comfortable silence. only as they’re leaving he says,

“now you can’t say you’ve never been on one.”

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can i perchance ask for some jerejean fic recs??? i haven't read any in a while and i'd love to know what everyone's recent favourites are

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jean living life slowly after the nest. his days were shorter there and everything was one thing after the next. exy, lessons, sleeping, eating, more exy. and now jean takes his time walking jab. lets him sniff every little patch of grass and corner of the wall. sits at a bench and feels the sun on his skin and the weight of jab's little body against his leg. he grows his own vegetables. he plants the seeds and makes sure they're watered and patiently waits for them to grow. he pulls them reverently from the dirt and washes them down with gentleness. he takes his time with his cooking. he chops and peels everything slowly and with care. he spends hours bent over a pottery wheel trying to form the clay into shapes. moves his hands slow and steady to push and pull whatever he wants to make that day. sometimes he won't even have anything in mind. he'll just let his hands do the work, patient with them. with himself. he'll wait days for the final product to dry and he'll take his time deciding how to paint each piece. he'll take his time getting out of bed because these days it's nothing but warm and safe with jeremy snoozing by his side. he'll wait hours with jeremy's cheek squished against his shoulder and his drool drying on his skin if he gets to see those brown eyes sleepily blinking up at him every morning and hear that sweet muffled groan as jeremy burrows deeper into his side or chest. he'll spend time sitting with cat and laila watching cat play her video games while laila brushes out his hair and then they'll switch places and he'll do the same. he'll go on long walks with cody on the beach and take them on motorcycle rides in the evening. they'll go far out, it doesn't matter how long it takes to get there and back. there's so much to see and so much more time to see it.

jean lives his life slowly after nest.

it always felt like there wasn't enough time to do anything but survive. now, outside, with his friends and his family, there's nothing but time to live.

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The lovely @aluha requested I draw JereJean on Patreon, and said I should post it here as well to be enjoyed ♥

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i have this headcanon that jean at his core is an artsy bitch. in time he discovers he likes fashion, he likes design, he loves photography and good music. he loves poetry and he writes. he gets tattoos.

like, this has been eating away at my brain, please tell me you see the visionnnnn

yes yes yesss a thousand million times YES !!! after a while of going shopping with the girls he defo starts to develop his own sense of style and it's fucking GOOD !!! he defo gets artsy with his pottery for sure! even starts picking up painting after realising he likes using his hands to create things and his paintings are super creative and expressive too. he would defo write as well but most of it would be in french. he's so creative with his insults imagine what he could say if he was being complimentary instead! tattoos would be great but i defo think that would take a while because of the trauma of getting his number 3 but i like to think he'd get to a point where it feels therapeutic to get something on his body that he chose himself.

but yesss i see the vision 100% !!! and i LOVE it

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Trying to iron out Jean and Jeremy's designs in my head and Jean came out looking like a sopping wet creature 😭😭😭

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Jerejean cuties