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Reasons Behind Them

For the context. And you probably knew it. My anonymous community is absolut Free For All post rule. No limits, and all the weird shit on internet put of there (yeah, I talked about weird sexual interest. And for your information. I'm a normal Muslim guy) and some of the them are really into this group until out all of them problem to the community.

There was a day I don't get it how on earth people would love a story with sad ending or people like to say "read to suffer is my hobby", until I saw this post

Trigger warnings ⚠️

Suicide, Hospitals, Transphobia, Homophobia, PTSD, Flashbacks, Disassociating

Hello everyone. I’m going to take this down once I have a new chapter ready to post, so this won’t be here for too long. I want to explain why I haven’t posted in some time, and why I may not for a while.

Thursday, May 26th of 2022, my sister tried to kill herself. She does this a lot, so it wasn’t that much of a surprise, but it turns out that this was her worst attempt yet. She was in the ICU for 5 days, unconscious for most of them. She had to be intubated because she couldn’t breath on her own.

This was already hard enough on its own, but to make it worse she was in Idaho. This is bad because 1. We had to drive 15 hours straight from California to Idaho and 2. My father and his side of the family live there.

I saw that side of the family, specifically his parents. My Dad disowned me for being gay and trans, saying I would never be his son. His Mom, while she did still talk to me, is incredibly unsupportive of my transition. The only person who was fully accepting was my Grandpa, so thank you to that man. I saw my grandparents for the first time in almost 6 years, and while I didn’t see him, I heard my Father’s voice for the first time in over 2 years.

On top of all of this, my PTSD has been acting up a lot lately for obvious reasons. This is causing my other PTSD things to be triggered too so I’ve been having a lot of flashbacks and sometimes have been disassociating heavily.

All this to say, I’ve been struggling lately. I know AO3 authors have the stereotype that we wrote through everything, but not everyone can do that. I know that I can’t right now. I want to thank everyone for being patient, and I want to thank everyone for reading. Writing this story brings me a lot of joy, and I’m happy that I can share it with you all.

- Leonard <3

End for the warnings ⚠️

Just... My community is weird, but this thing really open my eyes, people do awfull things are always a reason behind it. My Friend Leonard (i just knew this name today, before it we knew him as "thisbitch151" ) is a very Passionate person where things talk about sad story. I've no idea why this guy love to torture his reader, but turn out it just his coping mechanism, he tried to escape his ... Awful life.

So yeah, i wanna share his story so we can see this world from wide perspective...

PS. A lot of support already sent to Leonardo. Well, maybe those comments section change form support massage to "adu nasib". But... While Indonesian kinda hate it, our community love because there are lot a similar problem and they are not alone while facing it

PSS. Or some of them are actually weird at the first place.

[adminadminblog]

WHATSAPP STRANGER

this is just the rambling about shit(s) happening to me. A lot, I mean like A WHOLE LOT

let's just say spammers or unidentified numbers suddenly appear in my chat list out of nowhere. like, where the hell did this guy get my number? this WhatsApp literally burned in the fire like 2 fucking years ago.

if it spams, let just say we could mess around with this guy, hmm, I have an interesting story here, one day a gambling website’s employee gave me a “massive” opportunity to join their community. they greet like “hey, I’ve got a special slot for you and… “ yadayada, I didn’t read it at all, just thinking how much this company paid this guy (the hell he is a literal girl, like yeah they used a vulgar profile pict, but there is a lot of reason why I thinking that they were a hode). And the time I was going to block this number, a brilliant idea appeared in my head, and then I answered with all excitement aura

“Wow, is it true?” i really curious about “her” advertisement, you know, like a liar.

and after that, ‘she’ talk about the rule. like, how I put a bet, what kinda calculation that I need to use while playing, why im should trust their website to put a bet, etc, etc. ‘she’ rambling a lot if you ask my opinion, and ‘she’ was good at her job. but, I’ve another idea

“you know, I already know about betting, but I don’t know anything about you”

there is a long pause

she is not answering my chat immediately like usually, she did

cringe? yes,

am I regretting it? absolutely not. it’s fun

and ‘her’ reply is absolute madness, 

there is a new number that said “hai” to me

what

the

fuck

with a more natural girl photo using hijab,

shit

no no, don’t dare you think i’m falling for it, just… I wanna know, who controlled the game…

and that, we start introducing our self, of course, I using my friend’s real name lol.

like, hobby, school, movies, i know my friend very well, so it’s easy for me to pretend to be him,

and guess what? we still chatting until this Tumblr post is on the air.

and this morning, she confess if he is a boy. like ‘she’ sent me his real photo picture

and looks like this guy make the game,

but I make the rule

so I pretend to be a girl

said like “I fell comfortable with another girl, but turn out she was a boy, well, I don’t mind”

boom

another pause

this prank really works like, what the actual fuck lol. 

and he is not replying until know, but, meh…

you know this is first part of “WHATSAPP STRANGER” Series. next part? just ask!

[adminadminblog]

LGBTQ+ (what is Q and ‘+’ mean? full version or something?)

hey folks, I’m in the mood so let make this quick.

