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Important

The era we are in seems to be much more troubled then before. A problem that most of us ignore and even doesn’t consider it a sever issue, is picking up its pace. Many are scared to talk, open up and tell people around, what’s really going on with them. There are reasons why people like you and me get trapped in these dark moments in life, and some even can’t manage to find an escape. Yes, now I hope you can come to a conclusion to what exactly I’m talking about. Even if you didn’t get my point, I’ll advice you to stick to the article till end.

Life’s already a mess for all, no matter big or small. In earlier times, what was our routine? If you can just sneak peek into your days past, you will realise, we were much more connected, even to nature. We cared and we shared, we cried and we laughed, in short we were much more alive than now and will ever be. We tried to change our source of connection, from walking miles to just a click to make a call, we came a long way. So many inventions which definitely made our lives easier but even showed us the diabolical side of each other. The time when playing in sand was hell lot of fun then playing with emotions. Not that today everything is bad and earlier everything was right. When we use to travel miles and didn’t even had a cell-phone to call to inform our dear ones that we are okay, that was the worst part.

By now you might have got the idea to what and why did I tell you to look back. I want you to dive deep into the roots of the problem that we should know and talk about, rather than just ignoring it. The issue that we all state irrelevant is most important than it was ever, The Mental Health. Well, I have no idea what others really think about Mental Health, but I after experiencing it and even seeing others with the same issue around, have definitely come to terms that this shouldn’t be avoided. It is equally a problem like cancer, AIDS, and now Covid-19. The way you never avoid these troubling issues. I mean come on, your mind controls everything and its well being too should be your priority. Right now, we are already fighting Covid and in a hell lot of ways our mind is troubled. Through phone calls we somehow stay connected. Yet the real connection is lost, where earlier people enjoyed each other’s company, now it feels nearly a choke in throat when anyone comes around. When earlier if anyone wanted to join us at our place, the happiness was visible on the face. Now everything seems to be a bit absurd, and that’s where things got off edge. The more we show we don’t care the absence of people in our lives the more you are lying to yourself, and you know that.

I always ask this question of, how far can you go alone? Believe me you can’t even complete a mile. Imagine a solo trip to the Alps or with a group of friends to even a nearby hill station, what will be your choice. Which will be more fun?

Mental Health increases Suicidal tendency in a person if not aided properly. About one person in 5,000-15,000 dies by suicide every year, with an estimated global rate of 10.5 per 100,000 populations down from 11.6 in 2008. I’m not digging much of the data’s as you will get it on Google by yourself. I’m here just to let you know, how much we ignore it, how much we stigmatize it, without having any idea of why the person took that step. We are even scared if our kids try to talk about it, we force them to do their work rather than listening to what really they want to say. Yes, I must say I’m fortunate enough to have got a mum with whom I can talk about mental health and why it’s a taboo. Yet there are times that you can’t open up to even your mother. We very proudly say that “Suicide is not an option” or “Weak people commit suicide” and what not, but you and I have no idea what might have lead to that person taking such a step. I have seen and felt that you sometimes might approach the one whom you trust whom you love and who you want to be by your side but very unfortunately you won’t receive any help. They might ignore you or worse might give you recommendations to talk to someone else. This is one of the saddest things you will ever experience. The solution lies in you and me, if anyone whom you think is in need or if someone approaches you, please help them people. That is the last remedy. No injection or medicine is gonna work. It’s all up to the person affected and the one helping. In these hard and trying times we all got each other’s back and nothing else.

I’m writing this all in mid of a pandemic, where life is forcing us to accept this reality every passing day as its becoming normal that so many lives close to us, faces so dear, voices still warm from the last conversation are simply ceasing to exist. No good bye’s, just gone. This is important that we stand together, laugh the hell out and talk to even those we haven’t seen in ages. Try to know and recreate the same golden moments even if far away, as we have no idea what, why and when things will get wild and take ugly turns.

Signing off

Aditi (Ray)  

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Just Like This...

Let us all be honest and accept the very fact that we humans are growing pathetic day by day. You will receive least of the things you crave for most in this life, especially the good things. Being sensitive and emotional is definitely a curse on this huge planet, you will be used and hurt to an extent you can’t imagine in the beginning. May be a part of you will be lost forever in the darkness. The worst part is yet to be experienced after all the battles you will fight, and that will be, people will never understand or accept your pain. The thing is not about how many ups and downs you face; instead the fight is for the SUPPORT, which you will never receive. At the end we can see examples of people losing their mind, becoming wild, filled with hate, anger for all or some ending this freaking battle called LIFE. There are some who says “when you will get mature you will see things differently” but instead you should say that “Hey! When you will grow up you will register that everyone is legit selfish and to some extent crazy”. This is the reality gentlemen, you and I are never gonna be able to say that we are completely mature or can never be wrong. We are in a race where we have no idea what’s next and where it all leads.

