adhd-ryan

[adhd-ryan]

fruity rumpus

[adhd-ryan]

[adhd-ryan]

Possible unpopular opinion: treating having a special interest as equivalent to being an expert on the topic is another form of the savant stereotype.

[adhd-ryan]

Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

[adhd-ryan]

when i go on a walk and pet a cat thats the real me

[adhd-ryan]

we all have that one mutual with Information

[adhd-ryan]

knuckle tats tht say WHOO PSIE

[adhd-ryan]

okay Rook goes crazy for a non-binary name though

[adhd-ryan]

[adhd-ryan]

LMFSOODGSHFHDHXGXFGGD

[adhd-ryan]

i know her heart was in the right place but my mom wrote this in the funniest way possible

[adhd-ryan]

Can we find a sun god or diety from every timezone and make a map of them all?

[adhd-ryan]

Carolknight is a hilarious theory because yeah this is a grown-ass woman with a house and a job aurafarming on her daughter's girlfriend

[adhd-ryan]

drinking water when I have a headache should give instant relief. it should go away. what's even the point of drinking water if it can't do that

[adhd-ryan]

what you need to understand is that textile work is basically the closest i have seen to Real Magic and the reason old ladies in quilting spaces are either the grumpiest or the most whacky cheerful people you'll ever meet is because they're basically wizards who have studied the ancient crafts too long

[adhd-ryan]

i’m sick and tired of people pretending that burger isn’t delicious just to clown on americans. america deserves the ridicule, but why’s burger catching strays? burger did nothing wrong

[adhd-ryan]

what is the FUCKING POINT then???