HUMAN RIGHTS. this unlimited shit is most limited. people say they can do whatever they want, but if that is so, why do rules exist in the first place? don’t get me wrong, folks. I love being free, but this year remind me that you need something to hand, something strong that makes sure your future is a thing that you looking for. and for this LGBT thing, well, human nature should be enough. but for note, im in the state that I don’t give a fuck to anything related to the ideology war, I mean just do whatever you do. just don’t push me somewhere else and let me enjoy the chaos.

but ok, I did some research and ask a lot of people who support this movement or are even being active or suspect in a hard way. I had a story from my friend (if I can say that), 2 introverted boys, and a long short story they met, spent a day together, and boom, they were in love. 

what they were like ‘im happy accompany by him and we would do it until ever’. they don’t think about the future, kids, neighborhood (or in that case, the people support the movement, so its society black flash as well), and yeah, they were are happy after. but hey, however they break the nature rule. is that the wrong thing? let be honest, I don’t know, I have no right and will to judge shit like that. what should I do? when I was at a dorm, maybe I determined to change that sentiment, maybe like ‘fix’ them or whatever. but dude, that is not fucking possible. im in my ‘good’ society and they ‘either’. so what is the point of fixing something that none of them are broken?

so in the conclusion, I change my mind. more like a downgrade if you ask me. but that shit is something I do by do nothing. my life is good, and that all i need.

[adminadminblog]

LGBTQ+

This thing going to be weird, I mean… totally weird. ah, but who cares though. my whole life is a joke and a collection of weird things.

COVID-19 has been pushing me back to the room, stuck in the same room 24/7. And based on the last story that I wrote, you guys knew me very well what I’ve done. Yup, being a neet, fucking neet. or in good terms, a writer.

My world turned around between books, internet pages, writer community, and yeah, just that. or in summary, house (or laptop precisely) and mosque. Just that, nothing more. damn, I remember when I was in the dorm. I used to spam around, cause chaos, being noisy, disturb someone, visit a new place (or let just say came to the same place and hope something new magically happens). what a good time.

and with literally nothing to do unless typing, my world going WILDER. I can’t believe that I spent 3 hours talking to someone who thing that earth is flat (i thought those people are extinct), shipping to a fictional character, furry, people who love angst, and on other fucking weird sex relation. im sorry to talk about this. and that’s why I brought up LGB-freaking-TQ as the main topic. 

first thing first, what do you think about LGBT? ok, look, when I was 14 and walking around in one of Yogyakarta tourist park. I saw something disgusting, a “couple” of foreigners, standing in front of each other, in the corner of the building, and they were kissing. and I was like WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT SHIT. ew, and ugh. I need unsee water, don’t get me wrong for being overdramatic, I was 14 ok… and a 14 y/o NOT supposed to see that. 

and then, im surrounded by a-whole-community who support those things, and im literally cant go from there because im PART of it. let just say im stuck, but a year later, everything changed…

im getting used to it.

i know what you thinking, but let me finished this nonsense.

but you know what? im tired, lets move on and wait for part 2

[adminadminblog]

So here I am (2)

seems to be a dark fantasy,

yeah, I know

but I love it

anyways…. here’s the problem, my problem(s)

my main idea is amazing ( i knew it from the survey, and they literally judge a project like a hell. No manners, just kill the writers.)

but one member that I notice has a low response because basically, his idea is to combine MHA and INVINCIBLE, an American animation that the main character has no chance to lose. OP story and everyone in the forum hates it.

but man, 1-month pass, and here the result. 

he finished the book, and I’m just stuck in storytelling.

like damnnn, you know what happens when the OP MC has a fight, who gonna win? but this man…. made a huge drama and logic in it. flashback, monologue, action fight, the interaction between characters. everything combined perfectly. We all already know who gonna win, but there is a drama that the reader keeps reading it.

https://www.wattpad.com/user/DefinitelyNotTKJ  here is the guy, a freaking 15 years old brat.  (Ultra Instinct, if you interested)

damn boy, I already talked to him like everyday because I admire him, a genius writer. and then find out a 4-years-old-YOUNGER kid.

I literally regret everything that I have done in high school, freaking wasting time.

useless.

and yeah, now I end up writing a journal about him and my story, only to regret my high school time, damn... 

at least I’m feeling better now

[adminadminblog]

So here I am

writing a FanFiction about my favorite anime, gather around with some member from the anonymous Reddit forum. Just sharing and commenting on other projects.

Yeah I know I’m new for stuff kind of this; bad writing, miss grammar, kinda obvious.

but well at least I learned something.

4 chapters with 1200 words each chapter (it’s far from done, and from this point, I feel bad for those famous writers -TereLiye. etc- who always start a campaign about ‘counter the pirate book’. ‘couse writing a massive story is ridiculous fucking hard ).

For you who don’t know what is FanFiction is. It’s just a story made by fans, basically. Let just say… you guys should know about Avengers: ENDGAME. Where Thanos loses the war, the good guys win. FanFiction basically remakes the story. maybe Thanos suddenly has a backup from galactic pirite, maybe Captain Marvel forgot about the earth and not go there to finish the war, or Thanos smart enough to kill ironman in the first place.

damn, I love how my mind could produce a lot, like A LOT, crazy ideas.

actually, I wanna share my story here. but let me give you some synopsis

you know My Hero Academia?

The appearance of "quirks," newly discovered superpowers, has been steadily increasing over the years, with 80 percent of humanity possessing various abilities from manipulation of elements to shapeshifting. This leaves the remainder of the world completely powerless, and Izuku Midoriya is one such individual.

Since he was a child, the ambitious middle schooler has wanted nothing more than to be a hero. Izuku's unfair fate leaves him admiring heroes and taking notes on them whenever he can. But it seems that his persistence has borne some fruit: Izuku meets the number one hero and his personal idol, All Might. All Might's quirk is a unique ability that can be inherited, and he has chosen Izuku to be his successor!

oh well, our main character now had a quirk? how about “he did not”

oh, 80%? what do you think the other 20% feel, discriminated? not a part of society? what could they do? fight? owh, maybe start an underground rebellion.

while our MC struggling to survive under the discrimination to quirkless, and that decides to take revenge. what could happen next? owh you right, our beloved main protagonist cloud be the main villain.

...