People will try to justify all of your acts. If you say them that you hate them, there will be this list already prepared of why, how, when, where, and so on and so forth, especially why? The same happens when you say you love them. These emotions we carry with ourselves is what makes us a living being. Whether it’s an animal, bird, plant kingdom or humans, we all have emotions, yes different for different circumstances. After a long thought in my opinion the most powerful and the one which creates the rest of the other emotions is LOVE. This emotion has control over every damn thing. I leave this upon you to think, is it right or wrong, because I’m not going into the detail.

There are some who receive love and never care about it, and then there are some who will long for it their whole life but will never receive it. Then there is one stranger thing that I noticed, the one you will love may not understand or even if someone do, it will happen rare. And then the one who will love you, you might not feel the same for them, again if you do, that is also rare. Hence, we state it “COMPLICATED”.

Someone asked me today “why you don’t talk anymore the way you used to”?  The answer to this question which you might feel; is a bit weird. You see there is always this if I try to express and be a little frank and open, people get offended, and I’m literally not at all in a mood to explain that I’m just this way. When I talk I try to make people laugh, trying my best to do this without hurting anyone’s sentiments. When I see people around smiling and laughing their heart out, it makes me happy. But then this will be the same person who asks why you are quite; offending me the very moment I’m open and frank in my approach. So that’s the reason I don’t speak most of the time. The stereotypical society has too many ways to make you crazy, and feel deserted as for lack of love. They won’t support or love you in any way but will definitely question your change in behaviour or steps taken.

The fear sometimes that you aren’t matured enough to think this way is gonna kill you one day. You will never be able to express yourself as believe me a person is never completely matured, there can never be a time when someone will say I know everything and I’m complete. So if I’m not wrong be fearless to whatever you want to say, just be conscious about that you aren’t hurting anyone, otherwise everything you are going to say might not make sense to some but eventually can bring about a change either in society or you.

Signing off

Aditi (Ray)

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My Lovely People

I was born in a State of India during the mid of the winter Olympics held in the Salt Lake City, in Feb of 2002. During my birth, I wasn’t liked by my paternal guardians, because I was a girl. When I grew 8 months I was left at my maternal guardian’s home in East of India.  My childhood there was fantastically bewildering. My grandfather worked in ECL a Subsidiary of Coal India, so he got a quarter to stay. It was a big campus with a ground in its centre. I don’t quite remember how were my 3 years there, it must have been quite boring I imagine, afterall I was so small.

After three years, there came a family, unaware of the fact that they will meet a peevish. I got someone finally, to bug all the time. The family got four members, the father, mother and two children. The Elder child who was a sister, stayed with her paternal guardians for her higher studies, and the son stayed with his parents who too was very older than me. I being the incommode use to always stay around them. To everyone they were just neighbours, but for me they became so much more, can’t give a word.

The Head of the family, whom I address with Uncle, is a brilliant and an incredible person. Like him is none, and will never be, especially not around me. The Lady was the sweetest of all in the campus, I saw no one so alluring and inviting the way she was. The brother and sister together made a good team; they were caring, loving to all and extraordinarily brilliant like their parents. What a perfect family they make, seeing which I was astound, even to this day. I lived the best part out of my term of 19 years on Earth with them in just 3 years, which I can bet. I recollect the moments when I have made them all go crazy, Uncle Use to make me play even after his tiring day. Big brother handled my entire nuisance like someone own. Aunty was the worst affected, cause she being the one I disturbed the whole day. I always felt like home in their abode. And to my utter shock when I grew, I came to know that Uncle was senior to my grandfather, yet he was so grounded and loving towards me, being a great boss. The time when you are child is the most carefree time of your life, the phase in which you can do anything without thinking and most importantly live expectation free.

