adoredher

[adoredher]

[martel] "don’t joke; i mean to have a serious talk with you." [ :/ ]

His laughter dies almost as quickly as it started. The air feels tense; he can’t remember the last time they had a room fully to themselves, either. David tries to stay relaxed -- he’s done nothing wrong, after all -- but he worries what Raphael might have said to him. He knows how close they are, and he knows how it all must have looked. Jane has tantrums sometimes. Wrecks a room, hurts herself. He was only helping her to calm down.

Despite himself, David’s throat goes dry and all the moisture seems to migrate to his hands, now too clammy to even hold his glass. He puts it aside and stands, hands now pushed deep into his pockets.

“If this is about yesterday -- well, it was all a misunderstanding. Way I see it, your little pet should keep to his own business instead of meddling in mine.” David smiles then, tight. “I wanted to talk to you about it. He let himself into her room. What if she hadn’t been decent?”

[adoredher]

[raphael] ❛ i won’t give you a second warning. ❜

“I must’ve missed you giving me a first.” 

If Raphael thinks that time that he managed to catch David off guard counts as giving him a warning, he’s utterly wrong. David remains unshaken, untouchable, for even if Martel has started believing Raphael’s stupid ideas, he certainly hasn’t shown it. David’s lips stretch into a lazy smirk, and he looks at Raphael briefly before glancing away to light his cigar, swaying on his feet. 

Being Raphael must be tough, David thinks. He imagines that life presented him with a choice, once -- leave behind his home and his people to work here, or stay in the filth with the rest of them and be nothing. Perhaps he would have been happier being nothing. David assumes it’d be near on impossible for him to just go back to it now.

Maybe it’s the fact that Raphael has caught him after a couple of drinks, but David finds himself genuinely interested to know more about him. Venom almost forgotten, he exhales. “You have family back there?” he asks, gesturing vaguely to the trees and what’s beyond. “Ever see ‘em?”

[adoredher]

seacache‌:

Something in Martel’s smile tightens for a moment when David says savage, but it relaxes; he claps him on the shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. “I’ll send him to his room in the evenings,” he reassures him, withdrawing his hand to offer a handkerchief from his coat pocket instead. “But I’m afraid he does have work to do for me, and Quispe can’t watch him every hour of the day. But he’ll behave himself around you and your ward from now on. Won’t you, my dear?”

Raphael hasn’t moved. “Yes.”

Martel laughs. “Really, you needn’t worry about him,” he assures David, patting him again. “Take a seat in the front room, won’t you? I’ll have Quispe make you some tea while Raphael and I have a chat upstairs.” There is the faintest hint of unpleasantness in his voice, but whether the threat is aimed towards Raphael or David, one can’t be sure.

David’s eyes narrow for a moment, just barely. Martel hasn’t believed him, he can tell -- but that doesn’t mean that he will go on to believe Raphael’s wild tale, and so David doesn’t worry himself too much with it. He is, however, horrendously put out by the fact that the punishment doesn’t feel harsh enough. Send him to his room in the evenings? “You ought to tie him out with the dogs,” he says, wiping his face clean. The bleeding seems to be stopping. David finds himself disappointed.

He looks at Raphael, stare hard, unfaltering. “If I can’t feel safe here, we might have to leave,” he says, and he knows that his words -- in Martel’s mind, at least -- are weighted with the amount of money he’ll take with him when he goes. He hopes that that is enough to make Raphael keep his mouth shut. 

“Jane Marie isn’t to be disturbed,” he says, walking towards the door. “She’s unwell. Leave her be.”

[adoredher]

@seacache continued !!

Raphael has done some awful things in his life. Things unbefitting of anyone, let alone a priest tasked with taking care of an entire village. When he kills, it is at Martel’s command or in his own self-defense. That is all. He loathes it except for the fleeting moments where he doesn’t; where it feels good to have that much power over someone.

Right now, standing over David, he can feel that power running through him. More than that, he’s angry: angry that he knows what David is, angry that he wants to kill him but can’t. Angry at the smirk that tugs at David’s mouth when they both hear those footsteps and Raphael freezes, realising how this will look.

