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A Hippo is faster than a human both on land and in water, so the bicycle is your only chance to beat it in triathlon

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dickens would either write amazing erotica or he’d spend too much time exaggerating the characters noses and foreheads to even compare their dicks to steam trains or something. just noses and foreheads bumping about the place.

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Fun fact my grandpa was in the Air Force but only because he cheated his way in

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When you discover that these two:

Were married in Love Actually

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I love how the romantics were unable to tell if they were feverish or experiencing an (1) emotion.

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I was in line at Aldi and this girl with two toddlers in front of me had her card declined and she looked so fucking sad and said “let me call my husband real quick” and it was only 18 dollars, so I just paid for it, and she was very sweet and then as she walked off, the lady behind me said `”You know that was probably a scam, right?” and like, even if it was, like what a sad fucking scam, right? 18 dollars at the Aldi. If you’re “scamming” me for some Tyson chicken and apple juice and cauliflower, then just take my fucking money. 

“A scam” people are fucking wild.  

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howl’s moving castle ハウルの動く城  [ 2004 . ]

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Saw this sign yesterday. What do you guys think it means.

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“I am lonely, yet not everybody will do. I don’t know why, some people fill the gaps but other people emphasize my loneliness.”

— Anais Nin

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Popular Opinion

Mint Ice Cream and other mint flavored foods taste GREAT and y'all can’t change my mind

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imagine your OTP

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a lesbian wizard, or a lizard,

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take me to art museums and make out with me

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bdsm stands for

Bees Do So Much for the environment

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im going to the forest does anybody want anything? 

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why are people 5’4 and under always full of unrelenting rage