I remember crying and missing them alone after I left with my parents to Delhi. Things didn’t end up good for me, because they weren’t around. People say these things don’t happen in reality, all the feelings you have for anyone isn’t something to give much attention. Now after years I met them again recently. The moment I saw Uncle again, I was stone freeze, in reality only God knows what was going in my mind and heart. My happiness was touching seven skies. I had all those moments gushing in my head again. The last time when I saw him and this time were way too different. I wanted to cry and say it aloud how much I missed him and all. Things have changed drastically, now I’m in my teen years, and that too being a girl. To anything I’ll say and do will be mistaken. Being a girl is not only a challenge but sometimes a curse, you just can’t express yourself freely. Every time you utter a word, things aren’t going to stay the way it has been. People’s perspectives change, their behaviour changes. We have to keep every feelings hidden, every emotions which get’s heightened they need to be crushed within.

Finally, after years I got the power of expressing myself through writings. I told Uncle and Aunt, that how much I love and care for them, that I can do anything for them. Yes, I have written ‘n’ numbers of poems and letters concerning both. The expression that I got in ways of writing is something that has become my strength right now. Sitting beside Uncle and Aunt brings next level of peace and satisfaction. I have lived in so many states and have met so many people, and I bet no one’s like them, and I swear no one will ever replace their place in my life.

But I’m sacred, as to they will take it all my childish fancy. I wonder why anyone has to ever think that, cause whatever changes are the circumstances not the feelings, untill and unless something very out of the way truths are revealed. People just pretend that they don’t feel the way they use to, but believe me it’s all a lie. May be you will not see or talk to them so often but you will always feel the same from the beginning till the end. I’m a girl and so my words will definitely have a different and sometimes otherwise impact on things or people. I wish I was a child again carefree. We don’t grow alone with us grows the expectations of people and that really brings pressure.

It was different staying with them after years. Beginning was tough as I have to think several things before uttering a word, and when I really started to open up, I came home again. Time waits for none, so how it can wait for me. Whatever I write I share them, I tell them that I’m alone and just a call would do enough. Uncle is the head of subsidiary of Coal India and being a CMD off course it brings so much of pressure. You end up having no time for anything, yet he read all of my write-ups, and applauded me as if I’m extraordinarily talented. His gestures mean so much, especially when not even a single person has time for me. My family didn’t read much of my writings, which seem too awkward and difficult to register. What matters to me most is the time Uncle and Aunt usually takes out for me, regardless their busy schedule.

To be honest I’m no one to them. It’s their highness that they take out time and listens to me. God surround me with people like them, with whom I feel so complete. Thank You to God and to Uncle and Aunt for being so generous, kind and loving me so much, making me feels like your own. ”Right now I’m in no position to do anything for you, but at least I’m in position to make a promise; wherever I be or whatever I’ll be, you always got me. I’ll always be at your service my dearest and loveliest people. I wish God give me that strength to be of some help to you. I really want to do something for you, my Uncle and Aunt, after I do some favour upon my life. You both are mine and will forever be.”

Signing off

Aditi (Ray)

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Sick Life

The Phase that I’m in right now is so much troublesome, and yet there are people who will never understand. I’m in a dilemma of what, how and why. I want to run away from all of these feelings that trouble me every time, but there seems no escape. I have to fight all alone, cause guess what loneliness is the only biggest problem I’m fighting on my own. I may not be a great person right now; I haven’t done anything in life yet. To reach somewhere people go through these ups and downs, which I know but to be honest everyone needs at least, someone. The people I love are all busy; those for whom I can do anything are all not by my side presently. I don’t know till when it will all be this way, the circumstances are different right now. Outside we are fighting covid, through all means possible, and inside home and our mind something is not right which we definitely have to fight.

Look stop being a judger and fixing a parameter for problems. It’s so sad to see grownups not registering that kids and teens too can have problems, and that there troubled mind too need help. With an important examination on my head, and the undefined condition that I’m in; needs attention and should be addressed. I found ways and means to tell those whom I trust that “I need you”, but it seems like they aren’t willing to. No problem will not blame anyone for that, cause I understand, I’m not like the rest of the world. I don’t walk the same track like the rest, and will never choose to do what others have and had been doing.

Sometimes I’m just doing okay and suddenly things starts to change. I can’t discuss anything with anyone, because as I mentioned I don’t have any. I’m not asking for a Rolls Royce or Bentley, what I need is some support when I have not a full team of friends. It is shocking to see I have to explain every time and everything to everyone. I never needed any help, I was always a left out kid, with no friends or any sort of gatherings, only my solitude was something I clung. Those whom I had were all selfish who used me. These aren’t just a problem that only a kid faces instead it’s everyone’s point of concern.  Yet I didn’t utter a word, but in the present scenario when we can go nowhere, yes I say it aloud; I’m troubled and stressed. In life you can fight any battle if you have friends or your loving people around with you, for you. But, how far can you go alone?