“Try and put me in one, then,” he says quietly. He flexes the fingers of his right hand, which doesn’t hurt. “See what happens.” He wants to tell him Martel doesn’t like women-beaters but there isn’t time: there’s a shadow in the doorway and he knows before he even looks that it is the last person he wants to see.

“G-d, I leave you two alone for five minutes,” Martel blinks, rushing forwards to offer David his hand. “Don’t tell me you provoked him,” he says, frowning as he pulls David up to his feet, eyeing the state of his face. “He can be touchy about some things. You know how Indians are. What happened?”

He hasn’t even looked at Raphael, who stares hard at the floor.

David doesn’t for a second consider how this is his fault. Raphael has meddled where things don’t concern him, and let himself be influenced by Jane’s childish fantasies. She likes to pretend that her life is oh-so-hard and that David is a cruel man, because it’s fun when somebody wants to jump in and save her. David knows he’s never done anything cruel to her, never a single thing that wasn’t done out of love. If she wants to hate him, let her, but he won’t have anybody giving him a beating over a little girl’s make-believe game.

When Martel pulls him to his feet, David edges around behind him so that the other man stands between him and Raphael -- partly for the line of defence, and partly so that Martel won’t see David smirking. 

“Your savage attacked me,” he says. “I didn’t provoke him. He approached me -- and he didn’t even have a reason.” Wild animals rarely need a reason, he wants to add, but he doesn’t want to risk angering Martel as well. He knows that the two of them are close and isn’t sure how far bullying Raphael will actually get him.

David, once again wiping his bloody face, spits. “I want him locked away while I’m in this house. And I want him kept away from the girl. Fuck their little lessons. I won’t have him making her feral, too.”

[adoredher]

When Raphael sees him again, he doesn't see red. His anger doesn't boil over like a kettle left on the stove: he's too measured for that. It simply is what it is, and Raphael is drawing his arm back and punching David in the jaw so hard it knocks him off-balance. He doesn't say why; he only stands over him, black eyes blazing, jaw set. [ he's PISSED!!! ]

       David doesn’t have time to ask what he did to deserve it, but he is sure that he knows. He should have known that Raphael and Jane would get closer, and he understands why: she’s a pretty girl, and Raphael doesn’t strike David as the kind of man to get a lot of attention from pretty girls. Of course he laps up whatever she tells him, no matter how absurd. 

       He is, at first, stunned into not reacting. When he does process it, the first thing David thinks is how the fuck did the help even get that close to me?

       He tastes metal and spits. A red splatter appears on the tile floor before him, and he looks to Raphael as he wipes his mouth on his cuff. He’ll give Raphael one thing -- he punches like a horse kicks. If David weren’t so disgusted by the whole thing, he might have congratulated him on it.

      “She’s a child,” David finally says, words slurred by an already-swollen lip. “And you’d fight a man over the tantrums of a child?”

      Footsteps approach in the hall, and David considers getting up to save face, but quickly realises -- if they are found, especially by Martel, then Raphael gets stuck between a rock and a beating. A slow smirk spreads across David’s face, and he makes no effort to stand, listening to those steps getting closer.

       “You’re a savage,” he says. His voice rises and falls in the taunting lilt. “You ought to be in a cage.”

[adoredher]

⨳ — ALTERED CARBON; V

send one for my muse's reaction!

