adriana345905 - Tumblr blog

[adriana345905]

why am i always the girl you take advantage of before you meet THE girl? am i doing something wrong? god i wish i knew.

[adriana345905]

Writing about Love when I have no idea about what Love is —

You are not fond of horror movies and yet you will catch yourself watching the scariest of scary movies with them. You generally stay away from spicy foods but now because of them, your spice tolerance has reached to the highest of high levels. You are not a fan of binge watching and some how you end up staying up late with them just to finish that TV series in one go. You don't dance but you still slow dance with them when the song "Perfect" plays in, even though there is nothing perfect about your dance moves. You don't know how to cook but you still manage to cook an entire meal to surprise them with a candlelight dinner. You don't sing but you still sing for them because it helps them put to sleep. You don't have do to these things but you do it anyway.

But you should note that these things should be done out of devotion and not as an expectation that you are trying to meet just to impress them. It shouldn't make you feel like you are forced to do it. That just means that you are not being yourself because you are making yourself do the things that you are not comfortable with. So is it really love if it makes you feel uncomfortable? Because in love, as much as they matter to you, your comfort matters as well.

So no, love is not about moulding yourself into a completely different person for them just because you have to. Instead it's tweaking little aspects of you only because you want to. Also remember it works only when this happens vice versa too.

// Love is about giving space for accomodating them but at the same time preserving space to be yourself //

[adriana345905]

maybe i’m not meant to fall in love with anyone. maybe i’m meant to fall in love with myself. fall in love with life and everything it has to offer. or maybe i am just saying that because i am afraid to end up alone.

[adriana345905]

i wish to get accepted to Rutgers!

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

[adriana345905]

lately i haven’t felt the sparks. it is so dull, it’s not fireworks on fourth of July. it seems more like a tranquil quiet day. i need to feel those sparks

[adriana345905]

I wish to get accepted into hunter college

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

[adriana345905]

I wish for my period to end.

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

[adriana345905]

This kind of love makes me wonder, have I been in love before? This love makes me forget about all the other ones from the past, maybe this love is true love.

[adriana345905]

am i getting bored? or is fight or flight kicking in? I think the last time I took a dip into someone’s waters, I fell in way too deep and couldn’t find my way back to the surface, back to land to where I was. I suffocated a bit down there and panicked because I thought I would never get back to shore. But I did. And now it’s been a while since I’ve dipped my feet in the water and my body keeps telling me, “don’t do it, you’ll drown”. So I keep taking a few steps back just as a precaution. I’m not sure if I’ll ever take a few steps forward.

[adriana345905]

I feel like a fraud. When the words come out of my mouth do I really mean them? Can I swear on everything in my life that I actually mean them? Or am I playing a character of my own making? Trying to be what “happy” is supposed to be? Am I happy with you or am I playing myself? Am I playing you?

-do i mean it?

[adriana345905]

What is there left to say? You’ve let me down way more than i can count on one hand. In misery, i lay here wondering why i keep coming back. Why is it that i seek your approval? Why do i let you hurt me when you mean nothing? I’ve given you way too many chances and thats my fault. Shame on me. But i won’t get fooled again.

[adriana345905]

there is a final release in quitting the thing that keeps you prisoner. For me, it was the sweatshirts and the hoodies. I finally threw them out and with it went all the memories of you, of us. I know i keep saying this is goodbye, but for once in my life i feel like it is. Goodbye.

-“you don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world but you do have a say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope he likes his.” (John Green) But it’s over with.

[adriana345905]

it’s getting hard trying not to disappear into the background. I guess it’s inevitable. On the other hand, it’s exactly what i want to do. I want to get lost in the crowd and not come back out.

-Am i ever going to stop feeling like this?

[adriana345905]

“He still loves me” she said after the first shot. By the 12th shot of tequila she was on the floor crying, “He never loved me, i imagined it because i wanted it to be true”

-Nobody likes a sad drunk

[adriana345905]

[adriana345905]

i can’t believe i almost gave you everything. i can’t believe how compliant i was to the way you treated me. i just can’t believe i loved you and placed you in the middle of my universe when it should’ve been me. I should’ve noticed how you were treating me and should’ve let go before it was too late. Too bad hindsight’s 20/20 right?

[adriana345905]

there should be rehabs for heartbroken people, after all love is the biggest addiction of them all.

-it’s hard to quit a habit you can’t help.