Whatever I’m facing, I won’t let any other who will seek my help suffer this way. I promise this to no one else but my own self. It is sad to see that even after technological developments, and we humans moving forward in modern world, have no one for anyone. Even after learning and knowing all the happenings around we tend to shut our eyes and mind off. We deny the acceptance and to stand for each other even after the troubled mind approaches you.

I have decided to face every pain, grief, and melancholy on my own. I have already deleted my insta account which was making me sick, will delete my whatsapp too. The only thing that is stopping me to do so is that I don’t want to lose the good chats with the people whom I so dearly hold. I’m going to hide my whatsapp which is definitely becoming a trouble for someone. I have given these a long thought and have penned it all down, cause now enough is enough.  I wrote this blog so I can explain myself and to tell the world how wired we as humans and living creatures have become. No one’s for no one do remember.

After years if I will read this ever again, it will remind me of the days when I got no one. When I needed help there stood none.  I’ll forget nothing.

Signing off

Aditi (Ray)

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MY FIRST BLOG

Got up in the morning and had a feeling of writing my opinion about something very serious. Hope my readers like it as it is my first blog.

Anxiety, anger, hatred, jealousy are the symptoms of “Depression” which now effects greater section of society. Mental health illness is the as serious issue as CANCER, AIDS, TB, etc. diseases are, but some don’t take it seriously. Till today morning I was the same, but, one news in the paper changed my mind. The news was about a student committing suicide. When I read it, I got to know the actual reason and that was depression. That student was going through a period of intense depression from 7 to 8 months becoz of studies, not scoring good or maybe more. So, if I am writing it today what is the reason, becoz there are people who believe that these things don’t happen with a student studying at home and staying with mom. At some point it is true becoz mom solves many of our problems but mental health can affect anybody at any time.

For making it clearer I will give u a short anecdote. My elder brother was in ninth at that time when he suffered intense depression. I have bewildered recollections of that period, as I too was a kid. I have seen him simply crying for nothing…...I say it nothing but for him it might have been something serious…. he didn’t tell me anyway. My mum use to rush to school when called for her becoz my brother uses to start crying and saying that he would not be able to study and move ahead in life…… maybe he said that as I was not present there. Now at present he is alright…. far better than that year. One of the reason of him being in better position is my mum, and becoz of me at some point hehehe…. Uhh I should not say that but it’s the truth. He uses to share with me his problems and agony which he had and I use to just listen to him and support him in whatever he used to say, that is one of the way to keep a depressed person in good state. I will also give credit to him as he fought it bravely. There were times when he used to think of doing harm to himself, but thank god, he didn’t do anything wrong. He tackled it nicely and I m proud of him.

So, whatever happened to him taught me a lot, as younger brothers n sisters always have safer side, as they see there elder doing good or suffering or both and learns from them.

Now a day there is no age of being depressed or tensed, but, there is definitely a possible way out of it other then suicide. Mostly college students take this step as they have no one to share their problems with. Mom, dad and family often don’t want to accept that their child is suffering from mental health problems becoz of society, which is not good. If you met with an accident or u are suffering from high fever or u have chickenpox, the doctors will give u medicines or will treat u and tell u to take rest. But if u have mental health problem the only medicine for it is sharing your agony, pain with others. Yes, it is true that sometimes we don’t get anybody good to share our problems with and often gets slammed but, finishing your life is not the way out of it. Life is too short to worry about anything junk, we should never forget of those great personalities who have now achieved a lot but have all started it from a scratch. Don’t let your life get wasted in such unworthy stuffs. Usually the reason of a child being depressed is him not scoring good and seeing their friends doing great. But remember there will come a lot of opportunity in your way in life and a small sheet of white paper can’t determine your career. Albert Einstein, a name which is often called out when the matter comes to science and research field. World can never forget his contribution, and I think his name has become the synonym of genius. He was called a junk idiot when he was young by his teachers and family but he proved himself what he really was. This is just an example for those who think they are nothing or can’t do anything in life. And for those who feel that they are ugly or a little fat can’t cope up with others, I must say that “There is Art in everything you see” the art of God. When u look at the mirror you are seeing one of the most unique creation of God and feel proud of it. Beauty depends on the people’s vision, and nothing else.

When you get hurt only two people in this whole world will cry in real, one your mom and the other you. So, when there is nobody for u to cry when u get hurt then why you care about what others say. Just pass on and be happy.

                 “THE BRAVEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE WAS CONTINUING TO                                                                                   LIVE WHEN I WANTED TO DIE”