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real sadists understand that you can torture The Character simply by forcing them to live with themself

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My toxic trait is being fully convinced that, provided the right tools and supplies, I could easily fix a tooth cavity, something I have not been trained to do nor ever researched it.

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i am not my mother and i am not my father but a third worse thing

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Actually no one should be having sex. All of us are aged-up minors and the passage of time is inherently problematic

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Tasteful bulge? Yeah I would like a taste f- [I am interrupted by the sound of a dry twig snapping. This is impossible, as I am in the infinite linoleum bathroom dimension for this joke.]

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i'm not saying people shouldn't be reading more books, but i do think it's funny how many people thinking "reading comprehension" is just about how good you are at reading books and not like. criticial thinking skills.

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My mom’s friend’s parents had two beautiful cherrywood coffins built by an artisan for them and stored in their basement until they were needed. Which I think is so badass. Why put the burden of buying the $2k+ casket on your family when you’re dead? Why not preorder so you can have a Halloween decoration?

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tired: mermaids are all women

wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty

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I dunno man. I found out today that a subway sandwich is $14 now. A shitty subway footlong sandwich that isn't actually 12 inches long and is occasionally made with expired ingredients and was never a great option to start with. I ate those in high school because I was broke and at the mall a lot.

There are poke bowls in my city from a local place for $16. Super fresh fish and veg, warm rice, more than I can eat in one sitting, for the price of a sandwich and a drink at america's most mid-tier sandwich shop.

Someone in another post said (paraphrased) you used to be able to get something mediocre for cheap, but now the mediocre things cost as much as the nice things so why would you?

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seeing men on their knees awakens something so primal within me. Like it’s borderline pathological

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nsfw sideblogs r so funny. my friend we can't talk here it isn't safe.. we have to go to sex world together

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two bros, both alike in sexuality

in a hot tub, where we lay our scene

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"games are special.... because we... have stories to tell..."

*montage of third person combat in unreal engine 5*

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“I don’t do math because I’m gay” “the gays can’t do math” “If I explain math on tumblr I’ll lose my gay card” all of you apologize to Alan Turing right now 

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the mirage.. the one true thirst trap...