“When everyone lies, telling the truth isn’t just rebellion. It’s an act of revolution. So think carefully when you speak it, because the truth is a weapon.” “The reason why he has no answers is because what you are talking about is not real. There’s no conspiracy.“ “Ever wonder why he was here? Why he knew my real name?” “I want to go in and see her.“ “I don’t have time for this.“ “I told you before, we’re not friends. I don’t owe you a goddamn thing.” “I’m chasing down my fucking leads to get what I need. Which, in case anyone is interested, is my freedom.” “Did I fucking stutter?” “Don’t talk to me again unless you have something useful to say, okay?” “The guards’ll be fine. Well, except for the broken jaw and shattered leg.” “Yeah, well, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.” “I could get you a car if you’d like. Or you could stay a while. With me.“ “Your freedom, that thing you want so much, he’ll make sure you never see it. You have no idea what he’s capable of.” “You’re terrified.“ “I don’t believe in punishment. I believe in reward.“ “Mmm. Uncountable, my sins.“ “You can have all of me, for as long as you’d like. And when you’re finished, your freedom.” “I’m not here to save you, [name].” “I believe I’m the one offering to do the saving. Think about it. But don’t take too long. We’re running out of time.” “What could you possibly know about my age, [name]?” “Great. You’re the best, [name]. You really are the best.” “Mm-hmm. Mmm! Oh, my God, this is cold, God damn it!” “I give them something to believe in.” “It’s just another display of power.“ “It’s only stealing if you get caught.“ “Oh, I’m sorry. Is this a bad time?“ “Promise to treat her with decency and fairness.” “So what’s my word worth to you?“ “Hurt her, and I kill you.“ “I’m not here to save anyone.“ “You know, it’s getting easier to imagine putting holes in you every time you open your mouth.“ “There. I’ve given you a free show, which is more than anyone else alive has ever gotten from me. Show’s over.“ “You know I can read lips, right?“ “You’re not me. You never will be.“ “How do I know you are who you are?“ “So how does it feel… to be a few hours away from freedom?“ “Finding truth is more than a search for data. It’s an excavation of self. You have to keep going, no matter where it takes you. Because nothing can stay hidden forever.“ “When I look into his eyes, I see you looking back at me, and… it’s been a long time since someone looked at me like that.” “I’m sorry I’m not [name].” “Just shut the fuck up.“ “How could you not fucking believe me?“ “[Name], where the hell are you?” “Are you out of your mind?“ “I appreciate that you are no quitter. But there is a time for letting go.“

[adoredher]

[thatwasdark, pre series] "Me? I'm no one." He is wide-eyed and trying to smile, but Silver knows danger when it finds him. "As a matter of fact, I was just taking my leave." [ the first time david meets him RIP ]

     All he has to do is look this boy over, and he knows. There is no other reason for it -- their home is so far out of the way that it is rarely stumbled upon without intention, so he cannot be just passing. If he’d had the presence of mind to come up with a convincing lie, David might have had no suspicion, but as it stands, he is just a young man walking away from the home of a beautiful girl, with no excuse for the action.

     And even if David didn’t know before, the twitch of a curtain from a lit window at the house proves it. She’s watching, because she is worrying for him, and she worries because she loves him. The very idea makes him feel sick.

     David stands aside to give him room to pass through the gate and says nothing as he looks down at this street rat of a boy who’s dared to enter his home. He draws a mental picture of him -- of the nervous smile, the pretended confidence -- so that he can ask around about him later.

The boy says I’m no one, and all David can think is you will be.

[adoredher]

*eyes snap open at 3:47am* i’m unlovable

[adoredher]

Black Sails 1x03 Sentence Starters

You’re dripping blood across my floor. When do you imagine you’ll sail? I was hoping to have you all to myself. What if he tells the wrong person the truth? I can’t help but notice that you don’t seem to like me very much. In my defense, I’m still trying to figure out how this whole place works myself. We’ve been on land for two days and you still haven’t gotten yourself laid. Now that’s a mistery for me to investigate. Don’t be pleasant with me, I know why you’re here. And who exactly is going to captain my ship under these circumstances? No matter how many lies we tell ourselves, no matter how many stories we convince ourselves we’re part of, we’re all just thieves waiting for our noose. After fifty years at sea, you’re the only man I’ve ever met who got dumber with age. Get up and walk away. I don’t know what you’re after, (…), but you sound like one desperate motherfucker to me. Instead of pestering me, you should be out there looking for a boat. Be honest: are you the only one as surprised as I am? Now that the terms are agreeable, who will be the one to enforce them? You’re too clever for your own good, (…). Perhaps it’s better you finish cleaning up last night’s mess before anyone finds out. What you did, it required an answer. You move, you die. We could’ve lived. We could have been free. Our survival hangs in the balance. You were right. This is a remarkable book.

[adoredher]

if you ever feel safe please remember that im out there

[adoredher]

open! to strangers, new neighbours, new co-workers... to all (but please read these first)

      “ain’t much, but it’s mine,” he says of the run-down cottage that stands before him. in truth, he’s just glad to be settled; he and jane have been up and down the country for so many years now that he’d forgotten what it was like to hang his clothes in a closet. he’s forgotten what it’s like to have neighbours, too. it’s gonna be quite a thing to get used to.

    he turns to the other and gives a little smile. his life must look the perfect picture right now: new house, a niece who’s hanging laundry outside without being asked to do it, and a bright shit-eating grin on his face from ear to ear. “c’mon in. hungry? jay’ll cook us up somethin’. or i’ve got a couple’a beers in the fridge.”

[adoredher]

didnotcreak‌:

“Aren’t they quite the butcher?” Will Graham didn’t know if the corpses at his feet came from a real human. If this was another nightmare where he would wake up with sweat on his palms, he’d be grateful. This heart belonged to a little girl and this lung would’ve carried the air that kept her older brother alive. “Was it a kitchen knife?”

    It took a lot to shock Detective Wyndham into silence, but Will went and did it. The way that he was looking at everything -- like he was impressed, rather than discussed -- made the man’s blood run a little colder. If he didn’t know better, he’d say it looked like he got off on it. “Kitchen knife, yeah. Found it just over the way.” He rocks back on his heels, eyes to the ceiling. “You ever see anything like this before?”

[adoredher]

malprops:

to stop himself from making a poorly timed ‘oh, you think i’m cute?’ joke, misty has to physically bite his tongue. it stings, but he figures it’s nothing to the fury and subsequent beating it’ll inspire in a raging homophobe such as this. this fucking charmer.

         ‘ you know absolutely fucking nothing about me, man. now would you step away from my car, please? ’

     he doesn’t need to know shit about his life to know that the guy’s disgusting. david finds himself wishing that the way he lives was still a crime, because at least then he could protect his family from it. deviants like him deserve jail. 

   david doesn’t move, but nor does he say anything in response. he’s taken to looking past misty, around the car, trying to spot something he can pick him up for.

[adoredher]

malprops:

he’s barely got the window down before he’s being berated by the stranger outside  —  he’d even had an, ‘i’m sorry, do i know you?’ ready to go. a few thoughts cross his mind, starting with an all-too-innocent, because i’m a mortician? and ending with an infinitely more likely, because you’re a fucking bigot.

         ‘ by the likes of me, ’ he parrots flatly. ‘ you got something against long hair? green shirts? vw bugs? ’

   “don’t get cute with me, son,” david says, and though he thinks he’s being calm, his voice could still probably carry to the fifth floor of the building. “i know what you are. what you do.

he leans a hand against the car door and leans down to sneer at him through the open window. “you stay away. hear me?”

[adoredher]

for @malprops.

    he’s been waiting for neil to come home. as soon as he sees his car pull up outside, david is out of his house like a shot, slamming the door so hard behind him that other people start twitching their curtains to see what’s going on. obnoxious as ever, he knocks on his neighbour’s car window until he rolls it down.

    “jane-marie’s a good, god-fearing girl. she doesn’t need’ta be influenced by the likes of you,” he says. david hopes that neil catches his meaning there, because he doesn’t want to have to say the word for himself.

[adoredher]

OPEN. please read about and rules! SUGGESTED: friend, neighbour, church buddy, police dept. pal, etc - anybody he knows who needs a place to stay for a while.

    if the drawn curtains and constantly locked doors didn’t suggest it already, david thinks his whole demeanor screams i like keeping myself to myself. it’s why he already regrets offering up his home to the other. he hates how vulnerable it makes him. the thought of somebody snooping around his house and touching his things makes him feel uncomfortable -- but not quite as uncomfortable as the idea of someone knowing anything about him does.

     he scratches at the back of his head, unsure of what to say next. he scans the other as he thinks, eyes hovering on the suitcase that suggests this visit is going to be longer than a couple of days, and does his best not to groan about it. “hope you like sleeping on couches,” he says finally, shifting from foot to foot. “ain’t got a bed for ya.”

[adoredher]

dismemberings:

          “Whoa, you uh, you projectin’ there a little, buddy?            I bet you did consider it, jerk-off. Sorry. Detective            Officer Jerk-off.”

   “You’re talkin’ such horseshit that I can’t even get offended by it. Projectin’. You gotta stop smoking shit. Fryin’ your damn brain.“